A/N: Okay, so I reread my last chapter before writing this, and basically, it sucked! I'm too lazy to go back and change it, but ya, sorry about that. Hopefully this one is better! In my defense, I will say that writing a romance about Snape and trying to keep him in character is a whole lot harder than it looks, I really struggle as I'm writing it. Hopefully this is good though and presents a good challenge that I can overcome as a writer :)

Disclaimer: While I love to twist precious Severus, I don't own any of the characters, quite sad, I know!

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The weekend arrived with all the students in third year and above in a titter. It was the first Hogsmeade visit of the year.

Both Hermione and Snape were required to supervise. Hermione woke up in the morning feeling rather excited about getting out of the castle for a day. As she was not a student, she could technically leave at any time, but she was kept so busy with helping Snape that she never did.

Snape woke up with quite the opposite sentiment. His scowl deepened as he considered the prospect of looking around constantly for nasty children going where they shouldn't.

As he was alone in his room, he indulged in one of his secret passions, muggle music. He found it to be such a release. He blasted "In the End" by Linkin Park, thinking about how it applied to his life:

One thing, I don't know why

It doesn't even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind

I designed this rhyme, to remind myself of a time when

I tried so hard

In spite of the way you were mocking me

Acting like I was part of your property

Remembering all the times you fought with me

I'm surprised it got so (far)

Things aren't the way they were before

You wouldn't even recognize me anymore

Not that you knew me back then

But it all comes back to me (in the end)

You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart

What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time I

Tired so hard

And got so far

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

I've put my trust in you

Pushed as far as I can go

And for all this

There's only one thing you should know

Tried so hard

And got so far

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

(If you don't know this song, I'd suggest you'd listen to it, I wasn't planning on putting it in, but I was listening to it as I wrote this, and decided it fit. It's In the End by Linkin Park)

He had been showering, but as he heard the lyrics and thought about his pathetic excuse for a life, he collapsed on the cold floor of the shower shaking. Tears dripped onto his hooked nose.

How could he continue like this? Everything inside him hurt. No one cared about him, they all used him. He spied on Voldemort, but he was defeated a few years ago. He was a good Potions Professor and could also make some beneficial potions for the wizarding community, so people kept him around. But what else?

Nothing.

Snape sat on the cold tiles trying to repress his dark thoughts and compose himself enough to go to Hogsmeade. He got out of the shower and cast a spell on his eyes to make sure they did not show any redness from his crying.

He saw the time and knew that he had missed breakfast. He sighed, going to Hogsmeade on an empty stomach did not feel exactly appealing.

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Snape strolled into the Great Hall to see all the students in a bunch with Filch checking names off and Hermione looking over all of them and talking to a few.

Snape surprised himself as he unexpectedly thought that she had grown into a beautiful young woman. He tried to shake the thought out of his head as he watched her laugh, smile, and look carefree.

Snape walked closer to her until she looked over and noticed him.

"Professor Snape, how are you today?"

Se suddenly felt defensive, what if his anti-redeye spell had worn of.

"Fine," he snapped, "why wouldn't I be?"

Hermione had grown accustomed to his moods by now though, so she simply laughed.

"Lighten up, sir, you should try and enjoy yourself today, plus I noticed you weren't at breakfast, so I brought you these two pieces of toast, hopefully you'll be a bit more cheerful?"

"Thanks," he was rather surprised at her thoughtfulness, "I don't particularly enjoy trips to Hogsmeade where I constantly have to watch children participating in frivolity."

"Don't then, go to Madame Rosmerta's with me, we can check on the students after a while, then do some shopping, you don't have to watch them the whole time you know. You can do what you wish during this trip too."

"I guess."

"Come on, spend the day with me, we'll have fun."

"If you insist."

"Wonderful."

They gathered the kids around and then left for Hogsmeade. While all the students instantly ran to get candy and Butterbeers, Hermione led Snape to get a firewhiskey.

They both sipped theirs, not drinking much.

Hermione glanced at Snape, "habit from the war?"

"Yes, you too?"

"Yes, I'm so used to never drinking alcohol to make sure no one could ever get information from me while drunk that I have never drunk a full glass."

"I've drunk much more than a full glass before, but once I joined the Order and helped as a spy, I had to stop. I was in much too dangerous a situation to risk getting drunk."

"It is interesting how old habits die hard, part of me wants to drink this whole glass and I know it's not enough to make me drunk, but the habitual side is telling me that it could make me a tad fuzzy, and who knows what I might reveal."

"Mine goes through the same thing."

They both sighed, thinking about how much the war had affected their lives, mostly in more serious ways than not being able to drink much alcohol.

"Professor, you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but what was it like being a spy?"

Snape glanced at her, eyes narrowed, as if deciding whether he could trust her.

"It was hell. I had to be constantly alert, could never show any emotions, and had to constantly be in control. It was terrible. I could never show complete support to either side. I had to give information both ways, to keep Voldemort's trust, and that nearly killed me. I'm pretty sure I treated your class the worst just because I had nothing left in me to give you."

Hermione was shocked, she had not really expected him to answer, but she was glad he did.

"I'm so sorry Professor, that sounds terrible."

Snape suddenly turned harsh again, "I don't need your apologies Granger, I did what had to be done. I was useful, and now it's over." He rose, "I'm going to check on the students." He stalked out with his robes billowing behind him.

Hermione sighed, at least they'd had a small breakthrough. She really wanted to befriend him. She sensed that there was more going on inside of him than what he displayed. She knew she had internal scars from the war, but with the help of friends and family, she had dealt with most of them. As Snape did not seem the type to open up to anyone, added to the fact about his lack of friends and family, Hermione wondered if he had ever dealt with his scars. She thought he might be ignoring them, unknowingly letting them grow and consume his life.

Hermione hoped she could help him, before it was too late. With that last thought, she got up and went off to find Snape.

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She found him scolding a group of fourth years who had ventured too close to the Shrieking Shack.

"Detention for all three of you, my office at seven tonight."

"Yes sir."

The students scampered off. Hermione approached Snape, "what were they doing?"

"Trying to sneak into the Shrieking Shack."

"If only they knew there was a much easier entrance from Hogwarts."

"Yes, what great possibilities that holds, I could be knocked out once again from three careless students," he stated sarcastically.

"You know we never meant to hurt you, I was as surprised as you, I wasn't sure what I had done, I'm pretty sure I just continually muttered 'I just attacked a teacher' over and over. Of course, there were times later on when I would have done anything to have an excuse to attack you again."

"Oh yes, like when you grew beaver teeth?"

"I was so mad at you then, you completely insulted me!"

Snape had a small hint of a smile on his face. "What was I supposed to do?"

"Perhaps help me?"

"But then it would have held up the class, and then I would have had to help you to the infirmary, where when I insulted you, you went there yourselves. But of course, you probably would have liked to hear the insanely colorful language that came out of Potter's and Weasley's mouths after you left."

Hermione began to laugh, "I can just imagine."

The rest of the day was spent pleasantly as Hermione attempted to show Snape how to enjoy himself. They returned to Hogwarts with the rest of the students, feeling rather content.

Alright, that's all for this chapter. I'm off to camp for a week tomorrow, so it'll be a little while until my next update. Review please!