tuesday again :) thank you all so much for the great review, enjoy :)

ON THE TURNING AWAY

Chapter 4

Kerri sat in the tall grass, her back resting against an old oak tree. Sam's words kept running through her mind, but for some reason the sixteen year old couldn't stop the memory of what Sam had said. She wanted to help Dean, more than anything in the world, but she knew she couldn't step in his way. She was his friend, and she knew how hard others made his life. Dean was everyone's rock, the one everyone turned to when times were hard, or when they needed to vent. Any problem— Dean handled it. When Sam was sick or hurt, Dean was the one he turned to. When something scared Evelyn, Dean was the only one who could calm her. When John was hurt or falling, Dean was the one he relied on to help lift him up. It was just who Dean was, the way he was. He was selfless to a fault, and Kerri knew she couldn't add anymore weight to his shoulders. Sam might not understand it, but standing by Dean's decision was the only way she could help him.

She sighed, her gaze drifting out over the bluff she was sitting on, the ground sloping away to reveal the plains beyond. Suddenly, her world felt very small. She wasn't the kind of person who looked deep into the future, who planned her life long before lived. But she still hoped for things, prayed for things. Everything in life could be taken away, stolen at a moment's notice, Kerri knew that, and so John's recent decision terrified her more than anyone knew. The Winchesters had grown past Valley as far as hunting was concerned. John had more contacts than he needed, and now he had Dean as back up— Kerri knew there were few reasons for the trio to return.

Over the past few years they'd used school as their basic leverage, since John didn't see any problem in leaving young children home alone. It was a lame excuse and Kerri was certain John followed along because he knew what it meant to his boys, but it still kept them coming back a few times each year. But now Sam and Dean weren't 'boys' anymore, at least not in John's eyes— they had grown, and the times for childish indulgences were apparently over.

She'd overhead John and her father talking before he'd left, and the conversation wasn't good. She was laying at the top of the steps like she always had, listening to the stories hunters told after a few beers, always mindful of Evelyn and Sam sleeping just a few doors behind her perch. When they were children Dean often sat beside her, engrossed in the stories. But now, more often than not, he was at the table telling them. She tried not to be afraid when she heard him talk about his encounters, tried to tell herself it was what made Dean happy— what he wanted— but she couldn't help but miss the boy that used to sit beside her.

It was something Kerri was going to have to learn to accept, something she'd been dreading for ages— one day they were going to have to grow up. Kerri wasn't naive like Evelyn, she knew life changed as time marched on, knew that what we dream of a future is rarely what comes to pass. The redhead had learned long ago not to dream. Dreams didn't come true, they just tortured you with what could have been and what will never be. In a perfect world, in a world of her dreams, there would be no hunting, no death. They would have their mothers and Dean and Sam would live down the street, and they'd all be happy. Yes it was an impossible world since hunting and death was what brought Dean to her in the first place, but that didn't change it from being her dream. She couldn't picture a life without Dean but she knew that someday, she might have to.

"Hey, you alright?"

Kerri looked up to see Dean standing beside her, picking his way down the overgrown path. She knew he would find her there. She often chose that same secluded location when she wanted to paint and her house was a little too crazy. It wasn't far off the main road, maybe a couple hundred yards or so, but the tall grass the large trees made it an ideal hiding place. She leaned back against the tree, staring out over the plains as her friend sat beside her.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Fine like running out on dinner fine?"

"Dean, just let it go."

"You've been asking me to do that a lot lately. Is this about me again?"

Kerri looked up at Dean, it was no secret people were fighting about him and his future. For his part Dean took it in stride, but Kerri knew it was eating him up inside. Dean didn't want people to be in pain, didn't want them in distress, angry, afraid. And knowing he was the root of everyone's current state of unrest weighted heavily on the other teen's heart. Her silence seemed to be all the assurance he needed.

"Look, Ker, I didn't wanna drag you into the middle of this."

"It's not your fault, Dean, the middle just seems to be my permanent lot in life."

"There's worse places to be."

"Yeah, I guess."

"What did Sam say?"

"Nothing others haven't already said. He wants me to talk you out of it."

"Come on, Kerri, you wouldn't go storming off just cause Sam was annoying you. Please tell me what's going on."

