CHAPTER FOUR
Finally, dawn broke over the mountains. It had been a long night and Aaron hadn't been able to completely stave off the fever. Making one last check on both Matt and Jen, leaving them both asleep, Aaron went to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.
He would make a quick breakfast of cereal for himself and Jen. By the time they finished, it should be light enough to get Matt settled in the truck and start the drive to Tahoe. Once he dropped Matt at the hospital, he'd head over to the Ranger station to let them know what happened and have them contact Jesse.
It was a chore to get Matt loaded in the back of the truck, as he was only half conscious most of the time. Aaron checked him before they left and notice that some of the wounds had started bleeding again, no doubt because of the pushing and pulling necessary to get him loaded up. Aaron re-bandaged them, then settled Jen in next to him with instructions to bang on the window if anything happened.
He layered several blankets over Matt and wrapped an old quilt around Jennifer, then climbed behind the wheel and started down the mountain. It was a long, slow and bumpy ride for the first hour, until they finally hit pavement. Then he flipped on his emergency flashers and pressed his foot down on the accelerator.
Fifteen minutes later, he came to a stop just outside the Emergency Room doors. He raced inside. "I need a doctor! Got a man attacked by a bear!"
Several medical personnel hopped to work, two grabbing a gurney and wheeling it outside, two others running out ahead of them and hopping into the bed of the truck. Jennifer moved out of their way and climbed down to join her grandfather on the driveway. Aaron wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close.
The doctors did a cursory exam, then ordered Matt to be brought inside, one yelling out orders for blood tests and X-rays and operating rooms. That last bit scared Aaron just a bit, but he tried not to show it, for fear that Jennifer would pick up on it. He didn't want to scare her any more than she had been already.
They followed Matt and the medical folks inside, then Aaron was handed a clipboard. When he frowned, the nurse explained that they needed Matt's medical information. Aaron pushed it back toward her. "I don't know any of that information. But he's the Commander of the High Mountain Rangers. His name is Matt Hawkes. I need to get to the Ranger station to let his father know what happened."
"Sir..."
"I'll have one of the Rangers call you to take care of all that paperwork," Aaron said as he turned around and led Jen back out the door. "Come on, girl, we need to call Jesse."
The nurse was left holding a blank form, Aaron totally ignoring her efforts to get him to come back. But she ran over to her computer. She'd heard of the High Mountain Rangers, so she entered the name Aaron had given her and luckily found medical information on Matt Hawkes already on file.
Aaron jumped into his truck with Jen and hurried to the Ranger station. When they walked in the door, the Rangers were hurrying around, gathering up equipment. They looked like they were heading out on a search.
"Mr. Bass, what can we do for you?" He turned to find one of the Rangers behind him.
"Cutler isn't it?"
"Yes, Jim Cutler. Sorry for all the excitement. We haven't heard from Matt since last night. We're just heading out to search for him."
"Well, you can stop."
"You know where he is?" Cutler asking, looking up in surprise.
"I just dropped him off at the hospital."
Cutler turned to the others. "Hey, hold up! Matt's been found!" The others dropped what they were doing and gathered around. "Go on," Jim instructed the older man.
"Yesterday, a bear tried to attack Jennifer," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"You okay, Jen?" Tim Hart asked. She just nodded in reply.
"Matt saved her," Aaron said. "But he got hurt in the process."
"Where did this happen?" Cutler asked.
"Not far from my cabin." Aaron raised a hand. "I know, I should have radioed you all to come get him. But my radio has been broken for a couple weeks and I haven't gotten it fixed yet," he said, still feeling a deep guilt for not having done that. "I cleaned up the wounds and bandaged them. We drove him down this morning and dropped him off at the E.R. I need to let Jesse know."
Everyone could tell that Aaron was feeling bad. Frank Avila approached. "I can call him for you Mr. Bass. Why don't you and Jen have a seat. Jen, do you mind answering some questions? We need to make sure that the bear wasn't acting abnormally."
Jennifer looked up, tears in her eyes. "She was just protecting her cub," she said softly. "I didn't realized I'd gotten so close."
Robin Kelly crouched down next to Jen. "Honey, it's not your fault. You and your grandfather did what needed to be done. You helped Matt and got him to the hospital. That's what's important."
Jennifer's tears flowed even faster as she turned and buried her face in Aaron's side. He hugged her close as he moved her over to the sofa.
"Mr. Bass, what kind of injuries did Matt have?" Hart asked.
