Coffee Morning Reminiscence: Part 4
As they walked back to the Smash Mansion, Luigi and Jigglypuff noticed that the town was already full with visitors, all eagerly waiting to see the matches live and desperately hoping that they got the best seats or that the best seats somehow remained free so they could nip over to them instead. Many of them noticed Luigi and Jigglypuff who had the distinction of being among the Original Smashers as well as being what were known to laymen as 'Secret Keepers' which, for Luigi and Jigglypuff, meant they were privy to the inner workings and knowledge of the Smash Tournaments and also had responsibilities relating to said position.
Because of the length of time they had been 'Secret Keepers' as it were, consistently through the tournaments, Luigi and Jigglypuff also knew more of what was going on than the rest of the Smashers usually and were practically designated Chief Secret Keepers. However, both were taking a break from it this time round.
"Year of Luigi?" Jigglypuff asked with a smirk when a visitor shuffled up to Luigi and shyly asked for his autograph in recognition of his achievements.
"Yeah." Luigi flushed with embarrassment but there was no denying that he was proud of this recognition. He signed the scrap of paper and the visitor bounced away delighted. "I mean technically it's ended now but it's just been this thing where people have started to recognise me since we're not called Super Mario Bros. for nothing. So I've been doing quite a bit of work revolving around that and helping Professor E. Gadd out at the same time so things have been very busy. And truth be told, I just want to be able to relax a little more at this tournament if such a thing is possible."
"I know what you mean," said Jigglypuff, "and since I've been doing work for Guildmaster Wigglytuff, I've decided to step back a little here too because I'm going to be very busy when I get back to my world in training new recruits and all that, helping out with this conquest thing, ask me about it later. I'll help out every now and then I think but I do think it is time for someone else to hold the reins as it were."
"Any ideas who?"
"I'm not too sure, especially as there are so many Smashers this time. And I don't think they're all going to be joining from the beginning. I hear there's going to be some strange fighter from a completely different dimension where they are all very obsessed with combos or something."
"That person will have fun here then," Luigi smirked. "Just wait for them to get to grips with the stages, especially Pac-Land."
"I still can't believe Pac-Man's coming to our tournament," said Jigglypuff.
"He and Mr Game and Watch should get along very well, especially if they start reminiscing about the good old days or whatever the good old days are supposed to be. He'll probably have a chat with my bro about adventuring and the like as well. He's a pretty nice guy. He'll probably want to discuss ghost-hunting with me though." Luigi sighed and rolled his eyes.
"To think that we knew about Pac-Man ages before anyone else though," Jigglypuff smiled. "I think Master Hand's still going to depend on us a lot. It seems strange that he chose us in the first place though to be secret keepers."
"Aha, I remember Master Hand's words," said Luigi drily.
"OK, I'm choosing you four to be secret keepers or secret Smashers or whatever because you will be the overlooked types, rarely questioned, rarely considered, hopefully won't let success go to your heads and because goddammit, I've got to pick somebody to help lighten the workload a little. I can't really depend on Crazy Hand whom I've sent on a trip anyway so he won't accidentally destroy the stuff I've just created."
Way to boost confidence, Luigi thought dully. Why can't I be more like Mario? Why can't I just stop feeling afraid of everything and be brave like him? Maybe that would help. But I seriously doubt it. Brother to a world-famous hero and he was considered the overlooked type. Wonderful.
"Crazy Hand, in case you're wondering, is my brother, the other side to me, whichever you want to pick. I'm the creative personification, he's the destructive personification. He won't be around the first tournament because I want everything settled in first."
Floating hands, thought Jigglypuff. That's just so weird. Then again, we have some pretty weird Pokémon back at home so I guess I can't comment on it too much.
"You might be temporary," Master Hand continued, "it depends on a number of factors including on how I'm feeling and issues to do with recognisability and reliability. I mean, Ness, for example," The psychic boy looked up feeling rather worried, "I've a feeling that your little adventure will become very well-known in the future even if it seems somewhat neglected at the moment despite its intriguing setting, so your secret keeper position will be a temporary one for this tournament. Captain Falcon, you're not really the hero type per se but you'll probably become popular because of perceived coolness or whatever so again, you might be temporary. Doesn't mean that you two can shirk your duties though by which I am going to send details once I've compiled my lists. You may also go now."
Pfft. Overlooked type, Captain Falcon inwardly grumbled. I'll make sure the fans remember me. Just wait until they get a hold of my Falcon Punch!
I guess people don't know about me much, Ness thought. I hope people will get to know me in the future though. It would be nice for others to know of my adventure, especially considering how weird it is.
"So what about us?" Jigglypuff asked when Ness and Captain Falcon left, feeling both honoured to be chosen for such a task and miffed at the implications that they were basically thought of at the last minute and were required only to take up some of Master Hand's workload to make sure that he didn't do everything himself. "Did you choose us because we're basically outsiders and no-one will really give a damn about us?"
"I chose you two," Master Hand intoned, "because you both have hidden depths."
"Nice of him to say that really," said Jigglypuff. "He's not as scary as people think he is unless he's drowning in paperwork and administration. I was kind of thinking about what he had said for days."
