A/N: Once again a huge thankyou to Mikell for taking the time to beta the chapter. Huge thankyou also again to Cindy, I don't know how I would have found the courage to keep posting this story if it weren't for your support :-) Thanks to all those who took the time to read the chapter and brainfear, thanks for reviewing :-) Usual Disclaimer, I don't own anything TMNT related :-)

Nightmares plagued his sleep. Leo standing over him, taunting him.

I'd be glad!

He'd never thought he'd hear those words. It was Leo. The one turtle he could always depend on to help him clear his mind, sort through his raging emotions. If Raph needed to shout, Leo let him. If Raph needed to fight, Leo was there, giving him what he needed. Always fighting, endlessly, day in, day out, but Leo was still always there, ready for the next fight. Ready to ease his suffering, even if he didn't know that's what he was doing.

Raph shivered in his sleep as his two younger brothers floated into his mind. Mikey pleading with him, begging him to play one of his damn video games. Donny leaning over his desk, electrical equipment surrounding him. Raph shouting, he couldn't make coffee. Donny grinning sheepishly, pointing to the wires and bolts that lay on the desk, once a coffee machine, now something else to appease his brainy brother's thirst for knowledge.

His father, endlessly patient, training them, teaching them, guiding them. Helping them find peace and comfort in who they were.

His family stood just beyond his reach, yet every time Raph moved a step closer to them, they stayed just outside his reach.

As Raph twisted violently in his sleep, shouts came through the hazy fog.

Leave him alone Sean!

I won't let you hurt him!

I already have!

Golden eyes danced before him, soft hands reaching for him, caressing him, easing his pain, replaced quickly by a face, twisted, broken, filled with fear, calling out to him. Begging him to end the suffering.

Hot, blinding pain drove down into his body making him cry out into the darkness. Something sharp driving down on his plastron, his arms, thighs, anything it could. His body on fire with pain, weakening him, making him helpless, unable to stop his invisible tormentor and…something heavy, blocking everything. Draining him of his strength, forcing him into a childlike state of vulnerability. Unable to move, think, focus, just lie helpless, unaware, yet strangely aware of something.

Someone was shaking him, forcefully shaking him, demanding him to do as they say. Rattling his senses.

"Raph. Raphael. Wake up."

Raph awoke with a start, sweat pouring down his brow, his body trembling slightly. Someone was shaking him. The room, lit by a soft glow revealed Ruby standing by the bed, hands on his plastron, shaking him gently.

"Wake up Raph. It's ok. You were dreaming, it's ok."

A cool glass pressed against his mouth, trickling soothing water down his throat.

"Drink. It will make you feel better."

Jesus the pain. It was almost unbearable. He had to grit his teeth to stop himself from crying out.

He felt something cool press against his forehead. Grateful he leaned into it, letting the coolness seep through his body.

"God, you're burning up."

Raph tried to focus bloodshot eyes on her, feeling a sharp sting in his arm.

"This should help."

What the fuck was she talking about? He struggled to make sense of her words; of what was happening to him, but he couldn't. The room was once again spinning, his head pounding. He had the distinct impression it would crack open if it pounded any harder.

A dream? Just a dream. Yet it had seemed so real. The pain had felt real, the feeling of utter helplessness had felt real.

He heard a faint noise, a snapping sound, felt pressure ease away from his wrists and ankles.

If only he could focus on what was happening. He was only vaguely aware she had released him from his restraints. Vaguely aware of gripping her small hand in his own.

His breathing was fast. His chest rising and falling quickly as he twisted his head from side to side, trying desperately to latch onto something, anything that would keep him from slipping.

Once more, he was vaguely aware of a dip in the bed.

"I'm sorry."

What? Why was she sorry? Damn it all, the fog was growing denser, suffocating him. He tightened his grip on Ruby's hand. Clinging onto her for dear life, his breath hissing out in short, painful gasps.

Not again, please God, not again. He could feel himself fading fast. Ruby's hand turning to liquid as his hand slipped away from hers. A faint scratching and snapping sound as pressure descended once more over his wrists and ankles.

