Command These Stones Chapter 4
( a/n:Sorry if this gets confusing. I have no beta reader. L Plus I watched '42' at least 10 times to get all the dialogue and timing right, but of course changed parts because of Rose's presence. I edited it over three weeks which is why it has taken so long. Sorry!)
"Yes!" Rose jumped up in the air and cheered when the pod started to return to the ship. She shook the nervous energy from her arms as she prepared for the Doctor to return to her, and have that proper reunion.
Her luck didn't seem that good, when instead he stumbled into the air hatch and leaned against the wall.
"You alright?" She asked.
"Alive, it's alive." He shook in terror and fell to the floor.
IMPACT IN 8:59
She followed him and rested her arms around him, tilted his head so their eyes met.
" What do you need? Look at me. I can help."
His eyes were squeezed shut. "Doctor?"
He crawled away from her. " Rose, Just stay away from me!" He ground out, shaking, his eyes opened slightly but instead of brown she saw bright light, like his eyelids had become the window covers of the ship- the same blinding light the sun radiated.
As Rose stood up, she heard someone call to the Doctor as he struggled to regain control and close his eyes. No. He was infected like the monster who had attached Erina.
"What happened?" another woman's voice asked but Rose kept her eyes on the Doctor. Would he be lost too?
"It's your fault Captain Mcdonnel." The Doctor hissed.
Rose tuned out the conversation behind her, already terrified of what the Doctor would say. Her heart squeezed painfully in her chest but she managed to get her question out.
" You still in there, Doctor?"
He nods and curls in on himself more.
"We'll just get you back to the TARDIS, Yeah?" Rose tried to be reassuring.
"Can't get to it, too hot." the dark skinned woman, Martha objected.
"Stuck here when all hell breaks loose." Rose said. Well wasn't that just the TARDIS's standard operating procedure.
"You mined that sun for cheap fuel, You should have scanned for life!" The Doctor screamed.
Rose's eyes widened as she put the clues together. It went beyond anything she had ever learned in physics, but after walking fish, and trees what couldn't be sentient?
"Doctor, what are you talking about?" Martha asks.
"It's alive a living organism." He gasps.
If it was alive, that light was in fact the sun, inside his head, and probably the others- would the Doctor lose himself and start killing too? There was nothing in her training or travels that provided a solution. Or rather one she was willing to accept. She would not kill him. Far stronger than gelf, no psychograft- how did you bid the sun goodbye once it decided to possess you?
"Now it's screaming! " The Doctor moaned.
The others denied his claims. She positioned herself between the Doctor and the others as he went on another anti-human rant reminiscent of her first Doctor. The Doctor's anger didn't scare her.
"Rose," He cried. " Need a stasis chamber! Below –200 degrees freeze it out of me." He screamed again. "It'll use me to kill you if you don't-"
She knew the horror and fear in his eyes now wasn't for his own life but for hers.
She sniffed and nodded before turning to the others.
"Stasis chamber." She ordered the captain who jumped at her authoritative tone.
With Martha, she lifted the prone Doctor.
"This way." The captain said in a panic.
IMPACT in 7:30
She tried not to focus on his screams but on their destination. –200F, the Doctor knows what he's doing. Martha moved to the controls once he was on what looked like an MRI bed. Narrow with a pillow but not made for sleeping.
"You'll kill him." The captain argued from the door.
There was always someone arguing with the Doctor's plans or it wouldn't be his plans. Daft, but they worked. All the same fear clamped her throat.
"If he said he can survive it then he can." Martha stated. So she believed in him too, the Doctor's new companion.
"Ten seconds that is all I'll be able to take." The Doctor said, sweating profusely. She could see him losing himself again. "Burning me up! " He shook violently. " I can't control it. Ah! If we don't get rid of it I could kill you, I could kill you all." He went into convulsions and his back arched.
The Doctor had enough guilt. "No, you won't." Rose took his clammy hand. "I won't let you." She promised.
He squeezed her hand past the point of pain and she bit her lip to keep from showing it.
"I'm scared. I'm so scared." He cried.
The Doctor had never said those words before, even when they were about to die.
"I know," Rose kissed his forehead " but you've got to hold on. Hold On!"
"It's burning through me." He said
She heard Martha waste time with words about his saving her life, and cut her off.
"Do it!" Rose ordered. Martha looked offended but pressed the button. Couldn't she see he didn't have time for monologues or final goodbyes?
"Regeneration," he muttered as his head was moved into the machine.
"I know, but you're not going to die. Not today." Rose promised as she did with scared soldiers. It might not always be the truth but it was always what they needed to hear.
Then his screams began as his face began to freeze and she covered her ear with her free hand, as her own tears fell silently. The screams turned to disconsolate sobs and then back to screams.
Then it stopped as did the machine.
IMPACT IN 4:47
So it didn't seem likely that any of them would survive.
"Give back what they took!" The Doctor turned to Martha before going back to screaming.
Martha looked confused.
" Sun particles in the fuel, release then and we might live- go!" Rose translated and gestured for the Captain and Martha to go.
