Kouga stood in the shadows, he would have left by now, but something unexpected had struck his mind. His eyes were fixed on the last thing that he imagined he would have been staring at that night. His sight traced over a series of silvery locks, their color had been changed into something new and fascinating to him against the flare of the campfire. Inuyasha was asleep, more soundly than usual and the expression on his face was almost what he could call peaceful, but not completely. Kouga had never seen the hanyou's face when it wasn't riddled with anger or concentration. Inuyasha always seemed to have a reason for tension on his face, but in his slumber, he looked strangely different. It was like this one small change had distorted the way he had always seen him. It was very sudden and he had a hard time accepting that there was a reason for his strange new urge to touch the sleeping creature with his hands. Very deeply, he felt a desire to find out if all of these fascinating features that the hanyou carried were paired with fascinating feelings. The hair looked like it would be soft and pleasant if he could get it between his fingers, the skin seemed like it would be a refreshing, new kind of smooth.

Whatever it was, this odd new urge had Kouga's mind spinning. He wanted to touch Inuyasha, feel him under his fingertips, find out what kind of warmth his body gave off. Before he even realized how close he had gotten to the slumbering figure, his hand had stretched out and come only inches away from the skin. He actually felt the air from Inuyasha's nose brush the tip of his thumb. A small, strangely pleasant tingle ran up his arm and stopped his movement. He had barely even realized what he had been doing. His hand hovered for a moment and then he stepped away. It wouldn't be long before Ginta and Hakkaku would be ready to leave, they had only crossed paths in their mutual search for more jewel shards. Only Kagome and the monk were the ones who were actually awake when they arrived at their camp, he had noticed the rare sight of Inuyasha sleeping in something other than a tree as he was passing by and only took a moment to glance at him. How could he have resisted? Somehow, that glance had turned into a stare, he wasn't sure why.

He jerked his hand back away from Inuyasha and left as quickly and silently as he was able to. As soon as he was completely out of the fire's illumination, he tried to gather the breath that he noticed he had been holding.

"What the hell was that?" he muttered to himself as he scratched his head.

Just as quickly as he had darted away, someone came walking into the clearing. "Hey, Kouga, you ready to go yet?" Ginta asked from the side.

Kouga hadn't heard him, it actually took a few moments for the wolf to even notice Ginta's presence.

"Are you… ready?" Ginta asked a second time, drawing closer to his alpha.

Kouga tried to relax his body again by letting some more air out.

Ginta raised an eyebrow. "Is something wrong?"

Kouga stared into space, he was still trying to get rid of the strange tension he was feeling. "I think…" he flexed his fingers. "I think I just went insane for a minute."

"Kouga…" Ginta moved closer to him. "… I think that's the weirdest thing I've heard you say in years."

"Tell me about it." Kouga chuckled.

Ginta seemed to take a sudden interest in the stars up above their heads. "What kind of insane?" the other wolf asked as he began to sway.

Kouga returned an odd look. "What do you mean?"

"You know, like, violent insane? Crazy insane? Love insane?"

"Love?" Kouga almost jumped at the word.

Ginta cracked into a grin. "The two words do go together kind of well sometimes, right?"

Kouga waved the idea away. "Nah, it definitely isn't love."

"Why's that?"

Another short laugh came from Kouga. "Because it has nothing to do with Kagome." He replied.

Kouga was surprised when he saw Ginta roll his eyes at what he had said. "Well, whatever it is, we can go when you're done dealing with it." He strolled off into the trees, leaving Kouga with his ideas.

Over time, he came across an idea which pushed the thoughts of Inuyasha to the back of his mind, exactly where he wanted them. He had already said his farewell to Kagome, and as usual, it was full of his flirtatious charm. Now, though, he was thinking about seeing if she was asleep or not. He quickly made his way back to the camp, the small fire in the center was already starting to dim. He leaned himself against one of the nearby trees and waited for the girl to return. Momentarily, his eyes drifted back to Inuyasha and he noticed how the hanyou had turned around as he slept. Kouga scoffed and went back to staring into space. It wasn't long before she appeared out of the darkness, a sleepiness obvious in her eyes. He watched her unfold her blanket and prepare a place to sleep, she finally noticed him standing there when she sat down. She jumped as soon as their eyes met. Kouga made a wide smile for her and she grew calm again.

