Dolphins Are Much Better Than Goldfish

by Hogwartsjaguar97

The first proper conversation that Mycroft ever really had with Lestrade was outside Sherlock's hospital room. The only time the two had ever talked was through phoned requests, that were more like orders and general inquires about Sherlock's well being. After Sherlock is sent to hospital, Mycroft and Lestrade don't get off on the best foot and now Sherlock is up to something.

4. The Mule and Stallion

The tradition of having a monthly meeting with Lestrade over dinner had first begun five years ago when Sherlock had come to Mycroft one afternoon, while Mycroft was in his Diogenes Club and reading his newspaper and he had declared that he was going to be helping out on crime scenes and he was needing his brother to pull a few strings for him so he would be allowed to do it. Mycroft who liked to have an interest in his brothers current affairs, found himself rather intrigued at his brother's request and he hardly hesitated to contact Gregory Lestrade-who was a newly promoted Detective Inspector on his first month in his new position. After several failed emails with Lestrade, that would usually go unanswered or replied with just one word, Mycroft decided to take matters in his own hands and find a way to contact him. Instead of doing the things that a normal person would do such as send Lestrade a letter or even come to Scotland Yard to arrange a meeting with the man, Mycroft did the next best thing and that was a plan to kidnap Lestrade and take him to a warehouse and discus arrangements with him in the time that they were in the warehouse and then Mycroft would drop him back to his house and everything would be forgotten about.

However this plan did not happen as Lestrade somewhat protested about being taken into a warehouse in the middle of the night when Mycroft's Royals Royce was waiting outside Scotland Yard for Lestrade's shift to be finished and he was off duty. Mycroft had waited in the car for two hours later than he had originally planned and then when Lestrade did eventually come out of the yard with a large pile of paperwork in his arms and and a cheap take away coffee, he only looked at Mycroft in the black car and simply had refused to go in and had started to walk away from him. Mycroft then had to get out of the car and start following the detective inspector, who just looked at him blankly when Mycroft said that he wanted to talk to him and in the end had only agreed to talk about Sherlock if Mycroft would buy dinner for him. And thus the tradition of dinner with Lestrade had begun.

Mycroft waited for Lestrade to finish his shift outside Scotland Yard while there was a light fall of snow that had little to no chance of lasting in the British weather that mostly consisted of rain that would last for days. It was the winter that made Mycroft wish that he had chosen somewhere nicer to settle into do his work, but then again to be the British Government you did need to be based in Britain in one way or another, or it would be rather difficult to stay on top of British problems such as bomb threats and not the price of hummus in Waitrose. The umbrella that Mycroft normally kept on his side, was actually open and it was providing little protection from the snow due to the fact that there was a bit of wind. Mycroft could have waited in the car, but it seemed a little bit rude considering all of the events that had happened between him and Lestrade. The bit of paper that he had taken from Sherlock's flat was still in his pocket and Mycroft had inspected it in the spare time that he had and the paper had been bothering him, as his brother had decided that he was needing a plan that would end up destroying his life that included a dead owl. Well this could be seen as an improvement for his brother who was normally rather unorganised when it came to one of his schemes, but regardless of anything, it was still something that Mycroft frowned upon.

"You don't need to wait out." Lestrade said as greeting as he walked out of the building with a cigarette placed in between his lips and his old lighter in his hand. "You will get your shoes damp and I am pretty sure that those a new Italian leather ones."

"You are correct," Mycroft said with a tone of surprise to his voice. "Have you taken an interest in the science of deduction?"

"No it isn't that." Lestrade lit up his cigarette and took a puff before answering. "Sherlock was telling me about your shoes for some reason. He just called me at work today and started going on about shoes and how you can tell a lot about someone by their shoes. Your brother is a strange man, brilliant but strange. "

"He was worse when he was a child." Mycroft said taking a cigarette from the box that Lestrade was offering, he lit it up with his own lighter and soon coughed after his first puff. Sherlock was right, he still smoked like a beginner, hopefully Lestrade would believe that it was the winter air that was causing him to cough and not the fact that he couldn't smoke regardless of all the times that he tried. "Trust me, I was just thankful that I was at boarding school and university for the majority of the time."

"What did Sherlock do as a child?" Lestrade asked with a smile forming on his lips. "Did he dissect your teddy?"

