Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters

OK so here it is...sorry it took so long but of course as you all know it was Turkey day which meant everyone was busy travelling and eating and shopping and eating and eating so...its a valid excuse haha.

Thanks for the reviews on previous chapters. I have worked a lot on the story in the past several days. My sis and I have sat and had intense conversations about the story line and she will agree...IT IS AMAZING!

I am so excited about where this story is going and you all are in for an adventurous ride! I can't wait to get more posted it is going to be great!

So many thanks to the Big Sis-my hero-seriously you all have no idea. If you don't have a big sister go find one because they are awesome. Much thanks to my awesome Beta she was a trooper on this ridiculously long chapter-Sorry I didn't realize how long it was until now!

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and ate lots of turkey and pumpkin pie. Now it's time to break out those treadmills and get ready to fit into that cute Christmas Dress... Sis&Beta-Sunday morning! You and me...prepare to get beat! ;)

*CAUTION*Lemon Warning: Now I know you are wondering why I put caution when there is lemons right? Yes there are lemons in this chapter and they are not what you expect but please please pretty please with sugar on top don't stop reading it because of how it starts out. It ends with a twist ;) a lemon twist hehehehe...

Alright with all of that out of the way...go read!

BPOV

Convincing Rosalie to let me drive home was a task in itself and I was amazed that she actually let me go. I thought she really was going to call Jake there for a minute. Pulling up in his driveway I smiled as I saw Sam jump down from the front window and run to the door. Getting my bags I hopped out of the truck and started towards the house. Opening the door I was surprised to not smell something cooking and even more surprised when Jacob didn't greet me at the door. Where was he at?

"Hey Sam." I said to the dog and patted him on the head before tossing my bags onto the couch and going in search for Jacob. I didn't see his car out front but it was probably in the garage and the door was unlocked which meant that he was home.

"Where's daddy?" I asked Sam as he followed me up the stairs. He jumped in front of me and took off up the stairs as if he wanted me to follow at that pace.

I had ran enough today…I could settle for walking. Sam was standing in front of Jacob's bedroom door nudging the door with his nose.

"Is he in here?" I asked and opened the door to find the most amazing sight in front of me. The entire bedroom had been blacked out and there were candles everywhere. What was going on?

"Jacob?" I yelled and stepped inside the room headed for the bathroom but he quickly stepped out in some dark shorts.

"Hey," He smiled brightly at me. "You are early."

I narrowed my eyes and smiled at him lightly. "Rosalie let me leave a little early today."

"That's great…I'm not really done with what I had planned but that's ok." He said and came across the room to hug me.

I fell into his arms and whispered. "What exactly do you have planned?"
He shrugged and pulled back. "No pressure…I swear."

I smiled lightly, "Ok…no pressure."

He ran his hands down my back slowly. "I just wanted to make up for not being able to go this weekend. And I know that this isn't the beach house but…still. I just want to spend some time alone with you. Just you and I spending time doing whatever comes to mind."

I couldn't help but to thoroughly enjoy this idea. "Could I get a massage?"

Jake nodded to his nightstand were a bottle of massage oil sat. "You can get anything that you want."

"I like this." I told him later when we were both in the Jacuzzi style bathtub filled with bubbles. We had been naked together before so this was no big deal…as long as there was no pressure.

"Me too." He said and twisted his arms around my waist to reach my fingers and entwine ours together.

I was sitting with my back flush to his chest. There for a few minutes he had rubbed my back but I told him to wait until after the bath to give me a massage. He had just simply agreed and kissed my neck lightly.

"Would you like anything?" He rested his chin on my shoulder and kissed the same spot on the side of my neck.

"No…I am perfectly content right here." I said with a smile and turned my head to the side to kiss him gently.

I leaned back against him and thought back to what Rosalie had said earlier at lunch about my body being afraid of sex. Maybe she was right…and for some odd reason I felt relieved that it wasn't just me having second thoughts about Jake and I, it was my body. That didn't really make sense but in my messed up head it did.

"So today at lunch Rosalie and I talked about you." I told him suddenly not really thinking, just speaking.

"You did?" He asked in shock.

I nodded, "I think that I just needed to talk to someone about us, you know? I mean I can't tell Alice and Rosalie is a third party who doesn't have a serious connection to either of us and she really helped me make sense of a lot of things."

"Oh…like what?" He asked curiously.

"Well," I blushed and was glad that he couldn't really see my cheeks. "I told her about my problem…with not wanting to-you know…give myself to you."

"Bella," Jake started in a worried tone but I cut him off.

"No, it's good news just let me finish." He sighed but I saw him nod out of the corner of my eye. "She asked about my previous relationships… the most recent one to be specific, and of course I told you that the sex was terrible. Well, I told her the same thing and she seems to think that we can't be together yet because my body is afraid that it will be that bad again."

"Oh." Jacob said solemnly. I'm not really sure what that was supposed to mean but I continued on as he thought that through.

"She suggested that I…" I couldn't say that word in front of him could I? I laughed immaturely and blushed as I thought of a way to say this correctly.

"Did it yourself?" Jacob suggested for me and I laughed.

"Yeah…" I was still blushing deeply.

"And what do you think about that?" He asked tentatively.

I shrugged and simply said, "It makes sense to me…but I don't know, Jake. I mean…I haven't done that in so long I probably wouldn't even know where to start."

Jacob laughed lightly and planted a few small kisses on the tip of my shoulder then began trailing them across the top line of my back. He kissed across the nape of my neck underneath my pony tail and all the way to the tip of my other shoulder.

