I Need You For Hope

Chapter Four

That night, Harry dreamed of his parents. They were waiting for him in the darkness, welcoming him. They told him the blackness was where he belonged, where he would finally find some peace, where they were waiting for him. He stayed there, in the abyss, the entire night, sleeping more heavily then he had ever slept before. In fact, when morning came, Harry did not wake, he didn't want to. His sleep was so deep that not even his dorm mates could wake him. Ron was worried, but not so much that he thought his friend was in danger. Harry was breathing properly, and he was always turning away from him when Ron tried to shake him awake. Plus, Harry was snoring. Ron didn't think there was anything wrong with the bloke if he was snoring.

" He has been really tired lately." Neville said from where he stood by the door, ready to head down to breakfast. " Maybe would should just let him sleep, and tell the professors he's sick."

" Yeah, we'll do that. But let's check up on him as soon as we get a break." The boys agreed and they all headed down to breakfast. On his way to the Gryffindor table, Ron caught sight of Malfoy, and noticed the blonde frowning as he, Neville, Dean, and Seamus entered. Ron, at first, thought it was simply because Malfoy was a git and still held a grudge against Gryffindors, but halfway though breakfast, he caught sight of Malfoy again, and he was still frowning, but not at their table. He kept glancing at the door, as if waiting for someone. Ron smirked. He had a pretty good idea who Malfoy was looking for.

" Hey Mione." Ron nudged his girlfriend under the table. " Check out Malfoy." Hermione wiped her mouth with a napkin before turning around to peer at the Slytherin table. Malfoy's bangs were hanging over his eyes, so she couldn't see his face clearly. But his body language was screaming agitation, and in the span of a minute, he snapped at Pansy three times when she wouldn't stop hanging off his arm; usually he just ignored the pug-faced witch. And every other second Malfoy kept glancing towards the Great Hall doors.

" He's looking for Harry." Then she smirked. " I knew it. He fancy's Harry!"

" Shouldn't we be more worried about that?"

" Don't see why. Harry's a big boy. He can handle, Malfoy. Besides, I would say it's a long time coming. I mean, isn't that why you're taking it so well? It's Malfoy, yet the thought doesn't exactly make you angry at all."

" I guess I'm just tired of all the fighting here in school." Ron looked up at the enchanted ceiling, a thoughtful frown crossing his face. " He's still a git. Always will be…But, Harry has always reacted to him in some way. That's what Harry needs. To react. He hasn't been doing much of anything lately."

Hermione nodded. " I can't believe you guys just let him sleep. He needs to go to class. Only a few more months until N.E.W.T.s you know." Ron groaned, and tried to keep his shins protected under the table. Hermione's glare told him she wasn't averse to kicking some sense into him.

" C'mon, guys! Don't want to be late for class." Seamus called, much to Ron's relief.

" Well, let's go. You don't want to be late for Potions, do you, Mione?" Ron grinned cheekily at her. Ron and Hermione were surprised when Malfoy stopped them just outside of the Great Hall.

" Where's Potter?" The Malfoy heir looked almost frantic, and there were dark circles under his eyes as if he didn't get an ounce of sleep all night.

" Hello to you too, Malfoy." Hermione said. Malfoy blinked rapidly for a minute before nodding.

" Good morning, Granger, Weasley. Now, where's Potter?"

Ron might've fallen from shock if Hermione hadn't placed a helping hand on his back. " Why do you want to know where Harry is?"

" I just do." Malfoy ground out. It was clear he was trying to remain civil and keep his patience. Ron saw and understood this.

" We left him sleeping. The bloke's tired."

" Is he alright?"

" You're starting to scare me, Malfoy."

Malfoy sneered at him. " That's better." Ron said in relief. It was really creepy to see Draco Malfoy acting all human.

" Just tell me he's okay."

" I'm sure he's fine, Malfoy."

" But why is he still sleeping? Did you talk to him?" Draco waved away Blaise and Pansy who were approaching the blonde. Blaise looked interested, but Pansy had a nasty sneer on her face when she looked at the Gryffindors. Blaise grabbed Pansy and hauled her away, before the witch could start spewing out unhelpful and unintelligent remarks.

" No, he wouldn't wake up."

" And you think that's all right?!"

" Merlin, Malfoy. Calm down. I'll go check on Harry before I go to potions. Will you tell Professor Snape for me?" Hermione asked. Malfoy nodded in a grateful manner, before stalking off towards the stairs leading towards the dungeons.

" Do you really think we should trust him? This may be some elaborate joke he's playing on us."

