~Chapter 4~

Rose

I don't remember much. I thought I should be a ghost like the ones I use to see. Instead I hurt, everywhere...but, that couldn't be right…could it? A chill ran down my spine as I recalled my last clear memory. There were cold hands on my face, sharp nails drawing blood as a sickening crack echoed through my body and pain coursed through my limbs. I knew my neck was broken, but before the calming darkness could take me once and for all I had to watch Dimitri die as well. His throat had been ripped out by the dead chalky hands of another Strigoi. I started to shake.

Control Rose! A small bit of sanity whispered to me as I relived the haunting memory. My eyes were still closed, I was too afraid to open them. Where was I? Did I really want to know? Small thoughts began to trickle down into me. I had the vague sense of moving, multiple time. I carefully opened my dark brown eyes only to be blinded with bright fluorescent lights. "Ughh," I stirred, straining to sit up only to find out I was covered with wires and tubes. "What the hell!" My voice sounded hoarse even to my own ears.

The walls were the basic sterile white, something that you would expect at a hospital. Only the Moroi nurse confirmed that this was no average hospital, I was guessing we were at Court or some other secure place. Thats when I finally decided to take a look around me. I was sharing a room with none other than Adrian Ivashkov. "Adrian," I received no response. "Adrian!" I screamed a little louder. It didn't' even get a stir from Adrian but it did get the Moroi nurse running to my side.

"Shh please, he's been out for four days now, as have you. He hasn't woken up yet, but he obviously need his rest." She didn't say it in a rude way, but I still felt as though I should retort with a witty remark when suddenly her words hit me.

"Four days?" I was shocked. Then the next thought came to my mind. "What about Lissa? Is she alright? And Di-Guardian Belikov? Is he alright?" There was a frantic desperation in my voice. If I had lived, then surely, surely he had as well.

Her face didn't reveal good news, it was a grim mask. "Queen Vasilisa is safe and well. She had some blood loss and hysterics, but she awoke on her first day here. Guardian Belikov he…he's…gone. I'm sorry Rose."

Tears flooded my eyes, and I didn't care to hide them. How many times had I lost him already? How many times has he left me? It wasn't fair, because this time he was gone for good. I started sobbing hysterically my whole body quivering in anguish. The Moroi nurse slowly walked away.

I don't know how long I cried. It could have been hours, maybe even days, but eventually Lissa came to visit me. She and I swapped stories about that day. Her shock over Dimitri's death wasn't huge, as I had expected. She had after all woken up before me and therefore must have heard the news. She didn't even seem surprised that I was alive, but there was a wary look on her face that told me she wasn't saying everything. I however, was shocked that Christian was a Strigoi. Worse yet he was making death threats. Lissa had blushed a little when she recalled him drinking her blood. There was horror mixed with longing in her eyes.

That's when Adrian woke up. Horror, fright, and confusion light his gorgeous features, when suddenly I wasn't just looking at him, I was hearing him. Inside my head. Rose! Oh Rose you're alright! Rose! That's when the realization hit me. The reason why I wasn't dead, the reason why Adrian was unconscious for so long, the things Lissa wasn't telling me. I was bonded to Adrian.

That was also when my control snapped. "How could you!" Anger boomed within me and Lissa flinched beside me. "How could you?" I repeated. I hastily got off my bed, ripping the wires and tubes from me. I stood over his bed, my fists tightened in anger and the last of my self control was hard at work tying not to hit him. The look in my eyes was probably enough to kill when through clenched teeth I whispered "Why. Did. You. Do. That!" My last word echoed through the room, maybe even the whole building, but I didn't care.

"Do what Rose?" Adrian answered through scared eyes. He really did think I would hit him, but he didn't know why.

"For saving me! I should have died! I should have died with HIM! You saved me, but he's dead!" I was screaming, I couldn't help it. A hand on my shoulder stopped me from going any farther. It was Lissa.

"Rose stop," she pleaded. She sounded so desperate, so calm…so reasonable…

"No!" I stopped myself at the last second from pushing her. "Do not use compulsion on me!"

"Rose please, please stop yelling at least. Can we think this through? Please?" Her tone was warm and concerned but carried no compulsion.

"Ok. Ok…" I reluctantly went back to sit with her.

"You're not yourself. You toke Adrian's darkness from him without realizing it, his aurora is shining beautiful without a trace of its usual spirit effects. You toke all his darkness built up from over the years. You aren't thinking right. Here, take this for now." She handed me a jewelry store's worth of necklaces, bracelets, anklets, rings, and earrings; all silver of course. "They're charmed with spirit put them all on right now it should help a lot."

I obeyed. Usually with just one spirit charmed object I didn't really feel anything. With all this stuff I felt an almost overwhelming relief settle upon me. Lissa smiled in response. "Get some rest, I'll be back later." I didn't hesitate in taking her advice and feel into a dreamless sleep.

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