Then he said, "Bella, you know your body better than anyone else. Whether you are" he laughed once and said, "out of practice or not, you just know what your body wants and needs. I am sure that you would know exactly where to start."

I shrugged and sighed again as I fell back into him. He laughed again and started trailing more kisses along my back and then he started on my neck. Soon he was kissing and licking on my jaw line making my eyes roll back into my head. Turning my head slightly, I let him kiss me softly for a moment and then I deepened the kiss wanting more. Maybe I could get further this time because the clothes are already off. Releasing one of his hands I wrapped my hand around to grip his hair between my fingers and pulled him closer to me. His free hand traced small circles into the skin on my stomach and I knew then what I wanted.

I grabbed Jacob's hand with my other one and pulled on it until his large palm was cupping my breast. He gripped me lightly and I moaned into his mouth. Yeah, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I kissed him for a few more moments then pulled back.

"Jacob." I whispered against his lips.

"Hmm?" He hummed and kissed me softly.

I took a deep breath and felt my fingers shake with nerves around his hair. "Touch me." I breathed out quickly.

I wasn't sure if he had heard me until he pulled back a little further and looked at me anxiously. "Are you sure that's you want that?"

"Yes." I moaned and squeezed his hand that was around my chest.

His lips were abruptly on mine and his hand kneaded me harder eliciting more moans. Yes…this is what I wanted. His hands swapped places in the water and he gripped my chest with his left hand while the other snaked its way down my stomach. I knew that he would take his time and not just jump right in there and go with it…but I kind of needed him to before I backed out of it.

I spread my legs apart and raised my knees until my knee caps were barely sticking out of the water then I grabbed his free hand and pulled it to my core. He cupped my sex and I felt my body crawl with anticipation. I hadn't felt that way in a long time…

He slipped one finger between me and reached out to touch my clit making me moan into his mouth. God that felt good. I pulled my mouth away from his and rolled my head around to lean back against his shoulder. Biting my lip I released his wrist and let him take over. He rubbed me gently for several moments which made me so wet I could feel the heat and I know that he could too.

"Bella," Jacob said in a gruff sexy voice. "Show me what you like."

I moaned and reached down entwining our fingers around my center. I tugged his hand lower down until we were barely touching my opening. I twitched in the water when his thumb grazed my clit again. Putting my middle finger right next to his, we slipped both of our fingers inside of my core and I groaned as I thrust my hips into our hands. Jacob was right…my body did know what it wanted.

Jacob groaned as well as he slipped is finger in further and I pulled mine out. "Bella…" He said right next to my ear. "baby, you are so tight."

I groaned as he slowly slid his finger back out. His words nearly drove me to the edge alone. I had a feeling that when I did come that it would be two years worth of held back orgasms and it would feel great.

He shoved back inside of me and my eyes disappeared somewhere in my head. He moved faster now with a particular purpose and it felt heavenly. He slipped his finger in and out of me several times before he added a second one. I moaned and bucked against him wanting more.

He hummed and said into my ear. "Bella, I can't wait to have my cock inside of you. I hope it's someday soon."

I groaned and felt how hard he was against my back. How had I missed that one before? Reaching behind me I let my hand slip around him making him groan wildly. He started pumping his fingers harder into me as I gripped him tighter and began stroking him in a way that I hope that he liked. Jacob started to curl his fingers up inside of me but I shook my head against him.

"More." I breathed. "I want more Jacob."

He laughed once and then quickly slipped his other hand down as he slid a third finger in. He used his free hand to start stroking my clit at the same rhythm I was rubbing his dick. God it felt good and I was so close. I was just waiting for that familiar feeling to wash over my whole body. Why wasn't I climaxing yet? Every fear that I had was suddenly on top of me. What if I never have an orgasm again…my life would end now.

"More…"I moaned against him and stroked him harder. "Please give me more Jake."

He groaned and began rubbing me harder and curling his fingers into my sweet spot which made me buck against him but didn't put me any closer to my climax. I heard Jake groan loudly and then I felt him throb in my hand as he released onto my back. Even the thought of his dick inside of me didn't shove me any closer. I was just standing on the brink waiting for it to crash over me but…nothing. Then I started thinking. When was the last time that I felt the most turned on? I thought about it as Jacob kept rubbing me and then it hit me.

In the gym not three hours ago I was on the treadmill watching that…that guy work out. Right before I fell. I was getting hot all over. I pictured that guys strong muscles flexing as he pumped himself in and out of me…

"Oh god…" I moaned and arched my back trying to get closer to his hand. It was working. I was already feeling my stomach tighten with my orgasm. So close…

"Yes…right there."

I needed to think of something else. Why did I get turned on by him today? I gasped as I pictured it in my head. Those. Green. Eyes.

"Oh! Yes!" I screamed as the first orgasm in two years washed over me. I moaned for at least a minute while the familiar warmth spread over my body. Relaxing I opened my eyes and then it all hit me.

Holy shit…I just came on Jacob's fingers thinking about another guy.

"Wow." Jacob said into my neck and kissed me lightly. I sat up straighter and felt his hands trail down my thighs as he laughed lightly behind me. I was going to be sick. My stomach was literally turning…I was going to puke.

I shoved away from him and scooted to the other side of the tub.

"Bella?" He questioned and looked at me a little worried.

I held up a hand, "I just…I just need a minute."

