Author's Note: We are obligated to be mean to the girl guide (Canada has Girl Guides, not Girl Scouts, check it out). Also schwarma is some of the most fantastic foods in the universe. There's a food truck I used to stalk that made the best, greasiest stuff. You should try it. BTW, I resurrected my blog and I'm also posting updates there, so it gets tweeted (I can't manage to get FFN to talk to twitter, it wants to make me a new account instead of using this one). Check my profile for the link and feel free to pester me on Twitter, I'm chapsticklez
She didn't get back to work for three days, and even then Frank kept her on desk duty. Gail had stayed only the one night at Holly's and after that Dov and Chris babysat her. Now the whole station was, which was annoying, and everyone was giving Andy a glare. That was alright, Gail felt. When Nick tried to talk to her though, Gail had enough and told him to screw himself.
Finally left alone, Gail pulled her phone out and tapped Holly's number to text her.
I'm going to kill someone.
It felt very natural to text Holly. And in this moment, Holly might be the only person she could confide in. Maybe Traci, but she was Andy's friend too, and that would be unfair. Was 'too' even the right word? Was McNally her friend any more? Ugh.
It may be better not to tell me that.
Har. You made plans for tonight?
Not exactly.
That was a little vague.
Can I buy you dinner?
There was no immediate reply and Gail put her phone down to answer the desk phone. Why she had to answer calls when she hurt her writing hand made no sense, but it was better than staying at home another day. While she took a call about a noise complaint (no, a delivery truck at noon didn't count), the phone buzzed a few more times. Finally she picked up her phone to read them.
Gail Peck. Are you asking me on a date?
The second was five minutes later.
I promise to wear flannel.
Another few minutes later.
Or I could wear fleece. I bet I can find a sexy fleece pantsuit.
And as Gail considered her reply, a fourth and fifth came in.
I'm sorry, I was trying to be funny.
No more date jokes. That was really bad taste.
Gail smirked.
I was on the phone, you idiot.
She flexed her hand a few times and jumped when Oliver walked up and cheerfully asked, "How's my girl, Peck?" If it was anyone else, Gail might have insulted him, but Oliver was Oliver. She flipped him off. "That's my Peck. You eat?"
"I swear to god, Oliver..." Gail trailed off as her phone buzzed and Oliver held up a bag from her favorite middle eastern restaurant. "Did you buy me schwarma?" She practically salivated.
"And dessert." He pointed back at McNally, who was sheepishly holding a box of donuts. As Gail scowled, Oliver added, "She said she's not eating with us." Her cellphone buzzed again, this time ringing. "Answer that. Me and schwarma will wait in the break room."
Gail glanced at her phone and smiled to see it was Holly. "Don't eat my lunch!" She shouted as she thumbed the phone to answer.
"Really? You asked me out," replied Holly on the phone. Gail could hear Holly's lip quirk into that side smile.
"Oliver brought me lunch. Dinner? Yes or no or are you going to send me six more texts?"
"Shut up! I sent you ... Fine, I sent you six! But you were all radio silence for twenty minutes."
"Hey, I have a very important job, taking in noise complaints and filing papers." Internally, Gail thought how it was Canada's tax dollars at work.
"My tax dollars at work." Holly echoed Gail's thought. "I'm actually busy tonight," sighed Holly. "Not for dinner, I mean, but I won't be free till late."
"I can eat out late." The moment the words left her mouth, Gail blushed. Holly laughed. "Oh shut up, you know what I mean."
"I really don't think I do." Before Gail replied, Holly went on. "Nine PM late."
"Oh that's not late. Besides, I'm just on phones till at least next week."
Holly's voice got softer, "How is your hand?"
Damn it, why did that make her feel warm? "Better. I can flip people off." The bright laughter delighted Gail. "So nine. Should I meet you at your place?"
"Oh you know where I live?"
"Idiot, I spent the night there. I remember. Cop."
"I'll allow it. Okay, pick me up at nine and take me somewhere nice."
"Wear your best flannel," joked Gail and she hung up to Holly laughing. She could feel the smile on her face and turned only to see McNally standing there like a hurt puppy, holding the box of donuts. "What is with you?" She snapped at McNally.
The other cop shuffled. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry-"
Gail cut her off, "Don't okay. Just don't." This wasn't the time or the place. She took the donuts. "I don't want to talk to you about it, I don't want to hear shitty excuses. Okay? You screwed up. Take him, deal with it, I actually don't even care anymore." The words came out of her mouth, and Gail was shocked to realize how true it was. As McNally stepped forward, Gail held up her burnt wrist. "No. Do not hug me."
McNally's eyes locked on the wrist. "Okay. I just... I don't know what to do," she whispered.
It was mean, but Gail smiled thinly. "Well. That's your problem, McNally."
