Teto's P.O.V
Luka can do everything, right? She's my super fantastic number one role-model, she's brave and strong and smart and majestic and totally awesome! Right!?
And she's fearless, right? She's always keeping her cool even when everything goes crazy.
When something's wrong with me, she becomes strong and holds me tight. She's the one who makes me feel secure, because she's filled with strength and warmth through and through.
Living in the same house with her is the best! She's just like an independent big sister!
...right?
But I've noticed, lately Luka has been acting kinda melancholy. A bit wistful. Sighing a lot, acting all... well... emotional. Singing quietly to herself and staring at the air.
Being the somewhat solitary person she is, I'm used to it. But lately, she's been doing it more.
I know she had a rather lonely past and that concerns me. It could've left a hole in her heart, and the whole time she had been trying to cover it up the best she could so I wouldn't have to worry for her.
She always says that she isn't lonely. She says that because of me, she'll never be lonely again.
But sometimes I just don't feel like it's true. Or that I'm truly enough.
Am I really strong enough to fill the hole in Luka's heart myself, I wonder?
I did ask her, and she told me that of course I was. But in that moment, her eyes said otherwise.
Luka's eyes that looked like they were made out of glass... looked like they were close to shattering. I've never seen Luka look so venerable before.
Then one night, Luka sang me a lullaby that went like this;
"See, my words come out all wrong
Can't seem to say things right at all
So I'll keep lying and hide
Underneath my hat
Can't quite remember when
This shy girl emerged inside of me
Eto, eto, ne
E Toeto"
"Luka, why are you singing such a song?" I ask sadly. "You're not like this, Luka. You are strong and you speak with confidence... this song gives me the feeling that you really are hiding something."
I face her concernedly, ready to say words I don't usually say.
"Tell me, Luka. I want to help."
"Teto..." she rubs my head warmly. "Don't worry about me. I'm fine. These are nothing but lyrics after all. Don't worry, Teto... don't worry."
She gives me a smile to reassure me, and for a moment I am falsely reassured. I end up forgetting about the look in her eyes I once saw before, and become reassured enough to soon fall asleep peacefully.
After I fall asleep, I awaken in the midst of a chill and the room is empty and blue. It looks the same, only there's no light from outside... and nobody is here. Not Luka. The bed is frigid and empty and no sign of her comforting prescence is anywhere.
"Luka?" I call out. Nobody is there and my voice echoes coldly.
I'm not like Luka. I'm already panicking and losing it. I'm all alone, and whether this is just a bad dream or not, I'm still terrified.
I noticed that I've started crying when suddenly, a light shines from the middle of the room and a round, blue, crystalline floating capsule rises in front of me.
"Time Machine," it reads, in thin surreal letters at the top.
My mouth gapes open. I'm dreaming, right? I'll wake up soon. So either way, nothing bad really can happen.
Hey, this is pretty cool! I only with Luka were in this dream with me, then it would be a hundred times as cool!
I sigh thinking about her. Since there's nowhere to go, I climb in. The bubble opens up and sucks me in. I'm floating weightlessly inside this round space... whoa... as if I was underwater, only I can breathe.
I can't think of anywhere in time I want to go. There's only one place in mind, so I say it out loud.
"I want to go to the past, just last night!" I say. "So I can be together with Luka again. So I can feel her warmth again!"
"Confirmed." the machine chimes in an emotionless voice. The surroundings glow, they get brighter and brighter. I feel myself waning away. I become nothing but light. Soon I can no longer feel my own presence. Soon, I can no longer think.
After that, I can't remember what happened.
When I open my eyes, the machine is gone. All around me is soft green grass and flowers.
A schoolhouse yard... it's an elementary school and the young children are being let out for recess.
"Huh..." I feel nostalgic looking at the surroundings. I haven't been in elementary school in years, obviously.
The air around me is so fresh and serene. I hear faint voices through the silence. Voices of the children playing in the field.
"Um... excuse me."
The distant shy voice of a girl gets my attention the most. I wonder why though, since it's one of the quietest voices I can hear.
"I want... to play with you." the girl stutters to whoever she's talking to. "I mean... I wish you... I..."
"Come on, just say it already, freak!" a a boy rudely shouts over her speech.
The shy girl's voice begins to tremble even more and I can just imagine this little girl turning red, tears sliding down her cheeks.
"I... eto... want to eto... eto-eto..."
"Hahahahaha!" Everyone started laughing. "To-eto! This is why her name's To-eto! We don't even know her name. But she mumbles 'eto' too much!"
The little girl runs away crying after long seconds of insults and yells. I couldn't get a good look at her before, but now I see she has pink hair, a light brown dress that trails behind her, and is wearing a cat hat. Aaand she looks familiar. Wait a minute, she looks too familiar... MUCH too familiar...
"Wait a minute!" I scream inside my mind.