Jacob pursed his lips and nodded. I took a deep breath and leaned back against the tub and closed my eyes. I had to take deep slow calming breaths to keep from puking in the tub. It was ok…I didn't really understand why I was freaking out. It made no sense to me as to why I would be so upset about what just happened. But the confusing part was…I didn't know what I was most upset about. The fact that I let Jacob touch me-which for some reason felt really awkward-or the fact that I had gotten off thinking about that pig.

I took another deep breath and tried not to think about it. I'm ok…it was fine. People think about others while they have some form of sex all the time…

Yeah but it's normally married woman who are bored with their husbands. Not girls who have just started dating the guy….

I covered my face trying to shut out everything that had just happened. This was too weird. And poor Jacob had no clue that I was imagining this random guy just now and that was the reason that I had come. No. I was going to convince myself that it was just a coincidence. That wasn't the reason that I had come. It was just ironic that I was so close and as I approached my orgasm he crossed my mind. I shook my head…either way I had been thinking about him while I was having an intimate moment with my boyfriend. It wasn't supposed to be like that.

"Bella…are you ok? I'm starting to worry a little." Jacob said and I felt him move across the water.

I swallowed and slowly looked up to him. "Yeah…" I lied. "I'm fine."

He grinned and I could still see some hesitation in his eyes. He was worried…I needed to comfort him and reassure him that I was ok. I smiled lightly-almost to myself-and moved across the tub until I was kneeling in front of him between his legs.

I took a deep calming breath and felt every nerve in my body shake like I was spasming or something crazy. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned in to kiss him slowly. He kissed me back but he was still hesitant.

When I pulled back I looked into his eyes and said, "Thank you."

He grinned then-actually grinned and nodded. "Thank you."

We didn't spend much more time in the tub. Soon we were getting out to get dressed. As I stepped away from the tub I quickly jerked a towel around me. I felt embarrassed for Jacob to see me now and I didn't understand what was wrong with me. Maybe I should reconsider that shrink…

I had brought extra clothes with me because I had planned on staying the night but now I wasn't so sure if I should. I dressed in my comfy jeans and a t-shirt then went downstairs with Jacob to find some food. We ended up ordering a pizza and sitting on the couch watching an old movie. When it started getting dark I knew that I couldn't pretend to be comfortable about what had happened anymore. I needed out of here.

When the movie went off I looked to Jake who had his arm slumped around me and his head was lolled on the back of the sofa. Light snores were coming from his throat. He was tired and he needed to sleep before he left for New York this weekend. I smiled as I remembered his trip. Maybe being away from each other this weekend would clear my head and I would be ok. I leaned up on my knees and felt his arm drop down until it was curved around my hips. I smiled as I felt his hand slip into the lose band of my jeans. Then a slight smile appeared over his lips. He wasn't even asleep.

I rolled my eyes and leaned forward to kiss him. I put my lips right to his and jokingly whispered, "Jackass."
He laughed as I kissed him slowly. When I pulled back he turned his head and looked into my eyes. Maybe I could stay the night…I smiled back and leaned over kissing him again. This time it was longer and deeper. He kept his one arm around my hips and twisted the other across the top of my back as he leaned up and flipped me around until I was sitting on his lap and in his arms. My head was resting on the arm of the couch and his torso was hovered over mine. For several long minutes we just kissed deeply but after a moment he pulled his arm away from my hips and rubbed his hand across my stomach under my shirt and started making his way down to the line of my jeans.

That was when I realized that I had to leave…it would be too hard for both of us if I stayed the night.

I grabbed his hand to stop him and entwined our fingers instead. He sighed into my mouth in what I assumed was disappointment. He will get over it…

I pulled my lips free from him and looked up into his dark chocolate eyes for a moment. I wished that it wasn't so awkward between us right now…or maybe all of the awkwardness was on my side.

I opened my mouth to say something but he shook his head and started before me. "I know Bella…no pressure."
I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. "I'm sorry." I told him honestly and it was the truth. I was sorry that I had serious mental issues.

He shook his head and smiled on one side of his mouth. "It's ok. I want to be with you for more reasons than just sex Bella…so I can wait. I just thought that maybe you felt more comfortable about it all after the…tub."

More comfortable…HA! I wish…the tub made me less comfortable.

"I'm sorry." I told him again. It was all I knew to say. I felt bad for turning him down so much and as nice as that little 'I can wait for sex' comment was I knew that it wouldn't be long until he got frustrated with me. He was a guy after all and he would get impatient with me because I wasn't putting out…I've never met one that doesn't get impatient and as much as Jacob has pushed it on me this week…he is getting impatient whether he wants to admit it or not.

We stared at each other for a few more minutes and then I sat up on his lap.

"You're going home, aren't you?" He asked in a saddened tone.

I pouted for a minute and said, "I just need time to process all of this…"

He nodded. "I understand." Then his head snapped up and he looked at me worried. "Promise you'll stay tomorrow night though?"
I smiled and nodded. "I promise."

"Ok." He seemed appeased. "I will see you in the morning?"
I nodded and leaned down to kiss him softly. I jumped up and ran upstairs to get my stuff from his room and when I walked back down he was standing at the door waiting on me to walk me out. He took my bags from me and clutched my hand in his as we walked out onto the porch. He left the door open and Sam followed us out to the truck. Jake opened my door and slid my stuff into the passenger seat. Then he turned to me and pulled me tightly into the circle of his arms.