"Some deep gouges on his back and leg. I cleaned them up, stitched those I could and bandaged him. He was mostly unconscious and running a fever when we got him to the hospital. They need someone to help them with his medical information. I didn't know any of that."
"Don't worry about that," Hart told him. "He's been in Barton Hospital before. They have all of that on file. And I'll grab his records that we keep on file here, just to be sure what they have is up-to-date."
Frank walked over to the radio. They'd already called Jesse earlier, to see if Matt was at his house, so Jesse was already aware that something might be wrong. Picking up the mic, he took a deep breath. "K-L-M seven-seven-niner to K-L-M four-zero-five, come in Jesse.
It was only seconds later that the reply came. "K-L-M four-zero-five to K-L-M seven-seven-niner, this is you find him? Is he alright?"
"Jesse, good, you haven't left yet. Aaron Bass is here. He told us that Matt was attacked by a bear yesterday. He just dropped him off at the hospital."
"How bad?" Jesse replied. "Are Aaron and Jen okay?"
"Yeah, they're fine. He told us that Matt has some deep gouges on his back & leg and he's running a fever."
"Tell Aaron thanks. Cody and I will head straight to the hospital. Hawkes out!"
"Rangers, out," Frank said before hanging the map back on its hook. He turned back to face the room. Everyone looked scared and anxious. "I'm gonna go to the hospital," he announced. "Who's going with me?"
As the acting Commander in Matt's absence, Hart knew it was up to him how to handle things. "Take Cutler," he ordered. "I'll get Matt's file from his office." He continued as he went to do just that. "And keep us informed. I'll notify HQ and let them know. Robin, get a statement from Jennifer and Aaron. Izzy... " Their youngest Ranger looked up in anticipation of something more to do then manning the radio"...man the radio." He slumped in defeat. "And make a fresh pot of coffee. I think we're gonna need it." Hart handed over the file to Avila and the pilot and Cutler hurried out of the building.
Orders doled out, Hart returned to Matt's office, to make all the notifications that needed to be taken care of when a Ranger was injured. As much as he wanted to be there with his Commander, his responsibilities were here, taking care of business in Matt's absence.
/
The waiting room was empty except for those waiting for word about Matt's condition. Jim and Frank had been joined within the hour by Jesse and Cody, then a few minutes later Robin had shown up with Aaron and Jen. Not long after they arrived, the Rangers had been called out to a rescue, leaving the others to wait and worry.
Aaron and Jesse were quietly talking, while Cody and Jennifer played a game of chess on a board Jen found in a cabinet while she was wandering around the room.
"...so sorry, Jesse," Aaron was telling his friend. "If I hadn't kept putting off coming to town, I would have had that radio fixed last week and he would have been down here last night, getting properly looked after."
"Aaron, from everything you've told me, and what the nurses told me when I got here, you did everything you could to help Matt. You cleaned his wounds, stitched up some of the deeper ones and kept him warm and quiet. You got him down here first thing this morning. The nurses say he's holding his own for now and the doctors are re-stitching all the wounds."
"I'll never forgive myself if..."
"Hey, I don't want to hear that kind of talk. Matt is going to be fine. He's healthy and strong. And as stubborn as his old man."
"I was wrong about him, Jesse. So wrong. He saved my Jennifer. Wrapped himself around her so that she-bear couldn't touch her."
"That's my boy," Jesse declared, proudly.
"Mr. Hawkes?"
Both men looked up to see a young man standing in the door way, wearing surgical scrubs under a white coat, a stethoscope draped around his neck.
"Yes. How's Matt?" Jesse asked, as all four gathered around the doctor.
"I'm Doctor Hartman. Your son is doing well. He's still running a fever, but we've been able to re-stitch and re-bandage the wounds. Sorry it took so long, but one of the deeper wounds required some addition internal stitching, which we had to do in the operating room. We're pushing a full spectrum of antibiotics. We'll keep a close watch over the next twelve to twenty-four hours, to see how his body reacts. We're hoping the fever starts to come down."
"And if it doesn't?" Cody asked. The doctor glanced Cody's way, then back to Jesse.
"It's okay, Doctor. This is Cody, Matt's brother," Jesse told the man.
"Cody...well if he still seems to be fighting the fever, we'll use other means, like cooling blankets and other medications if necessary. We have seen a miniscule drop already, so I'm hopeful that more medication won't be necessary."
"Matt doesn't like taking drugs," Cody told him.
"Good, because I prefer not to prescribe them unless absolutely necessary."
Jesse nodded, approving of that approach. He loathed doctors that over-medicated their patients.
