The shimmering sunset seemed especially beautiful to Old Gregg that night. Maybe it was the fact that the clouds had turned a stunning vomit green due to the toxic waste that was dumped in the lake. Maybe it was enhanced by the smell of the fishy incense that Old Gregg was burning. But most likely the sunset's beauty seemed so multiplied to Old Gregg because he knew that he was sitting only inches away from his crush, Jesus Christ.
They were sitting cross legged, side by side at the mouth of Old Gregg's cave. Neither one spoke, but nothing felt weird between them. On the contrary, the silence strengthened their bond rather than broke it. Their friendship had reached the level where conversation wasn't needed to understand each other. They were comfortable and happy enough to simply sit together, watching the vomit green sunset, sipping on baileys, listening to the death sounds of animals drowning in the lake's toxic ooze.
Old Gregg never wanted this night to end. He also really wanted to suck Jesus's dick. But unfortunately, neither one of those things was going to happen. That's just how the world worked. He was happy to have Jesus as a friend, he was happy to have any friend really, but Old Gregg knew that there would always be a part of him that would want a little more out of Jesus. He wanted Jesus as his boyfriend.
Old Gregg let out a long, shaky sigh. Jesus turned towards him.
"Are you alright?" He asked.
"Of course." Old Gregg returned. "Why wouldn't I be?" Gregg mentally gave himself a slap for letting his displeasure show, even if it was only through an accidental sigh.
Jesus gave him a knowing look. "I know what is bothering you."
Old Gregg's heart sank. Jesus knew about his secret crush! This was so embarrassing. And to make it worse, Gregg was pretty sure that Jesus was totally straight. Oh great. Here came the rejection.
"Don't worry about it Jesus. I'm just being stupid." These words seemed to bother Jesus, because he grabbed both of Gregg's shoulders and made Gregg look directly at him.
"You aren't stupid and you never will be. You are one of the smartest people I know." He said. "And what you're thinking about isn't actually that crazy. I've been thinking the same exact thing!"
Old Gregg gulped. "You- you have?" He asked, his voice full of surprise.
"Of course! You're a really cool dude."
"Reh-really?" Old Gregg was so happy that he could burst.
"Yeah really. I've been upset that we don't have best friend bracelets yet too!"
"Friendship bracelets?" Gregg's man-fishy little heart shrunk. "Umm, 's what I was thinking too."
"Awesome! Let's make some right now." Jesus said. Old Gregg smiled at him.
"Yeah. Let's do that." He said. Old Gregg felt like a fool for getting his hopes up, but his smile was genuine. He had just been bumped up to 'best friend' status. And that felt pretty damn good.
"Yay!" Jesus squealed. "This is going to be so fun!" He stood up from their spot on the cave ground. Old Gregg did not fail to notice how Jesus's white gown slid up as he stood, revealing some smooth upper thigh. Jesus was so handsome.
Wow. Gregg thought to himself, This 'just friends' thing is going to be harder than I thought.