We hugged for a moment and when he pulled back to kiss me Sam started barking angrily. That dog has some real territorial issues. Jacob ignored him and kissed me deeply until Sam came up and started hitting Jacob's leg with his nose.

I laughed as he pulled away and looked at Sam. "Mine." He said to the dog and kissed me again as I laughed around him.

Sam jumped up then and pushed Jacob with his front paws. Jacob shook his head. "Sam get in the house!"

I was nearly in tears because I was laughing so hard. Of course, Sam didn't listen, he only sat and growled at Jacob. I was starting to wonder who wanted to hump me more…Sam or Jake.

"Fine." Jake said to the dog and turned to me. He kissed up my jaw line to my ear and bit the top of my ear making me squirm and laugh at him. "Mine." He growled to the dog and kissed me roughly.

I was still laughing when he pulled away and we both looked at Sam who was snarling at Jacob.

"Bella…" He said seriously as he and Sam stared each other down. "I am going to have to pee on you so that he will get the hint."

I laughed and shoved on his chest. "I think not. You and your dog can wrestle it out when I leave."

He laughed his deep throaty laugh and hugged me to him again. I smiled and wished that it could be this easy with us all of the time. I wished that we never had any awkward moments…that we were just easy together.

I pulled back and smiled at him. "Bye Jacob."

"Bye." He said and kissed me again.

Sam and Jacob waited in the driveway until I was out of sight and then I put all of my attention on the road.

When I got home I sighed in almost relief. It had been so long since I had spent a night in my bed I didn't really know if I would be able to sleep without Jacob curled up on one side of me and Sam on the other. I threw my keys down on the coffee table to the left and dropped my bags at the foot of the couch. Walking through the living room and into the kitchen I opened the fridge out of habit and looked around for a moment. Grabbing a small bottle of orange juice I turned all the lights off and locked the door before grabbing all of my bags and heading down the hall. To my immediate left was the closet that housed the washer and at the end of the hall was my bedroom with its own bathroom inside. I loved my small apartment it was just big enough for me.

Walking in, I just fell onto my bed and sat the orange juice down on the nightstand. I will drink some of it in just a few minutes, I thought to myself as I rolled over on my side in the dark room. I hadn't even bothered with turning the lights on. I sighed and rolled to my back to kick my jeans off and then crawled under the covers. I lay down on my pillow and got really comfortable and was starting to process what had happened during the day. Before I even got past the lunch with Rosalie I was out like a light.

I was in the gym…on the bench in the weight room staring at the dumbbells above my head. It was that same dream that I had Monday night about the guy in the gym. The jerk that I have seen every day this week, I was dreaming about him again. It was the same dream!
"You like it, don't you?" I heard him say above me while he drove in and out of me roughly. "Tell me, Bella…you like it."

"Yes!" I screamed for him. "I like it!"

"Yes…you do." He groaned and rammed into me one more time making me come.

I sat up in the bed gasping for air. I looked around my dark room trying to make sense of it all. I looked down and I had kicked my covers off of the bed and had my fingers slipped inside of my panties. I didn't realize how turned on I was until I went to move my hand. I was really wet…wetter than I ever remember being before. I left my hand there and lay back down as I replayed the dream in my head as well as the dream from Monday night. I closed my eyes and pictured it all perfectly as I used my fingers to bring myself to the brink of the second orgasm in one day.

I was so close…right there on the edge. I could feel the tightening in my stomach. I squeezed my eyes shut and saw it. Those green eyes…

I moaned and thrashed on the bed as I came roughly.

I was laying there thinking about the fact that this guy had brought me to two orgasms in less than five hours and he wasn't even in the room. I didn't even know his name! Yeah…I needed serious medical attention.

The next day passed so slowly. Work was a boring lull and I couldn't even look at Jacob without blushing and going into full panic mode. Alice and I had lunch but I couldn't think straight enough to pay attention to her as she went on and on about the guy that I was supposed to be meeting on Friday. I had to tell her. I couldn't just keep this from her any longer.

"Alice." I said boldly as I could with the jumble of nerves in my stomach.

She stopped in the middle of her sentence and looked at me with a questioning glance. I really had no idea what she was even talking about but I knew that I had to get this out. I had to tell her about me and Jacob.

"I have a big…big problem." I told her honestly and scooted my packed lunch away from me.

"Bella, what is it?" She asked in almost a worry.

I swallowed hard and closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened them I looked around the break room to make sure that no one else was around. Thankfully, we were alone.

"I've been seeing someone for the past couple of months." I blurted out knowing that I just needed to get it over with.

Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open lightly. "Who? And why the hell did you not tell me this before?"

I shrugged and nervously twisted my water bottle in my hands. I couldn't look at her while I said this. "Because of who it is…"

Alice slammed her hands down on the table and she leaned forward. "Who…is it?"

I closed my eyes and took a slow deep breath. Why was I telling her this again? "Jacob." I barely whispered. I was kind of hoping that she didn't hear me. Actually, I was praying that she didn't hear me.

"What…" She asked really slowly as if she was trying to hold back a certain fury.

So, before she could explode in my face, I went on to tell her about all of it. "But it's weird Alice…I mean you have no idea how weird."

She sat back abruptly and crossed her arms over her chest as she glared at me for a minute. She was thinking, I could tell that that was what she was doing by the fierce set of her lips. I just needed her to speak.

"Alice…don't be mad. Please." I nearly begged.