"You had to use the 'p' word."

Dean just smiled, nudging Kerri as they sat in the warm summer silence.

"He doesn't think I care about you. He said I'm just enabling John and his crusade because I refuse to help you."

Dean sat silent and Kerri knew what the blonde was thinking. And she knew it wasn't what she needed to hear. "That's just Sammy blowing off steam."

"It's more than that, Dean, he's not little Sam anymore."

"He's still a kid, he just doesn't understand yet."

Kerri let out a long breath, closing her eyes as she tried to collect herself— maybe she had let Dean go for too long. "He understands more than you think."

"I've got it under control, Kerri."

"I don't think you do, Dean."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that we're changing, getting older, and stuff's not as black and white as it used to be."

"Our lives were never black and white." Dean answered cuttingly.

"Yes they were, Dean. I love my dad, I really do, but him and John aren't the men they were when we were kids."

"How have they changed?"

"They themselves haven't, but the way we look at them has."

"They're heros. My dad is a hero."

"I didn't say they weren't."

"Then what are you saying?"

"That 'I'm fine' and 'it'll get better' aren't gonna fix the problem anymore."

"And finishing high school will?"

"This isn't about that, not entirely."

"Then what is it about?"

"The future. Sam and Evelyn's future. John wants the same thing for Sam and I'm telling you this now, Dean, he's not gonna follow along with the order."

Dean sighed, resting his chin on one of his bent knees. "I know. Hell, he doesn't follow orders now."

"He'll listen to you, Dean, but he's not gonna go along with everything like it's a-ok."

"Like me?" Dean shot back.

"Like you pretend to." Kerri knew Dean, and she knew him well. Deep down, Dean wasn't the robot soldier he pretended to be. No, deep down he was one of the most remarkable people she knew. He had the unfathomable ability to care. Everyone, everywhere, whether he knew them for life or an hour, gained his protection, fell under his wing. It was something Kerri didn't see in other people. Others tried to help, tried to care for all those who needed it, but more often than not they became bogged down in the overwhelming crisis of fear. But not Dean Winchester. He could push aside fear, push aside failure and focus on healing, on protecting. The only problem was that most of the time the fears he pushed aside were his own, and they often came back to the surface with killer force.

"I can fix it, Kerri."

"You shouldn't have to. That's what I'm trying to tell you. This shouldn't all be on your shoulders."

"What do you want me to do, then?"

"Stay here."

"I wasn't planning on going anywhere."

"Not for a few months. Stay." Kerri looked him deep in the eyes, trying to convey the sincerity of her claim. She wanted him to stay, not for an hour, not for a day, but forever. It was time Dean had a home.

"You know I can't."

"Why not?"

"Cause my dad needs me, Sammy needs me."

"Sam can stay, too."

"I have to do what's best for my family, I have to stay with them."

"Yeah, ok." Kerri whispered, turning her gaze back to the fields. She could feel him slipping away, even as he sat by her side.

"Hey, Ker." Dean began after a moment, rubbing his hands on his jeans. "You didn't tell my dad that, did you?"

"Tell him what?"

"That you wanted me to stay."

"No, I haven't told anyone but you."

"Good, good. Lets leave it that way."

"Why?"

"My dad's been on a high horse lately, and Tom going against him at every turn isn't really helping. If he thinks your all trying to talk me into to staying here—."

"You don't think?"

"I wouldn't be surprised."

"Your dad would never take you away from here permanently." It was something Kerri really hadn't thought about, but something completely unacceptable.

"I wouldn't be so sure. We only came this summer cause Sam wouldn't stop begging him about it."

"God, Dean, how did this happen?" Kerri moaned, resting her face in her hands. It was supposed to be a good summer, a fun summer. But now, now she was facing the reality of losing everything she knew.

She wasn't naive, she knew she'd placed too much on her friendship with Dean. Yeah she knew other people around town, but she only had one real friend, and that was Dean. Without him, it would just be her and Evelyn.

Kerri felt Dean's hand on the back of her neck and resisted the urge to shrug it away. She should be focusing on him, helping him, not the other way around. "Maybe I'm just reading too much into everything." Dean began after a few minutes.

"You know your dad better than I do."

