GRIMES RESIDENCE - NEWTON, MA
(… two weeks earlier)
Jack slowly walked through the gate of the white picket fence that charmingly wrapped around the Cape Cod style house. In mindless habit, he tossed his key ring into the air and barely noticed the jingling sound each time he caught it with his right hand. He bounded up the couple of steps and rang the buzzer. He could feel the cold pressure of early November New England wind strike his cheeks. After a few seconds, Rick swung open the red-painted oak door wearing jeans, a blue t-shirt and a big smile. Grinning, he pushed open the storm door to let Jack inside, "Get in here!"
Not even two steps into the house, Jack was drawn into a burly embrace and Rick was slapping him on the back. Jack laughed, "It's good to see you too, man." Rick smiled while noticing the flecks in Jack's hair, "I see you're catching up to me and getting some greys."
Chuckling, Jack said, "Yeah, getting long in the tooth. I swear, I have no idea where the last decade went."
Rick knew though. The two of them have worked really hard, advancing in their respective careers. Demanding work that would age anyone. Noticing that Jack had the strap of his briefcase on his shoulder, Rick asked, "Are you coming from the office? On a Saturday?"
"Yeah, had some work to do. I still need to update the organizational chart for BAU. I can't figure out who should be reporting into who. I need to sort it out quickly too."
Rick nodded, "I hear ya. So… how's everything? Settled into the new digs?"
Jack nodded, "Yeah, the moving company took care of most it. " He then released a shiver, "Brrrr. It's cold here, how have you adjusted? From Georgia to L.A. and now Boston?"
"It took a little while, my inner southern boy fought it tooth and nail, but snow on Christmas is nice though. Carl has taken to it pretty well."
Jack removed his black down puffer vest and shoes in the foyer and then followed Rick down the flight of sisal carpeted stairs before stepping into the large room. He looked around, taking in the hanging flat screen tv, the kitchenette and gargantuan leather sectional,"So you finished the basement renovation since I was here last. It looks good Rick."
Rick rubbed his jaw, "Well, it cost me a fortune, Lori went overboard. I still can't get over the cost of living here. Down in Atlanta, I could have bought a mansion for the price of this cottage." Rick walked over to the bar fridge and reached in to grab two bottles of beer. He popped the caps off with the bottle opener before taking a spot next to Jack on the sofa.
"My dad still says a job is waiting for you at his former law firm - they have a Boston office. Anytime Rick, all you have to do is ask." Rick shook his head and it wasn't that the offer wasn't tempting as hell. He could triple his salary and that would take a lot of stress off him, off the family, but he loved his job as an assistant prosecutor in the U.S. Attorney's Office. Jack hadn't liked it as much though, his inclination always with the apprehension of criminals as opposed to prosecuting them. Christian Shephard was now a Federal Court District judge in California, but he had been a partner at a law firm for many years. Jack was his only child and he tried to mold him into the image of himself. So when Jack announced to him the day of his graduation from Columbia University that he was applying to the LAPD, Christian naturally had a fit.
While working as a cop, Jack decided to enroll in the night program at UCLA Law School and that is where he met Rick, a classmate. Christian pulled a few strings and got them coveted positions within the U.S. Department of Justice. Jack's legal career was short-lived though and he decided the Bureau was a better fit for him.
Rick smiled, "Look at you. So, how's it feel to be the man in charge? The head honcho, running the Boston Field Division." Rick teased as he tipped his beer towards Jack and then took a solid gulp. Truth was, Jack didn't care for the promotion. More bureaucracy, paper work and another level away from what he enjoyed most - being in the field, solving cases. And he hated the public relations aspect of the role, speaking to the press and media. It was not … him.
"It's just great, Rick. I walk around the office with a perpetual hard-on for a beautiful girl, but otherwise it's fucking great."
Rick nearly choked on Jack's uncharacteristic lewd comment - his mouthful of beer went spraying everywhere. Jack felt the flying drops hit against his cheek, he promptly stood up and walked over to grab some paper towels from the counter. Jack leaned on one straight arm, his hand closed over the granite edge while he concentrated on the effort at dabbing the paper on his face. His voice was dull, without conviction, "Thanks, I appreciate being spit on."
Rick looked at him incredulously, "Sorry man. It's just you don't usually say things like that. That's a comment I'd expect coming from Shane, not you."