"When can we see him?" Jesse asked, putting his arm around Cody's shoulder.
"He's in recovery now. Once we get him settled in a room, I'll have the nurse come find you. That should be about forty-five minutes or so. I'm the on-call doctor on duty tonight, so I'll be checking on him periodically and they'll call me if any complications arise."
"Thank you, Doctor," Jesse said, holding out his hand.
The doctor grasped and shook. "My pleasure. I'll be back to check on him in a couple of hours."
Jesse watched him walked out of the room, the worry still not completely gone. He knew it wouldn't be until he could see his son and talk to him.
"He will be okay, won't he, Dad?"
Jesse turned to look at the worried face of his youngest. He pulled him close, wrapping his other arm around him. Cody, in turn, hugged his father tight. "He'll be fine." When the young man in his arms didn't readily agree, Jesse tried again. "Cody, your brother is one of the strongest and toughest men I know. He's young and healthy. And he's stubborn."
"So, except for the young part, he's just like you," Cody teased.
Jesse growled and ruffled Cody's hair. "Watch it, boy. I can still put you over my knee for such impertinence."
"You'd have to catch me first," the young man said, finally smiling up at his father.
Jesse grabbed Cody's face in both hands and leaned forward, giving him a sloppy wet kiss on the forehead.
"Daaad! Yuk." Cody wiped a hand across the forehead. Jesse smiled, his heart lifting a bit, as it usually did when around Cody.
/
An hour later, Jesse and Cody were sitting next to Matt's hospital bed. Matt was lying on his stomach, the blanket pulled up to his waist, his entire back covered in white gauze bandages. Both arms had IV's attached and a nasal cannula delivered oxygen through the tubing in his nostrils. And his right leg under the blankets was nearly twice as big around as his left, being wrapped in bandages.
The Rangers had stopped by on their way back from their most recent rescue, spending just a few minutes in the room before having to return to the station.
Aaron and Jennifer had decided to take the opportunity to gather some supplies, to both replenish the first aid kit he'd pretty much depleted while caring for Matt, and also get the parts Aaron needed to repair his radio. Aaron had insisted that he planned to get extra parts so that he'd be able to repair it right away if needed in the future. He was never going to allow this to happen again.
He'd confessed to Jesse, almost ashamedly, that it scared him to death that it might have been Jennifer who had been injured and he felt guilty that he hadn't been so diligent and it cost Matt so much pain. Jesse had tried to assure him that Matt would understand, and that Jesse himself held no malice toward him, but Aaron kept insisting that it would never happened again, and apologizing for not being able to get Matt to help more quickly.
Finally, Jesse had just accepted his apology and forgiven him, which seemed to make Aaron feel better. He and Jen left, promising to return with lunch for Jesse and Cody.
A moan from the bed alerted both Hawkes men that Matt was coming around.
"Mathew, son, open your eyes," Jesse coaxed. "Son, you're in the hospital. You're gonna be fine, but I need you to open your eyes." When he got no response he looked at his youngest. "Cody, you try. He might listen to you."
Cody nodded and moved closer. "Hey, big brother. You need to get off your lazy butt and get back to work!" As Jesse continued to rub his hand along Matt's uninjured leg, Cody leaned in closer. "Matt, are you gonna let your Rangers show you up? They're out there working while you're lazing around in bed."
Matt groaned and moved his head. "Always got to appeal to his competitive side," Cody remarked, smirking at his father. "Come on, Matt," he whined, "Cutler is showing you up!"
When Matt began to move a bit more, he became aware of his injuries and hissed.
"Easy, Mathew," Jesse said, leaning close. "You're hurt, don't move around."
Finally, Matt began to open his eyes, blinking several times, before closing them again.
"Cody, go get a nurse or doctor," Jesse instructed before moving closer to Matt's head and running his hand through his hair. "Just stay still Matt, but open your eyes."
"Hur's," came a soft hiss.
"I know it hurts, son. Do you remember what happened?"
It was several long seconds later before the quiet, "Bear," was heard, and Matt opened it eyes, finally focusing on his father's face.
"That's right. You saved Jen's life, son. I'm so proud of you."
A small smile slid across Matt's face as his eyes drifted shut again, just as the doctor walked into the room.
"I understand our patient has decided to wake up," he said, pulling his stethoscope out of his pocket.
"Sort of," Jesse remarked as he watched the doctor move around to the other side of the bed.
"Matt, I'm just going listen to your heart and lungs," the doctor explained. "Then we're going to get you settled on your side. It might hurt a bit."
