Author's note: Sorry for the late update! I could not get this chapter to cooperate! I was finally able to get it to submit to me for the most part. It's still not where I want it, but it's good enough! Hopefully you guys are also think so!

~DinosaurTealight

The First Human Chapter 4: You haven't sacrificed anything...yet.

Yato made his way over to the nearest park and stood underneath a tree. He didn't actually have anything to take care of. He just had a lot on his mind, and he liked parks so why not think here?

He leaned his back against the trunk. It was hard and lumpy, but comfortable enough. He watched as couples finished off their picnics and as parents pushed their children on the swings.

Usually these sites made him smile and made him remember why he did so many favors for humans. This time, though, it just felt like a reminder that he couldn't have real relationships and family. He was still a lowly god that could disappear with any passing moment. He was hanging on by a thread; by the memory of a human.

"I can't let her go." he decided out loud. He's known for awhile now that it is important that he do something about her condition, but... she means everything. She means success and family and happiness... and love.

"But you have to." A familiar successful god appeared from behind the tree. "You have to let her go."

Ugh what does he want now? "What, are you stalking me or something?"

"You have to let her go." Tenjin repeated calmly.

Despite its calm delivery that sentence cut Yato's insides like a hot knife through butter. "Yeah?..." His voice cracked in response, but he still attempted to hide the stinging of those words behind rolled eyes and a cocky attitude. "Why, oh wise one? Please explain this to me again."

He has had this conversation many times with Tenjin in the past and frankly he was sick and tired of it. He couldn't just give her up.

He...loved her. Shit.

"You must be able to provide what you can for each and every request from each and every human. It should never be about you or what you can gain. It's all about sacrifices. Denying yourself love is an important sacrifice."

Wasn't he already doing that? Making these sacrifices? "Uh yeah I'm working on it. I've been working on it. Thanks." Yato crossed his arms in front of his chest in a defensive position, waiting for this to be over.

"Denying yourself love is one of the ultimate selfless sacrifices. It proves a god worthy of remembrance. Nothing is about you or your happiness, Yato, it's about your constituency and what you can do for them.

"Yeah yeah heard ya the first time. Besides, I sacrifice things all the time." Over the years Yato had cleaned disgusting bathrooms, rescued feral cats, and stopped ruthless bullies, all with the satisfaction of his customers in mind. He sacrificed his time and energy to fulfil even the smallest request. He never half-assed any request no matter how small. Doesn't that mean anything at all?

"You haven't sacrificed anything...yet."

The strain on the word 'yet' was like a hard smack to the face. Are you kidding me? "I do so much for these selfish people! I deserve more than I get in return!" Yato couldn't help but raise his voice. He resented Tenjin's implication that everything he has done thus far has been meaningless. "I should have millions of shrines for the slave work I do every day! I deserve to be selfish!"

"Don't be selfish." Tenjin continued his lecture. "It is not becoming of a god. Only humans get to be selfish. Only humans are allowed to have human emotions. Don't you see?"

"What?! What about Bishamon?!" Yato dug his fingernails into his palms as he clenched his fists, as if digging to find excuses for his poor behavior. "I can't have human emotions or do anything for myself, but she gets to PMS all over the place and hunt me down for her own pleasure while I run for my life?!" He spoke through his teeth now, and before he knew it he was punching the tree trunk with every word. "And what about her and Kazuma?! She's got him drooling at her feet like a lost hungry puppy constantly!" The bark bit back in retaliation causing his knuckles to bleed.

Why wasn't he allowed to have human emotions when he could physically feel like a human? Why wasn't he allowed this bit of happiness he fought to obtain for so long, but could feel the sting of a paper cut or the agony of a broken bone? Wonderful, Yato thought to himself, I can get kicked in the balls, but I can't cry about it? He brought his hand to his mouth to slow the bleeding. His blood tasted bitter, matching his attitude toward this whole predicament.

"Bishamon is selfless - " Tenjin started.

"Selfless?! How the fuck is she selfle - "

"Bishamon is selfless, because everything she does is for someone else! She hunted you down not for herself, but for her family, her regalia, and with the fear that you would revert back to your past and kill for fun. She loves Kazuma for him, not for herself. If she let him go, what would become of him? She wages war for the right reasons, not for personal gain. She is different from you. Everything you do is for yourself."

Yato winced at these words, these swords, pointing right at his heart. He turned away from Tenjin to hide his pain. "Whatever."

He wanted to say everything was under control. He wanted to give Tenjin a thumbs up and his classic no-care-in-the-world smile, but it was far from okay. Hiyori had too much of a hold on him now. She crawled her way into his heart and furnished it with wonderful memories, laughter, joy... happiness. How could he not love her after everything? He needed her around. She reminded him that he was good, and that he could accomplish great things despite his murderous past. She didn't care about that, and it reminded him that everyone needs a second chance.

He can't let all of that go. How could Tenjin just expect him to say goodbye?

"Her body will decay." Tenjin continued despite Yato's silence. "She will become corrupted if she stays in her spirit form. She will become evil, soulless, mindless. She will want to corrupt you. She will corrupt you," Tenjin grabbed Yato by the shoulders and made it so they looked each other in the eye, "and it will be your fault."

My fault? "How would it be my fault?"

"When you only think of yourself everything is your fault." Tenjin stated calmly. "When you only think of others, nothing is your fault."

What the hell does that mean? Yato jerked his shoulders in an attempt to escape the death grip, but it only made Tenjin's fingers dig more urgently into Yato's arms. "Is that what you want, Yato?!" Tenjin was practically shaking him now. "Do you want the woman you love to become a corrupted empty shell with you to blame? It may have already begun. She has been in her phantom form more and more often."

"I get it!" Yato spat out. He brushed Tenjin off his shoulders and gained his composure before he continued "Sheesh, no need to get your diaper in a bunch, old man! That ain't gonna happen. Besides, you think a God of Calamity like me could even love a human? You know me." He flashed Tenjin the most convincing playful smile he could muster through his feelings of frustration and rejection.

Yato figured the best way to redeem himself from reacting so poorly before was to act as though he did all of it to mess with Tenjin. He put his hands behind his head, taking a relaxed and confident posture for emphasis. "Talk about over-reacting. You'd think you had lost your favorite shinki or something."

Tenjin narrowed his eyes. "Cut her ties, Yato."

Damn, he saw right through that.

"You can deny your feelings all you want, but they are there. And if they are not there now they will be. It's inevitable. It's a test you must pass, and the only way to pass is too let her go. Think of her for once and not yourself."

"Yeah I'm taking care of it alright?" Yato waved Tenjin away signaling that the superior god should leave right about now.

With that Tenjin walked away, leaving Yato with his thoughts.