Author's Note:
This is from Blaine's point of view and explains how he's experiencing things in his erased state. Warning for a homophobic slur.
As usual, a warm thank you to my excellent beta hkvoyage and the artist who made the lovely cover art, cc-graphics.
Chapter 4: ErasedBlaine was… drifting. His mind empty, his body non-existing, he floated in space, feeling at one with the earth and the sun and the sky. Then, all of a sudden, he felt a tug. It pulled him down, down, down, to a house he recognised and a room he knew as his own. Once. Long ago.
There was a boy in his room. A boy who'd found Blaine's star bow tie and now hastily put it in his pocket. Before he hurried out of the room, though, he looked straight at Blaine and smiled, and oh… What a smile it was! And those eyes!
Blaine hadn't felt human in a long time, but he knew that if he'd still had his body, his heart would have been racing now.
Oh… There you are! I've been looking for you forever.
Blaine was still coming to terms with being brought to the Anderson house all of a sudden, and seeing the most beautiful boy he'd ever laid eyes on, when he felt another tug. This time, Blaine was transported to the kitchen, where the very same boy was examining a magnet Blaine had made for his mom when he was little, looking straight at Blaine again for a moment and blinking owlishly. Then he looked at a picture of Blaine as a tiny tot, and his mouth curved into a smile again.
Moments later, though, the boy looked around him warily and then shivered.
Does that mean… Does he sense me, somehow? Do I scare him? He probably thinks I'm a ghost.
Blaine didn't like the idea of the beautiful boy being afraid of him, but what could he do? Nothing. Nothing but watch the boy leave.
Blaine drifted through the Anderson house, noticing absently that it was empty, except for – ha! His Nightbird costume on the highest shelf of his closet! Who on earth put that there?
And in the attic, in a dark corner, stood his first guitar, though Blaine was sure he'd seen it standing against the wall in his bedroom the day he came home from hospital.
In the hall, on the hat shelf, lay a home video of him and Cooper, and there were photographs of Blaine scattered around the house, carefully hidden.
What WAS this? An Easter egg hunt?
Blaine put it from his mind and left the house. There was nothing to keep him there.
K&B
The next time Blaine felt the by now familiar tug, he ended up in the beautiful boy's bedroom. The boy was touching Blaine's star bow tie, his eyes unfocused and his mouth hanging open. After a while, he took his hand off the bow tie and looked up, staring right through Blaine, deep in thought.
He doesn't look scared, though. I call that progress.
Blaine decided to hang around for a while. Only when the beautiful boy was deeply asleep did he drift off, and he didn't venture far.
The next morning, he saw the boy put on his bow tie, torn between admiration at how good he looked in it and resentment because that was HIS bow tie, and his favourite, too. Then, the boy bossed the rest of his family around until they were all wearing outfits he approved of, and after breakfast, they all set out for an appointment to buy a house. Was it the Anderson house?
Blaine wanted to know, so he drifted into the car with the boy's family and accompanied them to the notary public's office. When he saw his mother there, looking older and sadder now, he knew that his hunch had been right. He wondered where his father was, though. At work, probably, but shouldn't he have been there for something as momentous as selling a house?
The family was introduced as the Hummels: Burt, Carole, Finn, and the beautiful boy was called Kurt.
Pam noticed the accessory Kurt had chosen, and mentioned how fond Blaine had been of bow ties, until the Andersons had 'lost' him.
If Blaine could have snorted, he would have.
Very diplomatic, Mom. Lost. Yeah, right. Dad lost me like the wood cutter lost Hansel and Gretel.
The Hummels bought it, though, and offered their condolences, even telling Pam she was welcome to drop in at her old house when she missed Blaine too much.
K&B
Blaine hadn't expected to ever see his mom again after that. He'd drifted off absently, thinking of Kurt and his beautiful eyes and smile. It was weird that he could remember everything about Kurt with such startling clarity when the rest of the time he'd spent bodiless was a blur.
Well, I guess that's because it's the first interesting thing that has happened to me since I lost my body. And it doesn't hurt that he's so gorgeous…
The tug, when it came, brought him to the Anderson kitchen – well, he guessed it was the Hummel kitchen now. Kurt was holding a cookie tin that looked very familiar, his eyes unfocused, and Pam was sitting at the table opposite Kurt, staring at him intently. Kurt snapped out of his reverie, blushing, and offered Pam a cookie. Pam accepted politely, with a satisfied grin.