After getting his vitals, the doctor and two nurses settled Matt on his left side, with several pillows stuffed in front of him. The doctor then ordered some additional pain killers to offset the pain that was caused by the movement.
Matt had been able to stay conscious throughout the adjustments, but once the painkiller was administered, he settled back into a deep sleep. Once the doctor did another check on his vitals, he turned to face Jesse and Cody again.
Smiling, he hung the stethoscope around his neck. "It looks like his temp is finally returning to close to normal. And his vitals are looking good."
Jesse sent a silent prayer of thanks, smiling at the doctor as he pulled Cody close. "That's good news."
"I'm optimistic. We'll keep a close watch on his injuries, make sure the infection doesn't return. Your friend did a good job cleaning and bandaging the wounds to begin with. That helped a great deal in keeping the infections to a minimum."
Jesse nodded. "Will you do me a favor and tell him that, Doctor. Aaron is feeling very guilty for not getting Matt help sooner."
"I'll be sure to mention it next time I see him." He glanced back at his patient. "Matt should sleep for the rest of the night. I gave him a sedative along with the painkiller. And you two look like you could use a good night's sleep yourself."
"If it's all the same to you, Doctor, I think we'll stick around," Jesse said, having seen the look of protest on Cody's face.
The doctor smiled. "I had a feeling. I'll have the nurses bring in a couple of more comfortable chairs."
"Thank you."
"Have me paged if anything comes up or if you have any questions," the doctor said, inviting them to ask anything they wanted.
"We're fine. We'll be sure to have someone get you if we need you."
As the doctor left the room, Cody pulled free of the father's grasp and moved the chair closer to the bed, settling in for the long night ahead.
/
"Cody!" Matt's yelled startled his father, who had been dozing in the comfortable recliner chair next to his son's bed. Jesse stood up quickly and settled easily onto the bed, reaching out a hand and setting it on the back of Matt's neck.
"Easy, Matthew. Don't move around too much, you'll pull the stitches."
Matt had woken up with a start, obviously startled from a nightmare. His eyes darted around the room. When he didn't see his brother, he tried to push himself up. "Cody...where's Cody?" he asked anxiously. "Is Cody okay?"
"Your brother's fine. He just went down to grab some breakfast."
"The bear...Cody...CODY!"
"Shhh, son, your brother is fine. He wasn't there. It wasn't Cody, Matt." Jesse rubbed the back of Matt's head and his neck, hoping to calm his on down. But nothing seemed to work. Matt was agitated and he kept trying to get up, his eyes continuously moving, searching for his brother. "Matt, you have to listen to me, your brother is fine. Cody is okay."
Jesse wrapped his other hand around Matt's wrist, concerned that his pulse was racing so fast and his breathing was so ragged.
"Matt, son, you have to calm down. Settle down, boy. Everything is okay. No one else got hurt. Cody is fine. Matt, please, son…" But Matt continue to squirm and call out for his brother. Jesse was just about to push the call button for the nurse to give Matt a sedative, but his fingers halted at the call behind him.
"Dad?" Jesse jerked his head around and blew out a relieved breath.
"Cody! Get over here!" he ordered.
Cody quickly set down the drinks and food in his hands and rushed to his father's side. Jesse stood up and pulled Cody toward the bed. "Matt thinks you were hurt by that bear. He keeps calling out for you."
Cody understood and quickly took over where Jesse had left off. He sat in the chair, pulling it right up next to his brother's bed. Wrapping his hand around the wrist his father had released, he moved his face close to his brother's. "Matt, I'm here. Open your eyes, big brother. Look at me. I'm fine, I'm okay, Matty."
He rubbed his thumb across the underside of Matt's wrist, while the fingers of his other hand kept pushing through Matt's sweaty hair. "Matt, come on, look at me." He could see Matt's eyes still moving, but not focusing on what was right in front of him. "MATT!"
The loud voice finally got through, just as a nurse pushed through the door. Jesse stopped her with a raised hand and Matt finally looked right at his brother. She whispered to Jesse that she'd call the doctor and slipped back into the hallway.
"Cody?" Matt whispered, staring at his little brother.
"Yeah, Matt, it's me."
Matt's hand weakly gripped the front of Cody's shirt, then traveled up his neck, and finally stopped when it landed on his face. "…okay…?"
"I'm fine, Matt. Just fine. I'm okay." Cody continued to push his fingers through Matt's hair, as the hand around his brother's wrist noticed that Matt's heartbeat was slowing down. "That's it, Matty, calm down. I'm here and I'm fine."
