I do not own 'Heroes' or anything related.

Commentator: Welcome back my normal and hero wannabe friends to the latest installment of 'Heroes Abridged (With Commentary)'. Before we begin let's take a look at some of the reviews you've sent us. PROFESSOR! OPEN THE SHOOT!

(The Professor does so, and out pops three envelopes)

Commentator: Right then! Our first review is from Queenofthelands:

Kensei is awesome, let me just say :)
As is life and stuff
Yeah. I'm rambling. Anyway: still awesome

No we were also fond of Kensei, and sad to see him go. In the most unnecessary fashion I have to point out!

Professor: Our second review is from Silversshadow13:

Another great chapter! I like how you pointed out Molly not being in the show for a while. Can't wait to read more!

Commentator: For a while? She comes back?

Professor: Only in the graphic novels.

Commentator: Oh right.

Sammy: Our third review is from Littlemisscheese:

It's nice to see other people spotting all the ridiculous plot holes in this show. I think you've really caught on to Peters characterisation "I think I'll just freak out instead!"
Also I liked the watchmen reference, now I think about it the company totally did steal their evil plan from there.

Linderman and Ozymendias: IT WASN'T EVIL, IT WAS GOOD!

Commentator: Good? Dudes, (To Linderman) you tried to turn the world against your own kind in an attempt to bring unity by attacking the most populous city in America when that had already happened and led to the world becoming more fragmented than ever! (To Ozymendias) And you killed billions of lives with a giant squid just because you were too cynical about humanity!

Linderman and Ozymendias: ...Maybe...

Commentator: Well then, enjoy our latest chapter, 'Cautionary Tales Four Months Ago'!

Mohinder: Hi everyone! It's me, Mohinder the Narrator again! As Peter remembers everything that has happened to him four months ago, we are going to take the opportunity to explain everything that has happened to our heroes since the explosion, in order to tie up all the loose ends.

Commentator: Once again, this is something that would have been more appropriate at the beginning of a season rather than halfway through.

Mohinder: Shut up.

Peter: So it turns out I was never really in danger of exploding- I just emitted a lot of nuclear energy while my body remained intact. Huh. You would have thought that preliving that moment time after time for two weeks you would have noticed the difference between just emitting all this energy as opposed to your body actually blowing up, wouldn't you?

Cell neighbour: You would.

Peter: So apparently I've been locked down here for absolute stupidity.

Cell Neighbour: Huh. You have thought Matt Parkman would have wounded up in this place before you if that were the case.

Peter: -How do you know Matt Parkman?

Cell Neighbour: I heard that he's the dumbest character ever conceived on a live-action series. Plus I feel as though I've known him for years. Name's Adam, by the way.

Angela: Police have been looking over the sea, but they can't find him!

Commentator: Why would they be looking at the sea? Who do you think brought him in, or do you think Nathan just washed up at the hospital? Are you trying to cover up his disappearance or does lack of common sense run through your family?

Meanwhile in Peter's cell, Adam helps him escape.

Peter: How did you know that I could pass through walls? More importantly, how could I do it if I don't know whom the ability originated from?

Adam: Do you want to stand there rationalising our series or do you want to get out of here?

Meanwhile in Las Vegas, another personality of Niki emerges and takes over.

Niki: Oh no! I'm somehow trapped in this mirror! Hey, if my body's gone, then how can I still exist here?

Alejandro: Maya, first you said you killed them, now you're saying you didn't? Which is it?

Maya: If you recall, I said I THINK I killed them, not that I WAS CERTAIN that I killed them. Besides is it so implausible that I'm carrying some sort of disease that I'm immune to as well as you?

Alejandro: Possibly, but I'm going to stand by my belief that you're a killer. I want to help you, Maya.

Maya: By having me thrown into a Hell on Earth where chances are I'll come out worse than I was before I went in and away from the place I've found peace and where I have no chance of hurting anyone? How is that helping me?

Professor: And so, we finally know how they went on the run.

Commentator: Okay, I understand how they think Maya's a murderer, but how did Alejandro wind up accused? I mean he was the one who helped the police in the start for crying out loud! Also is it my imagination or does this series present Latin America as a single block?

Professor: What are you talking about?

Commentator: Well, these two first seen in Guatemala are actually from the Dominican Republic. And why would Maya go all the way to Venezuela to a convent instead of somewhere more local? If the crime was committed in the Dominican Republic, why were there wanted posters throughout Latin America? What when there's a fugitive in America do they post wanted posters throughout the English speaking world? Also why would local police be chasing people who committed a crime in another country? Shouldn't it have been agents from the republic sent to track them down? Also if they were born in the Dominican Republic, then what was their midwife doing in Guatemala? She must certainly be wealthy in order to travel across Latin America freely!

