A/N Thanks to FeralPirate for her excellent beta work for me. As usual this is JKR's world and characters. I am borrowing them for my dreamtime.
Chapter 4 Re-dedication
She was numb. She had sung for him and he had heard her magic and had not been revolted by it. She went inside, got ready for bed, turned the laptop on and found one last song to sing that night. She heard a noise at the door and suddenly he was there.The rosemary in his hands.
"Nimue?"
"Severus.?"
"I picked leaves today. Holly and Hawthorn, Rowan and Oak. All four are powerful, male, fire, Mars and Sun centric. I didn't realize why at the time. Now I do. They combine to form ancient spells of protection and renewal. The new beginning I sought starts here… With you."
He opened his arms and she walked into his embrace.
"Nimue, rosemary is for remembrance. I want to remember what it feels like to hold a woman in my arms again. I want to remember this night forever."
He bent his head to hers and kissed her. Her arms went around his neck and she felt his arms close around her.
He picked her up and carried to the bed. As he set her down he stripped the leaves from the rosemary stalks and scattered them over the bed, he reached into the pocket of his jeans and strewed the fragmented leaves as well. She reached up for him and pulled him down beside her. He touched her hair, her cheek, her jaw line, her throat, and her shoulder. He kissed her passionately tasting the aching need in her response.
Then suddenly he froze. He looked down at her, agony in his dark eyes, and slowly sat up. She sat up also and looked at him.
"Nimue, I will not do this. I want you. But I cannot take you like this. It is wrong. I'm not like that."
"Hush, Severus. It is all right. Hush. Just hold me."
He stripped off his shirt and lay down. He pulled her down to rest her head on his shoulder.
"Do you know how I was raised, Nimue? My parents were the most mismatched people ever to marry. He was a Muggle and she was Pureblood, as proud as if she were Queen. He beat her and me when he drank. He was very seldom sober. When my Mother was gone he would bring other women into their bed. He started bringing them home when she was there, at the end. The Christmas vacation, my last year at Hogwarts he beat her to death and the prostitute he'd brought home. I killed him, Nimue. I fought him and killed him. Dumbledore knew! I know he knew I had done it. He counselled me. He knew it had been instinctive, knew it was self defence, knew also that I had not planned it. He never told the Ministry. He protected me. I swore I would never act like my Father. Never. I want us to explore if our desire can grow into something more. Can you accept that? Please? I want more from this than just physical gratification."
"Yes. Now just hold me. If I could make it better, I would. I will. We can build the relationship without the sex."
"Shh, Nimue. Go to sleep. I'll hold you. "
He kissed her and settled her snugly against his side. He didn't sleep for a long time. His thoughts running wild kept him wide awake.
"Why am I telling her all these things? Am I so starved for companionship that I open like a flower to the sun? Or is it that she hasn't judged me.? That she can see beyond the old Severus Snape to the man I am now? Or am I going crazy like my Father did?"
Eventually sleep overtook him. He dreamed again about Hogwarts, but this time he was back in his seventh year. NEWT testing was almost over and he was trying to study outside, but every loud noise made him jump. He hadn't slept well since his Mother's funeral, and Potter, Black and Pettigrew were tormenting him again. He was gathering his books up to go back to the Slytherin dormitory when Sirius Black had hit him with a jelly legs jinx. His books had gone flying and he had fallen, then suddenly the curse had been gone. He saw a first year girl waving her wand at Sirius Black's back and saying 'Stupefy". She had helped him gather up his books and winked at him before running off. She'd had red blond hair and grey eyes. Then suddenly he was a teacher, his first Potions class. The same girl had dropped her cauldron when she saw him. Then after class, Charlie Weasley was teasing that same girl in the Halls. When Snape had passed them by, Charlie had started chanting "Nimue's got a crush on….. "But he couldn't finish what he was going to say because the girl had hexed him. Snape had ignored them, but he felt her eyes follow him. He saw the way she had looked at him in class, saw a girl who blushed when she saw him. He knew the girl was Nimue.
She woke long before he did. She covered him with the blanket and crept out to make tea. She brought the tray back to the bedroom and set it down on the table next to the bed. Then she brushed a stray lock of his hair off his face. He caught her hand and kissed the palm.
"How did you sleep, Nimue?" he smiled at her.
"The sound of your heart beating was the sweetest music I've ever heard. I was warm, secure, and happy. And you? How did you sleep, sweet Severus?"
"Holding you was as close to paradise as I will likely ever get. When I finally slept, I dreamed of you, of the way you were at Hogwarts. How you hexed both Sirius Black and Charlie Weasley. How you blushed whenever I called on you in class. How you dropped your cauldron in that first class I taught. You did have a crush on me, didn't you? Did you get over it or is this still adolescent adoration?"
"I grew out of the crush but I knew you would be important in my life. I knew I had to keep singing protective spells for you. I felt you would come back into my life. When the Ministry reported you as dead, I knew better."
"Nimue, I have opened up to you as I have never opened up to anyone except Albus Dumbledore. I feel so comfortable with you, so content. I want to keep that feeling. I want to recapture my old skills. I want to start making potions again. Not just nostrums to give the Muggles, but potions that actually can help people."
