Chapter 4

Casino Night in Jersey

Day 2

The next day was the funeral, and Joey didn't have time to think about the night before.

As he was getting ready, everywhere he looked, he saw his Grandma. The stove where she taught him how to make the perfect sauce. Pictures she had taken right after had learned to ride a bike, it was hanging on the hall wall. The banister going down stairs, how many times had she yelled not to ride down it? Even here in his room, how many times did she put him to bed? Talk to him after his first break up? She told him to never give up on what he held in his heart. He had forgotten about that.

He fought back tears as he was tightened his tie in the mirror. There was a knock on his door. Mel stuck her head in and said softly, "Hey Joe. The limo is here."'

There was so much of the funeral he doesn't remember. Just bits and pieces. But he remembered the ride to the cemetery. Cars pulled over as the grieving family passed. Out the window of the limo he sees a construction worker take of his hard hat and place it on his heart.

Joe just lost it.

…***…***…***…***…***…

"It took us about 9 hours."

"What mileage did you get on the highway?"

"Umm…I don't know..." Poor Mel had gotten stuck talking to his crazy cousin's husband. Joey came over and saved her. "So, how are you related to that guy?"

"I don't remember," they both laughed. And it felt good to laugh after how sad the afternoon had been.

"Let's get out of here," he grabbed her hand and headed back to the limo.

…***…***…***…***…

"It's 7 card draw, dues wild. Ante up." Everybody at the table put in their pennies. "Winner's take the pot, looser take a shot!"

"Your sister obviously doesn't know how much tequila I can drink," everyone at the table laughed.

After a while her pile and Joe's were the same size, and everyone else was gone. His nephew, the dealer, asked if she wanted another card. She sweetly shook her head no, did her favorite hair toss thing, and never took her eyes off of Joe.

"Yeah, right."

"Yeah, right what?" she asked sweetly.

"What was this?" He rolled his eyes and mimicking her hair toss.

"What?" She laughed, "I have a very good hand. And I will take you all in."

She shoved all of her pennies into the pile.

"Wow. I think you are bluffing."

She lifted her hand up, smiling and flirting so easily. The tequila had kicked in and she was tipsy, he could tell. "Only one way to find out," she teasingly egged him on.

Without breaking eye contact, he took all of his pennies and pushed it to hers. She was absolutely beaming. It was contagious. She was too damn cute. And yes he could read her like a book.

Mel could hardly contain herself , "Straight!" she grinned proudly.

Joey conceded, flipped over three 9s. "Miss Melissa Burke everyone!" and he pretending to bow down to her.

"Thank you! Thank you!" She grabbed the pennies and started rubbing them on her neck. "Look Longo, I'm bathing in your money!"

"Since you pay his salary, isn't it technically your money? Well until next week, huh?" his nephew laughed. And since his nephew was always making jokes, it didn't even register to Mel what he had meant.

Mel just laughed it off. "I'm going outside. It's hot in here."

Joe shot his nephew a drop dead look. "Dude! Shut up."

"How have you not told her about your new job Uncle Joe?"

"I will tell her. Tonight."

"Sure you will."

"Fine I will!" Joey started to push back from the table, and as he did his nephew quickly grabbed the two cards that he hadn't turned over. He shook his head, "That is what I thought," and tossed the two aces at his uncle.

"She's outside."

Joey put the 2 aces next to the 3 nines, and yes it was the winning hand. Full house. Reminded him of home. And Lex and Ryder. He smiled. And then it was followed by the realization that it soon would not be his house. He already missed Lex and Ryder and Mel so much, and he hadn't even left yet. Shit.

Alright, it's go time You can do this. Mel I've got a job in New York. I'm moving. The end. I can do this. I can do this.

He hit the door to the backyard. Looking like she was just waiting on him, she spotted him and waved. She was leaning back against the tree at the back of the yard giving them some privacy.

Before he could speak, she started, "Your family is so wonderful. Huge, but wonderful. Families act like this on TV, but not in real life. Or so I thought," she said shaking her head. "You are really lucky to have been raised here by your Mom and your Grandmother. Everybody loves you. Aunts, Uncles, countless number of cousins, in this big Italian family. I'm really jealous."

"Yeah, well. Ma is so upset Tony didn't make it. Said he was working and 'couldn't get away.' He also said that the last time he saw Grandma, he said goodbye to her all ready. What does that even mean? I mean saying goodbye is a small part of it, but the bigger part is being her for Ma, and the rest of the family. He's such a selfish idiot…you think you know someone, you know?" He glanced over at her. "I'm sorry… are you smiling?"

"What no!" She lied. And then explained, "It's just, now we have something that we can bond over."

"Oh, you mean because of your crazy ass family?"

"Well, you have your crazy ass brother! And for the record, we aren't all crazy, but yes certain members…"

"Oh yeah. I know exactly which members you are talking about."

They laughed together.

"You know Joe, you like to pretend you know everything about me, but you don't know everything."

"Ohhhh…yes I do." He nearly laughed.

"No you don't. I've kept a few secrets."

"I will take that bet," and did a 'bring it on' gesture with his hand.

"Okay, how about this…" And she said quietly, "I was engaged before." She looked at his face for that moment of shock, but there was none.

And as much as he really wanted to gloat that he had won this, he said very gently, "I know".

"What?" Mel questioned. "How?"

