Chapter 4

She could barely believe what she'd just heard. Here she was, standing opposite of the boy she'd desperately fallen in love with – the same one who just confessed having the same feelings in return for her. It had to be a dream, that was the only explanation for it. No matter how much she'd longed to hear those words from his lips for the past days, this couldn't possibly be real.

It had all gone so quickly… The day she founded him still seemed like yesterday, even though it'd been an entire month now. However, all conversations they had held during those thirty days, mostly during Healing sessions, were still printed in her mind as if they'd just been held. She could recall them almost literally. When had it begun that she was caring so much about him? Maybe already from the moment she decided to save him instead of leaving him to die. Maybe that choice of hers back then had been a sign…

In the mean while, Rong had developed a fierce blush on his cheeks, and she couldn't help it but smile as soon as she'd noticed that. He was shy! Of course, she knew perfectly why – he was expecting a reaction, either an acceptation or rejection of his confession. He wouldn't leave before she'd given him either one of them. For her, it was a reason to remain silent, even though it was extremely silly. After all, ever second with him while she was aware of his feelings was a precious treasure to her. She wanted to gather as many of those treasures as she could before he had to leave. Then, she'd have something left to cherish, and not just her heart ache. She didn't just want to remember the pain of separation: she wanted to remember the happiness she was experiencing now more than anything else. But then again, she knew he had to be in tension right now, and that it was a pain to him. No, no matter how much she wanted him to stay, she couldn't keep silent just because of that. She could ease his pain with her response, and thus, she looked up at him. "Rong…" she started, but she fell silent after that. It was harder to say it than she had imagined, even though she knew it couldn't hurt her now he confessed first. She touched the pendant stone against her neck in order to gain some courage, and she smiled dreamily. By tradition, the man giving the choker had to carve the pendant by himself, but it was hard to believe that Rong, an absolute beginner, could actually have carved such a complex symbol all by himself. Either he'd had help, or he'd done everything in his power to make it for her. She liked to believe the last thing.

"Rong, I… I don't know what to say, really," she eventually and truthfully whispered "All I know is… is that I've longed to hear those words from you for so long…" She felt how sudden tears dripped on her cheeks now, and she knew what they were doing there. Her answer also contained words of goodbye – she did everything she could to avoid using 'farewell' rather than goodbye.

She noticed how Rong, in the mean while, was shamelessly gazing at her, with eyes shimmering of expectations. She had to be strong now, for both of their sakes. She swallowed her tears away, lifted her head and finally dared to look into his eyes. "I'm in love with you, too," she finally confessed, with a strong and clear voice for a change. It didn't remain as strong and clean, though, as she added: "and I h-hate it you have to l-leave…" She wasn't able anymore to hold back her tears, and instead of sweeping them away, she let them roll and fell in Rong's arms.

He immediately wrapped them around her and pressed her against his chest. He wasn't exactly gentle, but she couldn't be bothered by that. All she wanted now was him, as close to her as possible, and that was precisely what she'd gotten now. "Sakari… this makes me so happy…"

"Shut up," she whispered, grabbing his shirt with a sob. "Shut up… it'll only end in words of goodbye, and I don't want to hear those…"

"Ssh…" He caressed her hair, embraced her even tighter.

And they both remained silent.

How long had it been until he'd let go of her? Five minutes, five days perhaps? She couldn't tell. All she knew was that she was trembling on her legs as he'd let her go. She couldn't say a thing, and Rong didn't seem capable to find the right words for this situation either. They just stood there, sharing intense looks with one another. Eventually, Sakari thought of something to say – and a deep red blush appeared on her cheeks as the thought passed her mind.

"Eh… Sakari?"

"It's nothing, just leave it."

But he wasn't going to 'leave it', she noticed that soon enough. "You can tell me, girl. Or don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do!"

"Then spit it out."

She sighed, softly cleared her throat before she began to speak. "Well, ehm… taken that we're in love and all… wouldn't it be appropriate if we'd… y'know… kiss…?" She'd expected everything as a possible reaction, except for what really happened: he started to chuckle. "W-what?" She was rather insulted, as it had taken her a lot of courage to speak up.

