So I wrote this while listening to Secondhand Love by Cassadee Pope, who is awesome if you want to check out her new EP. Anyway, that song kind of puts me in an Olivia/Fitz mood (if you listen to the lyrics, a lot of them sound like them), which means this chapter probably makes less sense than it would. Also it's short. Sorry. I'm off to DC tomorrow, so I'll actually be posting nothing this weekend, for the first time in like 2 weeks. I really wrote too much at the top of these things. You can all just skip down to the story. Anyway, thank you so much to anyone reading this. Reviews make my crappy days at school so much better.
"So some agents came to my office today and told me that the review of my cases was a mistake and apologized for the inconvenience. You have anything to do with that?"
"I talked to some friends at the white house."
"That's not what I meant. Just because you ran out on me this morning doesn't mean that we don't need to talk Liv."
"You had a long day. Maybe I should go home."
"Liv," he pleaded, grabbing her arm lightly, "please."
She just looked at him expressionlessly. He wanted to fight her on this. He wanted her to trust him. But he could already see her slipping away. He was an enabler. He was enabling her to manipulate him. And even though she wasn't doing it maliciously, it still hurt. He wanted her to let him in, not jerk him around all the time-he wanted her to make a choice, not to give him false hope. He knew she was hiding something, but he was too smitten to really push. So he dropped it.
"You know what it doesn't matter how. Thank you Liv." It was a peace offering that she gladly accepted.
And just like that, things shifted back to the way they were. And as they cuddled up on the couch, watching a movie and eating take-out, it's like it had never mattered.
She didn't deserve any of this. That she was sure of. David was perfect. Any woman would kill for someone like him. She couldn't even look him in the eye and tell him the truth the one time he asked. He had been patient with her. He had allowed her to take things slowly. He never asked her for anything, but he still gave her everything. He let her keep all of her secrets to herself and never pushed her for more than she was willing to give. He always told her he loved her, while she could never repeat the words after seeing how badly they could be used against her. In short, he did everything exactly right. And she repaid him by running for the door the one time he asked for something in return. One day, she thought. One day she would tell him the truth. She would pay back all the times he put her first. One day…
It was 4:30 AM. She couldn't sleep that night. She should have known that seeing him again would do this to her. While David slept peacefully next to her, she just stared at the ceiling, willing the smug look on Fitz's face that afternoon to stop haunting her whenever she closed her eyes. As much as she tried to be happy, sometimes she wondered if she ever could be. Almost six months of moving on, and twenty minutes brought her right back to the dark place she had been before. Her first instinct was to go to Pope and Associates, do some work. Any work. But that's who she was. She fought the impulse, and instead squirmed herself in David's arms. She knew it would wake him. But right now, she wanted to feel settled. And even as he was waking up, looking over to make sure she was okay, she was already starting to slip into the oblivion of sleep.