" No, Ron, I don't trust him. You can't just start trusting someone like Malfoy in such a short period of time. And by short I mean years. But I don't think this is a joke either. Malfoy is always composed, even when he's being malicious. He wasn't composed just now. He seemed genuinely worried. I'll just go check on Harry, you get to class."

" Yes, ma'am."

Hermione quickly made her way up to Gryffindor tower and into the seventh year boys; dorm, where Harry was still sleeping. She sat on the edge of his bed, staring at his pale face.

An overwhelming sadness pressed down upon her as she gazed at his face. " You don't smile anymore." She whispered softly, pushing his hair away from his face. " You don't laugh anymore. You don't talk…you don't even cry. I wish you would talk to me, Harry." Suddenly, Hermione became very angry. " You're letting Voldemort win by wasting away!" She slapped his face before she could stop herself. Then leapt back from the bed, her mouth covered with her hand, shocked that she'd let her frustration manifest into violence. Harry groaned and his eyes opened. He stared blankly up at the canopy over his bed, and only turned his head when he heard a soft sob.

" Hermione? What are you doing here? Hey, what's wrong?" Harry sat up and peered at the clock. He was late for potions. Damn. That was probably another detention. He turned his attention back to Hermione, who was shaking, wet tears sliding down her face. Harry quickly got out of bed and crossed to her. " What's the matter? Has something happened?"

" No, Harry. I'm sorry, I was just so mad at you."

Harry looked confused, and rubbed his face absently. " What are you talking about?"

Hermione lifted her hand to caress the cheek she slapped. " I hit you."

" Well that's one way of waking me up. I'm fine, Mione. You can go to class now." Harry patted her shoulder; his mind already wandering off, then disappeared into the bathroom, leaving a saddened Hermione behind.

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Draco sped walked all the way to the potions classroom, bypassed his classmates without a word, and cornered Severus in the back storeroom. His godfather studied him for a minute, before nodding and disappearing back in the class where he instructed everyone on the potion they would be making that day. He returned to Draco shortly.

" What is it now?"

" The Gryffindor. He wants to die." Draco hissed. " I know I shouldn't have done it, but I used Legilimency on him. He's preparing himself for death. He doesn't want to live after he defeats the Dark Lord."

" Draco…looking into his mind will not gain you his trust."

" That's not the point right now! Don't you see? That's why he's distancing himself from his friends. Why he doesn't seem to care about anything anymore. I didn't know I would have to battle that kind of darkness. I'm not sure what to do."

" Are you sure that is what you saw?"

" Positive."

Severus leaned against the wall, and sighed heavily. " I knew he was thinking about it, but I never imagined he would want death. That he would choose it even after he defeats Voldemort."

" What should we do?"

" You do what you've been doing. It seems to be working. At least you got a rise out of him last night with whatever you were doing. He had a nice rant about it before I made him start studying."

" Really?" Draco perked up at this.

" Yes. But I'm afraid that if I or the other professors try and intervene, he may build up his wall to be indestructible and allow no one in. Potter is very stubborn and he never looks back. Just continue to be you, Draco. I'm sure Harry will have trouble ignoring you. We all do."

Draco preened, not at all concerned that his godfather had not meant it as a compliment.

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Harry walked into potions with only fifteen minutes left in the class and took the seat at the very back. He ignored everyone, even Severus, and lay his head down on the desk. He was more then a little angry with Hermione for waking him up. Why the hell couldn't people leave him be and let him sleep?

" Potter-"

" I know, another detention." Harry was surprised when Severus said nothing further, though when he looked, Harry was sure Severus wanted to.

He caught Malfoy looking at him again, but Harry didn't have the inclination to stare back or even glare at him. He didn't even care about what Malfoy was after anymore. All Harry wanted was to get rid of Voldemort and then leave. He was actually pondering whether or not to just leave school and search old snake face out. He should pick the time and place instead of Voldemort, and maybe by doing it that way, Harry could save more lives. Harry looked up, startled by his own thoughts, and he began to grin when those thoughts continued to turn in his mind.

That's what I'll do. I'll find Voldemort myself! He thought about leaving the class then, but didn't think Severus deserved that kind of disrespect from him. Despite everything, Harry honored their friendship, and promised himself he would strive to pay attention more until he could leave Hogwarts.