"For some reason, saying it like that is so typically you," he eventually said, "come here."

Before she realized what was going on, he'd gently grabbed her shoulders and bent over to her. The next moment, she closed her eyes in an impulse, and she felt his soft breath stroking her cheek for a second or two. Then, his lips found hers in an intense, fierce, and yet immensely tender and sweet kiss. She was almost swept off her feet by it, and held on to him as tightly as she could, enjoying the moment.

Kissing her was a dream coming true, and in the same time, a nightmare. It was literally kissing her goodbye, and that fact really messed up his feelings right now. He held her as long as he could, kissed her over and over again. Goodbye or not, this was what he wanted to do for quite a while now. Sakari… Did she even realize how much she meant to him? "Sakari, I love you," he whispered in her ear. He hardly even noticed he was talking out loud as he thought that, and he didn't mind that either. She just had to know – it was as perfectly simple as that. To his joy, he noticed how she was still blushing, but smiling now, too.

"I… Y-you too," she softly whispered, skipping the most essential word, as she leant against him. That that one word was missing couldn't bother him. Why, why was she so sweet? It'd only make him miss her even more, if that was actually possible.

They both refused to let each other go, but eventually, he couldn't take it any longer as his arms had gotten too heavy. Saying goodbye wasn't the thing they wanted to do now, but they both felt they didn't have a choice.

At last, he turned away from her and put his mask back on. It felt strange, wearing a mask that covered his face again after a month of freedom in that aspect.

"Good luck," Sakari softly whispered, "and swear me you'll return here once war is over."

"If possible, sooner," he promised, grabbing her hands in an impulse and bringing them to his lips. He realized too late he'd forgotten about the mask already, touched as he was by Sakari's sad face. He quickly compromised by laying her hands against his mask for a second before letting them go. "Be aware of talk, Sakari. I have already told you what my explanation will be to the others."

"I know," she nodded, swallowing with difficulty. "Now, please go… I don't want to see you off with tears in my eyes."

They embraced each other one more time before Rong eventually opened the door, reluctant as he was to do that. Just before walking through it, he looked at the girl standing in the middle of the room. "Goodbye, my dear Sakari."

"G-goodbye…"

It didn't escape him that she sadly bent her head, but he decided this wasn't the time to turn around anymore. He left without looking back – he just had to if he truly wanted to keep her safe. But his heart ached as he shut the door behind him… and it ached even more as he watched through the window by accident when he passed it on his way out. Sakari was close to crying her heart out.

It took her a long while to get a grip of herself and make her tears to stop, and she eventually dried the last ones of them. She held on to the pendant that was hanging on her choker. It comforted her, but it wasn't enough to cheer her up. Rong's departing had left a dark, empty space in her heart, in despite of their confessions. In fact, knowing he loved her was even harder than not knowing now they were parted like this.

She knew one thing for sure: she'd continue wearing her choker and she'd wait for him, even if it would take another century of war. Rong was out of sight, but as her first true love, he'd never be out of her heart. Even though they'd only spent a mere month together, she'd fallen in love for all the years to come. She was absolutely positive about that.

As usual in her daily routine now, she visited her parents in the sickbay late that afternoon. Her mother was to busy cleaning to even notice she'd entered, but her father immediately walked towards his daughter as soon as he saw her.

"Sakari! I'm ready to get back home now," he smiled, "it took a while, but I'm finally back to perfect health now. I'll even have a week off from military duty!"

"Really? I'm glad," Sakari smiled, trying to look as cheerful as she possible could. But dark thoughts clouded her mind, and she knew her smile would seem fake to anyone who knew her a little. She couldn't help thinking: 'you got off, but what about Rong? Why didn't he…?'

And thus, it wasn't for long that her father didn't notice something about her. "Sakari, what's the matter with you?" he now remarked. "Has it got anything to do with that betrothal necklace that's suddenly around your neck? I can't remember giving any guy permission to ask you and give that to you."

"Oh! Eh… it's just a gift… from a friend," she quickly said. It was the truth, after all – even though she considered Rong as much more than a friend.