"Let's just take everything slowly, Severus. We have time. Neither one of us is on a time schedule. We can simply enjoy being together.We have months before Midsummer. Hermione is coming at Lammas for a visit! I just remembered."
"Damn! Oh well, that's months away. We have to get through the winter and other things first. "
"Yes, I'll teach you how to use the CD player and you can change the CDs today in the shop. The customers like the folk music ones best. Donovan, Joan Baez, Arlo Guthrie. Play some of the … never mind. I will put them in order for you. I want you to listen and tell me which you like best."
"I am yours for the whole day. I will play whatever songs you wish me to play on your Muggle machine. And I will catalog the ones I prefer. And I will sweep out the shop and the pavement in front. And whatever other little jobs you can think up. "
"Here is your tea, now get up and take a shower. "
He laughed and did as she requested. They spent that day in the shop and working on her garden. They fixed up a potions laboratory for him in the third bedroom. They created the Christmas theme for the shop and gifts for old friends. They read together, they laughed, they talked about their interests and he told her funny stories about various students over the years. They shopped for a tree and put it up to the traditional English carols. They helped decorate the street where the shop was located and they joined the group of carolers to sing to the tourists. They visited the children's ward at the local hospital and decorated it with the wreaths he had made.
They grew very close over the next months they spent together. January saw his 39th birthday and Nimue gave him potion ingredients. They worked together on potions and charms to sell in the shop. Nimue was sending his potions to St. Mungo's. They became each other's best friend, for months they worked side by side and fell into the easy companionship that grows into love so easily.
It was three days from the Midsummer Festival when Severus asked her to go through a handfasting with him. "It is almost being married. It lasts for a year and a day. If at the end of that year we decide we will not suit or haven't produced a child then we are both free, but if we decide to formalize it or you conceive, then we will marry. Will you do it Nimue? At Lammas? I need you, lass. I love you."
He went to the kitchen to get the wine and the glasses to celebrate as he waited for her answer. The sun was not yet down and they were sitting in the garden. She was stunned, she had not foreseen this. Tears of joy began to fill her eyes.
When he returned with the wine she gave him the answer he wanted so desperately.
"Yes! I will go through the handfasting, Severus. I need you, too. I have been in love with you since my first year at Hogwarts. Remus had told me stories of his friends at school and of the boy those friends tormented. He felt guilty that he wasn't brave enough to stand up to Potter and Black. You were in front of us when the train arrived that year. I almost fell and you instinctively reached out a hand to steady me. My heart was lost at that moment."
"Oh, Nimue, that was twenty one years ago. Now I know why I was drawn here. Your love called to me, your protective songs blended with the ancient magic here and called to me."
" I just found a letter that came today. It's from Hermione, she says Harry has finally persuaded the Ministry to investigate the disappearance of Severus Snape. There is to a meeting at The Ministry on the 9th of July. Harry has been agitating for this for a year. What do we do?"
"Go see him, but before the meeting and before Lammas. That is his birthday too. I think I would like him to stand up with me for the handfasting. Do you think that will work? See if you can find out if the boy is living at Grimmauld Place? Can you get in touch with Hermione any sooner than a letter?"
"Yes, you poor deprived wizard. There are things such as cell phones. Let me call her now."
She went inside and brought out the cell phone. She dialed a number and didn't get an answer so she left voice mail. "Hermione. It's Nimue. Call me back ASAP. I need to know if you, Ron, Ginny and Harry are doing anything for Lammas!? Very Important. Blessed be, love. Bye."
She set the phone down and leaned over to kiss Sev. He took a small bag from his pocket and opened it. He drew out an antique ring. A large rose cut diamond in the center surrounded by peridots and amethysts.
"This has been in my family for generations. It is yours now, as I am." He kissed her lightly and slipped the ring onto her left hand before the cell phone rang.
"Hermione! Hello, you don't know what Harry, Ron and Ginny are doing but you're going to Grimmauld Place tonight. Check with them, I want to invite all of you to a ceremony here at Lammas. Yes, I know it is Harry's birthday. We can combine the parties. I am to be handfasted. No, you don't know THIS man."
Severus laughed and nibbled at her neck.
Nimue continued, "Yes. And Ron is there also? We'll see you a couple of days before Lammas then. Blessed be, Hermione. Bye."
"Are you done talking? I want kisses, wench. What did she say about Harry and Ron?"
"They are both at Grimmauld Place. She is going there later.Oh, my gosh, we are going to have to register for the handfasting, and that means giving our names. Your name ,my darling. We are going to have to tell these folks something. "
He silenced her with a kiss. "Nimue, how many Wizards and Witches do you think are going to watch this Festival?"
"Why, Sev?"
"Because I want to know what would happen if I got up on stage with you and we sang a song together? I can play guitar. Or I just can hold you as we sing."
"Minerva and Poppy will be there, Sev, and If I know Hermione she will have rounded up Harry, Ron and Ginny and probably Arthur and Molly, too. There will be a lot of our kind there."
Sev considered this for a moment and then made a decision. He stood and held out his hand to her.