A frown crept across his face, Jack didn't know Shane very well, having only met him at Rick's bachelor party, wedding and then Carl's christening. But he knew enough from all the stories he heard over the years to know that Rick wasn't paying him a compliment here. Jack handed Rick a sheet from the towel roll and then sat down next to him again. Jack wasn't one to divulge, but the Kate 'situation' had been weighing on him, especially after he all but ignored her and failed to acknowledge their relationship this past week. Maybe he didn't sound like himself because he didn't feel like himself.
Rick studied Jack's troubled expression, muted the Boston College football game on TV. He leaned over, a tiny grin still lingering on his lips, even though he was trying to be serious, "Jack. What's going on?"
"First of all, wipe that look off your face, Rick."
"What look?" Rick asked with a smile.
"That look," Jack said while feeling an irrepressible edge of frustration.
Rick grumbled and nodded.
"You want to hear the truth then?" Jack asked.
"Yeah, speaking as someone who has to listen to bullshit all day long for a living, I want the truth."
Jack hesitated. "I screwed up. I slept with an agent from the office ... and to make matters worse, she's right out of the academy-"
"How? I mean … when? You've been in Boston barely longer than a week." Rick was stunned, he sighed and peeked over his shoulder to find Jack rubbing his temple.
"Well, it happened. You're not going to believe it Rick-"
"Try me."
"It was random, actually. I met ... Kate at a bar before I knew who she was, before she knew who I am. We talked a while and one thing led to another and I went home with her … it was nice."
"It didn't occur to you guys to mention what you did for a living?"
"She lied and I left out a few details."
Rick detected something in Jack's eyes, something deeper, a wistfulness that hinted to him that whatever he shared with this woman was more than simply "nice" for Jack. He knew him for a long time and Jack wasn't one to dwell on his sexual encounters. This one was different.
Rick prodded, "I can tell, this girl got under your skin. That means she must have been pretty amazing to leave an impression on that old cynical heart of yours." Rick shook his head in amazement and with a bit of envy while recalling his days as a single man and even though he never took as much advantage as he could have, it didn't mean that once in a while, he imagined having that freedom again. "I swear, I live vicariously through you, Jack."
"Why? You're not missing a thing, Rick. You've got a nice life here. Lori … Carl, a beautiful house … a family. You don't want to trade places with me." He thought of Rick's life and wondered if he could slip into it, fulfill that deep longing to relax and put his past behind him. But, a part of Jack knew that he wasn't cut out for settling down - barbecues on Sundays, walking the dog each morning, playing golf, while real monsters were still out there. He would always gravitate towards the darkness. And then he thought of Kate, her file, what he discovered about her - she was drawn to the shadows as well. He then leaned over and unzipped his bag, pulled out a folded piece of paper and wordlessly handed it to Rick.
Rick opened it and saw the fresh face of a young woman … a beautiful woman looking back at him. He studied the photo a moment, trying to see her from Jack's point of view. He saw the appeal, he understood his friend … up to a point.
"She's gorgeous Jack and you weren't kidding, she's young. I mean, how old is she?"
"I know. She is probably too young." Jack let out a heavy sigh, "I don't know what got into me. I saw her from across the crowded bar and she just pulled me in. There's something about her. Maybe -"
Rick shook his head. "You're not thinking of pursuing this, right Jack? Re-read the Bureau's Sexual Harassment Policy. Going after this is nothing but trouble -"
"You don't think I know that? But it's out there already. We've already done it. Who knows? Maybe this could turn into something?"
"Yeah, it could turn into a lawsuit," Rick said. Jack wasn't one for long-term relationships, that much Rick knew. And to pursue a colleague just starting her career seemed like a disaster in the making. And Jack wasn't very good at separating work from the personal once emotions got involved. "Jack, do I need to remind you what happened the last time it got personal between you and an agent? Don't do this -"
"Kate is different. This is nothing like it was with Penny. You don't even know what you're talking about, so shut up Rick."
In bringing her up, Rick knew he had crossed the line with Jack and he shouldn't have. Looking at him in edgy apology, Rick was about to say something. But he heard the door slam upstairs and quick footsteps race down the stairwell.
Ah, Rick thought. Excellent, Lori came home from soccer practice and delivered Carl in perfect time to break up this uncomfortable conversation.
"Uncle Jack!"
Jack stood up and wrapped his arms around the eleven year old boy, "Carl. You're gettin' big. Soon you'll be kicking our butts."
Carl giggled as Jack playfully tousled the mop of messy hair on the boy's head. "You better eat your spinach, Uncle Jack."