The door closed gently behind her. Sighing deeply, Ruby turned to face the man standing by the door, a callous smirk engraved on his face.

"You have to stop this Sean. You're going to kill him."

The smirk grew wider, splitting his handsome face. "Am I? I'm not the one who's pumped it to the gills with drugs."

"You didn't leave me any choice!"

Sean tutted, wagging his finger at her. "Now Ruby, that's not true. You could have let it feel the pain."

She snorted, eyeing him warily. "You know I couldn't do that."

Humourless laughter rang round the room. "Poor, simple Ruby. Desperately trying to ease the creature's suffering."

"How long are you planning on holding him here?"

"As long as it takes!"

Ruby sighed again, rubbing weary hands over her face.

"He's not a threat to you. You don't have to do this."

"Oh but I do." He traced a finger down her face, flicking aside her scarf. "Haven't I been nice Ruby? Haven't I let you care for it? Let you keep it in comfort?"

Ruby forced back a shudder. His touch repulsed her. Strange how once, before she knew what he was capable of, it would have had the opposite effect.

"Please Sean…" she knew she was pleading "…just let him go."

The finger tracing her face, lowered down to her throat, his hand grasping it, choking her.

"Do not push me Ruby. I've been patient up to now, but even my patience has its limits."

Grasping desperately at the hand round her throat, Ruby managed to gasp a pained "please."

Releasing his choking hold, he stepped back, regarding her with cold indifference.

"You will do as you're told. I'll allow you to tend to its wounds. You in turn will continue to keep it sedated. I have found it makes my work easier. However, if you even attempt to free it…" His laugh echoed in her ears "…losing that pretty face of yours will be the least of your concerns."

Ruby tensed, raising a hand tentatively to her face, feeling the deep grooves the scars had left. Raising pained eyes to his face, she saw his smirk turn into a triumphant grin.

Hatred rose within her, blinding her. Longing to wipe that grin off his face, something deep within her rose up, something vaguely familiar fighting to break free.

Still grinning, Sean placed forceful hands against her shoulders, pushing her back against the wall.

"You made your choice Ruby. You vowed to honor and obey me remember?"

Cowering visibly, revulsion oozing through her at his closeness, she managed to lower her voice. "If I'd known what I was getting myself into. I'd have died rather than make those vows."

Pain flashed across her cheek. She tasted blood. His grin growing even wider, Sean bent toward her, licking away the trail of blood trickling down the side of her mouth. Hands leaving her shoulders and grabbing her waist, pulling her flush against him so she could feel his arousal.

Nausea rose within her at his touch. She weakly pushed against him, trying to free herself from his hold, even as his hands lowered, fumbling with his belt, dropping his trousers, then setting to work on hers.

Desperately trying to focus on anything but what he was doing. Ruby closed her eyes, tears rolling gently down her cheeks, her murmured pleas of "stop" going unheard as he forced himself into her, breaking her spirit further. Whispering in her ear as he moved, painfully and deliberately.

"Remember Ruby, I'm all you have. No one else would want a damaged, pathetic little loser like you."

Raph twitched furiously in his sleep. Someone was crying. He could hear them, but he couldn't see anyone.

"Where are you?" He called out, trying to see through the suffocating darkness.

There was no answer, only the continued sobbing.

"Raphael!"

He froze.

"Raphael!"

It couldn't be. Could it?

"Master Splinter?"

"Raphael! What are you doing?"

"Sensei, I can't see you!"

"Why do you not help her?"

Help who? Raph felt his way through the darkness, trying to find his father's location. It was endless, closing round him.

"Where are you?" He cried out desperately.

"We are waiting my son. We are waiting."

His father's voice grew faint. Raph felt fear clutch him.

"No! Father…please…don't leave me."

"We are waiting Raphael."

"Waiting for what?"

Damn this darkness. His inability to see anything was infuriating. He stumbled forward, grasping at thin air in a desperate attempt to clutch on to his father.

"Raph?"

What the hell? "Leo?" He'd recognize his brother's voice anywhere.

"Leo, how did you find me?"

