AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the shit my brain spews out at 3 in the morning. -_-

Prompt #125- Chemistry

Though science had always been one of her greatest interests, it wasn't necessarily one of her strong suites. Aside from biology, that is. She could tell you the anatomy of a Titan inside and out, and her personal studies of live subjects had given her great insight into the behaviors and habits of Titans through various experiments. Ask her about the velocity of a horse running 20mph up a hill, however…. She'd stare at you with an expression as blank and clueless as her precious pet Bean.

One thing she liked to dabble in, however, was chemistry. And a certain Lance Corporal was her favorite guinea pig.

"Leeeeevviiiiiii~!" Waltzing into said corporal's office one fine sunny day, Hanji's eyes sparkled in delight at her newest creation. Levi, however, did not seem amused. His pen snapped in half in his hand, and he stared murderously at the ink blotches that now stained the document he'd been signing as well as his hand. Hanji didn't seem to notice, bounding over to his desk and grabbing him up, almost literally, out of his chair. "Come with me, Levi! I've got something I want you to try!"

He pushed her away, reaching into his desk drawer for a handkerchief to wipe his hands with. "I'm not drinking another one of your shitty potions… the last one nearly killed me, remember?"

"But Leeeeevviiiiiii…" Hanji whined, drawing his name out long enough to get him to hate it.

"What?"

"I know this one will work! I tried it on four separate mouse subjects, and only two of them died from it!"

He didn't seem convinced. Once his hands were cleaned, he threw the handkerchief in her face, discarded the ruined paper and pen in the wastebasket, retrieved a new pen, and resumed his seated position, trying to ignore her to the best of his abilities.

Unfortunately, he still hadn't mastered the ability of ignoring one Hanji Zoe.

"Pleeeeeeease? Please, please, pleeeeeease?"

"Why don't you go ask Erwin to be your test subject for once?"

Hanji shrugged. "He seemed really busy and I didn't want to bother him."

Levi almost stood up and punched her in the face. "And it looks like I'm not busy…?"

"Come on, I know you hate paperwork almost as much as you hate dirt. Wouldn't it be good to get away from it for an hour?"

He hated to admit it, but it did sound tempting.

"Besides…" Hanji stood up straighter, a mischievous grin splitting her face. "I know you for sure will be really interested in this potion…"

"Why's that?" Levi asked, trying not to sound too annoyed.

"Because, the two survivors of the mouse subjects are now twice their size."

Levi's hand froze, hovering an inch above another paper he'd pulled out of a stack at the corner of his desk.

"See? I knew you'd be interested~"

As it turns out, Hanji's specialty was NOT in chemistry, and the Survey Corps mourned the loss of their beloved Lance-Corporal, listed as another casualty of Hanji's experiments, and buried beside the millions of mice who had also lost their lives in this line of duty.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Dear LORD, wtf did I just write?! XD