Potter Goes Wonky - chapter 4, WeasLing out of it.
Narrator: Here we are, still at Hogwarts and a secret Rendez-vous is going on betwen two of the students.....
Ginny: Bloody hell its cold - now where could he be!
Narraor: Yup, Little Ginny Weasly is meeting up with her boyfriend. Aw, how cute.
Ginny: Hurry up, Vincent!
Narrator: Vincent? Hang on a sec - Vincent as in VINCENT CRABBE?
Crabbe: Yoo-hoo! Ginny! I am over heeerrre!
Ginny: Vincie-kins! Finaly - I have been waiting for about 10 minutes!
Crabbe: Sorry Snookiebum, I was trying to decide what flowers I should bring you. *produces a bouquet of.....Dandelions?*
Ginny: Oh Vincie-kins! You really.....shouldnt have. *Takes the bouquet, gingerly*
Narrator: HAH HA HAAAA! WHAT A GREAT A GAG! GINGERLY - GET IT? Because Ginny is ginger...oh never mind.....tough room....Anyway, suddenly the sickeningly grotesque pairing hear a noise and look round the corner, and who should they see but wee Proff Flitwick carrying someting that looks oddly...pointy....
Flitwick: Uh-oh! I do hope no students are out here canoodling, the game will be up for me!
Pointy thing: I will be disgraced!! Oh woe, woe is me!
Flitwick: Shut up, Leroy!
Ginny: Uh-oh Vincie-kins! We better hide in this broom cuboard in case Flitwick and his mate Leroy catch us!
Crabbe: Okay - I have wanted to get you alone in the broom cuboard for quite some time!
Ginny: *blushes*
Narrator: For full details of what goes on in the broom cuboard, contact a het-slash writer - this is a comedy, not a PWP!
Flitwick: *produces Leroy - oh my golly, its none other than the sorting hat!*
Leroy: Rawr - you turn me on, midget man!
Flitwick: Oh, how sad is the life of a hat fetishist! Its all I can bare not to take off my own hat and shag it - but a talking one?
Leroy (the sorting hat, in case you havnt worked that out yet): Yeah yeah - just as long as this makes sure those, compromising photographs are destroyed....
Flitwick: yes yes, now shut up and lets shag!
Narrator: You know what - lets just leave them to it - I may be forced to gouge out my eyes and rip off my ears if I have to pay attention to that any more! *runs away sobbing*
Narrator: Here we are, still at Hogwarts and a secret Rendez-vous is going on betwen two of the students.....
Ginny: Bloody hell its cold - now where could he be!
Narraor: Yup, Little Ginny Weasly is meeting up with her boyfriend. Aw, how cute.
Ginny: Hurry up, Vincent!
Narrator: Vincent? Hang on a sec - Vincent as in VINCENT CRABBE?
Crabbe: Yoo-hoo! Ginny! I am over heeerrre!
Ginny: Vincie-kins! Finaly - I have been waiting for about 10 minutes!
Crabbe: Sorry Snookiebum, I was trying to decide what flowers I should bring you. *produces a bouquet of.....Dandelions?*
Ginny: Oh Vincie-kins! You really.....shouldnt have. *Takes the bouquet, gingerly*
Narrator: HAH HA HAAAA! WHAT A GREAT A GAG! GINGERLY - GET IT? Because Ginny is ginger...oh never mind.....tough room....Anyway, suddenly the sickeningly grotesque pairing hear a noise and look round the corner, and who should they see but wee Proff Flitwick carrying someting that looks oddly...pointy....
Flitwick: Uh-oh! I do hope no students are out here canoodling, the game will be up for me!
Pointy thing: I will be disgraced!! Oh woe, woe is me!
Flitwick: Shut up, Leroy!
Ginny: Uh-oh Vincie-kins! We better hide in this broom cuboard in case Flitwick and his mate Leroy catch us!
Crabbe: Okay - I have wanted to get you alone in the broom cuboard for quite some time!
Ginny: *blushes*
Narrator: For full details of what goes on in the broom cuboard, contact a het-slash writer - this is a comedy, not a PWP!
Flitwick: *produces Leroy - oh my golly, its none other than the sorting hat!*
Leroy: Rawr - you turn me on, midget man!
Flitwick: Oh, how sad is the life of a hat fetishist! Its all I can bare not to take off my own hat and shag it - but a talking one?
Leroy (the sorting hat, in case you havnt worked that out yet): Yeah yeah - just as long as this makes sure those, compromising photographs are destroyed....
Flitwick: yes yes, now shut up and lets shag!
Narrator: You know what - lets just leave them to it - I may be forced to gouge out my eyes and rip off my ears if I have to pay attention to that any more! *runs away sobbing*