"You're right. I better hit the weights, huh? And April 13th, keep your calendar open. I ordered the two of us Sox home opener tickets."
Rick groaned, "We're Braves fans in this household!"
Carl squealed, "Only you are dad! I'm not! Fenway Park, here I come!"
Rick rolled his eyes, but he was pleased. Jack had no siblings and Rick enjoyed seeing how close his son was to him. Despite the fact that Jack and Rick's family had been living on opposite coasts for about three years, they remained close.
Jack urged Carl to take a seat next to him, so they could watch the football game together. Jack watched Carl peel the knee socks and shin guards off his legs. "How was practice, Carl?"
"It was good. Are you gonna watch me play soon?" The boy asked with eagerness.
"Of course, tell your dad to send me your game schedule and I'll definitely come to a few of your matches." For the first time, Jack noticed Carl's freckled cheeks and he knew why.
"Can we play some touch football in the backyard when the BC and Notre Game game is over?" Carl asked. Jack nodded, moments like this, he missed his college days when he played the sport. "Of course, just remember to take it easy on me."
AUSTEN RESIDENCE - BEACON HILL, MA
(now)
Kate did not try to sleep. Still in her work clothes, lying on her bed for hours, Kate thought about Jack, what happened in the pantry last week, the response it ignited in her. She then remembered what they shared during their night together and a specific act, one that filled her with embarrassment and regret for letting herself get so caught up in the moment. Now, the one thing she wished for most was to find herself transported a year or two in time when everything would eventually settle. This had to settle.
Kate saw him once at a coffee shop near the office, standing in line to place his morning coffee order. Even in the most mundane setting, Jack was enticing, even when wearing his conservative suit and tie. She noticed a few women give him a once over and it was as if the entire female population in the Greater Boston Area was now finally onto Kate's little secret. He was oblivious to the attention though, too engrossed in his Blackberry, with a copy of The New York Times tucked under his arm. Kate shrunk away, not wanting him to catch sight of her and at that moment her desire for him was excruciating.
And there were moments she would see him come out of a closed conference room looking as if he were about to shove someone's head through a wall. And why was that so hot to her? Sex, that's what he was. Walking sex, who needed porn when all she had to do was show up at the office? And she was questioning her sanity now, because what did it say about her? That she was attracted to a man that essentially slept with her and tossed her to the side. That she was attracted to a man that seemed to have anger and memory issues. But it wasn't entirely one-sided she believed. She saw the way he briefly looked at her and it made her feel good, in control. And it made her want to punish him with his apparent attraction to her.
FBI - BOSTON FIELD DIVISION - ONE CENTER PLAZA
Agent Shephard and Agent Rom nodded as Juliet and Kate stepped into the elevator. Kate eyed Jack with bristling wariness as she edged past him. Juliet greeted the men and she made some light conversation, while Kate, unable to control herself, gave Jack a brief catty, sideways look. Jack did notice, but remained aloof, trying hard to conceal the smile that was trying to stretch across his face. She wore a look that was disdaining and he found it unspeakably charming. He may actually be falling in love with her he briefly thought.
There was certainly something between them and it wasn't just the physical attraction or her obvious anger with him that made him want her. He felt it each time she was near. She lowered her head slightly when she caught him looking at her ever so briefly.
After the female agents left the elevator, Jack and Ethan were alone, Rom observed out loud, "I don't remember the new agents looking like that when I graduated from the Academy." Jack nodded, his demeanor remaining sober. After an awkward second, Jack realized he should say something, camaraderie was important. "Yeah, me neither." And Jack was relieved with his decision to place Kate under Special Agent Alpert, a dedicated family man and not Rom the bachelor who, understandably, had a pair of eyes.
"What was that in there?" Juliet asked, studying Kate's expression as they walked towards their desks.
"What are you talking about?"
"Well, you were rude to our boss."
"I was not. I just let you do all the talking."
"No, you shot him a dirty look, Kate."
"He's arrogant. I'm sure he's used to getting those kind of looks by now. I bet he hardly noticed," Kate said sourly.
"I don't think he's arrogant. He's reserved, maybe even shy or a bit anti-social. It's just his personality. Well, despite your impression, I've heard a bit about Shephard and as well as being exceptionally good looking, he's a damn good agent. He's known for getting the most tight-lipped subjects and inmates into conversational moods. His instincts are always on the money - the man's a natural, he understands criminals and knows how to catch them. There's a reason he's quickly climbed up the ladder of FBI management, especially for his age. So if you want to join Miles and have your career headed for oblivion, keep up the attitude."
