Dark
"This is ridiculous. It's dark in here. Let's just turn on the light."
"What?! No! And keep it down, why don't ya?"
"Why not? There is no logical reason for us to be in here, unable to see, when there is a perfectly operational light switch less than one foot away. And why should I be quiet?"
"Logical?!? You want to bring up logic when the only reason we are in here is because you decided that this was the year to 'participate in an anthropologically significant ritual'? I've heard it all now."
"Well, it seems—"
"—Whoa, stop right there."
"But I'm not going anywhere"
"Stop!! AAHHHH! It is NOT an anthropologically significant ritual; it is April Fools' Day. Now, can you explain to me why you hijacked me on my way into the lab? And more importantly, why are we in the storage closet? I can't wait to see how you logic this all out to sound like the actions of a sane person."
"It's really quite simple, Booth. Traditionally in our culture, on the first day of the month of April, individuals and/or groups endeavor to participate in deception of others, generally with a humorous intent."
"Storage closet, Bones, storage closet!! What does that have to do with us in a storage closet?!?!"
"I would like to endeavor to deceive Angela today, and I am enlisting your help. I assumed that as my partner and friend, you would be willing to participate, but if you're not, then I will need to devise another plan."
"You still haven't told me what THIS plan is!?"
"Angela always assumes that you and I are engaged in a sexua—"
"Ok, understood, we really don't have to talk about that right now. Or ever, actually."
"Actually, it is the basis for my humorous plan today. I think that we should lead her to believe that we are—"
"Stop," Booth said, cutting Brennan off.
"…then she will make a big deal about it, but we will tell her tomorrow that we really aren't. It will be quite funny and maybe she will refrain from making assumptions about our relationship in the future."
"That's not funny, that's just mean. She would be ecstatic today, and crushed tomorrow. Besides, we couldn't make her believe it anyway. She's got that power, you know. I think she's borderline psychic. She just…knows things."
"I'm a very good actress. I believe we could portray ourselves in a sufficient manner to achieve my desired outcome. I don't understand why it is so important to her anyway. We're just partners. I don't see why she doesn't understand that."
"Do you have a specific plan? Knowing you, you've probably got a script typed up down to the minute for the rest of the day. I don't memorize lines, Bones, I'm more of a spontaneous kind of guy. Moreover, I don't think this is a good idea. I'm not sure I want any part in this."
"Actually, Booth, I was kind of hoping you would help come up with a plan. I know that I tend to be blunt about some things, but I think for this to work a certain degree of subtlety will be necessary. After all, we want Angela to believe we are…OW! What was that for?"
"I told you we don't need to talk about that. Ever. And I can't see you, it's dark in here. I didn't mean to hit your arm hard, just trying to stop you from, you know, bringing it up again."
"I wanted to turn on the light. You're the one who wouldn't let me. Why was that? Anyway, I was just saying that we would like to make Angela believe…that…not everyone else in the Jeffersonian."
"I didn't want to draw attention to the fact that someone was in the storage closet, that's why we can't turn on the light. I see what you're saying about everyone else in the Jeffersonian, we wouldn't want that. Still, I beg the question. WHY are we in the storage closet right now?"
"Booth, it's physically impossible to see the words I am saying. Sound waves cannot be seen—"
"Stop with the science lesson! Seriously. I'm about to walk out of here…well, as soon as I can find the door knob, if you don't tell me, right now, why we are in here."
"Because I needed to talk to you in private about my plan. You know Angela always comes in my office to talk to me in the mornings. She always interrupts our coffee time."
"We could have closed the door."
"She would have seen you through the window, and known something was up. We very rarely close the door and whenever we do, she interrogates me for an hour afterward to find out what we were discussing. I believed it to be a much better option to have this discussion in the storage closet where there are no windows and no one would see us."
"So this wasn't part of your plan for Angela?"
"No, why do you ask that? I don't understand."
"Well, Bones, wouldn't Ange and Hodgins use the storage closet for…you know…"
"No…I don't know…??"
"AHHH, Bones!!! They'd come in here in the middle of the day to…make out…or….whatever!"
"Oh."