When the other kids clear away out of eyeshot, I make a run for the trees where the strange girl ran.
She's ducked down in the midst of the green enterance of the woods, curled up and sobbing past a clearing of branches too small for me to fit through.
"Hey!" I call out to her. She looks back, doesn't budge and keeps crying bitterly.
"Hey, please come out!" I yell for a few more seconds, the girl madly shakes her head and doesn't budge. I realize my voice sounds too aggressive so I speak quieter in a more comforting tone.
"Come on, I'll be your friend..." I try to sound soothing.
She's sobbing hard. The sight and sound of her cries reach into my heart and break it. I'm feeling all her pain suddenly. I never felt this way before with anyone. Anyone besides one person.
There is only one person I know who's emotions I share every bit of with.
"Luka."
The name escapes my lips. The girl suddenly turns back and eyes me with a broken, tearful expression. Her eyes, even though saturated with tears, are beautiful, as if they were made of clear glass.
I've seen those eyes before.
"Luka." I say again.
"I'm your friend. I'm here for you, I promise. You can come out... Luka."
The girl blinks her eyes, wipes them on her sleeve, and slowly comes and crawls back through the space between the branches.
Looking at her face, past the fact it was stained with tears, she has light blue eyes, short coral-colored bangs and rosy cheeksーthe spitting image of a young and shy Luka. She stands facing me in a modest quiet pose, just like the Luka today.
"It's Luka, it really is Luka. I traveled to her past! This must be her as a little girl!"
She's so cute! But sad...
What just happened to her was terrible. Did this happen every day? All the time, with everyone?
"Don't let them make you cry, okay? Just wear a smile on your face, and everything will be okay."
"Just wear a smile."
Those were words that Luka had taught me before, and now I was using them on her.
I crouch down to the young Luka and she shies away, her cheeks all red and her eyes glossy.
"My words... never come out right." she says in a fragile little voice.
"It's why I can't make any friends. I don't know how... and then they just pick on me because I'm weird and I stutter a lot... I can't stand it. I have nobody... nobody who I can call a friend..."
Her eyes slowly fill with tears and I feel weight tug on my heart.
I hold out my arms comfortingly and she cries, running into my embrace, tugging onto my shirt and sobbing. I'm still wearing pajamas, but they're soft. She holds on to the softness and the fabric dries her tears quickly.
I feel tears forming in my own eyes as I reach out and pat her tiny back.
"You have a friend, Luka." I say softly. I know I can't tell her that I'm from her future, nor can I tell her that I know her future self, but... she's probably wondering who in the world I am.
"Luka, I am somebody who exists in your heart." I tell her, as I can't tell her who I really am. So I make up a little white lie. It's like I'm her angel or something. I'm sure this act would work on an innocent little girl.
"When you're lonely, just think of me. And when you think of me, always smile. Always smile and you won't feel alone. I'm a part of your heart."
I face Luka's pink face and tears form in my eyes.
"And you... are in my heart." I say.
Little Luka looks confused for a second, but soon, she's smiling. Smiling through her tears, almost like a rainbow is shining through them.
"Okay." she says. Oh goodness, little Luka is so cute!
"You're smiling!" I cheer. "Come on, little Luka, let's play!"
I run friskily around the nearby flower patch and Luka chases after me. Wow, she's fast! Her dress is beautiful and the ribbons all around the trim and at the front moves in the wind.
"Tag, you're it!" she catches up to me, pats my hip and playfully runs away again, her soft pink locks being lifted by the wind.
"Hey!" I run after the smiling girl again, and little Luka topples down on the grassy ground.
"Ah, are you okay?" I shout.
Luka is laughing. She lifts up her face and is smiling brightly, rubbing her knee just a bit.
"Yeah, I'm fine." she says. "You're a really good friend. The only friend I've had. I like you."
"Thanks." I say, patting her soft head again.
Now Luka is just sitting there in the midst of the flowers. I join her and sit with her. A butterfly flutters past us and lands delicately on a pansy. I pick up a small pink flower and let her have it. She gives me an innocent smile and holds onto it tightly. I can tell she's daydreaming now, but she's still enjoying being by my side. I let her daydream. I have a lot to think about too, after all.
"This is Luka from the past. I... I never knew. This heartbroken girl is what she's been hiding."
I think of that teary-eyed face I saw only minutes ago and begin to tear up again.
"Luka, from the present... this is why she needs me. It's why she loves me. Because I understand her. Because I'm her true friend. And now... now I only understand her better, after seeing this. The way everybody must've had treated her for years had waned away at her... poor Luka."
I realize I've been daydreaming with such intensity that I didn't even notice the serene surroundings had suddenly dissappeared.
I'm literally stuck inside of a void. A blue void. The familiar surreal color of the... Time Machine?
My time in the past must be up. Is it time to go back already? No... No!