Kate squeezed her eyes shut. She was practically ready to scream at the top of her lungs that the man was NOT shy. She almost laughed out loud. Shy? Oh hell no, he wasn't.
Juliet didn't know him. And the image of Jack in her shower stall, the two of them touching each other so intimately, kissing …. a memory that screamed everyday to be recognized - to be acknowledged by him.
Juliet paused a second, waiting for Kate to respond. But Kate continued to remain silent. "Are you looking to get into his crosshairs too, Austen? Shephard already has it out for Chang ... or Straume, or whatever his real name is - Miles still won't talk about it."
"You know as well as I do, that it's typical to intimidate new agents, that's standard Bureau training. I also understand the organization's by the book mentality, but I'm not allowing myself to be walked all over. If Special Agent in Charge Shephard has a problem with my attitude, he can address it with me." Kate said, then shrugged and tried to round the corner of the hallway and away from Juliet.
"Hey. What's going on Kate? This is not like you," Juliet asked as she caught her by the arm, much to Kate's annoyance. Now, Juliet was perplexed, she hardly recognized her friend. They stood there for a moment or two, in an air of awkwardness and mutual irritation. There was a part of Kate that wanted to break down and share her secret. Keeping it inside was eating away at her. Kate wanted a shoulder to cry on, because she did feel hurt by Jack's actions and she was beginning to think that she was given a nut or an asshole or both for a boss.
But Kate was also so close to telling her friend off. Juliet had no idea what she was talking about, about what was really going on here and she hated the feeling of being judged by her. Instead, she took a deep breath of composure. "Nothing's going on," Kate answered in a hushed, respectful voice.
"Did your one-on-one meeting with Shephard go badly?"
Jack then appeared down the hallway and Kate noticed him glance at her over Juliet's shoulder. "Shhhh. He's walking towards us and the answer is no. My meeting was re-scheduled for this afternoon." Kate expected him to walk past them, but instead he stopped. "Special Agent Austen, is this a good time for our meeting? My schedule opened up a little and I can meet now if that works for you."
Kate was nervous and she hoped that she didn't reveal that emotion.
"Sure. I mean yes," She answered before shooting Juliet a 'we'll catch up later' look.
Jack followed a pace behind her and Kate couldn't shake the feeling that he was staring at her ass. She took the empty chair in front of his desk and heard him carefully shut the door behind them before circling around to take his seat. Kate noticed that he had removed his suit jacket and he absent mindedly loosened his stylish tie. He leaned back into his chair with a casual ease and looked at her carefully. He noticed that she smelled faintly of that shampoo that he had lathered into her hair, a scent that he now came to love.
Silence, perhaps a beat too long even.
Jack held her gaze before finally breaking the awkwardness, "Special Agent Alpert says that you are doing well. Frankly, he didn't give much for me to comment on. He says you are a strong researcher, that you are progressing well."
Kate looked at him blankly. Not much to comment on? Was he serious? Let's comment on the fact that we fucked each other, you prick. How long did he plan to keep this up?
But she decided that she wouldn't let him outfox her at his little game. With unblinking eyes, she said, "Special Agent Alpert is seasoned, I'm fortunate to have him counsel me. But I'm tired of being behind the scenes. I'm ready for a case."
"Agent Austen, learning to profile is an ongoing process. Getting familiar with researching, with VICAP is part of understanding the violent criminal mind -"
"You don't think I know that … sir? I'm ready."
"Are you so sure? The Bureau received a call this morning from the Haverhill Police Department, a young woman, early twenties, was discovered dead in her home -"
Kate interrupted him, "I'll take the assignment -"
With a confused pause, Kate stopped speaking, noticing the wary look he gave her and she finally understood. She felt violated, but she knew better. He was her boss after all, her HR file was his business. But it wasn't Jack's business. "You read my file -"
"I read all my agent's files -"
Kate cocked an eyebrow at him. "So you think you know me now?"
"I'm sorry about your sister." Jack said, his voice was quiet and very sincere.
Tugging unconsciously at her sleeve, she said, "Yeah me too. But that has nothing to do with me taking this case."
From Jack's experience, a number of men and women in the Behavioral Analysis Unit were not up to the formidable task of interviewing violent convicted criminals for one reason or another - especially when it came to child molesters and murderers. In this case, he did wonder if Kate's personal experience would hopelessly compromise an investigation ... or an interview session.
