A/N: Chapter 4! In this chapter, Gwen will confront Lancelot about the state of their marriage and she will try and found out whether he still loves her. I just want to thank everyone who's reviewed and are following the story. I really do appreciate it.
It was the next morning and although, I knew that I wanted to fight for my marriage I also knew that I needed to know whether Lancelot still loved me. Whilst I hoped he still did the thought that perhaps he had fallen out of love with me was heart-breaking. If he didn't still love me, it would mean I was trying to fight a losing battle.
The more I thought about it the more agitated I was getting. As I heard Lance coming down the stairs, I was determined to get him to talk to me. Even if he didn't want to talk to me, I would say what I needed to say.
Lancelot soon reached the kitchen and based on the look on face when he saw me, he must have not expected me to be up this early, as he looked shocked.
"Gwen." He greeted me, nervously whilst going to the toaster.
He was acknowledging me! That was a good start as it gave me hope for me talking to him.
"Lancelot, I need to talk to you." I told him, apprehensively.
Although, a long time ago I would have talked to him about anything and would never have felt scared, I instantly felt sick as I started talking to him.
At my words, Lancelot didn't even turn around to reply but instead carried on stuffing the toast in the toaster.
His actions were flippant and to be honest, they were annoying the hell out of me.
Lancelot, however, didn't seem to notice that I wanted to talk about something serious, as he then muttered: "We're talking now, aren't we?"
I couldn't help but let out a grunt of frustration.
Where was the man I fell in love with? The man who would have listened to anything I had to say? Who would listen to it even if it was totally pointless?
Lancelot finally noticed my frustration, as he turned around to look at me.
"What do you want to talk about, then?" He asked me, tiredly.
My sickness seemed to return suddenly and for a couple of seconds, I wondered if I would chicken out!
In the end, I knew that if I didn't say it I probably would keep pretending that my marriage wasn't failing and I couldn't keep doing that. It would be even more heart-breaking and not just for me, but also Megan.
"Our marriage…." I answered him, honestly.
I could tell that Lancelot wasn't prepared for that as he didn't have an immediate answer but when he answered me, I wanted to slap him!
"So, what about it…?" His tone was nonchalant which I couldn't help but try and block out.
Here I was trying to save my marriage and he couldn't even be bothered to care.
"Our marriage is being destroyed….!" I told him, passionately. All of the pent up emotion finally exploding from me, I knew it was only a matter of time before it would.
"We barely speak and when we do we end up arguing over the smallest of things, we can't even be in the same room without making it uncomfortable for the other. Heck, we're even avoiding each other. I can't pretend we're fine anymore." As I ended my rant, my eyes were filling with tears.
I could tell Lancelot had heard everything I said, and that he had noticed. He looked uncomfortable at the sight of me filling up.
The need for him to tell me if he still loved me was so overwhelming that I nearly blurted out the question.
Instead, I composed myself first before waiting to ask it. I knew that if he said "no" it wouldn't help either of us if I was crying my eyes out.
"Do you still love me?" I whispered softly to him.
Lancelot at my question let out a scoff which was laced with disbelief, and something else which I couldn't identify.
His reaction baffled me as his behaviour had hardly shown his love for me. If anything, it had made it seem if it didn't.
"Of course, I do. I always have loved you and I always will." He answered me, finally.
At last, Lancelot conveyed some emotion as I could see that he really meant what he said. His voice had cracked in the middle of the declaration.
His words gave me hope for our marriage and I knew that if we still loved each other, we could at least try and save our marriage.
"I love you, too." I told him, earnestly.
It was nice for us to both say what we felt for each other. It had been such a long time since we had. Perhaps that was one of the problems in our marriage….
Lancelot smiled at me, and I knew that he was glad, too.
"We still need to sort out our marriage, though, don't we?" Lancelot asked me, thinking.
I nodded, wondering what he was suggesting.
After a moment, he asked me: "How about we go to the marriage counsellor you told me about?"
I had never suggested it, but rather I had found out about one near us and I had commented on it.
After a moment thinking, I wondered whether this would help us. I really hoped it would.
Whether it would or not, at least we were trying to salvage what was left of our marriage and that was the main thing.
A/N: Here it is. I really wanted to show Gwen trying her best and Lancelot not really helping. In the next chapter, Gwen and her friends will be celebrating her birthday and she will bump into Arthur whilst she is!
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