4. Principle
'(sniffle) Colds are rubbish.'
'Brilliant observation, Padfoot. What next, the sky is blue? The grass is green?'
'Till death do us part, Moony!'
'… That doesn't even make sense.'
'(SNIFF) Can I borrow some tissue?'
'No.'
'Whyyyyyy?'
'Because every time – every single time – you borrow some tissue paper, you start doing unspeakable things to it. You have to learn, Padfoot, some things are just not meant to be eaten!'
'Hypocrite.'
'What in the name of Merlin are you talking about?'
'Remember, Moons? The 14th of March? (sniff) Prongs and I came back from Quidditch and found you stuffing yourself with those crusty bits that come off old t-shirts.'
'We swore never to speak of that!'
'We-ell, we also swore never to speak of the Noodle Incident…'
'I WAS FRAMED, YOU JAMMY GIT!'
'Polyjuice Potion, I expect…'
'That's RIGHT! In fact, it was Mulciber who did it!'
'And the reason there were (sniffle) noodles all over my bed?'
'DUMBLEDORE WANTED TO FRAME US! THAT'S RIGHT, HE WAS IN ON IT TOO!'
'Albus and Mulciber? Ugh…'
'Albus is sneaking around with younger Slytherins?'
'JAMES! YOU TELL SIRIUS THAT HE IS AN ARROGANT TOE-RAG!'
'… I thought that was Evans' name for me?'
'THAT'S RIGHT, YOU BOTH ARE!'
'Padfoot, did you mention the Noodle Incident?'
'Well, he wouldn't (sniff) give me some tissue when I needed it the most!'
'For Aggripa's sake, Pads, take some of mine.'
'Nope. Too late now.'
'Sirius…'
'It's the principle of the matter, Prongs (sniffle). What if it wasn't tissue? What if it was my Ignotus Peverell chocolate frog card?'
'Christ, Padfoot, it isn't your Ignotus Peverell card; it's a bit of tissue! And it's not even yours!'
'Ha! Logic won't work on the great Sirius Orion Black!'
'Agreed.'
'WORMY! Can I have some tissue paper?'
'No.'
'You're all traitors (sniff).'
'Sirius, you truly are brilliant.'
'I am, aren't I?'
'You arrogant toe-rag.'
'You stupid Charms-addict.'