Look out, kiddies. LOTS of naughty swears ahead!! It's what happens when nasty Mr Kenpachi gets angry. Serves him right, though. Lol… bananas.
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When Captain Kenpachi of eleventh division opened his eyes after a fantastic night's sleep, he blinked and wondered why it was still dark. He rubbed his eyes, only to have his fingers encounter something that certainly wasn't his face. "What the fuck…?!" He sat up and pulled at the thing, wincing as it pulled at his skin too. He realised that whatever it was had been shaped into a hideous snarl and panicked: had he been turned into a Hollow somehow overnight?!
The big captain tried to get up but his feet were entangled in the sheets and he fell out of his bed and onto the ground with a loud crash as he knocked over the nightstand. "Gah…!! What the fuck?!" He managed to get to his feet with the limited visual range available to him and stared around at his room: it seemed… different. Kenpachi stumbled towards the mirror hanging on the wall and found that it had disappeared. "Huh?!" He turned and looked around the room a second time, noting that everything but the bed had been taken out, his hangings and tatami mats removed, and there was what appeared to be mouldy straw on the floor. "Ok, who's fucking brilliant idea was this?! Fuck!!!" he stumbled around the room a little, pulling at the thing on his face again. "Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck…!! GAH!!" He slipped and fell flat on his back, hitting his head. "Ow… fuck… me… dead!!"
Kenpachi rolled over and found himself staring at his reflection in a piece of broken glass. "Wha…?! A GORILLA MASK?! WHAT THE FUCK?!" his fingers scrabbled across the embarrassing piece of latex as he tried once again to peel the damn thing off before anyone could come in and see the animal he secretly feared glued to his face. He looked around his room again for something, anything to cut the damn thing off, and realised that there were no sharp objects in the whole thing. Suddenly he was overwhelmed by emotion and he sat down hard in the middle of the floor with a thud. He muttered "fuck…" half-heartedly, as though he couldn't really be bothered anymore, and tugged gently at the mask as his stomach growled loudly. "Fucking stomach." He heard the door open behind him, but couldn't turn quickly enough to see who it was: there was a bunch of bananas sitting next to a bowl of water. Kenpachi picked up the bananas. "Oh fuck's sake…" Kenpachi stood up and kicked at the door, yelling "Let me the fuck out so I can fucking smash your fucking face in, you piece of shit!"
The door splintered into nothingness to reveal… his entire squad standing outside, looking shocked in their sleeping clothes. Kenpachi froze, allowing them to take in the full view of the mask, glued to his face and the bananas in his hands.
It was impossible to pinpoint exactly where the laughter started: somewhere from the middle of the group. It spread quickly, and once it had begun it was impossible to stop. Kenpachi was forced to stand there with his squad falling about laughing at him, his cheeks slowly reddening in an angry blush beneath the gorilla mask. His hands started to clench and he slowly and creepily crushed the bananas between his fingers.
With his squad joking around without really watching him, Kenpachi found it almost too easy to build his spiritual pressure. "Shut…" he lifted his head, his spiritual pressure exploding the wall outwards onto the squad "UP!!!" The mask was torn partially from his face as his power exploded the wall into dust and huge chunks of debris all over his squad, and he stood there breathing heavily as it slowly settled into the silence. Kenpachi started pulling of the bits of latex that remained on his face, wincing as they pulled hairs. "When I find out who put this shit on me… I'm going to slice their fucking head off!!"
Standing outside, Byakuya felt the spiritual pressure grow and heard the massive explosion. Renji, standing beside him, quickly looked at his captain and visibly swallowed. Byakuya merely blinked, and started to walk away. "I guess we'd better get out of here before he thinks to gorilla his way out here and do a King Kong with one us up the gate tower." Renji blinked as his captain disappeared, and heard another huge explosion from inside. He swallowed again, and ran after his secretly smirking captain.
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Well folks, that's your bloomin' lot for the week. Or at least a little while.
Yes I know the whole two updates in one day this is exciting, but don't get used to it: I'm not Exavier Artis! (Cake for him because he does such a great job keeping me entertained) I stayed up extra late so I could finish this chapter and get it up so you may read and be amazed at Kenpachi's swears. He's a naughty boy. Someone could make a fortune off him if they ever made him do a swear jar! Hmm… secret evil plan forming… go away! Tis my evil plan!!
And now: cake for all.