A/N Thanks to Vlad and Aearwen for the beta.

Chapter 4

Jon woke slowly, Deirdre's scent surrounding him, and he pulled her closer. Dawn was only hours away and he knew he had to wake her but, he let himself watch her sleep for a few moments. Last night's lovemaking still fresh in his mind, he hardened against her hip. He moved her golden hair away from her face and kissed her gently, and she curled into his arms, reminding him of a cat. And she was a cat, he thought. His lioness.

"Love," he whispered. "It's almost dawn." He kissed her as she made mumbling sounds.

"No. It's warm here with you. I don't want to leave this spot."

Jon decided the better way of waking her up was his mouth on her body, his tongue blazing hot trails on her breasts. Soon she was fully awake and urged him to enter her again. They made love slowly, dreamily enjoying each other's bodies, each trying to give the other more pleasure. Afterwards she lay with her body draped over his and murmured that she didn't want to leave his bed ever again.

"It'll become my deathbed if your cousin or the king finds you here," he chuckled. She opened her eyes finally, looking heartbroken. It twisted his heart, realizing what the dawn would bring. "It'll be fine. We'll find a way…"

"They won't ever let us be together. Unless we run away," she said, resigned. "Jaime has already warned me that Lannisters don't marry Starks."

"I'm not even a Stark," Jon reminded her. "But I can't run. I can't do that to my father or my brothers and sisters. I don't know what would happen to them if I did."

"I know. I wouldn't let you," she admitted. They kissed a few moments and he felt her tears falling and running down his cheeks.

Before the sun broke, they had dressed and he checked the hallway and the stairs to make sure no one was awake yet. He kissed her one last time, then closed the door behind her and leaned back against it.

xOxOx

Deirdre tried not to appear agitated during breakfast, and avoided making eye contact with Jon as much as possible. She was terrified that everyone would be able to tell what they had done. When their eyes did meet occasionally, she felt a flutter in her stomach and her cheeks grew hot, and she looked away quickly.

Lady Stark didn't join them, staying by Bran's bedside still, and breakfast was mostly a silent affair other than the king and Lord Stark's conversation about some political affairs in the capital. She could see that Lord Stark hadn't slept much; his weariness showed in the dark circles under his eyes. Even Arya and Sansa were withdrawn. After breakfast, Rob invited Deirdre to watch him, Theon, and Jon train in the yard. Arya went along with them and Sansa disappeared with her septa. Deirdre felt uneasy when she noticed Jaime watching her leave with the men, and knew it was only a matter of time before she received another lecture. Joffrey decided to join them at the last moment, much to everyone's silent dismay. The Hound followed them into the yard as well, keeping the prince in his eyesight at all times and casting his own unwelcome shadow on the morning. Joffrey, oblivious to the tension, challenged Robb to a match. Deirdre intervened.

"Cousin, I do not think that wise," she said, placing her hand on his arm. "The match would be most unfair as he would be unwilling to strike his prince."

"Are you afraid to fight me, Stark?" Joffrey taunted. Robb glared at him, his gaze hot with suppressed rage, but he said nothing.

"Joffrey!" Deirdre hissed under her breath. "The Starks are our hosts and, after what happened to Bran yesterday, perhaps it is best if we allow them some time alone."

Stepping closer, Joffrey said in a low voice, "Cousin, remember your tone with your prince. It won't matter what your family name is; if you disrespect me again, I will have you punished. And you know very well that my mother will allow it."

"Of course, my prince," Deirdre consented with a curt nod. She narrowly resisted the urge to slap his smug face.

As he walked away, Joffrey laughed, "I'm sure that even a female Lannister could beat a Stark anyway, so I'll leave you in my cousin's company."

Deirdre lowered her eyes. Her family never ceased to be a source of humiliation. She said to Robb, "My apologies, my lord. I know that a confrontation with the prince is the last thing you should suffer through now."

"Mere words," Robb assured her, his anger seeming to fade quickly. "I've suffered much worse from my sisters, I assure you." He reached out and squeezed her hand.

If it weren't for Jon, she would have been thrilled at Robb's kind attention to her, but she worried now about allowing it, lest it be seen as encouragement.

"Let me hold your sword," Arya demanded of Robb, pulling Deirdre from her own thoughts.

"It's not a toy, Arya."

"It's just wood. Please Robb? I won't hurt myself," she begged. Her brother sighed and handed her the wooden practice sword.

"Just use the training dummy, Arya," he warned as she headed towards Jon and Theon. She scowled before stomping in the direction of the dummy. Robb looked at her for a moment and shook his head. "Arya is more enthusiastic about training than most of the men here."

"Looks like it's you and me, Snow," Theon announced, and Robb led her away from where the two dueled, Grey Wind following them closely.

