It's the summer and I'm fourteen. God, I hate these dreams. I know I'm just going to end up waking up crying, like always. But tonight, I don't remember what happened during that day that I was now dreaming about.
I remember at age fourteen, Sam started to become bolder with me. Our relationship, that was fine with just holding hands, kissing each others cheeks and occasionally a peck on the lips, have finally turned to more powerful and passionate kisses and I learned what each kiss represented. If he was rough and kissing me hungrily, it means he was jealous and was proving to the world that I was his. When it was so soft it barely even counted, that's when he was trying to comfort me, when I had a bad day. And if it was long and passionate and lustful, he was quenching a craving that he knew both of us had.
This particular day, I couldn't find him. I was searching frantically because he asked me to be at this certain spot at noon that day. I got there at around twelve fifteen because I got lost. Yeah yeah, I know what you're thinking. How can you get lost on your own land? Well... I really have no answer, though Sam doesn't mind it a bit. He once told me that he actually liked it because he got to search for me and feel absolute relief when he did and he liked the fact that I depended on him. He said it means that I trust him.
I continue to look around and finally when I'm about to give up and turn back the way I came from, I felt arms around my waist, that I knew all too well, tighten and spin me around to be captured into dark chocolate brown eyes. My dark chocolate brown eyes. Sam kissed me with so much passion, that I forgot where I was, who I am, and what I was doing before I got to this position. Heck, if you asked me what my name was, I'd probably would have said Sam.
"You're late" he mumbled around my lips, but never breaking contact.
"Yeah." I responded, losing the ability to speak a full sentence.
"Get lost again?" he asked, still kissing me.
"Yeah" I sighed, melting.
"Should have known." he smirked, tackling us to the ground and deepening the kiss.
I woke up and just like every night, I cried. I grabbed a pillow and muffled them, so I wouldn't wake Mr. Swan and his wife Mrs. Renee. I checked the time and groaned. Like every night, it was only one in the morning, meaning I would have to endure another awful dream, before school. I brought my blankets further up and cuddled with my pillow until I finally fell back to sleep.
Oh no! No no no no no! I remember this! No! Wake up, Iz! Wake up! I struggled to awaken so I wouldn't have to relive this nightmare, but no avail I remained in my torturous dream.
I pulled back from Sam's lips and for the first time, I'm not smiling. It's August 17, my sixteenth birthday was in a couple weeks, September eighth. Sam looked into my eyes and knew instantly I had something on my mind. He grabbed my chin and met my eyes lovingly.
" What's wrong, Iz?" he asked worriedly.
I sighed and looked down, wringing my hands together. Would he hate me? Would he get mad and leave? Would he be scared? I was scared! Heck, I barely knew what to do myself! Sam grabbed one of my hands and stilled them both. He then brought my chin up again with his free hand and stared into my eyes.
"What's wrong?" he repeated.
"I...I... I got something to tell you" I said frightened.
"Yeah, I gathered that much, sweetie. Now tell me." he said sincerely, not at all sarcastic.
"I... I don't know how you're going to react." I said truthfully.
"Surely, it's not that bad, sweetheart! Come on and tell me" he said, searching my face, as if it would give him the answer quicker.
" I...I...I" I stutter.
"Shhh... baby, tell me. It's all right, tell me." he comforted me.
"I'm...pregnant." I said, tears escaping my eyes.
Sam sat there in shock. He seemed almost frozen, in a way, which only made me feel worse. I started crying harder, covering my face in shame. How could this happen? Why did this have to be me? Oh god, Sam is totally going to bail and I'm going to have to deal with a kid on my own! I cried even harder now! There was no stopping these tears, at least, that's what I thought, until Sam's arms were around me and pulling me into his embrace.
I looked up at him in surprise and he rocked me back and forth. I wouldn't say he was all happy about our unfortunate news, but I could see concern and worry in his eyes as he rocked me.
I could see the questions forming into his eyes. What were we going to do? How are we going to handle this? How do I know he was thinking this? Because my face looked just like his, when I first found out.
"Shh... baby, shhh. We'll figure out what to do. I promise."
I woke up yet again only this time from my alarm clock. I turned it off and got out of bed. I went to my floor length mirror lifted up my shirt and placed my hands on my completely flat stomach. Tears formed in my eyes, as I thought, what I wouldn't give to have had that baby now. Just so I could still have a little part of Sam with me still.
After a couple of weeks of telling Sam about our pregnancy, we were both in a terrible car accident. A drunk driver drove right through a stop light and rammed us. The next thing we knew, we were in the hospital with matching casts, listening to a very distraught doctor telling us about our miscarriage.
I sighed and brought my shirt back down. I walked to my closet and put on a long sleeve light cream shirt, with a ruffled neutral shirt that had a pattern of pink roses on it and a dark brown belt in the middle. My jeans were lighter than yesterdays which made my dark brown flats pop. I wore my hair in a ponytail, with my bangs and end of ponytail resting on my right side.
I sighed as my eyes landed back on the gold dream catcher around my neck. I picked it up, and stared at it some more.
"Much good you did for me last night." I said before dropping it back into place, grabbed my back pack, and headed out the door.
When I got to the school, I sat in the car awhile and watched as my friend, Leah, waved animatedly over at me. I waved my hand at her, with a fake smile plastered on my lips. When she seemed satisfied, she turned back around to our other friends and chatted away. I dropped my smile and looked at the dashboard which had a picture of Sam smiling.
"Well, today is a new day, Sam…. Wish me luck." I said and kissed my fingers bringing it gently down on his lips.
I sighed, turned off my car and grabbed my backpack from the back seat. I got out of the car and walked to my friends with a fake smile on my face. Indeed, today is a new day. A new day to pretend to be happy and please everyone.
Alright guys, this is the end of getting to know just how much grand Bella's and Sam's relationship was. In the next chapter, we will move on from the basics and start a plot. Thanks for reading.