"He'll calm down, just— don't bring up the staying thing."

"Alright."

"You know, if I could I would."

"I shouldn't have even asked."

"No, Ker, it means a lot to me that you did." Dean smiled at her before looking back out over the bluff.

Kerri looked over to Dean, taking in the teen sitting beside her. She'd known him for ten years, but to Kerri, it felt like a lifetime. She could see in him great potential, a great future, if everyone else stopped meddling with it. Everyone— Tom, Sam, Evelyn and John— they all wanted Dean to be something other than what he was-- they wanted him to be what they needed. But Kerri didn't see him as clay to be molded, he wasn't someone who's life could be shaped to her own desired outcome. He was just Dean, and to the redhead it was all he ever needed to be. He needed someone to help guide him down the rocky and dangerous road she knew he'd travel, and Kerri took on that role with passion. She would stand beside him, allow him to be himself, because she knew when all was said and done, it was the only thing she could do for him.

The pair sat in silence for a few more minutes, both taking solace in their friend's presence. Life was fleeting, Kerri knew that, and she relished these quiet moments all the more because of it. She was broken from her peaceful haze by the sound of footsteps in the grass behind them. "Someone's coming."

"Probably Sammy and Ev, those two never listen to me." Dean began, turning to face the direction of the street, but he couldn't see anyone.

"No, it's someone grown."

Kerri had always been able to tell a person by the way they walked. It was something she'd been doing since she was a small child, even before her mother died. Dean had asked her countless times how she did it, but she could never really explain it. It wasn't like she was tracking someone, wasn't figuring out if a would be attacker was large or small. No, she could see into a person by the way they walked, and she was at a loss to explain why.

"Well, well, well." A voice broke through the heavy air around them, "What have we here."

Kerri just closed her eyes, wishing life could be peaceful for just a few minutes. But the moment the two older men walked into the Tavern, she should have known there was going to be trouble. Mark and Walter Miller had it out for Dean— hell they had it out for everyone. They were walking reminders of the one glaring problem Valley had, the fact that it was run by the Miller family. Valley was small, a village more than a town, and remote. There weren't many to chose between when it came time to name a mayor or police or anything, and the Millers had been one of the original families to settle the town. Yes there were others there, but the Millers cast a long and ugly shadow.

"Why don't you two just keep walking." Dean stated, standing slowly while blocking Kerri from the pair.

"Big words for a kid." Walter stepped up, his eyes sliding between Kerri and Dean.

Kerri knew they'd be around for them sooner or later, hell she was positive the two oafs had been following her and Dean for the last few days. What they'd done had been stupid, but no one ever said she and Dean were known for making great decisions. Jeff had been gracious enough let Dean play pool for free during the day, but rules were rules and at the stroke of ten p.m Dean was always thrown out. John had been getting exceedingly upset about it, mainly because he knew Dean could play pool better than almost anyone. But Jeff ran a clean place, no hustling and no underage patrons allowed.

However, the bar on the main road out to Cody, that was another story. Yes, they were both only sixteen, but either their were awesome, or the bar didn't care— and Kerri was pretty sure it was the latter. They'd been out driving the Impala, John having given it to Dean for his birthday, when they'd first found the backwoods bar. The cliental was a mixture of bikers and truckers and Dean had insisted Kerri say in the car when he went in— an order she obeyed for about thirty seconds. They'd left a few hours later with a couple hundred extra dollars and a very pissed off set of drunken brothers on their tale. And thinking back now it was also the current reason why Dean was without a car. Apparently, for all his moaning and groaning about Jeff kicking Dean out, John hadn't been all that overjoyed with the teens' little side trip. She still thought it was a bit hypocritical— they hadn't been drinking, they were simply playing pool.

"I don't believe 'kid' was the word you used to describe me when I was wiping the pool table with you." Dean smirked, straightening to his full hight. He was tall for sixteen, though Kerri knew he'd probably grow a few more inches, but he was solid, and a well trained fighter on top of it. Fighting was wrong, Kerri knew that, but that didn't stop the image of Dean kicking their cocky asses from running through her head.

"Won't the police be happy when they hear about two kids in the bar." Walter began, his lackey Mark standing a few feet behind.

