AN: I was so surprised to see the variety of notifications I received after my last chapter. I thank you all for taking interest in my story and I hope that you continue to do so as the fic progresses. And please remember, reviews are most appreciated by writers, we long to know what our audience thinks of our works.
Disclaimer: JKR owns.
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AN II [edit]: Hey guys, my FFNET account was being screwy so I had to repost this chapter (it was initially posted last night-about 13 hours ago), I'm sorry if you received the alert/notification twice.
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Chapter 4: Disheartening Revelations
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I felt my mind spinning uncontrollably. One glance at Ginny had been enough to cause an overwhelming vortex of memories to come hurtling my way. In a flash I felt my resolve weaken and my heart pound painfully within me. It was too much to bear. I could not believe what I had done.
James. Albus. Ginny. Our marriage. My fatherhood. The mission. It all came back to me with startling clarity. I felt something crawl up the walls of my stomach and into the back of my throat. I gaped at Ginny, my wife, who stood in front of me leaning forward in her seat. I must have looked ridiculous, gawking at her as if seeing her for the very first time.
"It's all a bit much, isn't it sir?" the nurse asked understandingly from my left.
I turned to look at her, my vision still noticeably blurred despite having my glasses on. I helplessly nodded as my mind swarmed with memories of Hermione and our previous encounter. Her heated kisses, my gentle caresses, our passionate lovemaking. I gasped for air. It had all been a misunderstanding, I finally realized. She had made sense of it before I had, fleeing from sight due to the gut-wrenching guilt it wreaked of, the very guilt that trickled down my veins and caused the stinging ache in my heart to persist.
I felt Ginny scoot closer to my bed, holding my hand gently. "Harry?" she asked softly, searching my eyes for some sign of recognition.
I smiled at her feebly, squeezing her hand within my own and bringing it to my lips as I kissed the tips of her delicate fingers.
"I came by the first night, the night they brought you in," she began, tears filling her eyes. "I couldn't stand to see you hurt, your body so lifeless. The kids wouldn't stop crying, they wanted to know if you would ever…wake up," she finished, a sob interrupting her anxious words.
I nodded, pulling her in for an embrace. Kissing her hair as she clung onto me, using the crook of her neck to muffle the strangled sounds that arose from deep inside my throat. She continued to sob unabashedly into my chest. And I sat beside her, still at a loss for words.
I noticed that the nurse had left to give us some privacy, and for once I was genuinely grateful for her courtesy.
Ginny pulled away from me slowly, pushing a loose strand of red hair behind her ear as she spoke,
"The doctors say we can check you out this afternoon. Your memory has been restored, and since you didn't suffer from any serious physical injuries, you should be healthy enough to return home,"
I nodded; glad to get out of the ruddy infirmary, which I finally realized had been St. Mungo's all along.
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And so I was finally out of the hospital. Ron had been dismissed the next day, after his ribcage had been properly healed, and his bones all grown back into place. As Ginny opened the door to our London home, James and Albus came hurtling my way, Molly in tow. She pulled me in for a motherly hug, patting my cheeks gently as if to make sure she wasn't just imagining my presence. I kissed her cheek softly and proceeded to stoop down and embrace my adoring sons. I couldn't believe that I had almost lost them, or rather the very precious memories of them I held close to my heart.
I still had not received word from Hermione, even a full two weeks after I rejoined my ranks at the Auror office. She seemed to be avoiding me at all costs and I wished to know what she was felt regarding our situation. Shame? Foolishness? Confusion? I couldn't quite pinpoint her distanced emotions and I felt extremely at loss because of it.
On my first day back at the office, I ran into a rather cheerful Ron Weasley who elatedly notified me that Hermione had called off all plans for a divorce and taken leave from work to spend more time with the children at home. He ranted on about how their marriage had never been better and that the kids never more overjoyed. I smiled at him halfheartedly, not knowing quite what to think. I suppose I was happy for Ron, but deep down inside, my feelings for Hermione simmered dangerously. I thought that with my marriage to Ginny, romancing Hermione had become a closed chapter. But a fortnight ago, the situation had proven otherwise; not to mention, Hermione seemed more than willing to return my feelings as I poured my heart out to her, not realizing the grave mistake we were making.
And so the week continued and I finally ran into Hermione at a Weasley lunch one humid afternoon at the Burrow, (which had been restored shortly after the war.) She spoke to me as if nothing had transpired between us, but I knew better than to fall victim to her guiles.
I could have sworn I saw a timid spark of desire flair up within her eyes as we spoke, but I was never for sure. Yet I remained convinced that our love was still present at hand.
Later that day, I forcefully sat her down in the orchard outside. But before I could even begin to speak, she glanced away from me and started bawling quietly to herself. I understood her suffering. We had both unknowingly committed a crime and I wondered weakly to my self what we had done to so unjustly become swamped into such a predicament.
I watched her cry, my heart beating forcefully within me as she drowned beside me in anguish. I longed to hold her close to myself as I had done so brazenly before. But I knew within me that she wouldn't dare to comply. Finally after several sobering minutes, she cleared her throat disparagingly and managed to speak to me as I sat across from her awkwardly on the other side of the bench.
I don't remember much of our conversation, other than that the few facts she made clear. She never wished to speak again of the matter or be reminded of it either. It had all been a mistake. And furthermore it would cause the demise of both of our families were it to become knowledgeable to our respective spouses.
She stood to take leave, and I stepped up shortly after her, daring to minimize the gap between us. She turned to look at me haltingly, her eyes full of an emotion I could not quite recognize.
"I will always love you, Harry James Potter," she finally murmured, her soft voice calming my mind as she leaned in and swiftly kissed the corner of my mouth. I felt a gentle rush of heat as warmth flowed into my cheeks and I glanced back up once again to only see her retreating figure. With that she was gone, walking away from me, down past the alcove of trees we had ventured beyond only minutes before.
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Another month had passed and more proof of Ron and Hermione's happy marriage came tumbling down my path. Hermione had announced that she was once again expecting and Ron was happier than words could even manage to describe. My heart thudded uneasily within me as I saw their love flourish and their children prosper. My relationship with Ginny had yet to be the same. But I still played the role of dutiful and loving husband, though my mind stubbornly refused to comply. It chose rather to revolve around Hermione and other miscellaneous thoughts concerning her. I couldn't quite manage for it to simply let the idea of her go.
It was those very overwhelming emotions that became the motivating factor behind Ginny and our family's move out to the country. Ron had been saddened at first, but understood that sometimes we all needed to take time out for ourselves and push aside the exhausting demands of life. With everything we had been through that year, our family deserved a much-needed break. Hermione stood beside Ron silent and motionless, a smile unconvincingly plastered across her face. And I wished with all my heart to know what she was thinking, but her perceptive brown eyes blocked me out of her mind and every pertinent emotion they held.
And so with that Ginny and I bought a charming little cottage far within the English countryside. James and Albus welcomed the change gladly and even Ginny and I felt comforted by its presence. Of course our happiness did not last long, as Ginny too made her final and unsuccessful attempts at pregnancy. Anguish filled my sullen being once again and I longed to remember what it felt like to be happy. My sorrow was short-lived as it was hastily flung aside by the advent of a miracle:
A miracle by the name of Lily Luna Potter.
I could not be any happier.
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TBC…
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AN: So there you have it! The full circle describing Harry and Hermione's past circumstances. The next chapter will bring us back to the present and the story will continue to unfold. Please Review!