Blaine heard his mother arrange for the trees to be pruned, her eyes scheming and still focussed on Kurt, so when she left, Blaine followed.
After stepping into her car, Pam didn't drive away immediately. Instead, she made a phone call. And not to the gardener.
"Hey, sweetie. It's Mom. I told the Hummels you'd be stopping by tomorrow to prune the trees. You can set up things in the tree house then."
Pam cocked her head to the side. "What name did I call you? Uhm… Mark, I think I said."
Pam snorted. "Yes, I know that's generic and your beautiful face deserves better. That would be why your real name is Cooper, not Mark. Think of this as an acting exercise, and try not to overdo it, okay?"
Now Blaine was intrigued. What was this about the tree house? Why was Cooper coming here, pretending to be a gardener? He decided to hang around until Cooper came.
The next day, when Cooper came, Blaine almost didn't recognise him. Cooper had gone all-out disguising himself, wearing coloured contacts, a wig, fake moustaches and a fake beard, and tanning his skin. He introduced himself as Marco and spoke with a bad Spanish accent.
Mrs Hummel didn't seem to mind, though, blushing when Cooper flirted with her and sighing with a dreamy expression when he went into the garden to do the pruning.
Blaine followed, and saw Cooper climb into the tree house, where he opened his backpack and got out a bottle of soda, a bag of sweets and two books, all of which he put on the floor. Then he hastily climbed down, put on gardener's gloves and got out all the equipment needed to prune the trees.
When the work was done, Cooper went back inside, and accepted a cup of coffee from Mrs Hummel, who sent her sons to pick up all the loose branches. That made Cooper flash her a content grin, and he settled more comfortably in his chair and took a cookie to dunk into his coffee.
And then Blaine felt a tug again, and in a split second, he found himself in the tree house again, staring at Kurt, who had a book in his hand and a faraway look in his eyes.
The other book was still on the floor, and Blaine recognised it as his diary.
Uh-oh… I don't want anyone to find that and read it. Why didn't Mom throw that away? I hope Kurt doesn't notice or want it?
No such luck, though. Kurt took a handkerchief out of his pocket and picked up the diary, without touching it with his hands.
What's that all about?
When both boys went back into the kitchen, Finn held up the bag of sweets and yelled, "Look what I found, Mom!"
Kurt didn't say anything, but he glanced down at the books he was holding and smiled. Cooper, who was still there, nursing his coffee, saw what Kurt was holding and fist-pumped with a triumphant grin. He drained his coffee cup, thanked Mrs Hummel and said his goodbyes.
Blaine followed Cooper to his car, and sure enough, as soon as Cooper was sitting down, he reached for his cell phone and called his mom. "Hey, Mom. Mission accomplished. Kurt found the books."
There was a pause, and then Cooper rolled his eyes. "Mo-om… They don't know me at all. To them, I'm just a gardener. Why would they think anything was wrong? I pruned the trees, didn't I? Yes, I was careful. I disguised myself and everything."
Cooper listened to his mom's answer again and sighed. "I know. We wait. Kurt has everything now. The ball's in his court. Let's hope we get Blaine back soon."
Wait… What? That's what all those hidden things are about? Kurt has to find them? And then somehow I get my body back? How does that work, exactly?
Blaine was full of questions, and he drifted up into the sky to empty his mind. No use in fretting about something he had no control over, or hoping for something that might never come to pass. Anyway, he didn't deserve to get his life back, did he, seeing as it was HIS fault Thomas had died? If Blaine had never taken him to that Sadie Hawkins dance, they'd both be alive and well today.
Blaine was still mulling things over when he felt another tug and was brought to his bedroom – well, Kurt's now, he guessed. Kurt was sitting on his bed and gaping at Blaine. Did he actually see Blaine? Feeling silly, Blaine tried to wave a phantom arm. Kurt's eyes dropped down to Blaine's diary and started to read.
I'll take that as a no, then. But I guess he must sense me, somehow. Ugh, I don't like him reading my diary, but what can I do?
Blaine stayed with Kurt as he made his way through Blaine's diary, smiling and even outright laughing at what he read at first, and then becoming more solemn and sad as the tenor of the tales grew grim. Kurt mumbled sympathetically at a few passages, and Blaine got the feeling that he truly understood.
In another life, we might have been friends.