"Well, here's how I see it. Uncle Fred, our friendly neighborhood police chief is tired of you two screwing up— from what I hear. And, you know, going to a bar is technically a violation of your parol. Ker, didn't Fred say something about no more second chances?"

"I believe his exact words were 'screw up again and off to prison." Kerri supplied, standing behind Dean.

"Tough love's sometimes the only thing that gets through to the lug-nuts." Dean shook his head like he was disciplining a week old puppy. Or maybe getting ready to put old yeller down.

"You better learn to watch your mouth, boy." Walter advanced a few steps, and while Kerri flinched and turned her attention to Mark, Dean didn't move a muscle. If she didn't know any better, she'd say he was enjoying himself.

"Or what, you'll whine at me?"

It happened in an instant, but their years of living with each other had both Kerri and Dean prepared. The instant Walter moved Dean countered, ducking and weaving, sending the older man stumbling on the uneven ground of the bluff. Dean pushed Kerri back as he moved around the tree, taking a few steps into the small clearing they'd been sitting in. Kerri's eyes immediately went to Mark, knowing the older man was planning on sneaking up behind Dean. She didn't waste a second.

Kerri anticipated the black haired man's move before he did, falling to the ground as she kicked out, tripping Mark and sending him tumbling through the clearing. The drop off from the bluff wasn't steep, but she knew if he did managed to stumble over it he'd be out of the fight. She scuttled back a little, watching Dean as he fought off Walter's advances. The older man knew how to fight, well at least he thought he did. But Dean was trained, and if Kerri was reading his body language correctly, the teen looked a little bit bored.

Dean countered each move perfectly, sparring with the man rather than fighting. And while Walter was growing tired and beginning to drop his hands, Dean showed no signs of weariness. A few well placed hits later and Walter was rolling down the clearing, coming to a stop by Mark who still hadn't gained his footing.

"Come on, Ker." Dean began, pulling Kerri to her feet, his eyes never leaving the dazed brothers.

The teens quickly made their way out of the clearing, knowing the Miller brothers would be behind them as soon as they gained their feet, and Kerri knew this time they weren't gonna fight fair. They half walked, half ran up the street, not wanting to draw the attention of all the nosy residents of Valley, especially Anna. If the shopkeeper found out they'd been fighting there was gonna be hell to pay. Heck, Kerri was still getting reamed for hitting Tim Collins and that was nine years ago.

They collected their bikes at the Tavern before making their way to Anna's store to pick up Sam and Evelyn. Kerri let out a sigh of relief when she saw the twelve year olds sitting out on the weathered porch, each with a soda and a bag of goodies between them. Kerri knew that, if they had to go into the store to get them Anna would without a doubt corner them.

"Come on," Dean began curtly, not even stopping by the pair, "we're going home."

"What? Why?" Evelyn asked, while both she and Sam jumped to their feet to follow after the fast moving pair. "And why are you all dirty, Kerri?"

"No reason." Kerri answered, noticing for the first time that her entire side was covered in mud and grass.

"Was it the Millers?" Sam asked, throwing their bag of treats into the basket on the back of his bike.

"Maybe."

"You should turn them in." Sam began, turning serious. "They attacked minors, plus they were in the Tavern earlier, which is a violation of their parol."

"What are you, our lawyer?" Dean asked, shooting his brother a look. "You're forgetting the part where Kerri and I snuck into a bar underage and gambled at a pool table."

"Still, look what they did to Kerri."

Dean stopped so quick Kerri nearly hit him with the front tire of her bike. The older teen swung around, his green eyes frighteningly sharp as he took in her appearance. "What'd they do to you."

"Nothing, I fell when I knocked Mark down the hill." Kerri answered, shooting Sam an angered look— she knew exactly what the young brunette was trying to do. "I'm just dirty."

"Still, I think we should stay home from now on." Dean spoke again after a minute, still studying Kerri.

"That's what I've been saying." Evelyn pipped up, sipping her soda.

"Dean, home's boring." Sam pouted, and Kerri couldn't help but laugh when Dean rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"You know I'm to the point where I'm just gonna lock you both in the attic and feed you through a slot in the door."

"I'll tell Dad if you try." Sam started, making Kerri laugh. Even at twelve years old, he still took his brother's word for gold.