Her light amber brown eyes were burning into me and her short black hair whipped around her face as she leaned forward quickly. "I want to know everything…now."

So I told her everything. All the way from the beginning up until last night. I left out the John Doe from the gym. I just didn't really think that this was an appropriate time to bring him up.

"I can't believe you." She said sternly and then knocked me off my feet as she smiled. "Sleeping your way to the top."

I sat back and glared at her. "Very funny, Alice."

She laughed and said, "Well, I am pissed that you didn't tell me sooner but, Bella, if you like him then you like him. Nothing I can do, but you aren't breaking your date for Friday night."

"No," I shook my head abruptly. "He is going to be out of town this weekend anyway."

"Who's going to be out of town?" Jacob's voice asked as he stepped around the corner into the break room.

I sighed and closed my eyes as he entered the room. I would not look at him right now…

"My fiancé." Alice answered and stood quickly. "Bella and I were just making plans for the weekend."

Jacob hummed as if he could have cared less but I knew that as soon as we were alone he would ask me about it. I shot Alice a panicked look and she half smiled before leaving the room, leaving Jake and I alone.

"You already made plans this weekend?" He asked as soon as she was out of the room.

I sighed as he sat his coffee down on the table in front of me and stepped behind me wrapping his arms around my back and resting his hands on the edge of the table.

He kissed the top of my head as I answered. "You are getting a little brave with the PDA at work."

He laughed and then stood up quickly grabbing his coffee. "I guess you're right. I'll see you tonight?"

I still didn't look at him as he walked out of the room and I answered, "Yes sir," only because another employee was walking in.

When I got back to my desk Alice had sent me a long email about all her thoughts on the matter of Jacob and I, none of which were good. All the email basically boiled down to was that she didn't think we were good together and that was fine because everyone was entitled to their own thoughts. And honestly if I had to pick a side…I would pick hers. I mean she didn't know this but I couldn't even get off once with Jacob alone…I had to think about another guy. That didn't really scream happy couple to me. Maybe I should have told Alice about the gym guy. I was just about to send her a returning email when the phone started ringing.

The rest of the afternoon was busy and I didn't really have time to think about Jacob or the gym guy or even Alice. I was so glad when four o'clock rolled around. I needed out of the office. Immediately when I left I went straight to Jacob's seeing as that was the plan. We were planning to spend the rest of the evening together just enjoying each other's company. I was sad that he was leaving for the weekend and I didn't know what I was going to do without him for the whole weekend.

I got there before he did and I just sat in the driveway as I waited for him to arrive. Taking my shoes off, I turned to the side and stretched out in the seat resting my head on the head rest of my seat. This was the reason I loved this truck. I could stretch out and take a nap. Thankfully, I parked under the shade of a tree and there was a gentle breeze blowing outside so the weather felt nice.

The next thing I knew the truck door was being slung open and I was being hitched over someone's shoulder. With a yelp, I tried to sit up and see Jacob who I knew was carrying me.

"Who said you could sleep in my driveway?" He asked jokingly as he unlocked the door and carried me in over his shoulder.

I laughed and groggily stifled a yawn. Jacob kicked the door shut and then continued over to slam me down on the couch. I gasped as the air left me and Jake jerked his jacket off and moved to lie on top of me.

I yawned really big this time right in his face and he laughed at me as he kissed on my neck. When my yawn had faded Jake sat up pushing his elbows into the sofa on either side of me. Then he asked, "What do you want to do tonight?"

Smiling, I looked at him brightly and said, "Nap."

He laughed and shook his head. "I should have seen that one coming."

I nodded and ran a hand over his neck and down his tie teasingly. "Well, if we nap then we can fix dinner…" I gripped his tie and pulled him closer to me to kiss him once before going on. "Then we can eat…and then…"

He raised an eyebrow and asked, "And then?"

I grinned and said, "And then we can have dessert."

I gripped his tie to pull him back down to kiss him again. He groaned and deepened the kiss while running a hand through my hair to grip it tightly.

"I like dessert." He said quickly.

"Mmmhmm." I said and pulled our lips back together.

After a few moments of kissing, Jacob pulled back and rolled us over to our sides until I was wedged between him and the couch.

He ran a hand through my hair as he asked, "Did you not sleep well last night?"

I frowned and studied his face closely. Where did that come from? I thought back to last night and the dream that had woke me up and then the continuous dream the rest of the night about the same person. "I slept alright. Why?"

Jacob shrugged, "You never want to take a nap."

I stifled another yawn and said, "It has just been a long week."

He nodded and kissed me lightly, "You can say that again."

I smiled and rested my head in the crook of his shoulder and closed my eyes. The couch was spacious enough for us to both sleep comfortably the way that we were laying. I could easily fall asleep like this. I was already feeling sleep over take me. My only wish was that I didn't dream about gym guy again only because I couldn't do that with Jacob while thinking about another man and feel right about it.

I slept soundlessly in his arms until his phone started ringing in his pocket startling us both awake. We had fallen asleep holding onto each other and as Jacob pulled his phone out of his pocket I looked at the clock across the room. It was already nearly six o'clock. I had slept longer than I intended to but it was very much needed.

"Hello?" Jacob groggily answered the phone and began talking to whoever it was. I think that it was the airport confirming his flight.

I closed my eyes as I seriously considered going back to sleep. It would have been nice but Jake probably wouldn't appreciate it.

"Yes…thank you." He said and hung his phone up to slip it back into his pocket.