"Much worse, he tried to mummify a dead sheep and he kept it in my wardrobe when I was away for school as a way to protest my leaving." Mycroft replied as he threw his cigaret butt to the ground and rubbed it out with the heel of his new shoes. "I made dinner reservations and I recommend that we go into the car now in order to make them."

"Will I get more stories about your brother?" Lestrade asked as he put out his own cigarette. "I could do with a laugh after the day that I have had."

Mycroft made a noise of agreement and they walking in comfortable silence as they had made their way to the car and the drive to the restaurant-a rather expensive five star French restaurant that was one of Mycroft's personal favourites in London that had made the best Chocolate gateau even though he usually ended up regretting eating it and his diet didn't appreciate being ruined again after many failed attempts of staying on track and not falling off the rails after three weeks at the most. The restaurant has been difficult to get a reservation for and it had taken a while for Anthea to persuade the manager to make up a table for tonight.

Mycroft and Lestrade went into their sides of the car, Mycroft always going into the right side of the car, as that was his spot and no one was allowed to go in there, otherwise he was positive that things would go wrong if he sat in another seat. His usual driver, Henry, was not present tonight and in his place was Anthea who had filed in due to the fact that Henry was on his second honeymoon to Italy and Mycroft being the ever so kind man that he was , had given him a month of holiday with full pay and access to a five star hotel and company car. Anthea was a good driver however she hadn't the ability to drive without listening to the radio and she rather liked the radio stations that would play the loud music that Mycroft had no chance in understanding the lyrics as no one seemed to announce what they were saying and they used lots of 'urban words,' much to Mycroft's dismay.

The car ride to the restaurant was silent and Mycroft spent the time descretting looking at Greg who seemed to be engrossed in paperwork that he had on his lap. Knowing that he wouldn't have the desire to participate in conversation while he had a pile of paperwork in front of him, Mycroft decided to not speak-mostly as he doubted that he would have enough topics for conversation and the fact that the list from his brother was still bothering him even though he had taken it a few days ago and he had worked out all of the possible things that his brother may do to him now. There was definitely a lot worse things his brother could do instead of putting a dead bird into Lestrade's home, Mycroft personally had the vision of a bomb exploding his bathroom in his town house that would lead to him seeking refuge in a hotel or other accommodation. Mycroft shook his head and he tried to get the thoughts of a bomb out of his head, he looked out of the window and he watched the world go past through his tinted windows.

"I can't believe that we drove all this way and the place has been shut down." Lestrade grumbled as he made his way back into the car, closing the door with a loud bang.

Mycroft closed his phone with a sigh as he looked at Anthea for guidance. The restaurant that they had been planning to go to had the nerve to be closed down on the day that Mycroft had manage to get his name on the seating list after waiting for two months for a reservation, due to a case of rats in the store cupboard. Mycroft was a man who did care for the finer things in life and this also extended down to good hygiene-however at the moment he didn't care about the rats or the fact there had been cases of cross contamination in the kitchens, he was rather annoyed due to the fact that he had paid a lot of money for reservations for the restaurant two months ago and there was probably not a chance for a refund and the fact that he had made himself look like a fool in front of Lestrade especially after all what happened. The thought that maybe it was Sherlock who did this crossed Mycroft's mind for a brief moment but then it was ignored as Mycroft realised that Sherlock wouldn't do anything as simple as putting a few rats in the kitchen.

With a sigh, Mycroft entered the car and he made the effort not to slam the door unlike what Lestrade did as being honest expensive cars did not grow on trees. Lestrade was furiously typing on his phone and he looked rather annoyed and Mycroft felt slightly guilty for wasting his time. Mycroft coughed to get his attention. "I am terribly sorry Greggory about this, I may say that it has caused me some embarrassment."

"Don't worry about it. I was just looking forward to some good food after the day I have, and now this has happened." Greg said putting his phone in his pocket and rubbing his face with his hands. "Are we going to make a rain check or something?"

Mycroft didn't even need to look at his diary to know that he wouldn't be able to reschedule, as he was permanently packet to the brim with all of the tasks that he needed to do and the eventing of the twentieth over every month was reserved for his dinner meeting with Lestrade and nothing would ever change that. "I am afraid not. I have the rest of my days consumed with work and I am out of the country for some time in the recent future. We can discuss my brother and other matters in a new location perhaps?"

"I don't mind where we go as long as there is a bar." Lestrade shrugged as he put on his seatbelt and he looked at Mycroft with a glimmer of a smile on his face. "Will that be suitable for Mr Holmes."

