"Excuse me, would you like to participate in a very important survey that could very well affect the entire population of the Wizarding world?"

Blaise looked up from his extremely boring and useless essay on the Troll war of 1413 that was led by Worf the Warrior (very original, those Trolls) at the sound of angels speaking to him.

"Yes, oh lovely mistress of the Etherworld. I think it's safe to assume that I (and you, in turn) would highly enjoy participation in any type of sport you might have in mind."

The airy Ravenclaw turned large, dreamy, silvery-blue eyes upon the gorgeous Slytherin boy sitting before her.

"Oh, well I don't play Quidditch, but I think you might play an important part in my quest for world domination through love, peace and respect for all living creatures."

As Blaise continued to stare, transfixed, he felt something inside of him begin to change. His chest got a warm feeling and he couldn't keep his mind from thinking about how it might feel to kiss the lips of the vision in front of him. He briefly closed his deep chocolate eyes, his eyelashes lay upon his finely chiseled cheekbones that only Pure-blood wizards were born with, and he took a deep breath.

"Would you like to be my girlfriend? I find myself intrigued by your free spirit and I want to become a better person by being in your constant presence."

Twirling a turquoise coloured quill through her blond locks, Luna focused in upon the boy sitting in front of her. Seeming to come to her decision she gave a silent nod and spoke again.

"It seems appropriate for this time of the season, so I suppose I shouldn't go against the wishes of the Narfler Queen."

"Precisely so, fair maiden. Now let me see your very important survey that will allow us the opportunity to take over the world. Things like that don't come along every day, now do they?"

Luna contemplated on what creature it might be that gave him that voice of silk and thought she would search through her Quibblers later, but for now, there was love to drown the masses with that needed to be harnessed.

"Here you go, Blaise Zabini," Luna handed him the parchment and her quill; "you may use my quill if you'd like. It's been Nargle-proofed, so we'll be just fine."

A/N: This is the prompt I really wanted to use, but using the characters in the HP world was really stretching it. It's so AU that as a drabble I just couldn't do it with good conscience. But, the movie just would not leave my head the whole time I was writing the B/L drabble. Ron here is pretty OOC.

Oh, and if you hadn't guessed it already, the B/L was intended to be a crack!drabble.

The italicized quotes are all from Donatien Alphonse François de Sade.

- X -

"Miserable creatures, thrown for a moment on the surface of this little pile of mud, is it decreed that one half of the flock should be the persecutor of the other? Is it for you, mankind, to pronounce on what is good and what is evil?"

"This fellow was bloody brilliant, Hermione."

The brunette did her best not to roll her eyes at one on of her best friends. It wasn't the first time she wondered exactly how his brain functioned, and she doubted it would be the last.

"Ron, is this really the man whose philosophy speaks to you?"

"Social order at the expense of liberty is hardly a bargain."

The redhead gulped but decided it was time to stand his ground with her. She always made him feel like his decisions were all the wrong ones.

"Well, he was a bit mad, I suppose, but if you look at it from his point of view Hermione, he's not wrong."

"In order to know virtue, we must first acquaint ourselves with vice."

"Honestly, Ron, he was only concerned with his own pleasure. How can you find someone so decadent to be insightful?"

Inwardly cringing, knowing all the thoughts and worries he'd been having ever since deciding that Hermione was probably going to end up his wife whether he was ready for that or not, he decided that right now, as his future wife at some hopefully distant point in the future made him feel small and not so sure anymore that the famous sadist was the best guy to look up to, he thought that maybe this time bravery was not in his best interest.

"The horror of wedlock, the most appalling, the most loathsome of all the bonds humankind has devised for its own discomfort and degradation."

"I should have never taken you to see that movie."