Welcome back to more Alternate Pokeverse: Wind Waker! Once again, thanks to our reviewer and everyone else who has read and enjoyed our story.

Nyx: Wow, you make it sound as if we're really popular.

Eh, we're popular enough. So in this chapter, if anything is off or we missed anything, it's because we haven't played this part in a while.

Winged, is that you?

Oh *beep*.

Winged, are you writing a humor story? Oh Winged, I'm so proud of you! You do have a sense of humor!

Ether, I have Nyx helping me.

Oh, I see. Still, good for you! I think I'll stick around for a while. I've got some pretty good ideas!

Nyx: Well, I should probably get this chapter started. Winged Ether does not own Pokémon, Legend of Zelda, or any combination of the two. Roll the clip!

Chapter 4: Sailing and Dragon Roost

"Link? Link, wake up. C'mon already, wake up for Farore's sake! WAKE UP!" A loud voice jolted Link out of unconsciousness and back into the real world, not that he was very happy about that.

"Ow, my freaking head. Feels like I was tossed into the ocean by a giant bird." He groaned.

"You were."

"Oh yeah." Link finally looked up at his savior, who happened to be a red boat with a Dragonair head at the front. It was also talking, so needless to say, Link was surprised. "WAH!"

The boat just laughed as Link fell backwards from shock. "Did I startle you? I suppose that is only natural. After all, I am the only talking boat on the entire Great Sea."

Link recovered and sat upright again. "Oh, you're a talking boat? Oh yeah, I guess you are, I never noticed!"

"Then why did you scream?"

"It's your colors. They just don't look good on you." Link said like it was obvious.

"…Are you gay?" The boat finally asked.

"No! I'm just feminine!" Link cried indignantly.

"That's practically the same thing! But whatever, we need to get back on topic. My name is King of Red Lions."

"King of Red Lions? I don't like that name. Can I call you Thomas?" Link asked.

"Thomas is a train, you idiot!" King yelled.

"Well what are the chances I'll ever end up riding a train?"

"Well… never mind that! Can I continue?"

"Sure, go ahead." Link said.

"Thank you. Anyway, I have been watching you since you went to the Forsaken Fortress to rescue your sister."

"STALKER!"

"LINK!"

"Sorry."

"Anyway, I understand your desire to protect your sister could give you the courage to stand up to any-"

"Actually, I could care less about Aryll. I just want my rupees."

"Link if you continue to interrupt me…"

"Alright, fine! Keep going!" Link yelled.

"I just want to get this over with now, so I'll skip to the important parts. You saw the Pokémon commanding that bird right?"

"You mean the Darkrai?" Link asked. The King nodded.

"Yes, him. His name is… Ganon." The boat said ominously.

"Dorf."

"W-wait, what?"

"Dorf. His name is Ganondorf."

"Well for simplicity's sake, we're calling him Ganon! Anyway, he attempted to cover the land in darkness with the power of the gods, but was sealed away. He escaped somehow, so now the world is in danger and you have to stop him." King continued.

"Why me?"

"Because you're the hero and I said so!"

"Fine." Link said. "Are we going to go now?"

"Um, no. As much as I hate to admit it, I am a sailboat that does not possess a sail, and without one I cannot sail the seas." King said, turning away from him.

"Wow, you're pathetic." Link laughed, but stopped when the boat turned and glared at him. "Alright, I'll go get you a sail, one of the idiots on this island should have one." Link hopped out and ran off, waving at King of Red Lions. "Bye, Thomas!"

"It's King of Red Lions!" He yelled, but Link was already too far away.

Link walked through Windfall Island, looking for someone who looked reasonably intelligent, which to him was no one. A strangely familiar voice echoed around him suddenly.

"Wow, you're on Windfall? First you get tossed out by that bird and now this? You're just the bearer of bad luck, aren't you?" Link pulled out the Pirate's Charm, which was glowing.

"What the… Tetra? What are you doing?" Link asked, surprised that she was still keeping contact with him.

"I'm checking up on you, what does it look like?" Tetra asked. "I already heard everything, and I figured that if you have to go into any dungeons, a boat isn't going to be a very good companion, so I'm here to help!"

"Wow, Tetra, that's surprising nice of you." Link said.

"Don't get used to it. You're just a special case. Anyway, as for your sail, I think there's a Sealeo on this island selling one. Why don't you go talk to him?"