"You scared me." She whispered, trying not to wake the others.

Kouga approached her quietly. "Sorry." He lowered himself on one knee and offered her an admiring gaze. "You know, Kagome" he began as he widened his grin. "I travel all the time, see the world." As always, he tried to make a simple compliment as romantic as he could. "and after all this time, I still haven't seen anything as lovely as you." His voice reached its regular volume.

Kagome provided a small laugh. "Well… thanks." Her voice grew even quieter as she tried to encourage Kouga to do the same.

Kouga didn't seem to catch on. In his usual manner, he brought her two hands together in his own. "No, really, you are!" he continued, even louder. "I mean it."

She gave him an odd look. "Are you feeling alright, Kouga?" Kagome asked.

The wolf widened his smile even more. "Of course I am. I'm great! In fact," he forced himself toward her, to which Kagome responded by shifting backward. "the closer I get to you, the better I feel." His words were sewn more quickly than any previous flirting session. He continued, leaning in until their noses were inches apart.

Kagome was blushing in total silence, Kouga wouldn't let up, he just kept inching closer to her face.

"What are you… doing?" she squeaked. Kouga brought his lips only a tiny space from hers, it seemed like he wasn't planning on stopping, but somehow, he did.

They were stuck in that position for quite a while before Kouga finally woke himself up and let go of her hands. Much to Kagome's relief, he drew out of her personal space with a changed expression.

He brought his own hand back. "Sorry." He whispered. "I shouldn't have done that…"

Kagome tried to cool her face down, she had been moments away from trying to slap Kouga out of whatever had come over him. But judging by the apologetic look on Kouga's face, there was no need to scold him. Besides, she worried for how long the silence of their camp would last if a certain light-sleeper had been stirred awake by Kouga's careless mouth. What she feared most was exactly what happened next.

"Hey!" a brash voice struck out. "Get away from her, ya flea-bitten wolf!" Inuyasha immediately lunged up and straight toward them. Kagome barely saw what happened, but it wasn't long before the two of them were scuffling on top of each other only a few feet away. A brief struggle followed and then the two got on their feet, glaring fiercely at each other.

"I can't take my eye off you for a minute, ya horny wolf!"

Suddenly, Kouga bared his fangs toward Inuyasha, it was something Kagome had never seen before. The gesture he was making had a sharp, intimidating touch to it.

"Stupid, worthless, half-breed! What makes you think you deserve her? You can't even survive without daddy's old sword!" Kouga shouted as he clenched his fists.

Kagome's eyes widened as she listened to Kouga's words, it was a second gesture that she never would have expected from the wolf. Immediately, Inuyasha's face grew murderously dark, he positioned his feet apart and opened up his claws. The hanyou seemed ready to go for Kouga's throat, but before any further movement could be made, the beads around his neck flickered with light.

"Sit!" Kagome's voice shot out.

In a blur and a thud, Inuyasha was on the ground for the hundredth time with his shouting reduced to small groans.

Kouga lowered his fists and grinned. "You really know how to put him in his place, don't you Ka—"

"Get out of here, Kouga." Kagome commanded. Kouga just stared at her, he didn't take a step.

"Now!" she yelled as loud as she could.

Kouga jumped at the sharp volume of her words. He had never seen the level of anger on Kagome's face that he was seeing now. Her glare was more than enough to shut his mouth. Slowly, but surely, he drifted away from the camp and went pattering back into the woods. Before long, the two groups had parted once again.

_________

Kouga thought there had been fewer trees in the forest around the village. From his experience, trees seemed to be large and with plenty of distance between each other. Oddly enough, though, he had been searching every last damn trunk and branch for what was probably an hour by now. If he had said that out loud, he would have sounded whiny, but it honestly was a long time to spend looking for one person. The wolf groaned, he was close to just giving up and waiting for something to happen instead.