Her father gave her a closer look, grabbed her shoulders. "Taken the facts you've accepted it and are now wearing it, even in front of your parents, I'd say he's much more to you than a friend. I'm right, aren't I?"

She didn't answer to that, she just couldn't. Of course he was right, but if she confessed, she'd most likely have to tell who this particular 'friend' might be. And she couldn't just yet. In fact, she wasn't sure if she actually ever could with this ongoing war of the Fire Nation.

While she was pondering that over, her father was studying the stone pendant closely, and he suddenly gasped. "M… Sakari," he finally said, "the rumours of you keeping a firebender in our house… I never doubted their truth, you know that? Since you've never expressed hatred against the firebenders, unlike any other girl in our Tribe."

She quickly tore herself loose from his grip and covered the stone with her hand, knowing she was already too late for that. Her father had seen the carved symbol on it already and had drawn his conclusions. But even though he knew almost for sure know, Sakari still didn't dare to confess it.

Her father grabbed her hands at that moment and forced her to look into his eyes, no matter how much she tried to avoid that. "Don't deny it," he whispered, "and don't worry I'll spread the word, because I won't. You're my only child, Sakari, and the only daughter I'll ever have. I want to see you happy, and if you can only be happy with a firebender who's stolen your heart… then so be it. If he took the effort to learn our Tribes customs, despite of their war against us, and made you such a beautiful necklace, I can't doubt his integrity."

Sakari could merely gaze at her father after that speech. His words would have made her the happiest girl on the planet… if only they'd been of any use for her. Because even with her father's approval, Rong was still gone and out of reach. There was no way she could be together with him, necklace and permission or not.

Rong could only gaze at the village he'd lived in for a month as he was enduring a lecture of the admiral in the mean while. Where had he been, why hadn't he responded to calls, why did he took side of the waterbenders in the first place? The lecture seemed endless, but eventually, it was ended. He realized he was supposed to answer the questions asked now, and he chose his words carefully.

"I didn't take side – I only refused to take part in killing innocent children," he calmly said. "And I have already been punished for it by a fellow firebender. That harshly, in fact, that it'd probably have killed me if I hadn't been saved by a girl of the Water Tribe."

At that point, the admiral burst out laughing. "As if a Water Tribe girl would save the life of a firebender, for crying out loud!"

"She was naïve enough to think I was against the war when she saw me helping those children." It took a lot of effort to say such a lie with a straight face, especially as he continued. "She even was as crazy as Healing me back to full health during the month I've been away. She hid me in her house, which explains why I had no idea you were missing me. I simply figured you'd think I was dead."

"Fine, fine. And how did you get out?"

"She simply let me go as soon as I was cured." It was all true, except for the fact he hadn't experienced it the way he had just described it. He had never considered Sakari being a stupid, naïve girl. No, he respected her for her strength, her courage to stand up for him and the help she'd given him. He respected her that much that he'd fallen head over heels in love with her, but he conveniently left out that part. If something would get the both of them in trouble, it would be telling that to a Fire Nation admiral.

That same admiral was grinning now. "Unbelievable! Anyway, no one would make such a crazy story like this up, so I can't do anything but believe you. You're thus excused for your absence – that is, if you join the navy again."

"Of course." 'I hate it,' he added to that in his thoughts, 'but I have no choice. Anything to prevent disaster from striking her…'

"Sakari!"

She looked up in surprise as she left the sickbay. Her parents would follow her home in the evening, as she was excused from helping her mother cleaning her father's stuff back at the sickbay. Her surprise was quickly replaced by something that resembled a slight happiness. "Sedna? What are you doing here?"

"Because I was worried about you," Sedna shrugged, "Balto mentioned something about Rong leaving today, so I thought… Hold a second! Is that a betrothal necklace?!" she interrupted herself with a loud scream.

Sakari sighed: she could have expected that to happen. After all, Balto was Sedna's fiancé as well as close to Rong. Almost like a brother, actually. "Yes, it is a necklace, although I'm not betrothed," she answered Sedna's shout. "Rong made it for me, as a sort of goodbye gift."

"Rong did?" Sedna said, in the utmost surprise. She carefully touched the stone, but then shook her head. "No, I just can't believe that… He's only a beginner to our Tribe's customs! Geesh, he must really be head over heels for you to make this!"