"I am sure that I will cope Detective Inspector. " Mycroft said putting on his own seat belt. "I used to frequent bars and pubs when I was in my younger years before I had moved to London and everything became too urban for my liking."

"Urban?" Lestrade asked with look of confusion. "What do you mean by urban?"

"You know urban when you see it." Mycroft said. "Any preferences for bars?"

"There is a small one not far from where I live, might be easier to actually hear what you are saying, as your voice would be eaten up in the bigger places and the nightclubs." Lestrade leant forward to give instructions to Anthea about where to drive, which Mycroft thought was pointless due to the fact that Anthea and himself knew most of Lestrade's personal information such as the fact that he is mildly allergic to mushrooms and the fact that he had a motorbike accident that was caused when he went into a bush that sent him into hospital in 1987. Lestrade looked happier when Anthea started driving and Mycroft gave a small smile to him as he moved his gaze back into his phone.

The Mule and Stallion was a pub that Mycroft would probably have turned his nose up at, due to his dislike of pubs that grew as he started at the Diogenes club and he began to go to expensive wine bars as he moved to London. The pub was small and it was well kept despite the fact the floorboards looked like they needed to have a rather good polish and the tables were needing to be scrapped underneath as Mycroft's knee brushed a wad of chewing gum that was stuck under the pub was empty apart from a few regulars who were sitting at the bar. Lestrade had made himself busy with getting drinks and Mycroft sent a message to Anthea sending her away and that he would call her when he was needing to be picked up as he knew that his assistant would not appreciate staying in the car up until all hours in the night while her boss was in a pub, and Mycroft wasn't that cruel to make her stay, and he had made the promise of phoning her when something had happened.

Lestrade walked over to the table with two pints in his hand, one that was clearly his was already half drunk before he had even left the bar. Mycroft wasn't a man who drank beer, mostly as he disliked the taste and the smell of it, and he was more of a wine and whisky man himself but he took the pint from Lestrade with a smile on his face as he tried to not breathe in the revolting smell. Knowing that the weather was probably a pointless conversation starter, Mycroft tried the simplest conversation starter. "How was your day?" He asked taking a sip out of the glass, immediately pulling a face after drinking it.

"Absolute horror of a day." Lestrade sighed. "Your brother has been a right nightmare, just because he can't go to the crime scene for health and safety reasons, he has been making John go there himself and John has been carting around a laptop with your brother on a video call all day. I think he is even worse than he is normally."

"I can imagine, this is why I prefer to make my contact with my brother through a phone call or in person if I have to." Mycroft said with his politest smile on his face. "He has been annoying me as well, he has been going on about how I lonely I am and that I need to get a life and have friends."

"I'd say that we are mates." Lestrade said as he took a sip of his pint. Mycroft wrinkled his nose in disgust as he heard the word 'mates,' it sounded incredibly urban and common for a term for companionship. "So we are not mates then?" Lestrade asked, Mycroft noticed a slight look of disappointment on his face.

"We are people who talk about my brother once a month and we regularly make enquires about my brother. I don't think that makes me your friend." Mycroft said with a look of confusion on his features, " You don't even like me that much." he added quietly under his breath as he looked at his new shoes to avoid Lestrade's gase.

"Mycroft if I didn't like you, I wouldn't have gotten into your car tonight and I certainly wouldn't be having your pint with you." Lestrade said with a serious expression on his face. "I have known you for five years and you are an alright bloke."

Mycroft looked up from his shoes and he gave Lestrade a stern look and he was about to make a noise of protest at what Lestrade was saying, but before he could think of anything to say, Lestrade had begun to speak once more. "I would like to be friends with you Mycroft, you look as if you can use a mate, and being honest I could probably do with another one."

"That would be pleasent to have your companionship but..." Mycroft said as he tried to think of a reason of why he couldn't be friends with Lestrade, but he couldn't think of anything. Maybe having a friend other than Athena or his brother would be a good thing to have and because it was Lestrade it might make getting information about his brother easier to get. "i would like to be your friend."