Professor: Okay, you do bring up good points, but I have to question some of them. When on the run from a murder charge, it makes sense to flee the country, and there are only so many countries to go to. Also when on the run, it makes sense to stay on land rather than go by ship or plane, so they were bound to go through Guatemala eventually.

Commentator: I guess. I just don't trust the geography of people who think that Chennai's still called Madras, that everyone in that region speaks English on a daily or casual basis, and where everyone in the world who are theists believes in only one God.

Meanwhile in Las Vegas, D.L. is laid to rest.

Damon: Can I play with it? What?

Monica: Damon! You should know better than to ask to play with the last keepsake someone has from their recently deceased parent! Also, how would you play with a medallion?

Nana: Nice turnout here.

Niki: It truly is. Although I don't see his mum for some reason. That's weird.

Nana: Don't you know? She was killed by the Company. It's in the graphic novels and everything.

Niki: I don't read comic books.

Nana: No, no 'Graphic Novels'.

Niki: Sure, whatever you say, "Graphic Novels".

Adam: Remember everything, Peter?

Peter: Yeah, I do! But, why would I remember all this stuff that happened to other people where I wasn't around?

Adam: I think they were inserted in order to tie up any loose ends.

Mohinder: And there you have it folks. You finally get to see what happened to people between seasons.

Commentator: Not all of them.

Mohinder: Huh?

Commentator: What about Matt, and how he got separated from his wife? And how did Claire find out her dad was alive, let alone got his phone number?

Meanwhile in Costa Verde, Noah captures Elle after she attempts to take the Bennets hostage. While tied up with feet in a bucket of water so that she can't use her power, Noah tells her that she was once an ordinary girl before her father experimented on her, increasing her power, which resulted in her becoming a sociopath given all the electricity in her brain.

Elle: But I thought I was just a killer because I have superpowers?

Noah: Yeah, our series has a far more mature mythos than 'Smallville'.

Meanwhile in Japan, Hiro has returned to the present and has discovered that his father has been murdered. Instead of accepting his death, Hiro decides to travel to the past in order to save him.

Commentator: Hiro, Hiro, Hiro. Haven't your experiences with time travel taught you that you can't change the past? Every time you go into the past, you only end up fulfilling the present you know!

Hiro: Even so, I'm still going back in time to save my father.

Commentator: WAIT, WHAT? Didn't you listen to a word I just said?

Meanwhile in the past, Hiro confronts his father in his attempt to save him.

Keito: I am sorry, Hiro. But just because you can do good with your powers doesn't mean you should.

Hiro: Why?

Keito: I would have thought that a trekkie like yourself would understand that preserving things with no consciousness are far more important than things that do.

Hiro: And like loads of those characters who preach the prime directive I can easily throw my ethics away when my personal desires get in the way.

Keito: Hiro, please try to understand, that just because these powers make us feel like gods, doesn't mean we should play God. Of course that's easy for me to say, my power wasn't exactly the most powerful of powers. But still you shouldn't play God.

Hiro: Okay, I've got to point this out. I've talked to a few people over the centuries, and they've brought up a few good points. What's with all these mentionings about God, aren't we Shintoists?

Keito: What's you point?

Hiro: God doesn't exist in Shintoism, at least not the monotheistic God of Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Sikhism, Bahai'ism, Rastafarianism, possibly Zoroastrianism and maybe other monotheistic faiths as well! We have Amateratsu and Susano and Inari and Tsuki-Yomi and-

Keito: We're Christians, Hiro. We practice a Christianity syncretic with Buddhism.

Hiro: -Oh. Really? Then what's Ando?

Keito: Also Christian syncretic with Buddhism.

Hiro: -So, everyone in Japan according to this world is Christian syncretic with Buddhism?

Keito: Why so surprised? Hiro, if these writers still think that Chennai's still called Madras, why not be aware that polytheism still exists in some parts of the world. Besides, the show's religious theme only has enough room for one god.

CRACK!

Meanwhile in New York, Matt attempts to convince his boss to interrogate Angela Petrelli, who has been arrested for murder.

Matt: Oh come on! Don't you find it a little suspicious that she confessed right after she was attacked?

Fuller: Of course it's suspicious! It's obvious that she just confessed in order to be protected from the real killer! But once someone's confessed, the case is closed, despite the real killer being out there and free to kill again!

Will Matt be able to convince his boss to interrogate Angela with the crafty jedi mind trick? Can Hiro save his father? Will Noah be able to protect his family? Find out: now! Yes. No. Kinda. But anyway, join us for the exciting conclusion of 'Heroes abridged (with Commentary): Generations!'

P.S. I do not own Ozymendias or anything related either.