A/N: I'm not entirely sure when Vegeta and Bulma actually do get married... most evidence points to sometime during the Android saga so I'll go by that. The two years or whatever without Goku, when he was on Yardrat, are obviously skipped over in this so the Android saga might happen sooner. Not sure... bleh, I hate trying to keep things sort of canon.

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or anything affiliated with it.

-MalRev

My Own Being

4) Dreaming

The last thing I wanted to do was talk to Goku so I stowed away in the basement to sleep on the couch. Of course it was even cleaner down there than it was upstairs—Chi-Chi would die before a guest found a speck of dirt in her house. I quietly shut the door and considered locking it but decided that would be overkill and just make him worry more. He was in a bad mood from being screamed at and nothing more. He'd apologize to me in the morning or act like it never happened.

My expression soured as I sat down on the couch and yanked the cover off the back. Vegeta was such a jerk. I'd promised myself a long time ago, when I was still a teenager, that I wouldn't go googly over a guy like I had during the search for the Dragon Balls. I wanted to be independent. So what if he wanted nothing to do with our son? I could raise him just fine myself while he punched shit in space.

Still, I couldn't be angry with him. It wasn't in Vegeta's nature to stick around and be a dad. I'd seen enough of the Saiyan men to realize that none of them were homebodies. Even Goku showed moments of weakness where he yearned to leave the house and never return. Gohan kept him firm on his feet, though. The two of them had a deep bond that no amount of alien heritage could ever break.

It might take months or even years for Vegeta to feel that kind of connection with our child and that didn't bother me very much. Until then, I had a lot of people around me who would support my decision no matter what. In fact, I could just imagine their faces when I told them that… that I…

Oh hell, no one would be happy for me. Vegeta had slaughtered half the Namekians and stood by grinning while Nappa killed Yamcha and Piccolo. They had been able to come back to life only after we toiled on a foreign planet that was ruled by a psychotic intergalactic pirate. They'd probably hold me down and shove poison down my throat to keep anything spawned by him from coming into the world.

It wasn't a good position to be in but I knew I had to be strong. Only Goku and Vegeta knew and neither of them had any reason to tell other people. Maybe I could hide my growing belly and become a recluse until the baby was born. I could deliver by myself: I'd read about it online a few times. How hard could it be to push a baby out of your body? Women had been doing it for thousands and thousands of years without needing an epidural or doctors.

Hiding a half-Saiyan child would prove to be difficult, though, and it would be glaringly obvious if he was born with a tail like Gohan. I obviously hadn't slept with Goku so everyone would put the pieces of the puzzle together and we'd be ostracized. But I could wait until after the birth to reveal the baby and hope everyone put their judgments aside to welcome us.

"Bulma? Are you down here?"

I sat up quickly to see Goku peering curiously down the stairs, clothes ripped in a hundred different places. He had some cuts and bruises but they would heal quickly thanks to his Saiyan blood. He smiled when he noticed me and walked down the stairs to lean on the wall, sighing loudly.

"Did he leave?" I asked.

"Yeah, but I don't think he went into space." Goku squinted up at the ceiling like he could visualize Vegeta ejecting into the stairs. He cracked his neck. "Even after everything that's happened he's still being a jerk. Oh well, guess it takes a while for the Saiyan in some of us to go away."

"Guess so. I'm gonna go to sleep and head out early in the morning back to Capsule Corp. I should probably try to explain some things to him."

Goku shrugged off the wall and sauntered over to sit beside me on the couch, propping my feet up on his lap. He turned on the small TV and sank down in the pillows to lazily watch through half-open eyes as images flickered across the screen. I awkwardly pulled the blanket closer to my chin to hide my face. Okay, it wasn't that weird. I'd known him for more than a decade. He was just tired.

Besides, Goku was used to sleeping with Chi-Chi at night. All he wanted was some company until he could doze off by himself upstairs. I yawned and closed my eyes while laughter from the sitcom echoed through the quiet basement. Being pregnant was really messing with my head—making me imagine things that weren't there and think crazy.

"Bulma?"

"Hm." I was drifting off, nearly asleep.

"Um… if you need anything… well, just let me know."

"…Thanks, Goku."

Curiosity got the better of me and I opened my eyes to see him smiling to himself, rubbing his nose like he always did when he was feeling cheeky. There was a faint blush across his face.

In some ways, Goku was as much of an enigma to me as Vegeta. He seemed much simpler and always had a big grin on his face that made him way more approachable but I'd always had a feeling there was something more to him. Of course, we all figured out he turned into a giant ape when the moon came out but that part of him had been lost when his tail was pulled off. There was something more; something that kept me constantly on my toes when he was around.

My eyes closed again. Maybe it was better that I didn't think of it anymore. I had a tendency to chew things over until they tasted bad so I was just going to spit it out and act like it never happened. We'd be friends forever and Vegeta would come around eventually to care about his kid.

But the creeping fear of being rejected by my family came back with a vengeance and I couldn't fall asleep. It was terrifying to think of everyone's disgusted faces when I revealed who the baby's father was. I started gnawing on my nails again and felt Goku's legs shift as he turned to look at me, head cocked curiously. The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them.

I sat up quickly, rubbing my face. "What if everyone's mad at me? I mean, I don't care what people think most times but… I don't want to be thrown out or something."

"C'mon, Bulma, no one's gonna be mad." Goku tangled his fingers in his hair and grinned. He kept finding himself hilarious. "They'll be surprised but definitely not mad. We all care about you. Everyone Vegeta killed was brought back to life so no harm, no foul."