"Okay? Bear didn't hurt you?" Matt asked as he pulled his brother closer, until finally their foreheads touched. Cody stopped stroking Matt's hair and slid his hand under Matt's head to grip the back of his neck.
"No, the bear didn't hurt me. I'm okay. I'm safe." Cody didn't feel the need to remind Matt that he hadn't been there. It wasn't important. The only thing that Matt needed to know was that Cody was fine. Nothing else mattered right then. Nothing mattered except that Matt knew his brother was there and safe. Both boys closed their eyes but neither relaxed their grip on the other.
Jesse turned at the noise behind him. Doctor Hartman was watching the brothers, but not making a move to intrude. He touched Jesse on the arm and gestured with his head for the older man to follow him out into the hallway. Jesse took one last look toward his sons, then left the room, closing the door behind him.
"I'm glad Cody was able to calm him down," Dr. Hartman said as Jesse joined him. "I didn't want to have to sedate him again."
"Cody's good for him. I think Matt had a nightmare, thought Cody had been attacked by the bear. He was frantic."
Hartman nodded. "Hopefully, as we wean him off the heavy-duty pain killers, the nightmares will decrease. But I want to keep the morphine IV in for now. As he has increased time awake, he'll be feeling more pain. I want him to have the option to self-administer some pain relief if that happens."
"This is one of those things that patients can't overdose on, right?" Jesse asked.
"That's right. He'll be able to press the button for a dose if the pain gets too bad, but it will only administer a certain amount at a time and a limited number of doses per day. Each day, I'll lower the dose, and the number of times it will administer, until we can get him off the drip completely."
"How long?"
"Couple of days, three at the most I would think, barring any complications that set in. I'm optimistic that his fever came down so quickly. He'll have to be very careful about moving around, and not lie on his back or his right side. We'll continue to adjust his position from his stomach to his left side a couple of times a day to prevent bed sores."
"Any idea when he might be able to go home?" Jesse asked, glancing at the closed door.
"At least a week, maybe ten days. We'll see how the wounds are healing. I'd like to keep him here until we can get the stitches out of his leg. The back wounds are deeper, those will likely have to stay in a few days longer. But as long as he's careful, he should be able to go home with those still in."
Hartman gripped Matt's chart, which he carried in his hand. "I understand you and Cody live quite a ways up on the mountain."
"That's right."
"Will Matt be going home with you? Because I'm not sure it would be a good idea to have him so far from town, in case something happens."
"Matt has a place in Tahoe. We'll be staying there."
The doctor nodded, smiling. "Good. We'll talk more about what to expect and how to care for his wounds as he gets closer to discharge. In the meantime, just keep doing what you're doing. Let's head back in, I'll get some fresh vitals and then we can let him rest."
Jesse nodded and followed the doctor back into the room. Matt appeared to be asleep, while Cody had his eyes open, watching his brother and slowing running his thumb across the pulse point on Matt's wrist, still muttering softly to his older brother. "It's okay, Matt. I'm fine, I'm safe. Just rest. I'm okay."
"Cody." The younger brother looked up and smiled at his father.
"I think he's asleep," he whispered. Jesse smiled back.
"Doctor Hartman needs to check him. It won't take a minute."
Cody nodded and released his brother's wrist. When Matt started to stir at the lack of contact, the doctor grabbed Cody's hand and put it back on Matt's arm. "You're fine there, Cody. I'll work around you."
Cody settled back onto the chair, smiling as Matt calmed down again, aware even in his sleep that his brother was nearby.
/
Jesse looked up at the knock on the door of Matt's room. He smiled to see Aaron Bass poke his head in.
"Aaron, come on in," he said, setting down the newspaper he'd been reading.
The older man approached the bed. Matt appeared to be dozing. He wasn't sure if he wanted the boy to wake up or not. "How's he doing?"
"Much better. He got the stitches in his leg out this morning, as well as some of the ones in his back. The others will come out in a few days."
"Good, good."
Jesse watched his old friend, who appeared nervous and uncomfortable, staring at the young man in the bed. Matt was lying on his side, the blanket below his waist and his back covered in bandages. "Something on your mind, Aaron?" Jesse asked.
Aaron waved his hand toward Matt. "That bear really got him good."
Jesse glanced toward his son, then looked back at his friend. "Yeah, she did. But the doctor said that if it hadn't been for your care in cleaning and bandaging the wounds, Matt might have been worse off. The infection wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been if those wounds had gone untreated before he was brought in to the hospital." Jesse's gaze moved to the window, where he could see the peaks of the mountains he lived in. "Have I told you yet how grateful I am for what you did for my son?"