Lestrade broke into a smile and he downed the rest of his pint before standing up, Mycroft gave his new friend a look of confusion about the whereabouts he was going . "I think that now we are mates, we should have another drink to celebrate." Lestrade clasped Mycroft onto the shoulder before he walked off before Mycroft could ask anymore questions about what their friendship would the requirements to it and if there was a contact needing to be signed to signify their friendship. Mycroft wondered if normal people did that, it would be something that he would need to ask Anthea or the internet at a later pulled out his phone to ask Athena about friendship, however his phone's battery had died and he had been stupid enough to forget his spare phone in his office. It wasn't the end of the world though as Mycroft could just get a taxi or he could just walk to the diogenes club tomorrow if he was stuck.

"Just got you the same as before mate." Lestrade said as he sat down onto the table with two more pints in his hands. "I think that for this meeting, we can skip talking about how your brother is doing because, he has a cast on his leg and he isn't going anywhere with John keeping an eye on him."

"What do you suggest that we talk about then?" Mycroft asked as he removed his suit jacket at he hung it at the back of the chair when he had the feeling that he would be in the pub for a while .

"Well now that we are friends, we can learn things about another-within reason of course." Lestrade said as he leant back in his chair. "There has to be more than you than your work and your brother."

"I'm afraid there isn't." Mycroft said. "I am pretty much married to my work and she can be a cruel mistress and she makes me do pointless tasks that I don't like doing, such as having dinner with the prime minister."

"You have had dinner with the prime minister?" Lestrade asked with a tone of intrigue in his voice. "How was that?"

"Bloody awful I must say." Mycroft smiled with Lestrade let out a small chuckle. "It was not an experience that I am not wanting to relive again being completely honest. I come over to help him to sign a bit of paperwork and then I find myself at the dinner table while his cook is shoving a bowl of trifle under my nose."

"That sounds dreadful." Lestrade chuckled, and it make the whisper of a smile appear at Mycroft's lips.

"It was, I had to sit through pointless chit-chat and be bombarded with stupid questions from his children. But other than that, I really don't do that much outside work."

"Well I reckon that you already know about my life outside work." Lestrade took a sip of his drink before wiping his hand at the back of his hand. "But you already know about football and I like going to the pub. I am not very exciting unfortunately."

"Neither am I, Lestrade, But I am sure that we can cope with the fact that we are very extraordinary people." Mycroft said with a smile on his face, finally allowing himself to relax a bit around Lestrade and letting himself be a bit more human, If Mycroft wasn't sure if was doing it unintentionally or if it was the alcohol allowing him to do it, Mycroft would never know and being honest he didn't want to know.

"You are amazing Mycroft, and so is your brother." Lestrade said as he cleaned off his second pint. "But you are a good man though, despite what you like to believe."

Mycroft took in a breath and he closed his eyes. There was no way that he was a good man or if he was amazing. He was no saint and he was probably not a sinner. He was in the middle of the equation as he was not easily distinguished as being a good man or a bad one. He was just Mycroft and that is all he was. Hopefully Mycroft could be enough though. Mycroft put on a smile and he decided to change the topic. "So your football, how is that going?"

"It actually has been doing okay, even though the team has been getting their arses kicked by the other team. Things haven't been going great since we are at least ten years older than the other team." Lestrade said with a sigh. "There is a match next friday and hopefully the team will get their act together and we will actually win sometime. Do you care for any sport?"

"I rather enjoy cricket and I know that you may think that it is boring, but it is something that can switch off my brain for at least ten minutes after speaking to the prime minister. I do care for rugby as well." Mycroft replied. "I am a fan of Bath."

"I have always been more of a Wasps fan myself." Lestrade said. "There is a match next Saturday with Bath and Wasps, I was going to watch it home or at the pub, would you like to join me? Normally I like to watch it with John but John has his hands full with Sherlock."

"I am sure that I can try and find some time in my time table for it." Mycroft said with a smile on his face as he took a sip of his pint, finally used to the taste of his beer, he finished off his first glass and he started onto the second. "It would be pleasant to watch it, I am making no promises though as there might be an international cris."

"There better not be one, as I want to want to see your face when Bath loses as the Waps have been doing rather well recently." Lestrade said with a smirk.

"I am positive that Bath is going to win. If I am wrong I will buy you a drink." Mycroft said with a smirk. "That reminds me that I owe you money for mine." Mycroft said as reached for his wallet.

"Don't bother Mycroft, it is what friends do for another." Lestrade said, a smirk formed on his lips. "You can just buy me all the drinks I want after Bath loses."

