Disclaimer: I do not own BTVS or ATS! Things would have ended differently if that was the case. It seems that this fic is longer than I anticipated. Sorry that this part took so long to post but we are nearly there.

Chapter 4

Buffy was feeling a lot more positive the following morning. She had spent the night at Xander's place and just as the morning sun was coming into view, Buffy arrived back at her home. She opened the door and was surprised to hear the sound of somebody rooting around. She took up a fighting stance and headed into the kitchen where she could hear a disturbance.

"Thank god for slayer stealth" she muttered. Buffy pulled open the door and came face to face with her shocked sister. Dawn screamed which was a major feat in itself considering she had a mouthful of pancake. When the sisters recovered from the shock, they burst into laughter.

"Trust you to make it sound like a herd of elephants in my kitchen!"

"Your kitchen? Ha! Have you ever made a proper meal in your life?"

"I can cook...sometimes. Beans and toast are my speciality and I always provide a great take out."

Dawn held her hands up in surrender. Suddenly Buffy remembered that she had sent Dawn away with Spike the previous night.

"Where's Spike?" Buffy asked hysterically suddenly fearing the vampire had taken off.

"He asked me to give you this" Dawn said reaching into her handbag and pulling out a letter confirming her fears.

Buffy was incensed.

"I knew it, that bastard"

"Buffy relax. He is back at his motel. He is not going anywhere. He will be here tonight at sunset as he promised. It is just that we got talking and I suggested that he write you. Well you two are never good at expressing what you feel to each other so maybe writing might help."

"I know we always end up fighting." Buffy sighed and grabbed the letter from Dawn. She did not make to open it though. Instead she just fingered the writing on the envelope. Dawn put her hand on her arm and patted it. Buffy looked up at her now taller baby sister.

"Will he really come, Dawnie? It is just that this feels so unreal."

"Read the letter, Buffy" Dawn smiled reassuringly, "It should set your mind at ease. I rang in to Slayer Central for you and told them you were not feeling well today and that you won't be in. Now I am heading back to Spike to right where I left him handcuffed to the bed."

Buffy momentarily was agog until she regained her senses. Dawn was in gales of laughter.

"Dawn!" she exclaimed.

"Well he is a hottie" the younger girl said with a grin, "but unfortunately he only has eyes for you! It is just as well then that he is like the idiotic big brother I never had".

"Did you really mean that?" Buffy asked surprised.

"Absolutely but do not tell him as his head is swollen enough already."

"Everybody won't be as happy as we are to see Spike is back." Buffy said thinking especially of Giles.

"No they won't but Buffy but it is none of their business. It does not matter what Spike or I or anybody else wants. The way you live is down to you. It is your life and only you can make those decisions."

"Oh Dawnie when did you get so grownup"

"You don't remember? That's funny because I distinctly remember you kicking the First Evil's ass at the time."

"Ha ha" Buffy said rolling her eyes and swatting Dawn's arm lightly.

After her sister left Buffy picked up the letter and tried to pluck up the courage to read it. She was not sure if she wanted to read it or not but eventually curiosity won out.

"Dear Buffy,

I feel like a right ponce writing this but the Bit insisted it was a good idea.

The two us being the emotional people that we are, we always seem to end up tearing each other's hearts out when try to really talk. This is where the letter comes in. I really need to get this out without interruption. Buffy I love you. I thought about you every day. I have really missed you. That never changed. My feelings never changed but I did and I can see that you did too. For once it was not all about you. I wanted to give you a chance to really live and I guess I wanted to be my own man. I needed to be my own person. I needed to see if I could be the good man that you claimed I could be.

I have always been love's bitch and I have spent all my life following the whims of those that I loved. (I know what you thinking but I am not Captain Forehead's bitch!) I wanted to make my own way but I ended up trapped in a law firm of all things. I would not have imagined ending up fighting on the side of my grand sire but the way things worked out I ended up with obligations and responsibilities. I did what I thought was right.

I know I hurt you and I regret that. No matter what I do it seems to end up with me hurting you. It is the last thing in the world that I want to do.

Love,

Spike"

When Buffy finished the letter she was left with a number of questions that only one person could answer. She would see him soon enough but she would not wait for him to come at sunset. She would go to him.

Later that night Spike was watching Manchester United getting beaten when there was a knock on the door. It was a welcome reprise from the torture that was the football game. He came face to face with the Slayer.

"Spike, grab your stuff and you are coming with me " she commanded.

Buffy was being bossy. He loved it when she was bossy. Sexy bint. He obediently put on his duster and followed the blonde out the door.

"So where to, luv?" he asked.

"I want to test a theory" she replied with a sly grin.

"What theory would that be then?" he asked now curious.

"We are going to go patrolling. See if your reflexes are still well reflexy and see what Angel taught you?"

Buffy had a mischievous grin on her face.

"My reflexes have not gone soft!" Spike began, "And hey there is nothing that Peaches could teach me!"

The moment he turned to look at Buffy, he knew he had been had. She laughed at his indignant expression.

"Race you to the cemetery" she challenged and sped out the door of the hotel. Spike shook his head in amusement and took after his slayer.

The night flew by. It was just like old times. They still fought seamlessly, knowing instinctively where the other was and anticipating each other's movements but there were not a lot of monsters to slay and so they spent a large part of the night just talking about the parts of each other's lives that they had missed out on as well as reminiscing about Sunnydale. Buffy did not mention the letter and Spike did not know whether to be relieved or worried. They were dancing around the elephant in the room once more. Buffy for her part was still digesting the letter. There were many questions that she wanted to ask him but she was reluctant to disturb this strained peace that existed between them at the moment. She just wanted to live in the moment and for the moment. Buffy could no longer justify staying out on patrol but she did not want this night to end. They had managed to go the whole night without bickering which was probably a record for them.

"I guess I had better go home. I have to work in the morning. Walk me."

Spike duly obliged. They were both quiet during the walk but it was a comfortable silence. However Spike never did like to silent for too long and as they arrived at their destination he broke it.

"Buffy.." he began.

Buffy interrupted him.

"Don't!" she said putting her finger to his lips.

He took her hand away. He held it though instead.

"Don't what, luv?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"Don't open your big fat gob and break the spell!" she said wacking his arm with her free hand. She gently loosened her hand and they stood there smiling at each other looking like nervous teenagers.

"I think I could do with a drink. Do you want one?" Buffy asked.

"Never wanted one more" Spike replied but she had a sneaking suspicion that he was not talking about the drink.

While Buffy went to get them something to drink, Spike threw himself onto the couch. Buffy returned with two glasses of whiskey. Spike was surprised at her choice of drink considering Buffy had a reputation for being a lightweight when it came to alcohol. He gave her a quizzical look.

"What?" she asked defensively taking a little sip from her glass. As he watched her out of the corner of his eye he smiled at the face she made at the taste of the strong alcohol. After a few quiet moments Buffy spoke.

"Spike I am so glad you are back" she said shakily. Her eyes were filled with tears when he turned to look at her properly.

"Me too, luv!" he replied pulling her close to him. He really hated to see her cry.

She put her head onto his shoulder and relaxed in his embrace. Spike was in heaven. He was starting to worry that he would never get to be close to her again. Buffy felt her eyelids feeling heavy. She knew that she should probably go up to her bed and say goodnight to Spike but she was just so comfortable. That was her last thought before sleep enveloped her and it was not long before Spike joined her in slumber.

To be continued ..

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