I want to comfort little Luka more... she needs me...
I bite back tears, when suddenly, through the beautiful starry blue, I see a warm smiling face.
Little Luka's smile. The smile I created.
"Thank You." I hear her faint voice say as her mouth moves. She holds up the flower and I can faintly see it's rich pink color.
"I Love You."
I tear up some more.
"I love you too, little Luka!"
I wave goodbye to the vision and she waves back. Soon the vision of the child Luka fades away, but she's smiling the entire time.
And I don't remember what happened after that.
I just know that the next morning, I woke up in the middle of the floor right where the Time Machine was before. I can't tell if I really traveled back in time, or if it was a highly coincidental dream.
The room now looks normal. Light pink walls, the same welcoming decor. It's early in the morning and a airy light blue is coming in through the windows, dispersing through thin curtains. The birds are singing, and right below the light-colored curtains, Luka is here, sleeping in the bed, looking beautiful as she always does. My heart melts. That lonely sad girl had grown to be such a beautiful strong woman.
I'm proud of Luka, all the courage it must've took to transform like that.
I'm relieved that I'm now in the present again. Present-day Luka is back and I'm more than delighted to see her. I bounce on the bed, crawl over to her and tap her on the shoulder.
She won't budge and her head is buried in the soft pillow.
Soon, I hear small sobs coming from her throat.
What? Luka is crying... why?
"Luka! Luka, what's wrong!" I nudge her shaking shoulders.
I'm beginning to break down from all this. I can't stand seeing Luka cry, whether it's past Luka or present-day Luka. She's the one who I love. I just can't bear to see her with a teary face.
I inconspicuously hear her mumble one word... It's not my name. It sounds a bit different.
"Toeto..."
Toeto? Toeto... I finally recognize the name.
It's the name of the little shy girl from her lullaby last night. It's the nickname the other kids gave her because she stuttered.
Toeto... Toeto must be Luka's past self. The personification of the hidden loneliness that still weighs her down.
"Luka..."
Luka sits up with a long sigh and finally starts to pour her heart out in a low voice.
"I've had these dreams at night lately, Teto. Toeto keeps coming back in those dreams." Luka says to me.
"She's always crying, always alone. And I can never reach her. I can never comfort Toeto. Yet she's a part of me. Toeto is a lonely girl who's always been inside of meーthe misunderstood girl from my past who had nobody. Yet when I try to relieve her of all her loneliness, I never can reach her..."
Luka wipes the tears from her eyes and looks at me. I swallow a bit, my own eyes becoming wet.
But when Luka's face grows a small smile, I feel relieved, even more choked-up. More emotions flood inside me in return.
"But last night in my dream, you were there, Teto." Luka says fondly. "You were there for Toeto. You made her smile, you made her laugh. You eased her of all her loneliness. You came into my dream and filled the hole in my heart."
Luka suddenly reaches out to hug me. I choke up in her warmth, it's like honey. It's even sweeter than that. It's love.
"Thank you Teto, for being in my life. You'll never know... how much you mean to me. Your presence alone eased me of my past. Thank you."
I can't take it anymore. The dam breaks and I begin sobbing. The tears flow down my cheek and the next thing I know, I'm in Luka's arms being patted by her back.
"Luka, I couldn't stand seeing you cry." I choke. "And I really was there... I had a dream where I was comforting Toeto too. I saw her cry, but I beca,e her friend and got her to laugh and smile. She was so cute, and she called me her best friend. But seeing you so small and sad broke my heart. Luka... why have you never told me you had a hole in your heart?"
Luka sighs and paints a smile on her faceーthe same smile Toeto had when I was comforting her.
Luka's pure true smile never changed throughout all these years.
"Because..." she starts saying.
"I might not seem like it now, but I'm still the same. I'm shy. I can't say everything on my mind because the words don't come out sometimes. Toeto is still inside of me, a part of me I always cover up under fake strength. I'm not the person I try to be. In reality, I'm still Toeto. But now, because you were able to reach her, Teto..."
Luka holds me tight, her smile the richest and warmest I've ever seen.
"Because of you, Toeto has a true friend."
ENDNOTE: I know this is a soap opera. Ugh, SO OVERLY SAPPY. LIKE NOBODY SHOUD BE CRYING THIS MUCH. Welp, that was my attempt at something psychological. Toeto represents Luka's feelings of loneliness and insecurity that she still can't get rid of. Basically Luka's hidden "true self". But because Luka had the dream about Teto comforting her younger self, it signifies that Teto being there for her had gradually healed her from the emotions, putting "Toeto" at ease.
Frankly I don't think this my best story, writing-wise. So I may improve that aspect of it when I have time. Also, this is also a part of Rose-Colored Days (my Teto x Luka oneshot collection), only I thought this was different from most of the Rose-Colored Days stories and I wanted it to be on its own too.