Chapter 4 "The Shortest Night"

B'Elanna didn't know what to think. She suspected there was more to the story than Max and Tom had let on, but neither one of them would reveal anything.

It just seemed a little too coincidental. The Doctor might have accepted Max's explanation of how they had acquired their injuries, but not B'Elanna.

This ridiculous rivalry between Tom and Max had to stop. The problem was, she didn't know how to make that happen.

So she went to Chakotay for some advice...

"Chakotay. I need to talk to you. Do you have a minute?"

"Sure. What's on your mind, B'Elanna?"

"Tom. And Max."

Chakotay nodded in understanding.

"You know that Max and I used to go out..." she began.

"When you were at the Academy." He had heard it all by now. News still traveled fast on Voyager.

"That was ten years ago. It doesn't really matter anymore. At least, it shouldn't matter."

"But Tom feels otherwise."

"He acts like I'm going to run off with Max first chance I get. He's being completely unreasonable!"

"Did you two talk about this?"

"Yes... We kind of had an argument about it."

"I see."

She sighed. "I don't know what's gotten into him. It's as though there's some ongoing competition between him and Max."

"That's understandable. Max is your ex-boyfriend, after all. I mean, how would you feel if you ever ran into one of Tom's ex-girlfriends?"

B'Elanna frowned. She had never really considered that possibility before. On Voyager, it wasn't something she really needed to think about. Tom hadn't really dated anyone, excepting a few dates with Megan Delaney, and that had been more platonic than
romantic.

But if Voyager made it back to the Alpha Quadrant, it was more than likely that she would have to deal with the issue.

The thought didn't exactly appeal to her.

Chakotay continued. "Wouldn't you feel a little jealous, and maybe even... insecure?"

"I guess so," she admitted grudgingly.

"Talk to him again," Chakotay suggested. "Maybe all he needs is a little more reassurance."

Tom sat alone in his quarters, feeling miserable and wondering what the heck was happening to him. It wasn't like him to resort to physical aggression, even when provoked.

The worst part was that it hadn't really made him feel much better.

This wasn't just about Burke. His arrival and continued presence might have triggered Tom's temper, but there was more to it than that.

Encountering the Equinox had reminded everyone that they were getting closer and closer to home. The Alpha Quadrant, the Federation, Starfleet, Earth... It seemed all the more real now that Voyager had actually come in contact with another Federation
starship.

For the past five years, Voyager had adapted to life in the Delta Quadrant and functioned as a self-sufficient unit independent of Starfleet Command. But all that would change when they got back to Earth.

What would they find in store for them when they returned to the Alpha Quadrant, and would they be prepared to deal with it? From the letters from home they had received last year, it sounded as though a lot had changed in the Alpha Quadrant these past few years... and who knew how much more it would change in the time it took them to get back.

Tom was afraid that everything he had left behind in the Alpha Quadrant might come back to haunt him when Voyager finally made it home.

He wasn't sure that things would be the same between him and B'Elanna.

In the unusual circumstances on Voyager, they had both been given a second chance, and their relationship had flourished.

But would their love be strong enough to survive the homecoming?

Seeing as how Burke had managed to single-handedly disrupt their relationship already, Tom worried that it wouldn't.

"Tom. We need to talk."

"I know." He didn't seem too enthusiastic about the prospect.

B'Elanna really didn't know what to say. Tom hardly ever really lost control. He would get worked up over things that mattered to him, but he rarely exploded the way she did. Not because he didn't feel anything – he did, very deeply – but because he had trained himself to mask his emotions so well. He frequently used humor as a shield, pretending that nothing bothered him. It wasn't easy to get him to talk about how he felt.

"I'm trying to understand, but..."

Tom shrugged.

"You and Max were fighting with each other on the Holodeck, weren't you."

"Something like that," he said quietly. "I don't know what came over me."

They both fell silent.

It was awkward. Usually he was the one soothing her, helping her find an outlet for her anger, whether it be channeling the negative energy into something more productive, or talking it over until it didn't seem that bad anymore. He was very good at that. It was one of the reasons they were still together after all this time. Most people didn't know how to deal with her volatility and usually opted for staying out of the way, but Tom could handle it. And she was a better person for it. Calmer, more reasonable, not so angry
and hostile all the time.

Now that their roles were reversed, B'Elanna was at a loss. She suspected that he was too. He wasn't accustomed to losing control emotionally.

She wished that she had his talent for defusing situations like this.

What could she possibly say? She couldn't exactly lecture him about acting irrational; she wasn't always reasonable either. She couldn't blame him for losing his temper; she was guilty of losing hers practically every day. She certainly wasn't about to tell him that hitting someone was not the best way to deal with conflict; he already knew that and even had to remind her every time she resorted to violence to express her feelings.