"I didn't Raph. I can't find you."

What did that mean? Why couldn't Leo see him? Was he trapped in the same empty void?

"Leo, I'm right here bro."

"Raph?"

The voice of his eldest brother faded just as his fathers had done moments before.

"LEO! I need to tell you something. I…I'm…"

"Raph?"

"Donny! Thank fuck you're here. I need your help bro, I can't see a thing."

"Raph? Where are you?"

What the hell was going on around here? Why couldn't his brothers see him? What were they even doing here?

"Yo Raphie!"

Mikey. Overwhelming affection rose within the hot-tempered turtle. Mikey, his youngest brother, always ready and waiting to make him feel better.

"Raph, why did you go? Was it something I did?"

What? That didn't sound like his happy go lucky bro.

"No Mikey, I'm right here. I wouldn't leave you."

"But you did."

Raph felt himself flinch at the accusing tone in his brother's voice.

"No Mikey…no, I didn't."

But he had. He had left him; he'd left all of them.

"It aint my fault!"

Wasn't it? If he hadn't baited Leo, they would never have argued. Leo wouldn't have lost his temper and told Raph to leave. This was all his fault. He'd convinced himself they would be glad to see the back of him, yet here they were, calling out to him. They were trying to find him.

Renewed hope rose inside the angry turtle. Was it possible his anger hadn't ruined everything? Did they still care? Care enough to be searching for him?

"Why do you not help her Raphael?"

One sentence spoken amidst a sea of cries calling out to him. One sentence, asking him why he wouldn't help. But help who?

"Raph?"

Sounded female. Not his brothers or father then.

Raph awoke once more to find Ruby beside the bed, hands gently shaking him, looking down at him with red eyes. Had she been crying?

She pressed a cool hand to his head.

"Your fevers gone down a bit."

He tried to clear his dry throat, his hand released once more. A cool glass pressed into it.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like shit." Raph answered truthfully, gratefully gulping down the liquid. She was looking at him strangely, her thumb easing the tension between his brows. Once again, soothing him.

He glanced at her, wondering what had happened to make her cry.

"You feel strong enough to eat something?"

Did he? He wasn't sure. His stomach growled loudly, but the thought of food made him feel ill. He shook his head briefly.

"Listen. I…erm…" Damn this was hard. It was one simple word. Why couldn't he say it? Great, now she was looking expectantly at him. He cleared his throat again.

"Erm…I guess…you know…thanks for…you know…being here."

Was that guilt he saw flicker in her eyes?

"You don't have to thank me."

"Yeah, I do. I mean…you could have just left me right. Just let that guy do all this stuff to me an instead you…you know, helped me."

Again something flickered in her eyes.

"Raph, don't. Don't thank me. Believe me, I don't deserve it."

That was weird. Here he was trying to show some gratitude and she didn't want it.

"Yeah well…just so you know. Anyways…erm…you ok?"

"I'm fine!" Ruby snapped, turning her gaze away from his.

Seeing the puzzled expression on his face she sighed, raising her other hand to massage her neck.

"Sorry, it's just…never mind."

He thought she attempted a smile, but again couldn't be sure. She resumed applying gentle pressure to his forehead in circles. Easing away the tension inside him. He closed his eyes briefly, relishing the soothing motion, before opening them again to glance at her.

"So what are you doing here with him anyway?"

Her hand froze mid circle. Her shoulders lifting slightly, chin jutting out proudly.

"It's not important."

Raph attempted a shrug. Fair enough, if she didn't want to tell him. Still he kept his eyes on her, felt a tremor run through her. Absentmindedly she started rubbing again.

"So where would you go?"

What? His confusion must have registered on his face, so she clarified.

"If I let you go. Where would you go?"

Raph's eyes narrowed slightly. For a moment he didn't say anything and she didn't push him.

"Aint important." He said finally.

Ruby laughed softly. "Fair enough. We both have secrets."

A faint grin appeared on Raph's face for a moment. His eyes drifting closed as he relaxed against the gentle pressure. His body still drained of all energy, but for the first time in over two days, he felt oddly safe.