He gathered some more air. "Where are you, mutt?!" he hurled out once more. He had lost count of how many times he had called for Inuyasha and was quite sure he was beginning to lose his voice. The only response he got was the background chirping of songbirds. He sighed and sunk into the cradling roots of the tree. He was in need of a rest, anyway. Every small rustle of the leaves he had been hearing was always sending him on a quest to find the source. Every little noise was Inuyasha, whether it was a bush shaking or two branches scraping together. It was beginning to annoy him. Even now, he was wondering if perhaps the hanyou was trying to avoid him deliberately. He actually caught Inuyasha's scent on the air, but the same thing had happened four times before. But finally, he took the bait one more time and decided to look up at the branches. In the middle of all of the forest colors, the red of Inuyasha's kimono stood out. He saw the hanyou's foot hanging lazily from the tree branches above him. Kouga scowled, he didn't see how it was possible for Inuyasha to not have heard him.

After calling out to him once again, Inuyasha's foot stirred. Kouga heard him grumbling. "What the hell do you want, wolf?" he muttered softly.

"You know how long I've been looking for you? Were you just playing games with me?" the wolf quickly realized that his choice of words hadn't been wise. Even so, Inuyasha said nothing, all Kouga could imagine the dog was doing was trying to ignore him. "You've been out here for eight days." Kouga called up to him.

"Hmph" was all that Inuyasha responded with.

Kouga rose up and examined the trunk for whatever way the hanyou had managed to climb up in the first place. He scraped his was high enough to take hold of the lowest branch. After several switches from one branch to the next, he lifted himself up high enough to see Inuyasha in his spot between the arms of the tree. The hanyou looked like he was trying to fall asleep, which Kouga guessed was what he had been doing before he arrived.

Inuyasha grumbled some more. "Why'd you wake me up?"

Kouga looked over the hanyou's body for a moment. "Do you plan on eating any time soon?" he inquired as he pulled himself all the way onto the branch.

"Go away." Inuyasha mumbled, shutting his eyes tightly.

"Will you just answer the question?"

Inuyasha folded his arms. "What do you care? Leave me alone."

"I leave you alone and your friends definitely won't." Kouga retorted. He was well-aware that it wasn't just the hanyou's friends that were worrying. On the contrary, he wondered sometimes if he was the only person who had actually tried to speak to him.

Inuyasha said nothing, all he did was lay his head back, facing away from Kouga.

It was difficult to figure out what to say, but Kouga had no intention of leaving until something happened. "I didn't spend and hour looking for you just so you could ignore me." He said.

Inuyasha scoffed. "I'm fine. There. Now screw off."

Kouga wasn't convinced in the slightest. "If you were fine then I wouldn't be out here." Inuyasha went back to ignoring him, turning his head even farther away to emphasize his efforts. Kouga groaned. As far as he was concerned, trying to start a fight was out of the question. Still, he wasn't about to leave. "Look, can't you just—"

"I'm warning you, wolf, get the hell away from me." Inuyasha snapped, he was finally making eye contact.

"They're just worried about you. I know how much Kagome meant to you, so I'm trying to be nice, okay?" The words he uttered gave him a nervous feeling, he wasn't surprised either.

Inuyasha opened both eyes in the effort of forming a scowl. To Kouga's surprise, the hanyou actually unfolded himself and sat upright, glaring straight at him. This was exactly why he wished he hadn't mentioned Kagome, he knew the conversation was over now.

For a while, Inuyasha just glared at him, but in a swift movement, Kouga was thrown off of his branch by a harsh kick in the stomach, which was followed by the unforgiving impact against the ground. While he was laying there, reclaiming his breath, he watched the hanyou curl back into his nook in the branches and turn himself away.

Of course, Kouga wasn't a fan of being kicked out of trees, but it didn't seem to matter compared to how short their "conversation" had been. Honestly, it made him feel somewhat ashamed. He decided that trying again probably wasn't a good idea. With that thought, he brought himself to his feet and wandered away. It was moments like this that reminded Kouga how harsh the word "change" is. The last eight days that Inuyasha had been alone in the forest were all spent going over a question that was harder to answer than he had anticipated. This was the first attempt he had made at speaking with Inuyasha since the day Kagome left and the fact that it had been a first try wasn't exactly encouraging. Words seemed to be useless. It seemed that the only way for anyone to keep the peace was to allow the hanyou to remain where he was. For a few days, Kouga had chosen to see if some time alone was truly what Inuyasha needed Day after day, though, no encounters and apparently no eating, it became less probable that anything good would come of it. Kouga always knew Inuyasha as someone who preferred to be alone, but not in the way that he was choosing to be now. Like the cautious man he was, the hanyou had a small number of people he called friends. Only the people he trusted the most were the people he would share his life with, but now he had severed every connection. Kouga was quite certain that the only words that Inuyasha had said in the last week were the ones that led to him being kicked in the stomach.