"The One-Hit KO experts, the people in the back scenes doing the organising, the ones who prompt others to further better themselves; that's us alright," said Luigi with a smile of satisfaction. "It's going to be a great tournament I think."
"You reckon nothing will go wrong?"
Luigi hesitated. "Something will probably go wrong somewhere. And some of us will have to sort it out. But that wouldn't be entirely unexpected. Just look at the time when Bowser blew up the bathroom in trying to make explosives. Mamma mia, now that Bowser Jr. and the Koopalings are with us, we'll have to watch out that the whole Mansion isn't blown up."
"You guys sure have a lot of representatives in this tournament," Jigglypuff felt compelled to say. "Others might get jealous."
"Well, the Koopalings are under the same roster place as Bowser Jr. for whatever reason and Yoshi and Wario represent their own series technically. Most don't have a great deal of representatives to choose from anyway although I think Anna from the Fire Emblem lot would be an obvious addition; I'm surprised she's not come here yet. And maybe Viridi alongside Pit and Palutena. Better than Dark Pit anyway since he's just acting as a clone. I seriously wish we didn't have clones."
"Tell me about it" said Jigglypuff, knowing that Luigi was challenging her to point out that he was technically a clone once. "Especially when we have so many Smashers this time round. I think Master Hand might have bitten off more than he can chew."
They always wanted more than he could provide. When he provided them with what they wanted, it was never enough. He was but one being. What more did they want?
"Seriously!" Master Hand erupted. "I can't take anymore! There are far too many requests for me to deal with! I want this! I want this! Why can't you people be satisfied for once?! And for goodness sake, at least do me the courtesy of sending me some proper requests! Who the hell is this green ogre guy? Is he a video game guy? NO! I WON'T PUT UP WITH THIS!"
"Yo, bro!" Crazy Hand cheered as he wandered without permission into Master Hand's office. "I'm making potatoes that extract sunlight and I'm getting a pink cat and- WHUMPH!"
"Just burn every one of these papers for me," Master Hand ordered as Crazy Hand staggered under the weight of the towering memos. "I've got enough to be dealing with without being disturbed. Now go away and if you're good, I'll get you a lollipop."
Master Hand groaned as Crazy Hand scuttled out of sight. His palm itched. That business from the last tournament, those Shadow bugs, were still plaguing him. When Tabuu had him brought under heel. It hurt more than he would dare admit. The primal darkness had not entirely disappeared. He had to stop the possibility of infecting the world, his world, again.
Something would give. Something had to give.
He floated over to the cabinet and thought desperately. He opened a drawer and pulled out a perfectly formed, darkening orb.
He needed it away for good. It wasn't going to go away on its own. It needed to be broken, shattered, destroyed. It would help him, cleanse him even.
He closed his fist around it.
"Hey, bro, I wondered where you got to," Mario said once Luigi and Jigglypuff walked through the Smash Mansion doors. "Nice to see you too, Jigglypuff." The Pokémon gave a wave of acknowledgement.
"Had some Mr Saturn coffee at Brewster's," Luigi shrugged. "Not intentional mind."
"Oh, right. Anyway, Pac-Man, remember my little bro, Luigi? He's been a Secret Keeper here since the beginning but he's taking a break from it this time round. And this is Jigglypuff, a Pokémon from the Pokémon world who's also been with us since the start."
"Wait, what?" Jigglypuff exclaimed. "It sounds like you guys already know each other! Why wasn't I informed of this before?"
"Oh, yeah," Luigi replied, "Pac-Man joined us for a couple of kart tournaments as a special guest. And brought over some of the ghosts as well who, of course, escaped for a while. E. Gadd's pretty glad to have something new to study by the way. He's thinking of improving his ghost jacket based on his observations."
"Excellent," said Pac-Man. "Always glad to help out a fellow ghost-hunter. You'll have to tell me what you've been up on that scene." Luigi couldn't quite hide his grimace at that. "Anyway, I'm glad to meet you, Jigglypuff. I'll also be glad to get to know everybody else here as well and try to get back on my game. Mario's been giving me some advice on how to get back to the big-time again."
"Differentiation," Mario explained. "I said about getting into some new adventures and breaking free from the whole maze thing because while a lot of people complain if things stay the same, they also complain if things don't actually change. So yeah, new adventures and stories but of course still having the ghosts, power-ups and whole waka-waka motions. Good design is also really important. And also staying away from the cartoons."
"That was a low-point in my career," Pac-Man admitted. "Though I was not responsible for the designs. Still, I'm going to get a cool movie role so I have that to look forward to."
"Our designs were fine but our people toned down certain things to make them suitable for kids," Jigglypuff inputted. "Otherwise, they'd be accused of being a moral disgrace. Of course, they were then accused of needlessly toning things down for the kids. Talk about a conundrum."
"At least ours has had some memetic value," Mario shrugged. "Though if we watched them, we'd die of embarrassment. That rapping one was one of the absolute worse. And the film. Especially the film; you and your fellow Pokémon have got that so much better. I also said that you want to avoid at all costs what we in the business call an '06'."
"I heard that," Sonic muttered from the corner.