"I know," Sakari said with a sad smile. "He told me he is this 'noon, right before he left."

"And?"

"And what?"

Sedna sighed at the naivety of her best friend, eventually petted her head as if she couldn't help it, either. "And – what happened next? Did he hug you, give you a sweet kiss on your cheek?"

"Even better, he kissed my lips," Sakari said. Despite of her misery, she could smile with a dreamy look in her eyes thinking back of that moment. After all, it had been her perfect first kiss…

Sedna had completely freaked out now and was shouting in response. "No! He did not! Really, though?!"

"Sedna, stop acting so psyched," Sakari sighed, "there's nothing to be so happy about, as I probably won't see him anymore until this stupid war is over…"

"Sakari, listen to me," Sedna now said, with a serious look on her face for a moment. "Rong's not the type to just randomly kiss girls, I just know he isn't. You must really mean a lot to him, girl, and I'm not just saying that to cheer you up. I'm sure he'll try anything to meet with you, far before this war is over."

"I can only hope you're right," Sakari whispered, but her heart had cheered up a bit.

"I said no way!"

"Why are you so reluctant to attack this Water Tribe?" the admiral remarked, as Rong averted his head from him after his command. He'd told him the same thing many times over, but the young warrior kept refusing. "I thought you said you wanted to be a part of our navy for real now!"

"Why should that include attacking people?" Rong responded. "Why can't we take over their nation in another way if we have to take it over that badly?"

"Because there is no other way," the admiral sighed, "I find your reaction to this disturbing, to say the least, firebender! Has something happened between you and that Water Tribe girl, perhaps?"

Rong was suddenly incredibly glad he had a mask to hide his face, which was probably as red as a beetroot from embarrassment by now. Of course something had happened: he'd fallen in love with her, for heaven's sake! And it wasn't just an average teenage-crush; it simply didn't feel that way. Merely thinking of her made his heart already ache, an ache he wanted to stop as well to continue, as it would remind him of her. Actually, every single thing with the slightest connection to her reminded him of his times with her. It didn't really help he was on a ship right now with water all around him and, not to forget, her Tribe near. In fact, if he wanted to see her, he only had to get off the ship and run to her house… If only it could be that easy. But he had to lie about everything right now for his own good. "No, sir," he thus said, "nothing happened as I didn't give her the opportunity for something to happen."

"So she wanted you?" the admiral now grinned, as if that was the best joke of the century. "Such a joker you are! Anyway, no more words about this issue anymore now. You'll be attacking the Water Tribe this 'noon, whether you like it or not, and that's the end of this discussion. Got that?"

"Yes, sir," Rong muttered. He turned to the other end of the ship now, the end with a view on the Northern Water Tribe. He thought about things concerning the Tribe, but certainly not about how to attack it.

"Please be careful this time," Sakari almost begged her father as he was preparing to take off for fight. They had promised him a free week, but apparently, they needed everyone they could get now. She wondered why she hadn't been asked – if they needed every single person they could get… She almost felt angry, even though she knew she should be happy she was never punished for waterbending.

Her father noticed her anger and quickly hugged her for a moment, just before giving her a confident smile. "Don't worry, Sakari. I knew this could happen, so I was prepared for it. We'll attack the Fire Nation as soon as the moon's out, when we're at our strongest. They won't be expecting a thing and they'll be helpless – we may finally push them back to where they've come from."

"I know," Sakari whispered, bending her head. She couldn't possibly say what she really wanted to say: 'please don't kill them, it could be Rong…' She worried about him as much as she worried about her father, or perhaps even more. After all, her father had more experience in fighting and on top of that, he'd be fighting when the moon was out. Waterbenders' strength increased with the rising of the moon, while firebenders' powers weakened at the same time.

Her worries weren't unnoticed by her father once more, and he gently laid a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry too much about him either, girl," he softly said, to prevent that her mother in the same room was able to hear him. "You saved his life, remember? He'll treasure it, he won't give it up that easily."

At that point, Sakari's mother interrupted them with the message she had some cleaning to do in the rest of the house, and she took of to the bedroom.