"Gregory I can easily reassure you that I won't be buying you a drink as I am positive my team is going to win if you like it or not." Mycroft replied. "I will bet you one it."

"Oh is that a challenge?" Lestrade asked, "I will take you up on it then." He looked at his watch and he quietly swore under his breath. "I didn't realise how late it had gotten, I really need to head off and make a start of his paperwork."

Mycroft checked his watch and Lestrade was right, as the time had flown past as he was spoken to Lestrade. He didn't want to go in particular but Lestrade and himself had other commitments outside of the safe atmosphere of the Mule and Stallion. Lestrade drained the rest of his pint and he put his coat on and slung his rucksack over his shoulder, Mycroft followed and he did the same.

"I know this is a strange request but may I borrow your phone, mine has lost all battery and I am not using a phone box as they are probably really unhygienic." Mycroft asked once they had left the pub and were standing outside, the snow had finally stopped but the air was bitterly cold and it took the breath from Mycroft.

"Not a problem mate." Lestrade said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone and a box of cigarettes. He passed the phone to Mycroft and offered him a cigarette both of which Mycroft accepted with a smile.

Mycroft quickly phoned his assistant and the car was going to be there to pick him up in ten minutes. He passed the phone back to Lestrade and he was soon given a light for his cigarette from Lestrade who already had his in teeth.

"Are you not going home yet?" Mycroft asked as he blew out a puff of smoke. "You don't have to wait around until my car comes."

"I only live down the road, I don't mind waiting. It saves you waiting alone in the dark." Lestrade said as he took out his cigarette from his mouth and he tapped it against his fingers to let some of the ash out. "Plus if you get murdered , it will allow me to give you a decent case for your brother to solve."

Mycroft let out a loud chuckle that soon resulted in Lestrade laughing as well. "I doubt that he would want to solve my murder, but he may be forced to do it with the encouragement of our parents."

Lestrade laughed again and he stopped and he had a look of curiosity on his face. "Do you think that John has made your brother better or worse?"

Mycroft threw his cigarette to the ground and he put it t out with the heel of his shoe, and thought carefully for a moment. "I believe that John Watson is a good man and I trust him with my brother's life and my brother needs him in so many ways. Through emotional needs and danger nights, and I will always be thankful for their meeting. But I also think that John has made him worse, as Sherlock has been getting into more trouble with John at his side. And John has made my brother more human, so I should be thankful for that."

"What do you mean by that?" Lestrade asked.

"John watson is one of the first people to show that someone like my brother or myself can be loved, and I never thought that would happen." Mycroft slowly replied as he noticed his car driving up to the pavement.

"Do you think that it would happen to you?" Lestrade asked.

Mycroft let out a cold laugh as he started to make his way to the car, he opened up the door before he was about to step into the car he looked at Lestrade and said ."Sherlock has a heart, I have one as well. Mine is made out of stone and I doubt that it could beat even if I wanted it to. I am myself, how can anyone love that when they are few who can accept that?" Lestrade looked puzzled and with the way the street lamp hit his face, Mycroft swore he looked a bit upset from his comment. "Goodnight Gregory." Mycroft got into the car and the car started to drive away from Lestrade the moment that Mycroft closed the door.

Mycroft looked into the window and Lestrade was becoming more and more of a blur as the car went further away from him. A sense of regret filled Mycroft as he realised that he might have said too much and it was definitely more that he wouldn't have dreamed of saying in the slightest. He closed his eyes as he let out a sigh when he dug into his jacket pocket to pull out a packet of painkillers as a headache was starting to make itself known. His fingers touched Sherlock's list that he had left in his pocket from his visit in Baker Street. He was meant to tell Lestrade about his brother's plan and operation Goldfish but he had forgotten about warning him about the potential for a deal owl to be in his flat and it wasn't something that he would say to a new friend. THe next time he saw Lestrade he would tell him about the owl.

A low buzz came out of Mycroft's spare phone, and the screen showed that he had two new messages on his phone from Lestrade.

You shouldn't say things like that about yourself. You are Mycroft and I rather like who he is.

Cheer up, and you better hope that Bath doesn't lose the game otherwise you will be paying for a lot of drinks.

"What are you smiling at?" Anthea asked with her eyes still focused on the road. "Who has been sending you messages?"

"A friend." Mycroft said with a smile on his face. "Anthea make sure that next Saturday is going to be cleared off as I have an important meeting that I have to attend and a bet to settle."