"Or a 'boom job'," Mario added, twisting the knife even further. "Because you know Sonic, testing is really vital."
"Of course we tested!"
"Right," Mario sniggered, "and those glitches were a figment of my imagination. And you didn't get involved in this dreams collection business either. Oh, don't think I haven't seen that," he added as Sonic's eyes widened. "That is some seriously messed-up stuff, rival of mine, though I realise you didn't have much choice in the matter. Take my advice and leave the dreams business to Kirby; he is from Dream Land after all. Oh, yeah, and us come to think of it. Did you play Dream Team Bros.? We're pretty good at the RPG stuff."
"And I suppose I should stay away from princesses as well?" Sonic drawled.
"HELL, YES!" they all shouted. It was something that the Smash Mansion unanimously agreed on. Princesses were best left to the likes of the Mario Bros., Link and the actual princesses themselves, Peach and Zelda.
"I don't know which was most disturbing," Mario continued, "that she kissed an animal or a corpse or the fact you could just about see Eggman's eyes behind those shades." It was a continuing debate. The idea of Eggman without his shades was just plain wrong.
"You'd had people of different species kiss you!" Sonic yelled, enraged.
"Alright, you've got me there. But at least I was alive at that point and in our world, the species thing isn't that much of an issue. Unfortunately, it is on yours. And that boom cartoon-"
"I am seriously gonna take tighter control over that," Sonic declared. "You know what? I think I'll sort that out now. And by the way, Mario, you are the first person I am going to seriously KO on the battlefield."
"He'll forgive me," Mario shrugged once Sonic left under a cloud. "He always does because he knows he's never going to quite match me and that's a view others have put forward, not me. Anyway, Luigi, I'd love to stay and chat but I promised that I would finish drawing up these plans for Pac-Man and then we'll go grab something to eat, OK?"
Luigi and Jigglypuff waved Mario and Pac-Man off after agreeing to met in the restaurant later for 6:00PM and decided that now would be a good time to check out the games room. There were some seriously good retro games to be had in there. Some terrible ones too but at least you could have a laugh in completely mocking them. No sooner had they thought that however, there was someone shouting for them.
"HELP! WE NEED HELP! SERIOUS HELP!"
"Never a dull moment," Jigglypuff smiled as a figure dashed towards them. It wore a red T-shirt and shorts and trailed a bug net. For a split-second she thought it was a Bug-Catcher Trainer. But then it was the shorts. They were comfy and easy to wear no doubt.
"OK," Luigi said smoothly, "what's the problem?"
"Well, you know the, er, floating hand in this place-"
"Master Hand," the classic Smashers intoned.
"Er, yeah, well, it seems to have gone a little crazy and turned into some weird abomination. The power suit person told me that it's taken refuge deep in the Classic Area and we need some really strong fighters to take it on. The battle area looks like a volcano's erupted and everything."
"Huh, going crazy is Crazy Hand's business," Luigi muttered, "but I know for a fact that he's busy setting up his own challenges now that's he's finally been given more responsibility. Well, let's go then. By the way," Luigi whispered once the boy had run off, "that Villager really creeps Mario out. It's just something about his eyes apparently. And we've got him coming over for our next kart tournament along with Link. Mario doesn't want to think that Villager's out to get him in any way but..."
The Smashers made their way to the Classic Area where a number of Smashers congregated. Through the whirling vortex before them, they could see a devastated, blackened landscape with lava rivers coursing around the outskirts and lightning illuminating the dark skies when they did not see flames spiralling across the atmosphere. It was a harsh environment, a deadly place to set foot even for the most experienced of adventurers.
R.O.B. rolled forwards to the latecomers.
"I have calculated," he said in his monotone voice, "that Master Hand has been infected by the shadow bug crisis that occurred during the last tournament when Tabuu tried to take over this world. Master Hand thought that he would be able to overcome this but even he has his limits and it has corrupted him to the point of what I deem to be 'Master Core'. I fear there will be additional forms to destroy should you manage to succeed against Master Core."
Luigi and Jigglypuff then noticed some defeated Smashers being dragged over to the Medic Centre, moaning about its forms being terrifying, destructive forces that surely came from the bowels of hell. Luigi gulped and then he thought that he had dealt with far worse.
"They tried to beat the Smasher Clones that inhabit this clone and they may well have reached Master Core but he obviously proved too much for them. Master Core must be defeated. Will you now take up the challenge and save us from this latest calamity?"
Luigi and Jigglypuff exchanged brief grins.
"Nothing like defeating a corrupted monster to keep us on our toes," Jigglypuff smirked.
"I'm feeling up to the challenge," said Luigi. "Not that have we much choice. Are you ready, Jigglypuff?"
"Oh, you bet I am, Luigi."
Luigi and Jigglypuff gave each other a nod of determination and shared confidence and without further ado, stepped into the void with the powerful feeling that they would be the ones to defeat Master Core.
When I get round to Super Smash Bros. again, I too will defeat Level 9 Master Core! Or more technically, Master Fortress. I nearly did once but I couldn't find that last orb and then I got battered. Seriously.
Anyway, thanks for reading!