"But," Martha began.
"I've got this. Red button starts blue stops, yeah?" Rose said quickly.
"Rose, you're Rose." Martha said as if she just got what the Doctor had said nearly ten minutes ago. Bit slow.
"Yes. Go Martha, save us all. I've got this." Rose said
Martha turned and ran, grabbing the Captain on her way out as the Doctor began-
" Can't hang on-"
IMPACT in 4: Oh 8
The machine turned off and would not turn back on. Probably the Sun's fault. Damn.
"Rose, you've got to go-" He begged.
"Not leaving you, not again." She assured him even though she could and the part of her that was all instinct insisted that she press the button on her wrist that would take her back home, where it wasn't a burning furnace about to be melted to plasma. Flight when the fight was impossible to win. But she couldn't leave him, not when he was dying. Her mom would worry but maybe she'd just assume she had found the Doctor and stayed with him never to return, but safe. And wasn't that what she was doing now? Except for the safe part. Being with the Doctor was never safe, but after all he had done, how could she leave him to do this on his own?
" Not like any other part of this ship is safer." Rose joked.
" I, I can't kill YOU! NO!" He cried, rolling off the bed.
She caught him before he met the floor and lowered him down as best she could. "shh. I've got you." She held him from behind and gently put him into a neck lock she would never use.
"You won't." She promised. Just four more minutes, and I wouldn't let his last be agony and guilt over me.
"Can't fight it." He shuddered in my arms and his voice changed, grew deeper, no longer his own. " Burn with me!"
She held on tighter, and saw the reflection of his glowing eyes on the metal floor. Sweat was not making this easier. Her knees felt like cooked meat on the floor. She pulled him up into a standing position, and then tripped him at the knee causing him to fall to the floor. The impact knocked him out.
IMPACT in 1:21
"Life support systems reaching critical." The computer blared.
Rose sniffled. They were going to die. Bad Wolf had just led her here to she could provide him some comfort at his death. She rolled his unconscious form over and cradled his head in her lap.
"Love you." She pecked his lips.
IMPACT IN 1: 06 COLLISSION ALERT COLLISION ALER-
He screamed awake and his eyes turned back to normal.
If Rose had believed in fairy tales she might have thought her kiss and words had saved him, but since she didn't anymore they must have released the fuel in time. She held him.
We're going to live, probably, she thought. Within another minute he was holding her back, but breathing hard. When his eyes opened he searched her face.
"Are you all right?" He asked breathily.
Rose choked back a sob, and nodded. He looked relieved for a few moments then pushed up to a kneeling position and asked.
"Did I say anything... weird? To you? Rose? Did I hurt you? What did I say to you while I was gone?"
" It's okay, you weren't in control of yourself." She soothed.
That didn't seem to help at all. as his eyes widened and his voice went squeaky. " Rose-"
She ran her hand through his sopping hair and shook her head.
He held onto her tighter and for reasons unknown but not unwelcome, kissed her full on the mouth.
*DW DW DW DW DW DW
Seeing the shipmates hug, reminded Martha of her own. Was the Doctor even still alive let alone himself?
"Doctor."
Martha eagerly ran for the Doctor to thank him and hug him out of sheer joy to be alive but found him kissing Rose. Well no more need to wonder what kind of relationship he had had with her. He smiled at Rose and lead her towards the TARDIS. Did he even notice Martha from across the room? She had almost died and he didn't so much as say
"Sorry for putting your life in danger because I'm a horrid designated driver."
She followed them back towards the ship and found Riley behind her. Good old Riley.
"This is not your ship!" Riley exclaimed.
"The Doctors, but we travel." Martha explained.
"In a bitty blue box?" Riley wiped his sweaty hair back. His friend just laughed.
Martha looked back at the TARDIS. With Rose back would the Doctor even keep her around? If they were in there did she even want to see the Doctor smitten?
"We can't just leave you here with no fuel-" Martha turned to what was left of the ship's crew.
"We sent out an official mayday," Erina answered, entering the room. "the authorities will pick us up soon enough."
Riley just stared intently at Martha.
"Where is Rose? And the Doctor?" Erina asked politely.
"Back on the ship," Martha began and took a deep breath before continuing. " where I should be heading myself."
"Ohh! Wait." Riley grabbed her hand before she could open the door. "You're off then?"
Martha nodded.
"No chance I'll see you again?" Riley's voice was hopeful.
"Not really." His head fell. " It was nice. Not dying, with you. I reckon you'll find someone worth believing in."
"I already did." He said.
And she kissed him. As she did a plan bloomed in her mind. A solution.
"Wait right here." She grabbed his shirt. " I'll be right back."
Martha opened the doors slowly.
"I missed you." The Doctor confessed.
Martha stood taller, and was about to answer when it became clear he wasn't talking to her.
"Me too." Rose said.
"Will you stay?" Martha never thought she'd hear the Doctor sound so pathetically needy. Sounded a bit like her father with his tramp girlfriend.
"If you want." Martha swore Rose batted her eyes at him.