"She does seem to have you twisted around her finger," Deirdre couldn't resist teasing Robb.

"I cannot deny a request from a lady." He glanced down at her. "Ask it of me, and you shall have it."

"I will not take advantage of your generosity, since you have admitted you have this weakness."

Robb divided his attention between talking to her and watching Arya. She enjoyed his humor and intellect. And gods, he was charming! But not in a dishonest way, like so many men at court. His was genuine and she couldn't help feeling that one day he'd make a good leader. He had the personality to make people believe in him and follow him. And it was a quality that couldn't be forced. Unlike her cousin Joffrey, who used charm like a lure to draw in an innocent victim, Robb seemed completely open and natural, unaware of his affect.

Soon Jon and Theon's sparring escalated into something else and drew both her and Robb's attention; even Arya stood watching with surprise. They were too far away to hear clearly, but Deirdre noted something about a woman never choosing a bastard over the true heir of Winterfell - just before Jon tackled Theon and knocked him sideways. Now they used fists instead of swords and Robb rushed to separate them. Before he could get there, Jon had Theon pinned on the ground. Robb pulled them apart and shoved Jon away.

"What in seven hells are you doing?" he yelled. Jon glared at him, breathing heavily and nursing a hurt jaw. "If Father were to see this, he'd have both your hides." Theon got cautiously to his feet, watching Jon through narrowed eyes.

Jon glanced at Deirdre for a moment before dropping his sword and storming off. Perhaps Robb hadn't heard Theon's insult. But Deirdre had and wondered what had prompted him to say such things, no doubt about her. How he knew it would hurt Jon, she had no idea. But only Theon was there to ask, now. She stalked over to him. "Why would you say something like that?"

"I don't know what you mean," Theon replied, his gaze daring her to challenge him further. Deirdre realized Robb must not have heard anything, and Theon knew it. "Besides, Jon's always ill tempered and moody. It's best he is taking the black. I think he'll find himself in good company with the wildlings."

Deirdre felt sick. When Robb tried to apologize for their behavior, she barely nodded before excusing herself. She all but ran to her room. As she bolted the door behind her, a terrible realization washed over her – she had believed it would all work it. Some part of her, however small, had honestly thought that these nights with Jon would be more than just a fleeting joy in an otherwise bleak future. But now she knew otherwise. And he did, too – he had all the while. He had taken her into his bed, knowing he would not be there long himself.

When she saw Jon at dinner that night, she didn't look at him, or at any of the Starks, instead focusing her attention on her younger cousins and Tyrion. The mood in the hall had been uneasy since Bran's fall and showed no signs of improving. She excused herself as soon as was respectable, and only as she left did she notice Robb heading in her direction. She pretended not to see him and fled.

For several days, she stayed either in her room or with Myrcella and Tommen, staying far away from anyone even remotely connected to Jon. It helped, a little. But her strategy was short-lived - eventually Robb came looking for her, on the pretext of finding a playmate for Rickon, and she was unable to avoid joining him and the children. He seemed to be trying to ease the tension, but he didn't understand what had happened and was too polite to ask. Obviously Jon hadn't told him anything, and whatever had prompted Theon's taunts went unmentioned. Later, she was unable to manage an excuse not to allow him to escort her to dinner, but like a coward, she made certain to sit far away from Jon and Theon, and gathered the children around her as guards.

xOxOx

After dinner, Lord Stark watched Deirdre approach the high table. Ned smiled wearily and nodded as she curtsied to the king.

"How's Bran?" she asked, with honest concern.

"He hasn't woken."

"He will," the king assured him. "He's a strong lad."

Deirdre nodded before offering, "I'll pray to the Mother to protect him."

"Thank you." Ned took a good look at the girl in front of him for the first time. He'd seen her many times with Robb and knew she'd been the one who found Bran. She had the Lannister look, but lacked the edge of arrogance and coldness. He wouldn't have expected anyone so gentle from the same stock as the queen and the Kingslayer. "The King told me of the loss of your husband before you came to Kings Landing. My sympathies. I knew some of the knights of House Lorch, but I didn't know your husband."

"He was a vile man, much like Amory Lorch," Robert said, the wine slurring his voice a touch; Ned knew he was well on his way to being drunk again. It didn't escape his notice how often this happened, or how rarely Cersei and Jaime joined them for dinner. The king continued, "I don't know what Tywin was thinking when he married one of his cousins to such a man. Deirdre deserved better. She's one of the few Lannisters I actually like." The king smiled and winked at the girl. Ned said nothing as Deirdre blushed and looked away. The King had no love for Tywin or the rest of Lannisters; he had made that clear, despite his marriage to Cersei.

"Thank you for your sympathies, Lord Stark. And please let me know if there is anything I might do for Bran or Lady Stark. I could take her some supper and watch Bran so she can rest, if you like."