At least Oliver just wanted to talk about shopping for weapons.
Holly was ignoring her friends. It wasn't that they were annoying, it was that she'd finally pegged that she had more than a crush on Gail Peck, and was stuck in a rut. So the fact that she was at dinner with two of her oldest, best, friends, who were practically family, wasn't enough of a distraction from the memory of that beautiful, pained, face, sleeping in her guest bed.
So much of Holly just wanted to kiss it and make it better. But she knew that would never be enough to chase the demons out of Gail's head. They'd spent a couple other nights at Holly's since then, all sober and undrugged, but each night Gail had left a light on in the guest room. Holly knew the six-pack of nightlights in her purse wouldn't fix it, but she'd grabbed them anyway. Would Gail appreciate it or be defensive about it? Impossible to tell. Maybe she'd make one of those dark jokes about it, the ones that made Holly laugh deeply.
"Earth to Holly," Rachel said loudly.
"Sorry, I was thinking about ... work." Partly true. Gail was at her work, right?
"So the date?"
Holly's mind was blank. The only date she could think of was Gail's disaster series of blind dates, which she'd ditched to hang out with the coolest chick ever. Her words. "Sure?" she replied, hesitantly.
"Great, she can meet you at the bar by the station!"
Danger! Danger! What had Holly just agreed to? "Uh, wait, what?"
"You, blind date, next Tuesday. Get your head out of the cadaver, Holls!"
Holly stared at Rachel, frowning a little, "Right! That's fine. Tuesday is good."
Dinner went on, and Holly found herself feeling entirely uncomfortable. She used to enjoy blind dates, meeting new people was fun. But she couldn't remember the last time she'd had a date at all that wasn't with Gail.
This meant a blind date was a good thing. Get back out into the dating pool. So why did it feel like she was about to be cheating on Gail?
When Gail had figured out that Nick and McNally were getting it on, she'd been mad. Not that they'd done it. Hell, she thought they'd done it while undercover. No, she'd been angry at them for lying and hiding, but in a way somewhat grateful. Now she didn't have to ditch Nick when he got too close. But for the first time she could ever remember, Gail felt jealous.
What the hell was Holly doing on a date!?
They'd texted that morning, Gail inviting Holly to play trivia crap with her friends, or not, and Holly simply said she was busy. Gail had assumed, stupidly, that meant work. But no, no, it meant a date with a kind of hot chick. For unknown reasons, it made Gail irrationally jealous! And why the Black Penny?
She finally gave up staring death glares at them, right around the time Dov wrapped up the game. When he and Chloe started kissing between disgustingly tender replies, she snapped. "I'm going outside."
As she stormed out, she caught a weird, guilty, look from Holly. Really? Now you're having second thoughts? With a snarl, Gail yanked her coat on and let the blast of cool air calm her a little.
"I didn't know you were such a bad loser at trivia," remarked Chris, shivering as he got his jacket on.
"You think I really give a damn about Dov's stupid game?" Gail dug her hands into her jacket, letting the oversized bulk hide her from Chris. In as far as exes went, he was the least objectionable. Simple, unaffecting, and straightforward, he was easy to get along with, but not someone Gail had connected with on any deep level. It was always been, to her at least, a relationship doomed towards brevity.
Looking at him now, she felt nothing. No pang of loss, or regret for cutting ties that quickly. That said, he had also evolved into the role of friend. Chris offered up a sad smile, and Gail was reminded of his recent loss of fatherhood. "I never thanked you and Dov."
She blinked. "For the totally lame cheer-you-up party?"
"It really helps, you know? Having people who care."
That sent a pang into Gail's heart and her eyes drifted back to the Penny. She could see Holly, and was strangely gratified to find her looking less happy. "I did it for the booze, Chris." Gail stomped her feet, "If Epstein is making out with that fluff head, I'm going to be pissed."
Chris looked in, "No, he's talking to Andy. Hi, Chloe."
Blinking, Gail was presented with the happy, perky, puppy: Chloe. "Hi, Chris. I'm headed home." She raised herself on her toes and kissed his cheek. Then she hesitated.
"Don't," warned Gail.
Chloe rocked on her heels. "You looked unhappy."
"Trivia's boring." She turned on her heel and started walking to home. Dimly she heard Chris asking her to stop.
Yes, she was unhappy. The one person in the world she really, truly, liked was on a date. If Holly liked that chick, she'd stop seeing Gail as much, and that would be back to what it was. But as much as Gail wanted to pretend it was about that, she knew it wasn't just friendship anymore. Gail stopped at the corner and watched the light change.
Crap, she thought to herself. What if these were actual feelings for someone? They were weird and new, but Gail recognized them as more than what she felt for Nick or Chris. She rubbed her face and heard footsteps behind her.