Sakari smiled a bit now. "I know…. Thanks, dad."

"Don't think I don't know what it's like to be in love, because I do," he now told her. "Twenty years ago, I fell in love with your mother, and I still am."

With that sentence, a question rose in Sakari's mind. It had been there for a long while, as she'd always wondered the same thing – it just never seemed to match. That question was now finally asked. "What made you choose my mother?"

Her father sighed at that, but eventually smiled. "Because she was the girl she was, and still is. It's as simple as that. I know what you wanted to say – we're total opposites, and that's true. But maybe that's just what attracts me in her."

So it could be simple. She didn't need any complicated reasons for liking Rong the way she did, and it wasn't odd she had fallen in love with him because she admired him for whom he was and how he treated her. It was a relief, for some reason. Her motives to love him were plausible.

He found it far beyond unfair, attacking a nation without giving them a proper notice of it first. But he only received one and the same reaction on his comments: 'everything is fair in love and war.' Complete nonsense, he found that now even more than before. He felt he would betray the few friends he'd finally gained: his dear Sakari, Sedna and of course Balto. He'd started to consider the last one as the older brother he'd always longed for ever since he was a little kid, even though they didn't know each other for that long. All he could hope for now was that he didn't have to face him in this battle.

It didn't take a long while before the 'surprise' part of their surprise attack had faded away. Waterbenders were on their guard and came out of every nook and cranny as soon as they saw the Fire Nation soldiers. Rong knew he was probably the stronger one with the sun still out, but he couldn't help it – he got scared as the waterbenders tried to strike him. He hated fighting, and feared for his life: he'd rather be on the safe side. He hadn't let Sakari safe his life only to spill it in a worthless fight against her people! But in order to live, he had to fight. If not, he'd probably end up being killed by either the waterbenders or his own people. He had no choice: he had to do what he'd always hated most.

And he hated it even more as he saw his opponent's face.

He tried to act in a normal way, knowing there was no way he'd be recognized by him in return. After all, he was still wearing his mask. 'Why him?' he couldn't help thinking. 'Why, out of all waterbending males of this Tribe?' Once again, he had no choice, as the numbers on both sides were even. Just attacking another one would therefore not really work if he didn't want to get hit by him first. But he knew his own powers, and he knew they could be lethal. More lethal than water, even though the powers of water shouldn't be underestimated. Fire however was more direct and instant if lethal, and he didn't want to risk killing him. Not the guy he'd started to consider as his brother – not Balto.

"Bring it on, fireguy," Balto suddenly said, summoning water, "I can take you down this very instant. Why can't you people leave us in peace? Why should you take over this place? All I want is a happy life with the woman I love here!"

"You're not the only one with that wish," Rong remarked, but he realized his voice sounded differently through the mask than it normally did. And indeed, his voice wasn't recognized by his opponent – and that same opponent was infuriated.

"Oh, right! As if another nation has been trying to kill you and your people for over a century! You can live in peace if you want to, so quit nagging!"

"But I meant that I wanted to live here with her!" he shouted in an impulse: an impulse he should have had suppressed.

The waterbender was beyond himself now, and hastily attacked him. "Shut up! SHUT UP!"

"But it's me!" Rong shouted, dodging the water, "don't you recognize me?"

"Shut your trap and fight me like a man!"

He knew he had no choice: it was getting obvious now to others that he was reluctant to fight, and the admiral had already warned him for that. No fight, no pay – and no life. But he didn't want to attack the guy who was like a brother to him, who was more or less becoming Sakari's brother-in-law. He had to do something, though, and thus, he decided to attack – but miss. It was his only chance to be loyal and yet save his friend's life.

However, it didn't turn out the way he wanted to. The fire beam he sent missed his target indeed and went left of him… right at the moment a girl ran towards Balto, with cloaks and a first aid kit.

"Hey, Balto, I…. aaaah!" The fire beam had hit her right in the chest, and she collapsed before Rong fully realized what was going on and whom he had hit.

P.S.: What about the name of Balto? I gave him a name as he got a bigger role than I originally intended... But feel free to comment on it, please!