"You can still get experience working on cases with different types of victims -" An expression resembling tenderness spread across his face, but it was too late. He had triggered a response.
"That's so patronizing. I didn't join the Bureau so I can be coddled." Kate said peevishly.
"I didn't say that Agent."
With her hands planted firmly on his desk, she leaned forward, her eyes fixing on him again. "Well, let me share something with you that's not in my personnel file. Yes, my older sister was a victim of a gruesome murder. But did you know that the press somehow made her seem like she asked for it because there was apparent consensual sex between her and her murderer. Jane, my sister, was not promiscuous. But she met a man, she let her guard down and paid for it dearly. Haven't we all let our guard down at one time or another, Agent Shephard?"
Kate looked at him and they both knew that she was referring to them now. And they were both struck by the bitter sound in her voice.
But Kate continued, "And Jane's case has yet to be solved. And I'm sure you have me figured out, don't you? Maybe you have profiled me even? You think that the reason I'm here at the Bureau is because I've been afraid of dangerous men since I was sixteen years old, that I have spent my life fantasizing about apprehending my sister's killer. That this fantasy has been my way of coping with that fear. But what if I told you that I was more fascinated than afraid? What would you think of me then Special Agent in Charge Shephard?"
Kate stood up and Jack immediately followed. Their eyes locked. And for a heart stopping moment neither one of them truly knew whether she would slap him in the face or lunge in for a kiss. Kate opened her mouth, but no sound came out of it. Instead, she turned around and left his office.
Jack sat down hard into his seat, exhausted and feeling at a complete loss for words. Jack stared at the empty doorway, his mouth fallen slightly open. The tone of her voice, the angry flare of resentment in her eyes - the conversation had taken a terrible turn. What was wrong with him? He shouldn't have brought up the matter about her sister. If it were another agent, he wouldn't have done that, he would have let the matter rest and remain silent unless brought up to him.
But Kate wasn't just another agent, he wouldn't be able to treat her like everyone else. And that is where the heart of the problem lied. He had known that his attraction to her would be an issue and in his vain attempt to draw a professional line and make it impersonal between them, by pretending that they hadn't been intimate, he had made matters worse - obviously. He saw it coming too, yet he couldn't stop himself. The compulsion to self-sabotage, the little rush he got off on playing this game with her - he enjoyed it. And he got the feeling that she got a thrill in hating him and the obvious arousal she elicited from him. And then it occurred to him, that the two of them may have disturbing tendencies not too different from some of the subjects he had interviewed over the years.
She was sexy and powerful when she was full of anger and although he didn't know it, he felt safer keeping her angry at him. And despite her words, he saw the flash of vulnerability come over her face. She was open and exposed to him and regardless of what power she may have thought he had over her, she couldn't be more wrong. She held the cards, her vulnerability weakened him and that was the scariest feeling he knew.
Their conversation had also confirmed what he had already suspected after reading about the nature of Kate's sister's death. That night in the bar, when she told him that she wouldn't be good at a one-night stand, he didn't believe that she could be serious at the time, but now he knew why she felt that way. Anyone in her circumstances would feel that way. But then an odd thought entered his mind, was Kate, in some way, channeling her sister that night?
Kate marched to her desk and slammed a drawer shut, forcing Juliet to look up. While Kate gathered some of her belongings, Juliet felt propelled to ask, "I take it that your meeting didn't go well -"
She said nothing at first, but she was composed now and turned slightly towards Juliet, "I've been given an assignment. I'm going to Alpert's office now."
Despite the calmness, Juliet saw that Kate's smile was cold with a hint of anger. Something was up.
A/N: SORRY for the delayed update. I have to also admit that this story has become a bit more complicated than I intended, so I am going to need all the support I can get to see this story through. I've been doing research (purchased books even!) and let me tell you, serial killers are a frightening topic to read about.
I also have a question though, do you like reading Jack's POV? At first, I was going to keep him pretty silent and mysterious and let Kate's voice do most of the talking. But I can't help but be drawn to writing him. I am enjoying his complexity in this story, as well as Kate's. She has a dark side too, yeah?
So please review to let me know whether all this effort is worth it. It would be greatly, greatly appreciated.
Also, FYI - The Violent Criminal Apprehension Program (ViCAP) maintains the largest investigative repository of major violent crime cases in the U.S. It is designed to collect and analyze information about homicides, sexual assaults, missing persons, and other violent crimes involving unidentified human remains.
Oh, and I know that UCLA law school doesn't offer a night program, but it worked best for my story.