"That doesn't change the fact that he murdered a ton of people. What if our kid is evil like that? I don't know what I'll do."

Goku's eyes roamed back to the TV. "It's gonna be fine. I'll make sure of it."

Neither of us spoke anymore. I was oddly calmed by Goku's insistence that I was overreacting and managed to fall asleep a few minutes later to the voices on the television. Yeah, everything would be fine. Even if it wasn't I was used to taking care of myself and Goku said he would help me. Comforted, I began to slip into a deep dream…

Tiny hands grasped mine tightly as I helped a boy with purple hair walk across the carpet in an unfamiliar living room. He babbled and smiled excitedly while I encouraged him, sliding backwards to keep him moving forward. His chunky legs wobbled a few times but he pressed forward anyhow with me repeatedly praising every small step he took. I was elated. At some point I mentioned a name but it was lost to me.

The boy finally collapsed but didn't cry—he straightened his face and got right back up again. I laughed and scooped him into my arms for a hug that he wasn't really interested in. He squirmed a bit before settling down and whimpered for food. How old was he? What did I feed him?

Consciousness filtered back to me. I became aware of someone hoisting me up off the couch but thought nothing of it. My mind was occupied with more important things. I was having a dream about the baby growing inside me and I didn't want to leave it. I leaned lazily against the chest of the stranger and inhaled a familiar scent of pine needles and smoke. Big hands held me close…

Someone grasped my shoulders from behind while I hastily pulled my shirt aside to feed my son, hoping it was what he wanted. He latched on and I sighed, holding him gently in my arms. It was peaceful. The room we were in was small and only heated by a fire roaring in the background. I craned my neck to kiss my son's forehead and the hands on my shoulders squeezed slightly.

"Vegeta, do you mind?" I asked, irately shaking free of his grasp. "I'm trying to feed our son."

We walked up a two sets of stairs. The person set me on a comfortable bed and I yawned in my sleep, still clinging to the pleasant dream. Vegeta had to interfere as always. Sheets were pulled up to my neck and I felt another body lie beside mine, warm but surprisingly hard. A thick arm wrapped around my waist and held me tightly to the stranger. I sighed and nestled into the soft pillows to continue dreaming…

The person's hands slid off me and they sat beside me to touch the baby's thick hair. I stroked his cheek softly with the tip of my index finger and his little blue eyes began to close. Vegeta wrapped an arm around my waist and I was finally torn from staring at our son.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw Goku slip his finger under one of the baby's small hands. He smiled at me. "Don't worry, Bulma. No one has to know the truth."

The shock was enough to force me awake.

I immediately flew up in bed, groaning when I became lightheaded, and clutched my forehead for a few moments while my body caught up with me. It wasn't a scary dream but it was definitely embarrassing. What was I doing imagining having a son with Goku?! He'd probably laugh at me if he knew. Chi-Chi would be furious and worry about leaving me alone with her husband.

That was when I realized that I was indeed sleeping in a bed and it didn't belong to me. I turned to see Goku lying beside me, black hair splayed across his pillow with a peaceful look that only sleep could bring. I was sure I'd fallen asleep in the basement… had he really carried me upstairs to sleep with him? I could've gone in Gohan's room or even stayed in the basement alone. I didn't care.

The Saiyan suddenly turned on his back and the sheets slipped down, showing his rippling muscles that definitely hadn't been around when we were kids. I'd seen him with torn shirts and even without a shirt on during the many fights he'd been in but this was somehow different.

A blush crept into my cheeks. My back was feeling better so it would be a good idea to leave. Knowing Chi-Chi she probably smelled the sheets every day to make sure Goku wasn't cheating on her. I carefully moved back to the covers to get up when I heard Goku yawn and stretch, causing his joints to pop. Terrified, I remained perfectly still for a while longer until he dropped off to sleep again.

There was always a smile on Goku's face. I hovered near the entrance to the bedroom, watching him sleep for a few moments. His hands reached out blindly for something to hold and he settled for a pillow that his body eclipsed when he curled around it. I could hear my heart beating in my ears.

"Mmm, Bulma," he murmured.

I hurried out of the house to my car, shaking my head wildly. "No, Bulma, you are not in the least bit attracted to Goku. Get those stupid thoughts out of your head right now." I yanked open the door and rubbed my eyes, hoping it would instill some sanity. "You're going to be a mother. Chi-Chi is a good friend of yours and you don't want her to hate you. Stop thinking about it."

No, I was not attracted to Goku. I couldn't be. He was younger than me, married, and had a kid; I'd watched him grow from a little boy into a brave man. When I imagined strength, the first thing that came to my mind was Goku. I didn't fantasize about him and I certainly wouldn't sacrifice our friendship for some stupid crush my head had decided it wanted to curse me with.

The craziness in my mind died down when I arrived back home. I threw my keys in the basket near the door and trumped upstairs to go back to bed. The baby was driving me nuts. All I needed was a long rest and some food in my stomach. I hadn't been able to eat much of Chi-Chi's delicious cooking.

I turned the corner into my bedroom and tiredly turned on the light.

A familiar Saiyan with pointy black hair was sitting on my bed. He scowled while I stared at him in surprise. Vegeta? He never came in my room without my permission. Come to think of it, he was invading my space! What a jerk! I was so sick of him—

"I've been thinking," he said, coarse and rude as always, "and…" His scowl deepened and he looked at the floor. "We should get married."