"Burke…we live in the same house. Part of my job, in your house, is to do your laundry. Do you know how many times I've hung clothes up in your closet? It's a giant white bag. Just because it was tucked back didn't mean I didn't see. You never mentioned it, so neither did I. I was just waiting for you to be ready to tell me about it." He took a step closer, "So, what happened?"

"I broke it off. Well, I was young." She started, "I shouldn't have said yes to begin with. And I really wanted to make my parents proud. I wanted to have this special thing that symbolized the special connection I'd made with another human being. I wanted the idea of the wedding, but, I just didn't love him."

"I talked to Mom and told her how I felt. And she said told me to marry him anyway." She stopped and looked at Joe. The next sentence still hurt till this day. "She said that this might be my 'only chance'." Her eyes filled with unwanted tears as she remembered how lonely she felt after that conversation. "But, I just couldn't."

"Anyway. I kept the dress, at first weirdly, as a symbol of my freedom. Every time I open my closet, I was like, 'Fuck you parents! I am going to marry someone else, and he will be fabulous! ' She smiled at Joey she knew she'd find understanding in her eyes. "I was more myself after that than I had ever been. For a year or two, I was self confident. I knew what I wanted to do with my life and went after it. I had forgotten how empowering that was, and what it felt like."

She smiled sadly, and shook her head, "The last few years I open my closet, and it mocks me, like the clown heckler at the fair. It teases and torments me of the things I will never have, but want the most…just a normal family. Like yours. And there is only so much taunting a girl can take. And to counter it, I got good at telling myself what I wanted to hear. Which got me about as far away, from being honest with myself, as you can be. I guess your own thoughts can be your worst enemy, sometimes."

"Oh Mel," his hand caressing her cheek and wiping away the tears that had escaped. "I'm so sorry your mom wasn't there for you. But I'm here now. Do not listen to what your mother said! This will not be your only chance at happiness. You don't have to marry him, because you are afraid no one better is going to come along."

Mel completely broke down and he gathered her into his arms. He let her cry. This what she never got from her mother. It was the support she deserved and desperately needed. It was what she needed to hear back then and now.

And he had to ask. He pulled back enough to make her look at him. "Is it possible you're making the same mistake as before?"

She cried harder. "You have no idea how afraid I am to ask that! And I'm so scared that I have! And I know that there is something missing! You know! It's not like it is with us…" she stopped abruptly. Shit! It all just spilled out so quickly!

"What do you mean 'not like it is with us'?" He had to bend down to find her eyes that slanted down to the ground, but he forced her to hold the eye contact. "Mel, what do you mean it's not like it is with us? What is missing?"

"You know…" she kept he eyes down; he forced her to look at him again.

"Enlighten me…"

"There's…a… chemistry… sexual tension…" They were staring and couldn't move away, just melting toward each other. Her tongue wet her lips, and blood was pounding in his ears…

"Mel…?"

She pulled his head down to meet her hungry lips. It wasn't gentle, it was an explosion of emotion too longed ignored. His hands were everywhere, on his ass pulling her tighter, body to body.

She couldn't get close enough! She pulled his shoulders closer pressing her breasts as close as she could. His taste was addictive, how had she gone so long without this?

He spun her and pressed her back against the fence. Now he could get the pressure he wanted. He could take her right here. He could be inside her in two fucking seconds…

She grabbed his ass and ground their hips together. "Jesus!" he mumbled into her neck.

He was about to lose it! He had to get some air to his brain! He had to get some perspective. With their foreheads still together, still as close as he could get…"Mel, if you weren't wearing that ring…" his breath was ragged and uneven.

"It's only an engagement ring," she had no idea why she said that.

He shook his head don't ask her. You are not going to like her answer, but he had to know. "Mel, what do you think this is?" motioning between the two of them.

"…Maybe, I don't know, if we just it out our out of our system, then…"

Fuck me. He couldn't look away and he couldn't hide the hurt in his eyes. "I know you are confused right now. But…I can't do that. As much as I want to, and God, you have no idea how much I want to…I… can't be the guy you try and forget the problems you have with Austin. I care about you too much."

…***…***…

Mel was in Joey's room staring at some 80s rock group she didn't recognize. She had her cell to her ear, and was trying not to sound as broken as she felt.

"…about 10 minutes ago. No, I didn't know what to say. Yes, I know. Um, I don't know Lennox, he's my best friend. Yeah, he's great. Yeah, I think I am." Mel turned; Joe had entered the room and had overheard her entire conversation.

She panicked and turned back to the wall, "Um, I have to go…" Joe walked closer…

"I will. Bye." She turned to try to…

"Listen Joe…"

Then his lips were just on hers;and it was so perfect. It may be the best kiss of her life time; it was earth shattering and real. His hands started caressing her cheeks, and then in her hair, and finally settled on her hips. And she felt it in every cell of her body, to the top of her head to the tips of her toes, and her stupid heart wouldn't stop thudding loud in her ears.

She pulled back just enough that he can see the question in her eyes…what changed his mind? "Fuck honor and doing the right thing. We have one night? Let's make it count," He answered roughly pulling her head to his. And like two magnets that had been flipped over; the force between them was too strong to hold back anymore, and they collide. Nothing was going to rip them apart.

And then he was backing them up to the bed. Then together, down they went.

…***…***…