"You're very kind, but Lady Stark has made it clear she won't leave his bedside. But I do appreciate the time you've spent with Rickon."."

"He's a sweet child, my lord. No trouble at all."

Ned signaled Robb over. "Robb, why don't you and Lady Deirdre take Prince Tommen and Rickon outside? They're restless and I think Rickon needs fresh air and a distraction. Ask Sansa to take Myrcella with her."

"Yes, father." Robb nodded and Deirdre said her farewells.

"She's a lovely girl," Robert said to Ned after she left. "Looks like Cersei did when I first wed her, before she became the hateful thing she is now." He took another drink. "Your oldest son seems rather fond of her as well."

"The boy isn't blind."

Robert laughed, shaking his head. "Ah, the poor girl. Ser Thomas treated her horribly, if the rumors are true. Her mother all but threw her into House Lorch, with Tywin's help, and now that that's over Cersei has it in her head to foist her off on some dried-up old man with one foot in the grave. I don't want to do that to her again." Another drink. "Seven hells, I'm the king! I won't do it."

"What about Renly?" Ned suggested. The king's brother was quite notoriously unwed.

Robert waved it off. "He's too busy wenching his way through the southlands."

"Does she want to marry again?" Ned watched the girl leave with Robb, children in tow. His son obviously had affection for her; he could see it in Robb's adoring gaze. But he had not thought to marry his heir to either a Lannister or a widow, even a young, beautiful one.

"Hard to say. When men her age are anywhere near her, Jaime Lannister is never far away. You should have seen how quickly he put distance between her and Loras Tyrell when they were introduced. Not that I'd want to join those two houses. Too much money and power in one place. If she wasn't Cersei's cousin, I'd likely take her to my bed and…"

"But she is," Ned reminded him with a slight smirk. Robert laughed aloud.

Ned noticed Jon watching Deirdre leave as well, but she did not even glance at in his direction. The way Jon's gaze followed her out of the room spoke of bitterness, as if the two had crossed paths and she had rebuked him or said something cruel. That gave Ned pause. Robb did not need to be married to a woman who would treat Jon unkindly. Jon did not deserve it, and Robb would not tolerate it. Ned resolved to keep his observations of Robb's feelings to himself.

xOxOx

Later that evening, Robb said his farewells to Deirdre just outside the guest chambers, and Deirdre turned to walk up the stairs. She was exhausted after spending the last few hours trying to keep up with two energetic young boys. Rickon was wild as always, and Tommen was able to enjoy being a child for once, instead of worrying about being the prince and on his best behavior.

"Deirdre." She heard a whisper and turned to find Jon waiting for her.

Quickly, she ran over and pulled him down the short hallway to the servants' quarters. "What are you doing here? If we're seen together, my cousin will gut you."

"You've been avoiding me, I had no choice," he whispered and attempted to hold her hand, but she quickly withdrew from him. "Have I done something wrong?"

"We can't talk here. Meet me in the Godswood in an hour." Without waiting for his response, Deirdre walked back to the stairs and rushed to her room. She told Caron she was going to bed, so she was left alone with only her muddled thoughts and emotions to keep her company. Finally, when an hour had passed, she went to the Godswood, making certain that no one saw her.

Jon sat alone beside the weirwood tree. He stood when she walked over and she saw how drawn with worry his face was. "Why have you avoided me? I thought after that night…"

"What did you think? That I'd continue to risk both our honor for a future man of the Night's Watch?" she replied, her voice edged with pain and anger. "Your sins will be forgiven when you take your vows, but I will not have the same escape. And you knew that all along."

Jon was taken aback for a moment and was silent. Deirdre wanted to run away - from him, from Winterfell, but mostly from the truth. It hurt too badly to keep saying goodbye to him only to fall back into his arms and deeper in love. And to realize, to put into words, that he'd betrayed her cut her deeply.

"That was before… before I fell in love with you. Now, I don't know what I'm going to do. I considered going to Father, telling him the truth about my feelings for you. And then you stopped speaking to me and I thought maybe you didn't feel the same," he answered quietly. "I know my father will probably not allow it, but…"

Deirdre walked to him, pulling his face to hers, and kissed him deeply. Tears fell on her face but for once, they were happy tears. Her happiness overflowed and she found herself laughing like a child in between kisses. Jon held her tightly, returning each kiss with an equally loving one.

"I love you," he whispered, kissing the tears on her cheek. "I feel like you're part of me and these last few days I've felt lost without you. Even though we only spent one night together, my bed feels empty."

"I've missed you too," she whispered.

"Do you think you can come to my room tonight? I need you," he whispered. His hot breath on her ear sent shivers down her back. Despite the inner voice warning what a dangerous a game she played, she nodded, and they kissed goodbye until later.