Aaron didn't reply right away, instead moved closer to the window. "He saved my Jen. I keep imagining those claw marks on her. That bear would have killed her."
Jesse stood up and walked over to stand beside his friend. Both men turned around to watch Matt, who was beginning to stir. "I know Matt would tell you that it was worth it. He would do anything to keep another from suffering like that."
"Jess...I want you to know...I...I have been such an idiot." He shook his head and turned his eyes to the floor, ashamed to look at his friend.
Jesse put a hand on the other man's shoulder. "Aaron..."
"No! No, Jesse. I am sorry...and I'll tell Matt when he wakes up...I was so wrong to treat him like I have all these years...I thought... when he left with Jackie..." Aaron was having a difficult time articulating exactly what he wanted to say.
Jesse leaned against the windowsill, and crossed his arms in front of him. "Why did you?"
The old man shook his head. He briefly looked Jesse's way, then turned and faced the window. He felt claustrophobic being in town, with all the people around. He longed to return to his mountain, but had forced himself to stay near the hospital until he got the chance to speak to Matt.
"It takes a certain kind of person to live up there," he began, gesturing with is chin toward the mountain peaks. "Jackie...I never thought she belonged...didn't fit in."
Jesse nodded. "Yeah, in the end, I think you're right about that," he agreed.
"I wasn't really surprised when she left, Jesse. In a way, I was almost glad. I know it was selfish of me, but with her gone, I hoped that you would come over more often. And you did, but...but you were so hurt that she'd gone...that Matt was gone..." He glanced over his shoulder at the man in the bed. "I hated that your boy had been a cause of all that pain I saw in you. It reminded me of how I was when my Jen died."
"Matt was just being a good son to his mom," Jesse insisted.
"Yeah, I know you're right. I...and I know I was wrong to take my dislike of Jackie out on the boy. You...I always thought that him leaving hurt you worse than Jackie."
"It did," Jesse told him, quietly. "Jackie and I...we had drifted apart. I knew she didn't like it in the mountains, wanted to be closer to town. And I admit, I was hurt when Matt decided to go with her. I thought he loved the mountains. Never thought he'd voluntarily leave them...leave me. He told me once that his mom needed him, that I didn't. I think I understand why he thought that, but he was so wrong. I did need him. But I also wanted him to know that I respected his decision. And I tried to make sure that he knew that I loved him and that he would always be welcome with me. But that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. And it doesn't mean that I ever stopped wondering why he really made that choice."
"Because I needed to be sure." Both men jumped at the soft voice coming from the bed.
Jesse hurried back to Matt's side, putting a hand on his shoulder to keep him from moving around.
"Sure of what, son?"
"That I was really yours...that you really wanted me."
"Matt, what are you...?"
"You and mom were arguing," Matt interrupted. "She said that you questioned whether I was really your son." Jesse guiltily looked over this shoulder at Aaron. "She said that Aaron made you wonder if I was really yours or not." Aaron's face turned red in shame. "I always figured that's why Aaron hated me, because he didn't think I was your son."
"Oh, Mathew," Jesse cried, pulling the chair up to the bed and leaning close, wrapping one hand around the back of Matt's neck.
"I know, now, that it was stupid. But at the time, I just... I wanted to see if you would fight for me, would insist that I stay, like you did with Cody."
Jesse hung his head down, his forehead briefly touching the bed, before looking back to his son. "Oh, Matt, I let you down, didn't I?" Jesse could feel the tears fighting for release. "I wanted to give you the room to make such a big decision for yourself and NOT force my own opinion on you. I wanted you to know that I respected the young man you were becoming. And instead I gave you the impression that I didn't care."
He began running his fingers through the blond hair at the back of Matt's neck. "Your mom and I, we had our share of arguments over the years. And I won't deny that there was one brief, very brief, time when I thought the she might have cheated on me. But son, I never really doubted that you were mine. Yes, I did tell her that, not long after you were born, but I think it was more about me being an idiot and trying to hurt her, than actually believing that you weren't mine. You know how stubborn I can be. Hell, you are just like me. You are your father's son."
Matt's eyes, still dulled by residual pain, stared into his father's, wanting the honest truth, needing the truth. And finding it in the clear blue eyes of the man who raised him, the man he had always adored and tried to emulate. The man who's opinion he valued above anyone else's. He smiled and nodded, accepting the words and finally, finally knowing that his father had no doubts that Matt was his son.
