I have to be honest, I feel like it would have been perfect if I had left it at the 3 chapters. But of course then there would have been no resolution, and I kinda want a long term Holby fic. So, this totally isn't up to my usual standard in my opinion, you'll have to let me know what you think, but I really am stuck on how to play this out. Holby got it spot on, so it's hard for me to do this without going down the same road.

As the days passed, whether or not the situation on AAU improved became a matter of opinion. From a statistical point of view, from a George Binns point of view, there was an improvement. From an Eddi point of view, not so much. Without Max around, she wasn't shirking responsibility, quite the opposite. She became a little more lively, and she did a lot more work; maxing out overtime, once again. But to the people she'd worked with for so long now, it was hell, and no-one could see that but them.

She was polite, respectful, did as she was told. She arrived early for her shifts, and left late. She picked up the slack of the more junior nurses, and she didn't complain. And that was not Eddi McKee.

Eddi McKee was feisty. She was happy to complain, she threw out snide remarks, and she didn't let poor work ethic slide.

She was still drinking though, and it was obvious. The bags under her eyes, pale complexion. She looked sick, and everybody knew it. It wasn't until Michael walked into the locker room and saw her fiddling with a packet of cigarettes that he realized that she wasn't going to snap out of it.

Flashback

"Family meeting." Michael murmured, pushing Luc towards the office, and grabbing Sacha by the arm as he passed him.

"What's this about?" Luc questioned as Michael drew down the blinds.

"Eddi" he said, peering out through the blinds to check the ward.

"Anything in particular?" Sacha asked, perching himself on the desk.

"Does she smoke?" Michael queried, directing his question at Luc.

Luc's eyebrows raised, "uh, no- no."

"Really, well she's about to pick up a dirty habit then."

"What?!" Sacha exclaimed, "what do you mean?"

Michael crossed his arms, "I just caught her in the locker room with a pack of ciggies. We have got to do something."

Sacha sighs, "what can we do that we haven't already tried Michael? We've tried talking to her, we've all tried talking to her. Do you think we need to take this higher up, Hanssen maybe?"

"No!" both Luc and Michael said at once. Michael looked to Luc for a moment before turning back to Sacha, "it's too late for that. If we get Hanssen in on this, then she's just going to lose her job and then we can't do anything for her. At least if she's here we can watch her, for half the day anyway."

Michael and Sacha hear the door close, and turning towards it they realize Luc had left.

"Where the hell did Hemingway go?" Michael says exasperated, "he know something we don't?" he says to Sacha, who just shrugs back at him. "Maybe he went home, his shift is over you know." "Home? He lives in the car park!"

Luc silently stalked down the road, keeping in the shadows as not to be seen. Ahead of him, Eddi stumbled through the darkness, bottle in hand. He had been following her drunken escapades for several days now, after she had turned up to work with several cuts and bruises she couldn't remember getting. She didn't always make it home. He hadn't told Sacha and Michael what he was doing, but they had complied with his request to have his shifts mirror hers.

She made it most of the way home this time.

Eddi always went through the park to get home, and had sat down on a bench to finish her bottle, but passed out instead. He warily walked up to her crashed out figure, keeping an eye out for any other signs of life; being caught picking up a sleeping girl wasn't exactly a situation he wanted to explain his way out of.

It was hard on him, watching her slow descent into darkness, knowing he couldn't help her. She wouldn't admit she had a problem. Without that vital insight, he knew he had no chance of helping her, he would have no chance to fix her. So he did the only thing he could, he walked behind her and made sure he hid the evidence. He made sure she made it home, he covered up any proof of missing drugs; he started building her trust again.

"Cathexis."

Luc turned, shocked by the sudden appearance of Sacha beside him. "Come again?"

"Cathexis" Sacha repeated, "the process of putting all your mental or emotional energy into one thing."

Luc frowned as a sense of déjà vu washed over him. "I'm well aware of that, do you have a point."

"Well, Eddi appears to be throwing herself into her work. And you appear to be throwing yourself in- at, er, on... well, focussing on Eddi, to prevent falling apart."

"Have we had this conversation before?" Luc asks him, curiously scanning his head for the familiar words.

Sacha smiles at him, "it may not be Christmas yet, and you may be no Sacha-Claus, but I think you could do it if you tried."

Luc nods, finally remembering their conversation regarding Chrissie last Christmas. "It's not that easy Sacha."

"Well, why not, it worked for me didn't it!" Sacha exclaimed.

"Er, I'm not sure this is quite the same situation."

"Luc..." he says in a much more serious tone, "just try. Look at her. If this were Chrissie, it would be killing me. You never know until you try."

"But what if I make the wrong choice... this could be my last chance..." Luc whispers. Sacha gives him a pat on the shoulder, "you better make it count then."

Eddi sits on the roof railing, legs just about reaching the edge, and arms twisted around the metal. She sits, eyes closed, taking in the brisk night air. She's just finished a shift, another only 4 hours away; she doesn't even bother going home. She dozes in and out of consciousness for a while, the noises of the hospital car park snapping her back to reality every now and then.

A single intrusive thought crawls into her head, destroying the numb atmosphere that had seeped into her mind as of recent. What if I jumped?

Her eyes slowly open and survey the dark scene below as she ponders her own question. What if I did? It'd be over, I wouldn't hurt anymore... She finds herself slipping forward slightly, sitting on the floor of the roof - the wrong side of the metal barrier. Her arms slip down and re-twist themselves around the lower bar, her legs leaning over the edge of the roof.

It's not like anyone would care...