WARNING: Slight mention of teacher/student relationship (or lack of?), language, mention of sex, oblivious!Dumbledore
Severus Is a Madman
"I asked Miss Granger to marry me this afternoon," Severus said with out preamble.
"Splendid!" exclaimed Dumbledore. "Do you want a lemon drop?"
"She turned me down."
"Not splendid!" exclaimed Dumbledore. "Do you want a lemon drop?"
Severus turned around fully to look at the Headmaster. His eyes flashed angrily, and he somehow seemed to swell with his fury.
"I just asked the first bloody woman in the world that I ever truly considered worthy of my affections, the only woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, the one I want to fuck into my desk every day and then think about instead of berating incompetent students to marry me. And she rejected me. So, I come to you, expecting comfort from one of the few people in this God-forsaken world that I actually trust. And you ask me if I want a bloody lemon drop?!"
Dumbledore shrunk into his chair, and decided he wouldn't offer Severus any more sweets. The man already had dangerous mood swings without adding sugar.
Highly unstable, he was.
Severus's following destruction of Albus's office had nothing to do with the Headmaster's complete and utter lack of tact. Of course not.
It was all because Severus was clearly a madman.