Summary: A seven day trip with the Glee club seems like the worst thing Santana ever agreed to and when she also has to share a tent with Rachel Berry, it seems like this is going to be the week from hell but when Rachel opens up to her, and she feels comfortable enough to do the same, they develop a friendship and slowly, something more... PezBerry.

Previously:ONE: Santana and Rachel have to share a tent which Santana hates but when she discovers that Rachel is being abused by some guys and she also shares a secret or two with Rachel, they become closer. TWO: After Santana performed a song that had to be about who you are, Rachel is disappointed in Santana because she isn't the bitch she wants everyone to think she is. They have a small argument but later that night, Santana tells Rachel that she was right and Rachel says that they are kind of friends, Santana agrees. THREE: Rachel tells Santana who is responsible for the bruises on her stomach and they give each other nicknames. Rachel writes in her diary about her feelings towards Santana. Later, she discovers Santana is scared of thunder and they end up sleeping in each other's arms. Santana admits to herself that she feels something for Rachel.

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She Saw Me

Chapter Four – Thursday: Admitting

PART ONE

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"Dammit, I can't, San. Everyone will see." Rachel told her friend while laying her head in her hands and sighing.

Santana sat next to the girl and laid her arm around her shoulder. "Just say you have your period, I'll say the same and we'll just hang out here while they go splashing in that ice cold lake, okay?"

Rachel looked up and smiled a bit. "Thanks, San."

"No problem, Rae. Come on, let's go tell Shue." Santana said.

The got out of the tent and went to Mr. Shue's. They tapped on the fabric before zipping the tent open. Mr. Shue sat there, buried in paper, looking for songs.

"Hey, girls. What's up?" He asked. Santana and Rachel got in his tent.

"Mr. Shue, I'm afraid that Santana and I won't be able to go to the lake." Rachel told Mr. Shue.

Santana continued because Rachel was a bad liar. "It's the time of the month, Mr. Shue and we both have a headache and stuff."

"Uh, I understand, girls. It's okay, you can stay here." He said.

"Thank you for understanding Mr. Shue." Rachel told their teacher before they went back to their tent.

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The rest of the Gleeks had just left for the lake and Rachel and Santana sat in their tent.

"What will we do?" Rachel asked Santana.

"Dunno… maybe read your diary." Santana laughed at the shocked face of Rachel.

"You wouldn't dare." Rachel told Santana. Santana grabbed the notebook and opened it at some random page. "No, Santana!" Rachel shrieked and tried to take it from Santana. A little note fell out of it but neither of them noticed. Santana gave the notebook back, laughing loudly.

"I wasn't going to read it, Rae." She smiled and Rachel was still too shocked. If Santana had read what she wrote… She didn't even want to finish that sentence. Quickly, she put it back under her pillow. When they had both calmed down again, Santana decided to ask the question she had wanted to ask for days. "Why isn't Finn hanging around you anymore?"

"Because we broke up, you know that." Rachel told Santana.

"Yeah, I do but normally he keeps trying to get you back when you two break up." Santana said.

"I'm so done with him and he knows that. Maybe we can be friends somewhere in the future but right now, I don't know. I think he might confuse friendship with romance and I really don't want that to happen." Rachel explained.

"I don't understand what you saw in him, he is such a douchebag." Santana told Rachel.

"I understand why you would say that but he is okay, you know. He was really sweet and affectionate…" Rachel told her friend.

"Then why didn't it work out?" Santana wanted to know.

"Because there was no… connection. I never felt… what I think I should feel, you know? Butterflies, sweaty heads, wanting to be with him all the time… I never had all of that. I think I was in love with the thought of us, not with him." Rachel told Santana who nodded in understanding.

"Same happened to me and Puck but then I realized I already was in love with someone, Brittany." Santana said without troubles, not a trace of shyness and it made Rachel happy, happy because that meant Santana was comfortable with herself but even happier that she felt like she could tell her. That took a lot of trust.

"I don't understand why you two aren't together. You guys were best friends; you were closer than best friends, that sounds like perfection, right?" Rachel told the Latina.

Santana shrugged her shoulders. "She chose Artie, it hurt me. Badly, but we just weren't meant to be. I've moved on from her now."