The Doctor was grinning manically. "I'd like that."
"Was that really you, back in London at the ambulance?" She asks.
Martha crossed her arms. So that was why he had been acting funny!
"Yeah, and I," he scratched the side of his ear "know how you got here and why."
"You do?" Rose sounded confused. "So you're doing something about it, then?"
It was the Doctors turn to look a bit confused. "Yeah." He cleared his throat.
"About the beach," The Doctor looked down nervously. "Rose, Rose Tyler I-"
Martha shut the door loudly behind her so they'd notice they weren't alone. "Doctor. We need to talk." She announced.
"I'm. I'm-" He tilts his head at Rose.
"Right now." Martha insisted.
Rose looked between the two of them. "I'll just go freshen up." She backed towards the door that led into the interior of the TARDIS. Rose looked pretty sweaty from the burning ship. Martha hadn't seen a mirror in an hour and imagined that she wasn't much better.
Martha reprimanded him. "You went back for that genie creature, didn't you Doctor?"
"Well," He turned away from her.
"You gave into the creature that you'd told me was dangerous and never gives you what you really want. 'Don't talk to it Martha!' You said." Martha said, walking towards him.
" You don't know what it's like to lose everything... you don't know." He stops and sits on the jump seat. His eyes looked older and darker.
"Fine then. I'm sure I don't understand. Human me. But-I don't want to watch her die for," Martha sputtered and waved her hands about " Whatever it is you think you're accomplishing. And if you get to keep those kinds of secrets that put peoples lives at stake, then I get to bring Riley with us."
"Riley?" The Doctor asked.
She was ready for him to protest. "Riley, who nearly fell into the sun with me." She crossed her arms and leveled at glare at him.
"Right, Riley. Good chap." The Doctor's eyes showed he could barely remember who that was and that made her angrier. Did he even care?
"I'm not being anyone's third wheel." Martha muttered under he breath. She refused to go back to that, having to deal with it with her college roommate.
"Oh, It's Mickey all over again. " The Doctor bemoaned, leaning back against the console.
"Who?"
DWDWPOVSWITCHDWDW
"Never mind," the Doctor assured her and winced as she took that as a dismissal.
"I'll get him then." Martha stormed out the door. He didn't like hurting her feelings.
If he can't even be honest about his more minor past mistakes to Martha who he doesn't ...His mind deleted the last word. He had programmed himself to edit his own thoughts for revealing weaknesses, a skill most Timelords learned since their most conscious thoughts were generally out there for every other Timelord to hear. Secret crushes were nonexistent on Gallifrey. Weaknesses, emotions that were prone to make one irrational and illogical were to be hidden from the disdain of your fellows. Some of his people found this reassuring that there were no secrets among them, but for Individuals like the Doctor it felt invasive. With hundreds of years of practice at shoving emotional weaknesses asside, was he doomed to accidentally kill by lying to the woman who meant everything to him?
His guards were to protect him from self-destruction, especially illogical, avoidable self inflicted death. Losing her once had nearly ended him with all of those guards up. His self -preservation sector kept objecting and putting up fail-safes against verbal admission of weakness, anything that would solidify the certainty that her loss would break him irrevocability, wherein regeneration couldn't wipe it away. That same sector insisted on posting articles on the short lifespan of humans and the fatality of attaching oneself to one. It listed all the other species that would be better. Was 50 years tops worth thousands of years of pain? Logically not.
"Here it is," Martha came back in with Riley.
"It's bigger on the inside." Riley said, wiping his hands on his pants.
His familiar words seemed to set off a reset button for the Doctor. " Is it?" He spread his arms wide. "Well, what do you know, it is! Welcome to the good ship TARDIS."
The Doctor held out his hand to shake. Riley shook it.
"Come on," Martha said as she pulled Riley down the hall.
He watched them go.
Rose was here and in danger because of him, but how was that so much different from when they were just traveling together. Martha had almost died today too. But if Rose's time was shorter than predicated by being a human, would he leave her thinking that he... was indifferent? That she didn't mean as much to him as he did to her? Was that fair to her? It didn't change his choices, but if she had the courage to tell him on the beach, then didn't he owe it to her to be at least that brave? That if they had similar life spans that he would choose to spend the rest of his with her? Even though it would bring up all of the pain of those he had lost. His whole family. His wife. When he had told Rose that he could never love a human because of their lifespan he had spoken from experience, when he had said it was the curse of the timelords he had lied. It was the curse of this timelord. Watching those you care about withering and dying when you have to live on alone. Others timelords could just see other species die like humans would as an old cat they played with. Amusing but limited. But not him, not anymore. At first he had seen Susan's teachers as annoying stray cats that he put up with for her sake. But then he got attached, saw those curious timelord looking humans who demanded no inner thoughts of him and bravely lived their lives despite how easily they died and it was no longer ok. He started traveling with kids- kittens and sent them home before he could start seeing their inevitable death in their future. Rose had been different. He had come to need her.
Just imagine that happening to someone you love.
The Doctor didn't need to imagine.