Thanks to Faeryfreak11 again for the song suggestion! I've found that there are many meanings to this song, but the way I interpreted it works with Sam's situation.

Disclaimer: No ownership here.

Ever since Rachel's party, I hadn't gotten much sleep. After watching Mercedes' performance, at first I was pissed. Then I was sick to my stomach. I got angry again, and then sad. Finally, I felt nothing. I was tired of feeling. Because no matter what I was feeling, I still ended up being a loser in the end. And quite frankly, I was really tired of feeling like a loser.

At some point in my never ending thoughts, I don't know when, but at some point I came to a revelation. A light came on—something clicked in my brain. A lot of people always thought of me as "just a pretty face"—that I was dumb. After everyone found out about me, I was "Sam, the one with the same pretty face, just struggling to get by." I wasn't stupid. I saw the way people looked at me. I knew that everyone pitied me. I was tired of it—tired of everyone defining who I was. At some point in my thoughts, and I don't know exactly when, I decided that my situation was not going to define who I was anymore. The only problem was that I didn't know exactly who I was. And in order to find out, I needed to change things in my life. I wasn't sure how these changes were going to make my life any different, but I knew I had to start with one.

Walking up to Mercedes' door that evening had my emotions conflicted. It took a serious pep talk to remove myself from the safety of my Dad's truck. As I looked at her home, I thought about how I would get angry with people that took their homes for granted. I would get angry that people complained about stupid things like getting grounded. Oh what a sad life you have. You're grounded; you have to stay in a house, that's equipped with a TV, a full refrigerator, central air. Let me take the time out to pity you. Not.

But that was when I feeling sorry myself. That's when I didn't believe in myself. That's when I let everyone else decide who I was going to be. And now, I was beyond that. It was time to live my life with my head held high. It was finally time to see what I was worth.

I only had to knock a few times before she answered the door. My heart was beating fast, but I knew I couldn't run away this time.

"Sam," she began to say. She started to cry and wrapped her arms around me. My body tensed involuntarily. I didn't know why, but I didn't feel the same comfort with her as times before. It was the night before Mercedes had to leave for college. Tomorrow, she was going to be starting a new life, and so was I.

Looking up at me, more tears formed around her chocolate brown eyes.

"I didn't think you'd make it. Thanks for coming. I have a lot I need to say." As I stepped away from her, usually I would have missed her warmth. This time, it felt like a weight lifted off of my shoulders.

"Honestly, I didn't come to listen what you have to say. You've had your time to talk. I want—no, need to tell you some things before you leave." I wasn't trying to sound harsh if I did. She looked slightly hurt, but she still gave me a weak smile. Mercedes took my hand and began to lead my inside her home.

"No, I think we should…let's just talk outside, okay?" There was no way in hell that I could be around her parents right now. Their fake smiles and their disapproving eyes—I didn't want to ruin the progress I'd already made.

I hated that things were so awkward. I used to be able to sit in silence with Mercedes and be comfortable with not saying anything. Our fingers would intertwine and her head lay upon my shoulders—we'd be at peace. In this awkward moment, it was like we were meeting for the first time, and we couldn't find the right words.

Her neighborhood was so quiet at night. The streetlights had come on, and all of the kids had to go inside from playing. Everything was still with the exception of critters hopping around the grass. It was such a beautiful summer night. It was unfortunate because I was probably about to ruin the harmony of the day.

"Before you say anything Sam, for what it's worth, I'm extremely sorry. What I said at Rachel's? It was awful and uncalled for. I hope you have it in your heart to forgive me one day, but I'd understand if you didn't," she said breaking our silence. She was so sincere that I felt guilty. I was still going to go through with this. Bracing myself, I took a deep breath and began to let my words flow.

"I love you, Mercedes. It's not a lie. It never was a lie—It will never be a lie. I love you, and I'm not afraid to say it." When I stared into her eyes, I wished so much that we could just forget everything. That we could be together again, but nothing's that easy.

"I forgive you, I do. But Mercedes, something changed in me when you said what you said. I may forgive you, but I don't think I'm ever going to forget what you said. You were the only one that didn't think I was a loser. You once made me feel like I was worth something, and after that, I couldn't help but think that everything we had was a lie."

She started to cry even more, and I had to look up to try and prevent myself from crying. If I lost it, there was no way I was going to be able to walk away.

"Me and you, I'm never going to forget us, ever. But we have to start over on our own paths. I never really knew who I was. I always let other people create the guy who was Sam Evans. But now, I can't do that anymore. I have to find out who I am. I'm better than what people think of me." She nodded her head and wiped her tears away. Finally, I took her hands.

"I have to start my own path," I paused. "Unfortunately, I have to start that path without you, Mercedes." There had been a lightening bug that was floating around us ever since we sat down. In its own way, it was like the little guy was trying to protect us. Right about now, his glow was starting to flicker.

"Tomorrow is a new start for you. You're going to go to college. You'll study amazing things and meet great people. You're going to find a guy that's going to give you everything that you deserve."

"Sam, please-"

"And you're going to graduate. You'll start this fabulous career. You'll start a new family, and you'll be an amazing mother. Your daughter, she'll have your eyes and your attitude. Your son, he'll be talented, but shy. And your husband, as much as I hate the guy already, he'll take care of you." I was smiling thinking of all this. When I looked at her, she didn't look so amused.

"Why do you do that? Why do you talk like you can't do all of those things? Why can't that be us?" She was hysterical and a pang of guilt hit my chest.

"Mercedes, I love you. I just don't know if I'm in love with you anymore. I don't know anything anymore. But I need to figure it out, okay? Tomorrow, I'm going to start my new life too, but it has to be without you." She scoffed and scooted away from me. The lightening bug was no longer glowing anymore.

"It's not going to be easy. When you come home on breaks, it's going to be weird. But it'll get better one day. I know it will. But you have to understand me. We have to let it go."

"Why are you doing this?" She wouldn't look at me anymore. I knew she had things she wanted to say, but I wouldn't be able to listen to them.

"Because I know it's the right thing to do. Listen, I have one thing to ask of you." Mercedes turned to me. Both of our hearts were broken and I knew it was going to take a lot to mend them.

"Don't let this put a hold on the best that you can be. I meant what I said, I don't want you to waste any more tears on me, okay?"

I took one last look at Mercedes and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. We tearfully said our goodbyes. Before, I thought I'd feel empty, but I was slowly starting to piece myself back together. After I left her house, I didn't know what was in store for me. I guess it was up to me now to find out.

Don't let your situation define you. Be who you want to be. *hugs you all*

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