Talking always ended badly, doing nothing seemed to only let matters become worse, and anything else that Kouga could think of would undoubtedly fail. He had gone over every possibility for trying to help Inuyasha that he could imagine; each of them seemed foolish or useless. He stopped to take another rest against a tree, his back still had a light ache from the fall. The last time he had been at such a loss, he had the convenience of people to offer their wisdom. As prince of the wolf tribe, the wisdom of his elders and comrades was not only a luxury but something of a requirement. The only one that could help him now was the elder of another settlement. He considered it briefly, seeing no harm in asking her. He was glad to have a destination after such a long time of having none. A few more minutes of walking and he was back in the midst of humans and the spicy mixture of scents that accompanied civilization. The hut was in a particularly quite part of the village, though. Kouga often found it strange how the noise of this village seemed to quiet down whenever he stood near this doorframe. He guessed that people made an effort to reduce their noisy lives out of respect for the old woman who lived there. The sweeter smell of a meal cooked the night before was all around the hut as he pushed the wooden veil aside and entered.

"Elder?" he called out in the stillness.

"In here." A weathered voice replied.

Kouga followed her voice to the only other room in the house. The stout, old woman was busy with a thread and needle in her fingers. She greeted him with a small glance and smiled softly. "My name is Kaede, Kouga, but ye manners are not unappreciated." She went back to stitching.

Kouga stepped into the room. "Sorry, old habits." He noticed that the cloth in Kaede's lap was too small for an adult, more likely to belong to one of the children.

"What may I do for ye, Kouga?" she brushed a loose strand of gray hair from her face. Kouga hadn't actually thought of how to begin, but Kaede was kind enough to give him something to do while he was thinking. "Sit down" she said, gesturing to the chair at the opposite end of the small, narrow room.

Kouga thanked her and lowered into his chair. He watched her repair the broken seam as he thought of how to ask his true question and still keep certain secrets safe. He began fiddling with his fingers. "Eld- I mean, Kaede…" she seemed to detect the troubled tone in his voice. "Have you ever really wanted to help someone, but haven't been able to?"

Kaede gave a nod. "I did not realized ye cared for—"

"It's not about Inuyasha." Kouga interrupted, trying to avoid saying the name out loud altogether.

Kaede casually continued with her needle. "No? Then a friend, is it?"

Kouga let two of his fingers circle each other. "Yeah… someone really important to me." He fingered at his chin, pretending to be realizing something. "Now that you mention it, it's a lot like Inuyasha." It seemed like a good way to strengthen his act.

"Yes. Poor boy." Kaede's smile faded. "We have all lost a dear friend, but he has lost much more than that." She rested the needle on the arm of her chair. "Your friend, Kouga, he has lost someone as well?"

"She." Kouga said to be more convincing.

Kaede bowed her head. "I see. And she won't accept the word of her friends?"

"I've tried everything I know." Kouga answered.

Kaede sighed roughly. She picked up her needle again and continued with the broken seam. "We try our best to protect ourselves from pain." Her thread waved in and out of the cloth again. "Humans, animals, demons, all the same. Sometimes we seek safety from that pain by escaping from what caused it in every way that we can." Kouga pictured everything that he had seen since Kagome left and everything Inuyasha had been doing. In all of the hanyou's action, he did seem to have been avoiding something, but escaping? He allowed the old woman to continue. "Your friend, in her troubles, is in such a state that the faces of her friends are upsetting to her."

Kouga was beginning to wonder if his lie had worked. "And… how am I supposed to change that?" he asked.

Kaede finished with another stitch and moved to the next. "Ye do not. Instead, ye must speak to her without a face, without a voice."