"Is he intelligent?"

"No, of course not. Why would you think that?"

"Dammit. But I'll go see him." Link said, while Tetra noticed something from her view from the stone.

"Um, Link? You might want to run now." She advised.

"Why?"

"Well, there's a Lopunny pedophile coming towards you…"

"What?" Link turned around saw the Lopunny two feet away from him. He freaked out and ran off, not bothering to listen to the Pokémon, who only wanted to talk to him about his missing daughter.

After a minute of senseless running, Link finally ended up in front of the Sealeo Tetra mentioned. "Hey buddy, do you have a sail you can sell me?"

The Sealeo nodded and put it on the counter. "Yep, it's the only thing I have left from my-"

"Oh goddesses, he's telling us about his background! Do something Link!" Tetra panicked.

"Right!" Link said, jumping up on the counter, beating the Sealeo into unconsciousness with his shield, and stealing the sail. He ignored the odd looks the other islanders gave him and went into the fancy-looking house next to the shop.

As soon as he entered, he saw a bunch of expensive vases on both sides of the house. "Vases!" Link shouted like a kid in a candy store, jumping up to the vases and breaking each and every one of them. As he tried to leave, the Donphan on the second floor that he hadn't noticed before started yelling at him.

"YOU LITTLE BUIZEL! Did you think you could just come in here and break my pots without paying the consequences? I demand COMPENSATION!"

"NEVER!" Link shouted and ran out of the house. When he was outside, Tetra noticed something.

"Hey Link. Your wallet looks smaller."

"What?" Link pulled out the wallet and noticed he was missing eighty rupees. "NO! My money that I saved from stealing that loser's sail!"

"You're not going to stand for this, are you Link?" Tetra asked. "Go up there and teach that thief a lesson!"

"Right!" Link ran up to the second floor's back door and ran through it, where he walked up to the Donphan who started talking to him like he had not just seen the Riolu breaking his pots.

"Oh hello. Will you be so kind as to rescue my daught-"

"NEVER!" Link shouted, stabbing the Donphan in the chest with his sword and then running out laughing maniacally. He decided to go back to the King of Red Lions.

"Hi Thomas! I got the sail, so we're ready to leave this island of retards and losers!" Link cheered.

"What is with you thinking that everyone is an idiot or loser compared to you?" King growled.

"I have a superiority complex!" Link yelled.

"Hey, me too!" Tetra called.

"What the-? Who is that?" King asked.

"This is my friend, Tetra. Tetra, this is Thomas." Link said, holding the charm up to the talking boat.

"Sup." Tetra greeted.

"Well, I suppose one more crazy on this trip won't hurt. At least you're not here physically. Let's just go."

Link hopped in and set up the sail. "Where to?"

"You have to go east, to Dragon Roost Island. Use the sail since the wind's conveniently blowing in that direction right now."

"Okay!" Link said turning the boat and sitting down. He eventually noticed that they hadn't gone anywhere. "Hey, why aren't we moving?"

"Because you have me facing west! I told you to go east!"

"You mean this way?" Link asked, turning the boat again.

"That's north!"

"I have a bad sense of direction! Sue me!"

"Oh I intend to. Just turn me in the direction the wind's blowing!" King yelled.

After a few more tries, Link got it right and they ended up on Dragon Roost Island. "Alright Link, this is Dragon Roost Island. It is home to the Ritos, a race of bird Pokémon. And up on the top of that volcano is the Sky Spirit, Valoo."

Link looked up and saw a grumpy looking Charizard on the volcano. "Is it me, or does he look pretty mad about something?"

"Oh he's always like that. Anyway Link, take this." The King threw him a white baton. "It's called the Wind Waker, and even though it's of no use to you now, it will be very important later on, so don't lose it!"

"Okay then, bye." Link walked off and took out Tetra's stone. "Where to now?"

"You're asking me? I say go the Rito's home. You'll probably find what you need there." Tetra said.

"What do I need anyway? Thomas never told me."

"Who knows? Just go talk to the bird Pokémon."

Along the way, Link met up with the Staraptor postman again. "Hey, postman dude! How's it going?"

"I have a name you know! It's Quill!" The Staraptor yelled.

"Okay, I need to get to the Rito city or whatever it's called."

"Then just follow the bridge, stupid. The chieftain needs help also, so go talk to him. By the way, here's a random bag." Quill handed him the delivery bag.