"Hey, Gail wait up." Dov. He was huffing as he fell into step beside her. Chris came up on the other side, but Dov just seemed content to walk with them.
Less attuned to the situation, Chris asked, "You okay?" Before she could answer, he ran on, "Stupid question, right."
She sulked. Gail knew she was being petulant, but for some reason Holly on a date-date bothered her. Really bothered her. She didn't talk to the boys at all, save to claim first shower, and holed up in her room. Normally around now, she or Holly would text each other. Either it would be a complaint about the day, or a check-in to see if the other made it home okay.
Gail tapped in a message asking about the date, and then deleted it. Twice. The third time she just asked if they could have dinner tomorrow, but she deleted that as well. Finally she gave up, turned on her closet light, and went to bed. There wasn't a way she way in love with Holly, it was just friendship. Because more than that was terrifying.
The kiss stunned her. Not because Gail was good at it, but because of how it made her feel. Holly was rooted to the spot, terrified and thrilled at the same time. Here was this woman she'd been crushing on for months, kissing her. It was totally Gail's idea too! All Holly had wanted was to make sure Gail was okay, but then she found out Gail had been shot at! Her Gail was shot at! Someone wanted to kill cops, and she could lose someone she cared about.
How did people live in that world? Gail took it as a matter of fact, that her job was to run into danger and save people. People like Holly. Which just made her feel horrible about that stupid, stupid, blind date. And then the babble went on overdrive. Holly knew she babbled when she was scared or nervous, and yet no one had ever stopped her with a kiss before.
It was nothing like when Holly kissed her, too. This was a real, get-into-your-pants kind of kiss. No peck (hah!) on the lips but a real, almost hungry, kiss. The way Holly had always dreamed about being kissed. "I'm sorry," whispered Gail, her face was still right there. Their foreheads were almost touching, and her hands still on Holly's face. "You just- you just had to stop talking."
It was the softest she'd ever heard Gail's voice. Tender. It made Holly want to kiss Gail more, something she really hadn't thought was possible. "I won't say another word," she whispered back and leaned in slightly, wishing with all her heart Gail was on the same page.
They kissed again and Holly's nerdtacular inner self cheered. It was like Gail had been starving herself from kissing Holly, but now it was free and oh god, it was everything Holly had dreamed about. Gail didn't stop touching her, too, her soft hands cupping Holly's face. Holly lost total track of time, but when Gail leaned away, it felt too soon, and Holly clutched Gail's shoulders. "You really shouldn't be here, Holly," Gail sighed, resting her forehead against Holly. Before Holly could really decide if she wanted to be upset, Gail added, "If someone's shooting at cops, this is the least safe place."
Oh. That made sense. "I'm sorry."
"No, no," Gail kissed her, lightly, again. "Don't be sorry, please." She sighed. "I need to go. Oliver will be looking for me."
Holly nodded, "I don't want you to get shot at."
That made Gail huff a laugh. "It's my job." She caressed Holly's face. "I'll call you after, okay?" Sniffling back the fear, Holly pulled Gail in to hug. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'll be okay."
If she held on to Gail, them she wouldn't be able to be shot at. She never wanted to let her go. "You have to go..." Her voice was barely over a whisper.
"Yeah, I have to go." Gail stroked her hair. "I'll be safe."
"Please be safe." It took monumental effort, but Holly let go.
Gail nodded slightly and then leaned in to kiss her again, "I'll be safe." Another kiss. A deep kiss. A great kiss.
Oh that was bad. Holly didn't want to stop kissing. It took all her willpower to step back. "I'm going to, um, wait. A minute. You go, and ..." Gail nodded, looking a little blitzed, and took a deep breath before stepping out.
Holly covered her face. Oh this was so, so bad. She was totally falling for Gail. Completely and utterly, she was past crush and into that place where all she wanted to do was touch her and hold her. Hell, they didn't even need to have sex, just getting to be able to be with Gail, when both of them knew what they wanted, was going to be satisfying for days. No... No, she wanted more of the kissing and touching.
Right. Go back to work. Holly fixed her glasses. Catching a glimpse of herself in the glass, she saw she was way too happy. Bad Holly. Taking a breath, Holly pulled her shit together and walked out... Right into a cop talking to Gail. Damn.
"Hey!" He smiled brightly at her.
"Hi," smiled Holly, and she turned to leave. Behind her she heard the man identify her as Gail's friend from forensics.
Then Gail's voice, forced and too loud, bounced down the hallway. "The courier was sick, Oliver! If you really must know."
At least Holly wasn't the only one having trouble keeping cool.
This is one of the shorter chapters in the whole fic. I thought about making it longer, but this break point, where Gail positively embarrasses herself, was too right.