Draco couldn't help but gasp when he caught sight of Harry's grin. There was a new light in his eyes. One that did nothing to ease Draco's worries either. Harry was going to do something stupid, it was as clear as day. He quickly looked to Severus to see if his godfather could see what he saw, and was relieved to see that he wasn't the only one concerned with what was going on inside the Gryffindor's head. Once potions was over, Draco tried to catch Harry alone in the halls, but the brunette disappeared before he could set one foot out of the room. Either Harry was carrying around the invisibility cloak Draco had discovered the Gryffindor owned, or he was super fast.

" Granger, a quick word." Draco grabbed the startled witch's arm and didn't give her a chance to respond before dragging her back into the potions classroom. Severus merely raised an eyebrow at them before disappearing through the side door that led to his office.

" What is it, Malfoy? This is highly irregular."

" Can you see to it that Potter attends the House parties? It's very important."

Hermione looked at him shrewdly. " What is going on with you, Malfoy? I will not promise anything more until you explain yourself! Right now!"

" Are you sure you can handle the entire truth, Granger? Because you may not like what you hear. And then Weasley will get all angry and violent, and I really don't have the time for that."

" I'm sure I've guessed most of it, and Ron already suspects as well. I just want to know everything."

Draco refrained from reminding her that's why she was known as the know-it-all. He told her parts of what he wanted, holding back the things he'd discovered about Harry by using Legilimency. He was pretty sure he would have none of Granger's help if she were to know any of that.

" I'll try." She said at last. " I can't promise you anything. Harry isn't himself and he doesn't listen to me or Ron that much anymore."

" I guess that's all I can ask for. Just try."

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Harry raced down a corridor. The first thing he needed to do was find out where Voldemort would be hiding for the next month or so, and then he would need time to prepare himself and think of a way he could destroy Voldemort. " Not going to be easy, that's for sure." Harry mumbled to himself as he quickly made his way to the library, every so often looking behind him to make sure a certain blonde haired wizard wasn't following him. He knew without question that Draco had gone after him after leaving the class. Luckily Harry had the Marauder's Map and knew the shortcuts around the castle very well. Everyone he knew had class the next period, as did he, but since he decided the only reason to stay at Hogwarts was to get ready for his battle, he thought forgoing some classes wouldn't be so bad. Of course, he was sure the faculty wouldn't agree with him. But he really didn't care about that.

So where was Voldemort hiding? His best guest would be Malfoy Manor. Draco may have switched sides, but his parents had not and were still avid supporters of Voldemort. If he wanted to, since the Slytherins would be hosting the first party, Harry thought he could maybe scope out some information there, with a few discrete and well-placed drops of Veritaserum into some unsuspecting Slytherin's drink. Draco was out as he had been disowned and was nearly as badly wanted by Voldemort as Harry was. For some oddly disturbing reason, Harry was grateful that the Slytherins still respected Draco Malfoy and it seemed they would stand by him no matter what side he chose, so the blonde Adonis was in no danger while at Hogwarts. Harry snorted. Blonde Adonis? Well I suppose he is. Can't deny that he is the hottest bloke in school. And once upon a time, Harry had had his share of wet dreams about Draco. But that time seemed so long ago. All right, enough about Draco please! Having mental conversations about Draco did not seem like a prudent way to spend his time on devising ways of getting to Voldemort.

Parkinson was his next best bet. Zabini wouldn't work. He was and has always been a neutral and would know nothing about Voldemort or his Death Eater's activities, unless someone from his house talked to him about it. Which seemed unlikely. That just wasn't how Slytherins worked. Crabbe and Goyle were idiots, and even if they were told something, they'd probably forget it in the next five seconds anyway. So Parkinson was his target. Harry crinkled his nose in disgust. He couldn't stand that bint. Always nagging, always sneering, and always bloody fucking hanging off Draco's arms!

Harry sat down and stared at the parchment he'd brought out to write his plans on. What he did not need was for people to start guessing at what he was planning. He was not an idiot. He could see the way the professors looked at him, and the way his friends studied him. And even Malfoy seemed to be trying to figure out what he was all about. Harry did not need their interference. He supposed he should stop going around like a walking zombie then. Perhaps he would throw a happy go lucky face on more often so that maybe he would be left alone. He wouldn't do it all the time, otherwise Hermione would most definitely catch on that he was up to something if he just suddenly changed his attitude. But the thought of walking around with a fake smile on his face was slightly revolting. Harry sat back and sighed. But it would be worth it in the end, wouldn't it? The end was near. He wouldn't have to worry about anything after that.

A/N: Harry is certainly determined to die, isn't he? If you want to find out what happens, just click the review button and let me know:) Have a great weekend!