Kouga grew quiet, the advice itself didn't sound sensible. "How?"

Kaede's grin returned. "Ye are young and resourceful, Kouga, I have no doubt ye will find a way."

It was different from the kind of suggestion he would hear from an advisor in the pack, but even when there was still a gap to fill, Kouga had found the direction he was looking for. Many of the things that the old woman had said made a great deal of sense to him. He wasn't about to judge what was going on in Inuyasha's head, but the final piece of advice he had received was the closest he had come to a good idea for several days. The only thing that remained was how it would be done. It felt more like a riddle than a question. Yesterday, he would have been sleeping by the time that he came across his answer, but he had been kept awake in his thoughts. The answer was his handwriting. He knew that Inuyasha had never seen him writing, so there was no chance he would be able to guess. Even after hours of thinking, Kouga still wasn't tired. He knew that in this way, he could say just about anything to the hanyou and remain completely anonymous. It was perfect.

But the thing that kept him awake long after everyone else retired was exactly what to say. One thing had the potential to just annoy or upset Inuyasha and the other didn't seem like it would really matter. Kouga must have written and subsequently crumpled up ten pages of different things over the hours that he remained awake. The night grew deeper and deeper until he finally began to feel his eye getting sore. A few times, he shook himself awake and found that a few minutes had gone by. Even further into the night, he got to the point where he could barely keep his eyes open, but he finally managed to fill one, white sheet of paper with everything he wanted Inuyasha to hear. There was no name, there was no mention of his affections, just the reassurance that Kouga would never have the courage to say out loud. Perhaps one day, he would have been willing to say things like this to Inuyasha, but that day just wasn't there yet. For now, his handwriting would have to do.

By the time that he folded the paper up and neatly scrawled Inuyasha's name on it, the darkness of the night was beginning to turn pale. As quickly as he could, he rubbed his eyes and went running straight back into the forest. The cover of the night continued to dissipate as he searched for the tree Inuyasha had been sleeping in. If the hanyou wasn't still there, he would have to wait for another moment, which was less than preferential. He raced against the steadily rising sun to find his destination, the birds began their chirping almost as if to warn him of his low-running time. Thankfully, he came across the tree he remembered, and fortunately, he did in fact notice a still figure resting in its branches. Judging by his slow breath, Inuyasha hadn't been awakened by his noise and he made sure to keep things that way. He approached the trunk as slow and quietly as it was practical. From one branch to the next, he pulled himself just high enough to peer over at the back of Inuyasha's head. He was momentarily distracted by the way the hanyou's ears seemed to twitch as he slept. Like many before him, he had a strong urge to reach out and see what they felt like. Even now, when he worried for Inuyasha's well-being, the sight of him sleeping was still something that mesmerized him but Kouga remembered what he had came for. Very slowly, he placed the paper beside Inuyasha where he knew it would be found and as he finished his task, he crept back down and away from the tree.

Kouga figured that he had been awake for over a day by now, he only opened his eyes to check if he was on the right path back to the village. Several times, he actually swayed as he walked, he didn't realize that he would be so dysfunctional without sleep. Still, he was glad that he had delivered his message and even saw promise in what he had just tried. Now, though, all he wanted was to return to his bed and close his eyes. He wasn't sure what tomorrow was going to be like, but he hoped it would be something worth welcoming.

Inuyasha,

It's hard for me to figure out what I should say to you. We've tried so many things and all of them have failed to get your attention. I'm not writing this to scold or judge you for the way things are going, but I just want you to hear something and I want to be absolutely sure that you know it. Whether or not you're aware, each of us are thinking of you all the time and we wonder if things will ever be the same again. Kagome meant a lot to all of us, but I guess that she meant much more to you. It's been hard parting with her and it will keep going like that for a long time, too, I know. I just want you to know that I want things to be different. I could never be arrogant enough to guess what's going on in your head, I have a hundred different answers to that question and I'm not confident in any of them. I want so badly to see you living your life, maybe even with happiness. I'm sure that the others feel the same way as well. Every last one of us, especially me, wants to see things get better, but the only one who can really make the first move is you. There are people who care about you, Inuyasha, and if it's their help you need, then I only ask that you be strong enough to ask for it.