Aaron watched all this from his perch near the window, feeling lower than dirt. He remembered the conversations he'd had with Jesse about his wife. He remembered putting the thoughts into Jesse head that maybe Jackie wasn't as faithful as her husband thought she was. He'd seen Jackie hugging a man once while he was in town and she'd brought the boys down to see their father at the Ranger Station.
Aaron had been eating lunch in a restaurant while he waiting for some repairs to be done on his truck. Jackie had walked in alone. She'd gone directly to a table in the back. The man sitting there had stood up and they had hugged, then sat down to share lunch. Aaron had never liked Jackie. Part of that was due to the fact that she had never been shy about voicing her dislike of living so isolated in the mountains.
But if he was honest with himself...and sometimes he found that difficult...he knew that he was also envious that Jackie, who hated living on the mountain, was still alive, while his beloved Jen, who thrived in the quiet hills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains, had died several years before. After Jackie left and as he got older, he knew that he could never voice those thoughts to Jesse for fear that his dearest friend...his surrogate son...would abandon him.
It had been only recently, when his granddaughter had come to live with him that he began examining his life and regretting some of the things he'd said and done. His greatest shame had been the small part he'd played in the break-up of Jesse's marriage. Oh, he had no illusions that it likely would have occurred anyway. Even Jesse admitted that, even though they still loved each other, it was best that they lived apart. That didn't lessen the guilt that Aaron felt.
He cleared his throat and approached the bed. Both Jesse and Matt looked up at him.
"Um, Matt, uh...first, I just wanted to say, thank you. You saved my Jenny and I will be forever grateful for that." When Matt started to speak, Aaron just held up his hand. "I know you'll tell me that you were just doing your job, or that anyone would have done that. And that may be true. But the fact is that you did it. You saved her life. And you were injured doing it."
"You're welcome," Matt replied. "I'm glad she's okay."
"Me too...me too. Matt..." Aaron briefly closed his eyes, hating himself for hemming and hawing. "I hope you can forgive an old man for being so selfish and so petty for so many years." Confused, Matt exchanged a look with his father, who shrugged his shoulders. Matt turned his attention back to Aaron as the man continued.
"I've made some mistakes in my life, Matt. One of my worst was allowing my grief and loneliness to turn to anger and bitterness. I turned into a stubborn and grouchy old man who...well, I am ashamed of how I've treated you. You're the son of my closest and dearest friend. And my anger at your mother for leaving him, well I'm ashamed for taking that anger out on you."
"Why did you?" Matt asked.
A rueful smile slid across Aaron's lips. "Frankly, because you were here, and she wasn't."
"And now? That couldn't be the only reason. Because it's not just me you're angry at, it's all of the Rangers. It's like we became enemy number one when dad retired."
Aaron nodded. He knew this would take a while, and Matt looked uncomfortable having to twist he head to look up at Aaron, so the older man pulled a second chair over and sat down next to Jesse.
"When Jesse moved up here, my wife was still alive, but she was already very sick. We only had one child, a daughter, who was away at college.I met Jesse one day while I was out hunting. He'd only been here a few weeks, fresh out of the Marines and back from Vietnam. He wanted to be as far away from people as he could get. But he allowed me and Jennifer to befriend him. He became not only a friend," he said, turning to look at Jesse, "but a member of the family, the son we never had."
Jesse smiled in return. It was obvious that he felt the same way.
"When you left," Aaron continued, turning his gaze back to Matt, "Jesse was in a lot of pain. It reminded me of when my daughter left. She and I had stopped speaking long before that and when she died, we had just begun to communicate again. I hated that Jesse, that my son, was having to go through it, too. I'd always accused my daughter of deserting us. I guess...well, I felt you'd done the same to Jesse."
"Aaron..."
Once again, Aaron raised a hand to silence Jesse. "I know, Jess, you didn't think that. You were so proud of Matt, that he'd made such a selfless decision to be with his mom."
Matt's eyes shot toward his father, an action not missed by either man. "You didn't know that, did you, Matt? Your dad...he used to boast how proud he was of the man you were turning into. He knew that it wasn't easy for you to leave the mountain, to leave him and Cody, but you did it for your mom. As much as he missed you, he understood why you did it and respected you for it. That didn't mean it didn't hurt."
Matt's eyes turned sad, causing Jesse to lean forward and kiss him on the forehead. "It was bad all the way around, Matthew. No one got off unscathed. Not you or Cody, not your mom or me. But we came to forgive each other and were able to still have a close and loving family. And that was all due to you and Cody. If it had been up to your mother and me, we probably never would have spoken again. But because you and Cody wanted to still be together, we were forced to talk and spend time together. It wasn't always easy, but we made it work, the four of us."