"Seriously?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah…" Santana replied. They looked at each other, intensely. Rachel had the most beautiful eyes, Santana thought. They made her feel warm inside. Rachel couldn't think of a more beautiful sight then Santana's dark pools of emotion. The silence in the tent was weird and Rachel wanted to snap out of it but couldn't… without thinking about it she leaned a bit closer. Santana did the same. It was as if an invisible magnet pulled them closer together. Santana's eyes fluttered close but then she heard a gasp and opened them again.

"I'm… I have to go… to, err, to… the bathroom." Rachel stammered once she realized what she was about to do and quickly, she got out of the tent. Santana just sat there, shocked.

"Fuck." She cursed. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. You totally freaked her out Lopez! Good way to ruin all your chances." She said to herself. She sighed and laid herself down on her sleeping bag. She heard paper cracking and felt something poking in her back. She frowned and sat up, irritated. She reached behind her and found the offending object. She looked at it and frowned. What was this? She opened it and gasped.

Dear Santana,

I'll probably never give this letter to you because I am too much of a coward but I really need to put my feelings into words, even if you will never read this.

I think about you. I think about you a lot and when you touch me, or just look at me, my heart begins to beat so fast that I'm scared I might have a heart attack. When you smile, it brightens my day and makes me feel so amazing inside and your voice is probably the sexiest sound ever… I can't believe I just wrote that.

Anyways, I've never felt like this. I've never wanted to be close to someone all the time. I never longed to talk to someone, see someone… Never. You are the first person that has made me feel warm and cold at the same moment.

It's confusing. I thought I knew who I was, you know? I thought I knew what I wanted but now, I'm not so sure anymore.

I ask myself questions I don't think I should be asking myself already. Like, does this mean I'm gay? Does this mean I can never be attracted to a boy again? But the most important one is; does she feel the same for me?

Do you Santana? If the answer is no then, don't read any further and I guess we'll just stay friends but… if it's yes then read further because I would love to see where this can go.

I don't want to move to fast, I'm scared. It's just how I feel. I am not ready to immediately jump into a serious relationship. I want to… date you and then see where it goes. If you move to fast, I'll probably freak out, just so you know.

So, I think that's all I have to say. You'll probably never read this but it helped me process this a little more.

I really, really like you.

Kiss,

Rachel

"What are you doing?"

The voice startled Santana.

"I just found this on my sleeping bag and I read it." Santana told Rachel, talking faster than normal. Rachel snatched the piece of paper out of the Latina's hands.

"You had no right to read that." Rachel told Santana.

"Well, it did say 'dear Santana'." Santana gave Rachel a little smile.

"That doesn't matter. I didn't want you to read this." Rachel sounded angry.

"Look, Rachel, I'm really sorry I read it but I really didn't know I couldn't." Santana told Rachel with pleading eyes. After a few seconds of silence, Santana swallowed. "Do you mean it? What you wrote? Do you… have feelings for me?" She asked Rachel who sighed and sat down on her sleeping bag, she played with the edges of the paper, shyly. "Is it true, Rae?" Santana asked again.

"Yes, it is…" Rachel said softly. Santana grinned but Rachel was too focused on the paper between her fingers to notice.

"Rae? Look at me, please." She told her. Slowly, Rachel looked up. She looked scared and so small. Well, smaller than normal and Santana smiled a soft smile.

"Don't laugh at me." Rachel said, looking at the hands in her lap again. Santana sighed and moved to sit next to Rachel.

"Rach, I'm not laughing at you. I'm just happy." Santana admitted.

Rachel looked up and locked eyes with Santana. "Why?" She was confused.

Santana chuckled and reached out to put a stray of brown hair behind Rachel's ear. Then, with a lot of affection she said: "You are just too cute… I feel the same, Rachel."

The smile Rachel produced was so big, Santana thought it would split her face in two but then again, her own was just as big.

"Really?" Rachel asked, still a bit unsure.

"Yes, really." Santana answered. Rachel grinned, just as Santana did before she gave Santana a tight hug that the girl happily returned. They stayed like that for a few minutes, not really caring how long it was, they were happy to be in each other's arms.

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Author Notes: This was the first part of Thursday. Yes, this will be in two pieces because otherwise it will be too long and I wouldn't be able to update today. Thanks to everyone who reads, reviews and adds the story. You guys (and girls) are awesome. I want to say a special thanks to gleek30 for giving me the idea for this chapter. Please, read and review. Love, Silke

PS: Yes, I wrote the previous chapter after 'Hold on to 16' so I used the 'We are kind of friends, huh?' that Rachel said to Quinn. I thought it fitted perfectly, so I used it.

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