She understood all too well.

"What... what happened?" she finally asked, dreading the answer.

Tom shrugged again. "He said... something stupid."

B'Elanna frowned. "About you?" No, that didn't seem quite right. "About me," she realized.

From the flash of anger in his eyes, she knew she was right.

"What exactly did he say?"

His tone was brusque. "It's not important."

"I just want to know –"

"I said, it's not important," he repeated, looking heated.

She raised her hands in a conciliatory gesture. "Okay, okay."

B'Elanna felt terrible. She couldn't seem to find the right words to make him feel any better. Was this what he went through every time she blew up over something?

It couldn't be very pleasant for him, having to deal with someone who was angry about something more often than not. Trying to reason with her when she wasn't in any mood to be reasonable. She was suddenly ashamed of all that she put him through all these years. She didn't know how he managed. He had the patience of a saint.

There weren't too many people who had the courage or generosity to put up with her temper. She knew that all too well. She was lucky to have him.

He was good for her. She had a tendency to take life too seriously, and he helped her lighten up and put things in perspective. Tom never gave up on her, even when she was at her worst. He was too stubborn, and he loved her too much.

She didn't give him enough credit for it.

Tom suddenly felt guilty, seeing the distress in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, B'Elanna..." He recognized what she was going through – he went through it every time she exploded over something. Feeling helpless, wanting to do something to take away the anger and the pain but not really being able to. Treading lightly, so as not
to provoke, not wanting to be the next target. Trying not to react, not to take it personally. Though it was next to impossible sometimes. When someone was yelling at you, it was an instinctive reaction to yell back in defense.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I just lost my temper back there on the holodeck, and next thing I knew..."

She slowly shook her head and finally said. "It's okay. Knowing Max, he probably deserved it." A little part of her was thrilled that Tom had wanted to defend her honor. Though she never would have admitted it to him, she was touched.

Tom smiled a little at that.

"I know I've been acting a little crazy lately..." he began.

"It's all right. I... I think I understand why."

"You do?"

"Well... It's always strange when an ex-boyfriend unexpectedly shows up. I'm not exactly looking forward to meeting any of your old girlfriends either."

He nodded. "I don't like feeling jealous, but..."

"Tom, you have nothing to be jealous about," she assured him.

But he still looked doubtful.

"I guess I was afraid... that I might lose you," he confessed.

"You're not going to lose me," she told him softly. "You're not getting rid of me that easily. I love you."

She didn't tell him enough how much she loved and appreciated him. A lot of the time she was so caught up in her own problems and insecurities that she forgot he had a lot to deal with too. He wasn't as sure of himself as he wanted everyone to think. Only she was allowed to glimpse his vulnerability because he loved and trusted her. Tom had opened his heart to her, and she never doubted that he loved her. That he was devoted to her, committed to her.

He was always supportive of her, even though he didn't necessarily always agree with her decisions. And she wanted to be there for him.

"I'm not perfect... and I certainly don't expect you to be either. Perfection is for the Borg."

That made him smile.

"I know there are things in your past that you're not proud of... and the same goes for me. But we're not the same people we were five years ago. We've both changed, for the better."

"I know," he said softly.

"Whatever comes our way, we'll face it together."

He hugged her close, relieved and much reassured.

"I'm sorry about dinner last night, for behaving so strangely and calling you 'sweetheart,'" he finally said.

B'Elanna stared into his eyes, mesmerized by their clarity.

"Tom... you can call me anything you want," she said huskily, just before their lips met.

"Really? You mean it?? he asked after they broke for air.

"Well... you can call me anything you want when it's just the two of us," she amended before kissing him again.

"Okay... sweetheart."

She growled at him in mock exasperation as he laughed.

"I guess anything's better than 'BLT.'"

"Don't be too sure about that. Harry keeps calling me 'Turkey Platter,'" Tom grumbled.

She laughed. "That's pretty clever... and kinda cute. It suits you."

"Thanks a lot."

B'Elanna giggled again. "Would you rather he call you 'pastrami on rye' or 'peanut butter and jelly' instead?"

"Now why would he call me that? That doesn't fit my initials."

"Never mind..."

They grew serious again after a moment.

"I love you," Tom whispered. "I know I don't say it often enough, but I do..."

"I know. And I love you... Only you."

She pressed her lips to his again, determined to convince him that he was the only one for her, even it took all night.

"It just might..." he murmured with a hint of a smile. With a start, she realized that she had spoken that last thought out loud.

B'Elanna smiled. "Then we'd better get started..."

The End