He hummed and reached his hands above his head to stretch out while I stifled a yawn. After we both relaxed back down, we kind of laughed for a moment and then Jacob was abruptly sitting up.

"Up." He commanded with a slight grin. "Now we can cook dinner."

I laughed lightly and took over his room on the couch. "You cook dinner and I will sleep some more."

Jacob shot me an incredulous look and shook his head. "Come on, baby…up."

He jumped to his feet and jerked me up with him throwing me over his shoulder like he had done earlier to carry me in.

We went upstairs and changed into some comfortable clothes to go downstairs and cook. We fixed spaghetti, garlic bread, and green beans and, of course, salad. Everything was amazing and by the time my plate was empty I felt absolutely stuffed. As we put the dishes in the dishwasher we both realized that Sam had barely made himself known this evening. I guess he took the hint last night that I was Jacob's. It was almost funny how he would march into the room and turn around to run right back out when he saw us.

After dinner we sat in the living room surrounded my candle light while we drank some wine. It was so peaceful and easy going that I immediately felt totally relaxed.

"You told Alice today, didn't you?" Jacob asked suddenly as he poured more wine into our glasses.

I cringed remembering the email that I hadn't gotten the chance to respond to. "Yes." I sighed and drank another sip from my glass. "I did."

"And how did that go?" He asked, truthfully concerned.

I shrugged, "It went better than I thought that it would. She was just mad that I hadn't told her sooner."

Jacob laughed and said, "When I walked into that break room the tension was so thick I could barely see through it."

I laughed and thought back to what Alice and I were talking about. He missed that part of the conversation…thankfully. My stomach knotted as I thought about what I was going to do tomorrow night. It wasn't cheating because technically Jacob and I weren't dating and tomorrow night I was only going on a blind date that Alice had sat me up on. I didn't want to go, I just kind of got sucked into it.

But still I felt like I was doing an injustice by going out with that guy tomorrow night. That's not me. I'm not that kind of person.

"What's the matter?" Jacob asked and brushed a strand of hair out of my face.

I looked over to him and saw the curiosity in his eyes. I smiled lightly and said, "I just don't want you to go tomorrow."

He ran his hand through my hair and pulled my head closer to him and kissed my forehead. I loved it when we had sweet, intimate moments like this. They were normally the highlight of my days.

"At least we have tonight." He mumbled into my hair and I smiled brightly.

Raising my glass I toasted, "To tonight."

Jacob grinned with high expectations and clanked my glass. "To tonight."

After all of the wine was gone we just sat holding each other intimately caressing the other with kisses. Jacob was anxious…more so than he has ever been anxious for me and it made me a little excited to know that I had the power to do that to him. Leaning into his side, I pushed our lips together and kissed him roughly for a moment. I needed his lips on mine, moving against mine. I needed him.

As we kissed Jacob pulled back a little and started down my neck as he mumbled, "No pressure…but I want you…so bad Bella. So bad."

I groaned as his tongue snaked across my skin at my collar bone. Tonight was all about Jacob…no one else but me and Jake. I would not think about gym guy. I would think about Jacob and I…nothing more and nothing less.

After a moment or so I pulled away from Jacob and stood up reaching down to him with my hand. He took it with a slight anxious smile and followed me up the stairs-after we blew the candles out-until we reached his room where Sam was waiting on the bed. We made Sam leave the room and then we just picked up from where we left off down stairs. We didn't waste any time getting to the bed. As soon as the door was shut we were in the other's arms kissing and touching each other.

Immediately, I reached down to grab the hem of Jacob's shirt and began tugging it over his head. If I couldn't let him touch me without thinking about gym guy I could at least please him…right? We only broke the kiss when the shirt reached his head. Then I went to his sweat pants and began tugging them down. I could feel his hard cock grazing my hip. I especially felt his anxiety when I pulled his pants and boxers down. He groaned loudly when I reached down to touch his full length. I was wet thinking about him tonight and maybe Rosalie was right…I had to just rediscover my lady o to make me want it again. Jacob pushed me down on the bed when the back of my legs hit the comforter. We released our holds on each other and scooted up to the top of the bed. Leaning back I rested my head on the pillows and looked up to Jacob with a faint smile. He grinned as well and reached down to grip my shorts and pull them down slowly.

I let him strip me without one single fear this time. I was positive that no matter what we did I would only imagine Jake and no one else. When I lay before him completely naked I felt a small fear prick my insides but as soon as it was there Jacob stared tracing his hands down my body and my fear was gone. I moaned as he slowly traced every part of my body delicately. When he reached my thighs he rubbed down to my knees and gripped them to pull me down further on the bed. Then he traced back up my thighs to my core were he let one finger slip inside of me making me moan under him.

"Bella," He spoke softly and removed his fingers.

Opening my heavy lidded eyes I asked, "Yeah?"

He frowned and looked down between our bodies before saying, "I don't have anything. I wasn't thinking that we would need them."

He didn't have any freaking condoms? It was my off week…I had just ran out of birth control and I wasn't about to risk it.

I stared into his eyes for a moment and then groaned angrily as I rolled my eyes up to the ceiling. This can't be happening. When I am finally ready to go the next step with him we can't…

"Damn it." He murmured and then fell down on the bed beside me.

I rolled my head over to look at him with a frustrated groan. "Is this really happening?"

He stared at me with the same look. "I think that it is."

I groaned again and ran an annoyed hand through my hair. Chewing on my lip, I thought about it for a moment and then said, "Let's do it anyway." Then I rolled over and straddled his waist and felt his hard head rub the inside of my thigh.