"Yeah, 'oh.' So, if somebody were to need printer ink this morning…and found us in here…"
"OOOHHHH!!! Well, that would only work for the plan if Angela were the one that found us. We should get out of here before somebody else finds us."
"My thoughts exactly. Besides, I don't think I'd want to help you out with this. Angela is your best friend, and this is just mean. How about I help you rig something in her office this afternoon or something? You know, just a little something, kind of funny, that can be cleaned up quick and won't ruin your friendship."
"I suppose that would be acceptable, though I still contend that my plan would have been humorous."
"Well, it's a good thing I'm here to stop you. We'll just get you started in this 'anthropologically significant ritual' nice and slow. You can work your way up to some grand plan in maybe…five or ten years."
With that, Booth's hand found the door knob. He twisted it, and pushed. The door didn't budge. He tried again, throwing his shoulder against the door. Nothing.
"Booth, can't you get the door open? Here, let me try."
"Bones, I can get the door. I'm an FBI agent, for God's sake!"
"That has absolutely no correlation with your abilities, or lack thereof, to open the door! Here, let's just turn on the light, so we can see what's going on."
Brennan's hand flipped the switch. Nothing.
"Bones, it's still dark in here. Can't you turn on a light switch?"
"I am perfectly capable of turning on the light. I have three doctorates. Statistically speaking, I far exceed the minimum necessary capa—"
"Jeez! Stop! I was just picking on you."
Booth reached his hand out, groping to find the light switch. Finding it, he flipped it up and down several times, but nothing happened. He tried the door once again. The door remained closed.
Brennan moved up behind Booth. He could feel her hot breath against his ear.
"I thought you said you could open the door?"
That was it. Booth had had enough. He whirled around, to turn his back against the door to face Bones and snap off an angry retort in her direction. But with his movement, she stumbled, and landed against him, chest to chest, their faces dangerously close to one another. With the light off, neither could see each other, but both gazed in the direction they knew the other's face to be.
Neither could say who moved first—when their lips met, they came together tentatively, with a soft caress, and it grew into a deep passionate dance of tongues and lips.
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
Angela stood, leaned up against the railing that outlined the platform. But she had her back to the platform, staring at the storage closet door, which was less than ten feet away from her.
Hodgins walked up next to Ange, handing her a cup of tea and propping himself up against the rail.
"So, how's it going?"
"Oh, it's gone perfectly. I really thought I was going to have to finagle something to get them both into the storage closet, but as luck would have it, Bren drug him in there as soon as he walked in the door this morning."
"So you think they were taking matters into their own hands?" Hodgins grinned at the thought that Ange's plan may have not been necessary at all, that they had a realization regarding their relationship already.
"Oh, no, she had some plan to make me think they were together for April Fools and wanted to talk to him about it."
"How do you know that?"
"Well, the storage closet isn't sound proof, Hodgie."
"Oh, then I guess it's a good thing you locked the storage closet door. I wonder why they haven't turned the lights on?" The crack of open area between the door and floor was still dark.
"Oh, I took the bulb out this morning when I was rigging the door to lock. They're trapped. Together. In the dark storage closet." Ange grinned wickedly. This truly was the best April Fools Day she had ever had.
"Well, they're going to start banging on the door and someone is going to let them out soon enough."
"I don't think so. They quit talking about ten minutes ago. It's been mostly quiet ever since."
"What do you mean, "mostly quiet"?
Just then, there was a noise from the closet.
"Was that a knock on the door?"
"Well, if you ask me, that was the sound of some body backing up into the door. After all, it's hard to see where you're going in the dark!"
"So, when do we let them out."
"When we were together in the storage closet, how long did you want to stay in there?"
"All day."
"Ok, I'll let them out when we leave this evening."
"Ange, it's only 9 a.m."
"I know, now maybe she'll think better of trying to plot against me…and more importantly cut the phrase "just partners" from her vocabulary. I'm going to do some work in my office, care to join me? The storage closet is right behind your station, after all."
Hodgins' eyes grew large. He took one last glance at the door and his station, noting their proximity and ran off to catch up with Angela.