Chapter 4

Emily sat listlessly at her kitchen table, staring at the cold mug of coffee that had been sitting in front of her for an hour. The morning sun was casting a soft blue shadow in the distance, and as the first rays peeked through the window, Emily glanced at the clock. She was half surprised and half irritated when the numbers on the clock showed it was almost six AM; she hadn't slept the whole night. When a soft knock sounded on the door, however, Em realized she had at one point intended to sleep, as she was in her pajamas. Peering through the peephole, she saw Reid fidgeting on the other side. "What do you want, Reid?"

Her voice was bitter, but Reid could hear the chain sliding away. When he laid eyes on her, his heart ached. Her hair was pulled back in a sloppy ponytail and her eyes were swollen and bloodshot. He had seen her in her pajamas enough times on cases to know that she was dressed in her comfiest clothes, so that when she finally got to sleep nothing could wake her up. "I was just checking up. Your place is on my way to work." She nodded, but wasn't sure what to say. "How are you doing?" Reid asked finally.

"I'm okay." She moved aside to let him in and closed the door. As they stood in the entryway, Reid surreptitiously looked over the apartment. It was, as always, neat and clean, but an old photo album sat on the couch that Reid hadn't seen before. "It's just strange." She said, examining her fingernails. Reid just stared at her, waiting for her to meet his eyes. "I haven't talked to John in years, and suddenly he shows up in DC, and then the next thing I know…he's gone."

"Is there anything I can do?" Reid's face was full of concern, but Emily shrugged off his worry.

"Investigate." She replied quietly, catching him off guard. "There's something off here, Reid. You have to believe me. Last night, I know I was out of bounds. But today…and last night…I couldn't stop thinking about it."

"Emily…I'm not suggesting anything…I just want you to really think about this. You know John the best. Are you positive that he wasn't exhibiting any symptoms of depression or addiction?"

"He seemed a bit reserved, but nothing so extreme." Reid could tell that she was tensing up, so he backed off.

"I'll go to his house later." Reid pulled out a chair at the kitchen table and sat down, looking wistfully at the coffee cup that sat before Emily. Getting the clue, she got another mug from the cupboards and filled it to the brim, setting it in front of Reid. "…Emily?" His voice was timid. "I…I don't want to be a bother, but…where do you keep the sugar?"

"Oh God, Reid, Sorry." She took his cup to the counter and began rummaging through the cupboards, taking out boxes of cereal, spices, noodles, and various other items. Reid thought he saw the sugar disappear into the mounting heap, but she kept going, methodically emptying each shelf.

"Emily?" His hand on her arm made her freeze. "Emily, just relax. I'll get this." She slowly backed away, almost folding in on herself. Reid put everything back, poured sugar into his cup and shut the cupboard door. By the time he turned around, she had backed away and put one hand on her pale brow as if to calm herself down. Reid set his mug on the table and leaned against the countertop, knowing that she didn't need to be pushed any more than she had already.

"I'm the last one now." She said, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. "Matthew and John and I…we were best friends in Rome. It was such a…a hellish time in my life, in ways I can't even describe, and they were the only two that knew. It's a part of me, though, and knowing that if I ever needed to…reassure myself or something, I could call them. And now, both of them are gone. It's like…my past might not even be true anymore."

For a moment, Reid was speechless. Quickly recovering, he picked up the photo album on the couch and leafed through it, landing on a picture that seemed to work. The three young faces stared at the camera expectantly and rebelliously, as if their world, contained in the austere elegance of Rome, was a new civilization that had the potential to be just as powerful. He pulled it out of its sleeve and gave it to Emily, who looked at it sadly. "This was right before it happened," she remembered. "We were never quite as…happy after that. I think it was our first real taste of how unfair the world could be."

Reid's phone buzzed with a call from Garcia. He let it go to voicemail and sent her a quick text that he was with Emily. Her eyes darted to the clock above her oven, and she quickly put the picture down, effectively stopping her release of thoughts. "Sorry," he murmured.

"No, it's fine. You have a case to work."

"If you need me, I can stay!" Reid spit out quickly, trying to save the moment.

"No, really. Go to the BAU. I have things to do anyways. I have to call his parents, and I need to go to Metro to talk to the detective in charge." She took the coffee from his hands and walked him to the door before he had a chance to react. "I'll swing by the BAU this afternoon."

"Em, really. If you need anything, call me. Call JJ, call Hotch."

"Just promise me that you'll look into this." Her voice was strong for the first time that morning, and Reid found himself giving in.

"I promise. I'll have something by this afternoon."

Reid walked into the bullpen late, clutching his second cup of coffee of the day. Garcia had clearly told the team where Reid was, so they were huddled around the team's desks waiting for him. "She misses him." Reid pronounces without prompting. "Em told me that her past doesn't feel as significant as it did before, now that she's lost Benton and Cooley."

"It makes sense." Rossi said, leaning back in the rolling chair with an air of wisdom. "Shared memories no longer shared."

"She asked me to investigate." Reid added abruptly. "And…I'd like to. At least a little bit. Just to be sure that there's not something else at play. I thought I could maybe go to his hotel room, retrace his time here."

"I think we at least owe her that." Hotch agreed. "Morgan, go with Reid. We're wrapping up here anyways." The team had narrowed in on their unsub; all that was left to close the case was a visit to his home to arrest him and the avalanche of paperwork that followed.

Morgan followed Reid back to his desk as they picked up the hotel's address, and then the pair was off to the garage. "So, what do you got, Reid? Is there anything in particular that we're looking for?"

"I'm worried about Emily." Reid said abruptly, taking Morgan aback for a couple of seconds before he recovered.

"We all are. You went and saw her this morning?" He asked, trying to discern Reid's motivations.

"Yeah, I stopped by. I got the feeling that I probably shouldn't have left her alone. I…I've never seen her as absent-minded as she is right now."

"Do you think she's in danger?" Morgan's trepidations were in high gear when he heard Reid's analysis, and as they headed towards the car, he waited anxiously for Reid's response.

"No, I just don't think she opens up that easily, and I'm worried it won't happen again before she just swallows it all up and shuts down."

"Is there anything we can do right now?"

"No…the only thing she asked for was an investigation."

"Then that's what we'll give her." Morgan declared, starting the ignition. "We'll find her some answers."