K&B
Blaine followed Kurt to school. Kurt was wearing Blaine's star bow tie again, coupled with an outfit that seemed to come straight out of a fashion magazine. He looked stunning, and Blaine was glad that no-one could see him stare at Kurt and take offence.
I guess being a ghost has its perks after all. Now I can look my fill and nobody will be the wiser.
First period proved to be a history lesson. The teacher, a short woman with tired eyes and a bored expression, droned on and on about the Second World War. Kurt and a tiny but energetic brunette were the only two in the classroom who paid attention to what she said and made notes, raising their hands every now and then to ask a question. The teacher didn't seem to like being disturbed from her monotone rambling that way, grumbling and keeping her answer as short as possible. Kurt didn't let it get to him, though, questioning her further until her answer satisfied him.
Tenacious, huh? I like that. And he's much more than just a pretty face. He's got brains, too, and a mind of his own. He's amazing.
Second period was a Spanish lesson, and the teacher, no doubt trying to be cool, taught them a Spanish song, telling his students they needed to soak in the whole culture surrounding the language because that would help them master it. Kurt rolled his eyes, but joined in with the singing.
If Blaine had felt attracted to Kurt before because of his stellar looks and his smile and his intelligence, that was nothing to the lightning bolt that went through him as soon as he heard Kurt sing. Kurt had a higher voice than most boys, Blaine had noticed that much, but he hadn't realised that Kurt was a countertenor. He sounded like an angel, and Blaine listened spell-bound, forgetting their surroundings. He saw and heard nothing but Kurt, and it moved and overwhelmed him. Not for the first time that day, he praised himself lucky that no-one would notice his lovesick staring and pummel him back into hospital.
Blaine soon regretted being a ghost again, though, when Kurt had two slushies thrown at him and all Blaine could do was watch it happen.
The two jocks who'd slushied Kurt high-fived, laughing loudly.
Kurt shuddered and then gritted his teeth. "One day, you will all work for me."
"What was that, faggot? Slushies not doing it for you? You'd rather have a knuckle sandwich?"
"You can't punch the gay out of me any more than I can punch the ignoramus out of you," Kurt retorted, and then he ducked the jock's fist and stalked off, wiping coloured ice off his face.
Kurt is gay, too? And he's so brave, standing up for himself!
Kurt stumbled into the nearest bathroom to clean himself up and take off his wet clothes. Kurt's vest and shirt were ruined by the slushie dye, but Blaine's bow tie didn't show even the slightest trace of red. Kurt perked up when he saw that, happily tying it back around his neck as soon as he'd put on another shirt.
Blaine accompanied Kurt to lunch, drinking in the quick play of emotions over Kurt's expressive face as he talked with his friends.
And then he got a shock. Two other friends arrived at the table - cheerleaders, going by their outfits. One of them looked straight at Blaine and smiled, and then sat down next to him instead of moving right through him.
Can she… Can she see me?
Apparently, she could. She asked Kurt who his 'new friend' was, and when Kurt looked at her as if she'd just grown an extra head, she told him there was a boy sitting next to him, who looked at Kurt like he was his boyfriend, apparently.
Oops… I guess my crush is showing…
That galvanised Kurt into action. He took the girl by the arm and tugged her away from the table. Blaine followed, and wasn't at all surprised when Kurt asked his friend – whom he called Britt - to describe Blaine. He was taken aback, however, when Kurt's follow-up question was if the girl could talk to Blaine.
Is that even possible?
No, it wasn't, Britt explained, because Blaine was "erased", whatever that might mean. By a potion her aunt made. Were they both witches?
The next part of her explanation was more interesting. Blaine could be brought back to life by his "true love".
Would that be Kurt? Is that why Mom and Cooper are hiding all sorts of mementoes from my life for Kurt to find?
Blaine liked that idea. Kurt, however, seemed sceptical, hardly believing Britt at all, though she promised to explain things further after school.
She left, then, with a wave, and Kurt stared after her, and then looked around, no doubt trying to see Blaine, but failing. "Blaine? Are you really here?"
How do ghosts appear to people? What do I do?
In the end, Blaine decided that, since Kurt was able to sense him, he'd concentrate on sending his feelings Kurt's way – hope and nervousness and frustration and admiration. He felt wave after wave of it leave him, and Kurt gasped. "You are! I can't see you, but I can feel you. I… I'm not sure what this is all about, but I'll get to the bottom of it, I promise. And if I can help you, I will."