I leaned down and kissed him roughly as I slid my body against his. I really thought that we were going to get a little bit further but Jacob was the one who was pushing me back a little. "Bella…we can't."

I sat up and looked down at him a little hurt. It was then that I realized that I was naked and straddling this guy. With a deep blush, I rolled over and fell to my back trying not to be obvious in clutching for the sheets to cover myself up.

"Bella…no." Jacob sat up and looked down at me. "I mean…baby, I don't want to risk anything. If you only knew how bad I wanted to do this and the fact that you're finally willing makes me want to shoot myself for not being prepared but…"

"It's ok." I said through my chagrin and literally did cover myself with the comforter this time.

Oh my god…how humiliating.

"No, Bella, it's not ok. I didn't mean to make it sound like I didn't want to and I didn't mean to upset you…I just…it makes me nervous that we don't have anything."

I stared up at him trying to figure out how to make this better when I wanted to run into the other room and cry. "Jake…you could always pull out."

He looked at me for a long minute and after several minutes of hesitation he rolled over on top of me and shoved the blanket out of the way. His lips were abruptly on mine as he settled between my legs rocking his hard shaft against me. I groaned and ran my fingers through his hair as I gripped it and pulled him closer to me.

A moment later I was waiting for him to push in but he just wouldn't and it was driving me mad.

"Jacob." I groaned and pulled my lips away from him.

He stopped and let his head drop to my shoulder as he mumbled. "Bella, I just can't…I'm too afraid."

I closed my eyes and shook my head. How freaking unfair is this? Karma hates me…it's official.

"Fine." I groaned and shoved him off of me. Grabbing my clothes I jumped from the bed and ran into the bathroom shutting the door behind me with a little bit too much force. Then…I started crying.

How embarrassing is this situation….I covered my mouth to hide the noise of my crying. I didn't want him to know how upset that I was. When I finally decide to give myself to him he backs out. That's just my luck.

I slowly pulled my clothes back on and stood over the sink staring at my reflection in the mirror. I had calmed down and I wasn't crying any more as I tried to figure out what had just happened. The only solution I could come to was that he didn't want me in that way…I wasn't as sexually appealing as he had originally thought. I felt tears threaten to break through my eyes again but I closed my lids and took a deep breath to concentrate on calming myself. I wouldn't cry again. I wouldn't allow myself to cry over this situation.

With a sigh, I turned the cold water on and washed my face roughly trying to erase what had just happened from my mind. All the times this week that he has pushed this on me…what did he plan on doing then? He obviously didn't have condoms earlier in the week when he wanted me to submit myself to him. I rolled my eyes as it set in…he wants this on his terms, not mine. To him…we have sex when he decides, not when I decide. I grabbed a towel and dried my face quickly.

With a determined huff I started to the door with the goal of giving him hell for what he had just done. I jerked the door open nearly yanking it from the hinges and stomped towards the bed but stopped abruptly when I saw him sitting on the side of the bed in his shorts and his face in his hands as if he was just as upset as I was.

I immediately lost my fervor and melted at the sight of his worried eyes. He hadn't heard me enter so I quietly mumbled his name and he shot off the bed and ran to hug me tightly.

"I am so…so damn sorry Bella." He said and nuzzled his nose into my hair. "I don't know what I was thinking…I should have just done it. I didn't like turning you down…especially when you were so willing. And honestly I have no clue why I did it but now I understand…the time is not right for us to be together in that manner. I am so sorry."

I waited for him to finish speaking before I sighed and then wrapped my arms under his and around his back. Why was I so mad to begin with? I had already forgotten.

I nodded into his chest in agreement, "It's not the right time."
He jerked back and looked into my eyes with a worried edge. "I see that now…before it didn't make sense to me but now I get it. I am sorry if I pushed you and made you feel uncomfortable and when we do have sex I don't want it to be because you feel pressured. I want it to be completely your choice and when you are comfortable with it."

So he wasn't just turning me down because it wasn't his call on whether we did it or not? I was unsure as to what to say to him so I simply nodded.

He kissed me passionately for a few minutes and finally we crawled back into bed and fell asleep in each other's arms. Jacob woke me the next morning with a kiss and slight shake of my arm.

I blinked awake and looked to see that he was already in his suit and ready to leave. Quickly, I sat up and looked around the room trying to make sense of it all.

"Don't get up." He urged and helped me back down to the bed. "I just wanted to tell you that I was leaving."

"Oh," I sat up again and pulled on his arm to hug him tightly to me.

"I'll miss you Bella." He mumbled into my hair and I sighed with a slight smile.

"I'll miss you, too."

He hugged me tightly and pulled back to kiss me deeply. "Call me when you leave Alice's tonight."

I frowned for a second…he didn't know about-oh, I had told him that I was spending time with Alice. "What about the time change?"

He smiled and shook his head. "I'll answer, I promise."

I smiled and kissed him one more time before he pulled away with his duffle bag over his shoulder. He walked to the door and opened it to let a tired looking Sam come in. Last night at dinner we had agreed that I could keep Sam in my apartment so that he wouldn't have to go the kennel. Sam would enjoy that more…

"Bye baby." He called from the door as Sam jumped up and curled around on Jacob's pillow.

"Bye. I will call, I promise." I told him and Sam sat up and whined as if to tell Jacob he had forgotten to say bye to him.

"Bye Sam." He said with a smile.