"Yeah, we did, didn't we?" Matt said, smiling. But when he turned to Aaron, the smile left his face. "But, what I don't understand is your animosity toward the Rangers. Dad started the team, why would you hate them so much?"
"Because you keep bringing those damn noisy machines up here!" Aaron said. "Helicopters, snowmobiles, radios...humph...nothing but noise!"
Matt and Jesse just looked at each other, then both burst out laughing, although the movement caused the stitches to pull on Matt's back, he still chuckled at the thought that all the time they thought Aaron hated them, he just hated all the modern equipment they used because it disrupted the quiet of his beloved mountain.
"That's progress, Aaron," Jesse remarked. "I would have loved to have all that stuff when I was in charge of the Rangers."
"Humph," was Aaron's only reply.
/
EPILOGUE
Aaron and Jesse sat beside each other in a couple of the half dozen Adirondack chairs on the back porch of the High Mountain Ranger station, both of them nursing a cup of coffee. It had been two months since the bear attack and the Rangers were throwing a party in honor of Matt's return to command. He would officially take over again the next morning, so the Rangers had decided to celebrate with a barbeque.
Matt would still have to take it easy for a while and not participate in any rescues, since he was still undergoing physical therapy to strengthen the muscles that had been damaged in his back and shoulders. But he had been growing restless just sitting at home and so decided to return part-time, as long as he didn't do any physical activity. He would be strictly in supervisory mode.
And since all of this Rangers were aware of the limitations imposed on their Commander, they would keep a close eye on him and not let him return to full field duty until the doctors deemed him completely recovered. And each of them, over the course of the day, had made it known to Matt that he would be under strict scrutiny.
The barbeque had grown when the local Fire Department, Police Department and Sheriff's Office found out about it. Off-duty personnel had been called at home and began arriving with extra grills, beer coolers, picnic tables and the like. On-duty first responders would stop in as they could between calls to grab a bite and welcome Matt back to work.
The High Mountain Rangers had a good reputation in the area, and each of those agencies had called on the Rangers for assistance in the past. And the Rangers had called on them for mutual aid at times as well. Emergency personnel were a close knit group, no matter where they worked, and knew that often their lives depended on others from neighboring agencies.
Dr Hartman and the nurses and other doctors who had cared for Matt while he was in the hospital had also been invited and Jesse could see some of them mixing with the local firefighters and law enforcement personnel.
"So, Mr. Bass, it's nice to see you down off that mountain," Frank Avila said as he sat down on the top step nearby, leaning against the railing and taking a sip from his Pepsi can.
"Don't get used to it, boy. I'm only here for Matt."
Frank and Jesse exchanged grins. "The Rangers want to thank you for taking such good care of our boss, Mr. Bass. If it hadn't been for you, he might have died out there."
Aaron just grunted, with a sour look on his face, as he usually did. Then Jesse slapped him on the arm. Aaron frowned at the other man, then sighed.
"You're welcome."
Jesse laughed. "Now, see, that wasn't so hard, was it?"
Aaron just grunted again, causing the others to laugh as Frank left to join his fellow Rangers again. The two men finished their coffee as an impromptu game of touch football started up, each side consisting of a mix of policeman, fireman, Rangers and hospital personnel. Over the next hour, players cycled in and out of the game, some leaving to take a breather, some to grab another burger or hotdog.
Matt trudged up the stairs of the porch and dropped down in the chair next to his father.
Aaron leaned forward and looked him over with a critical eye. "You doing okay, boy?" he asked.
"I'm fine, Mr. Bass. Just needed a break."
"You be sure not to over-do it," he grunted. "And… and call me Aaron."
Matt raised an eyebrow, then turned a questioning, and shocked, glance at his father, who just smiled behind his coffee cup, as he raised it to take another drink.
"Uh, thanks…Aaron. I'll make sure to take it easy. I don't want to work the desk any longer than I have to."
"Good. Good. You be sure to do that. We need you back in those mountains, doing your job."
Matt smiled. "And I can't wait to get back there." He leaned back in his seat, accepting a cup of coffee from Jennifer, who then sat down on the deck beside her grandfather and watched the festivities.
Jesse finished his coffee and set the cup down on the deck. He leaned back, laced his fingers together and took a deep breath of fresh mountain air. He was content. The day was beautiful, his sons and the Rangers were enjoying themselves, and his closest friend was nearby. It didn't get any better than this.
THE END