"Geez, I hope I hope most of my rewards and upgrades won't end up being purses." Link ran inside and over to a Swellow. "Are you the chieftain?"

"Indeed I am. I need your help. My son is depressed but I can't do anything about it because Valoo's angrier than usual and is messing up the wind around here. We also can't get the scales from him that allow young Ritos to fly, so my son's probably upset about that as well. So the most I can do is write him an encouraging letter, which I gave to Medli. So go talk to her and get the letter and give it to my son, okay?" The Chieftain asked.

"Wait, what?" Link asked, not catching any of that.

"Okay, bye!" The Swellow flew off.

"What did he want?" Link asked Tetra.

"He wants you to go talk to this Medli girl and get a letter to his son from her."

"Oh, I see. That shouldn't be too hard. I just hope she's not an idiot. I hate socializing with idiots."

"You and me both. Makes me wonder why I haven't slaughtered my crew yet."

Link ran upstairs and checked the rooms until he found a young Starly. "You must be Medli."

"That'srightandyoumustbeLink!" Medli said quickly with no breaks between words.

"Why are you talking like that? I mean I can understand you perfectly but it's not healthy to talk without breathing!" Link said.

"I'monasugarhigh! Apermanentsugarhigh!" Medli cheered psychotically. "AreyouhereforPrinceKomali'sletter?"

"Um, if Prince Komali is the Chieftain's son, then yes." Medli happily handed Link the letter. "Where is Komali anyway?"

"Downstairsdownthehallway."

"What? Then why didn't he just give him the letter himself?" Link yelled.

"BecausetheChieftainisalazy***hole. Comemeetmeatthecavernlater,okay?"

"Okay, bye Medli!" Link waved as he walked out.

"Bye,andbesuretolookwhereyou'regoingandnotfalloffthe-" Link's screaming as he fell off the edge interrupted her. "Oh,toolate. Ohwell. Timetoparty!" She screamed, pulling two maracas out of nowhere and shaking them like crazy.

When Link recovered, he went down the hallway and entered Komali's room, where the Taillow sat with a large glowing orb in his wings.

"Ooh, pretty orb. Can I have it?" Link asked, but Komali refused.

"No way! It's my orb!"

"Fine, here's your letter." Link handed Komali the letter.

"Be brave? That's seriously all he wrote? Man, my father is a retarded, lazy ***hole!"

"Funny, Medli said the same thing about him." Link mentioned.

"Really? Then I suppose she's enlisting your help in going to find out what's wrong with Valoo, then?"

"Probably!"

"Well okay then. I'll give you my pearl if you can find out what's wrong and stop it."

"You'll give me the shiny orb? You've got yourself a deal!" Link ran out and found Medli at the entrance to Dragon Roost Cavern.

"Hooray,youshowed! Iwasworriedthatyou'djustrunofflikeeveryoneelse. Okay,here'swhatyouhavetodo. Pickmeup,andwhenthewind',thenthrowmeandI'llflyoverthere!"

"That plan sounds heavily flawed, but whatever." Link picked Medli up and threw her when the wind was facing the bridge. Unfortunately, she just crashed into the wall instead.

"Woo,Ifeelgreat! Isaidthrowmefromthatrock!" Medli laughed dizzily.

"You never said that."

"Really? Musthaveslippedmymind." Link picked up Medli again and threw her from the rock, this time getting it right so that she flew over to the other side.

Link ran down and over to her. "You know, you're a Starly whose obviously capable of flying. Why couldn't you fly up there yourself?"

"I'mnotthatgoodaflier,youjerk. Takethis!" Medli threw her bottle at Link, who caught it. "Curses,Imissedhishead!" She took off into the cavern.

"Okay then, how do I get across, Tetra?"

"Hold on, I'm looking at the strategy guide." Tetra said. "Here we are, it says to fill the bottle with water and pour it on the dead bomb flowers up there, then throw the bomb onto the boulder."

Link did all that, and the spring filled with water. "Now just swim across and you're good." Tetra finished.

Link swam across and threw bombs into the statue's pots, somehow making them fall over so that he could cross them. He ran over to the entrance of the cavern.

"Well Link, this is it. Dragon Roost Cavern." Tetra declared.

"Sweet! First dungeon, here we come!" Link cheered, running inside.