I blew him a kiss and watched through heavy eyes as he shut the door behind him and left Sam and me in his room alone.

I was sad that Jacob was leaving but I was so tired that it was hard to pay much attention to the emotional pain and soon I fell back asleep. I swear I don't think that I moved until I heard Sam whining and pawing at the bedroom door.

Sitting up quickly I realized that he probably needed to be let outside for a few minutes. With a groan I shoved myself out of the bed and grabbed my cell as I slipped on Jacob's house slippers and opened the door to lead Sam down the stairs and to the back door. As we stepped out on the back porch and he took off running I looked to my cell phone and stifled a yawn.

There was a message from Jacob. Smiling, I dialed my voicemail and listened with a delighted smile.

"Hey baby…I am about to get on the plane and I just wanted to say once more that I am really sorry about last night…and to make up for it you have the entire day off. I called Jane and told her you would be doing errands for me the rest of the weekend while I was away and that you wouldn't be in the office this weekend." Jane was the secretary below me…I guess one would call her my secretary. "You can thank me for it tonight when you call." He laughed lightly at himself and said, "Ok, they just called my gate number. I miss you already and tell Sam I miss him too. I will talk to you tonight. Bye baby."

I left the voicemail on there instead of deleting it, and hung up the phone with a smile on my face. I loved when he got me out of work and I especially loved when he called and left little messages on my voicemail.

I smiled down at the phone and was off in la-la land as Sam came trotting back on the porch with his tongue hanging out. He walked to the door and then turned to look at me as if he was telling me to come on because he was ready to go in.

"You are such a man Sam…always wanting me to move at your speed."

He barked once as I pushed the door open and I rolled my eyes at him with a laugh. I filled up his water bowl and his food bowl and then made my way upstairs to the bedroom. It was only eight…I was going back to sleep.

When I rolled back over at noon I felt so rested and it was much needed after the crazy week that I had had…and it would probably be an even longer crazy weekend. Actually, it was bound and determined to be a long weekend…

"Shit." I mumbled under my breath as I remembered two things…I had to go to the gym today, and I have a blind date tonight.

I pouted and rolled back over to bury my face under the pillow. Maybe I could go back to sleep and sleep straight through the day.

Just then I heard Sam bark and leap onto the bed right beside of me. He began nudging my pillow with his nose and then licking my arm.

"Alright," I argued and through the pillow off of my head. "I'm up, I'm up."

Getting out of the bed I checked my phone and saw where Alice had text me multiple times inquiring on my absence at work.

Did you go to NY with Jacob?

I will kill you if you bail on this date tonight!

Why are you not at work right now?

Just then my phone began ringing in my hand and it was none other than the very infamous Alice.

"Hello?" I answered as I walked to the bathroom stretching my back out.

"Where the hell are you at?" She scream/whispered into the phone.

"I just got out of bed….are you in the office on the phone?" I asked wondering why she was whispering.

"Yes," She hissed. "And you can't fuss at me for it because you are not here." She huffed and I am positive that she crossed her arms.

"I won't fuss but what if Jane sees you?"

"Well Jane can kiss my ass. Why are you not here?" She asked in a perturbed tone.

"Because Jacob told me that I could have the day off." I told her with a smile on my face.

I stared at myself in the mirror and shuddered when I remembered everything that had happened last night. I closed my eyes and turned away from my reflection trying not to think about it.

"Is that because you are screwing him?" She dropped her voice even quieter.

"No, I am not screwing him!" I said with a clipped tone. And just when I was trying to forget last night…

"Ok, ok. Meet me at my house at four. I got to go see you then bye." She said and abruptly hung up the phone. Jane must have been walking towards her or something.

With a resigned sigh I jumped in the shower knowing that I couldn't put the gym off any longer, especially if I had to be at Alice's at four.

I showered quickly and dressed in my gym clothes with a swim suit underneath them. Rosalie had said something about swimming today and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing but nonetheless…I would hate it.

At one o'clock I was pulling into the parking lot in front of the gym and praying to the Heavens above that I wouldn't drown today. I walked straight in the door and saw Rosalie waiting with an excited smile on her face. That made me even more nervous.

"Ready to swim?" She asked as I approached.

I gave her a nervous smile and motioned with my hand for her to lead the way.

So? What did you think? Great, right? I know! Hahaha

Ok but seriously...I know I hate Jacob too and I am sorry that it got that far but I SWEAR on my fanfic stories they do not go any further than that! NOTE: The previous statement is very crucial to the remainder of the story and unless you want to bite your nails down to the quick log that information away in your mental filing cabinets! I'm serious...pink post-it note it...it's good information for the future. Such good info I will repeat it. JACOB AND BELLA DO NOT GO ANY FURTHER THAN THAT!

Ok :)

Go review and let me know what you think please and thank you. Guess what is next? The BLIND DATE! YAyayayayayayaayay...I am excited about it can you tell?

Alright so my recommendation for the week is not a fanfic story it is a movie. Took my nieces and nephew to see the new Disney movie Tangled. It is my new favorite Disney movie and is a def must see. So load up your kids, your nieces and nephews, your cousins, baby siblings, or the kids you kidnapped from the park and take them to see the movie. Or...just put on your big girl panties and show your support for Disney and watch it with your peers! It is great!

Ok...I do believe that I am done for now. Chap 5 aka the blind date, soon I promise! Can't wait. See you all then. GO REVIEW! :D

~Blueopal~