Author's note: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed/favourited/alerted. This is the first fic I have ever written as a prompt for someone else – thanks to Karomeled for the prompt and letting me completely warp it to suit my mind. This fic is also the first multi-chapter fic I have ever completed (TWB is the first one I started), so it will always hold a special place, even when in future years I look back and no doubt cringe. Happy New Year to everyone out there, please be safe. TWB will be late again this weekend. Kurtofsky Secret Santa needs work and I have a really annoying thing called a real life which I have to pay attention to.

WARNING: Mild smut. (For me anyway). Um. It's just a heavy make out session, would be the best way of describing it. There is an orgasm involved. If you don't know what that is you shouldn't be reading this.

Disclaimer: Don't own Glee.

CHAPTER FOUR

Dave is out of bed before his mind and body are even awake. He can hear Kurt crying, and he imagines this is what new parents must feel like, responding on auto-pilot to their child's cries. He staggers down the hallway, one hand on the wall, unable to make out even the tiniest flicker of light because his eyes feel glued shut. He turns the handle to the bedroom and the sounds of Kurt in distress increase in volume. He rubs at his eyes, trying to clear them enough so he can at least make out the room. He wants to flick on the light, but doesn't know if that will be helpful or not, so leaves it and moves toward the bed. His eyes have adjusted now that they're open properly, and thankfully Kurt has a lamp dimmed all the way down sitting on beside table.

The utter terror in Kurt's eyes when he looks at him makes his body freeze, and he kneels so he isn't looming over him. Despite the churning in his gut at seeing Kurt so clearly petrified he can't help but hope that maybe something has jogged his brain, that memories have clicked into place.

"Kurt…are you alright?" He keeps his voice quiet, just above a whisper. He's pretty sure Kurt is awake, but he wouldn't be surprised if Kurt suddenly started experiencing waking night terrors or something. He has no idea how the mind works, although he has a better idea now than he did six months ago.

"I…yeah. Just…A nightmare. I think. I…was scared. Terrified of something. But I don't know what exactly…"

He can tell Kurt is holding something back but he's not going to push him. Kurt's skin is pale and shiny, and Dave's pretty sure he feels fragile. What he wants most is to wrap his arms around him and tell him it'll be okay, but he can't. Especially not when he's just realised he's kneeling there in just his pyjama pants. It's weird to feel like an intruder in his own bedroom, but he's gotten used to thinking of it as solely Kurt's room.

"You think you'll be okay?"

"Um…Can you stay? Please? At least until I fall asleep?"

Kurt's eyes are still wide with something, which make him pause, but then he nods, going to get the duvet off his bed. He will never be able to say no to Kurt, but he's not going to curl up in his bed under the blankets with him, not when he's starting to forget that there's so much Kurt doesn't remember.

KHDK

He wakes up to Dave's chest. Somehow he's burrowed down and made himself eye-level with tan nipples and a hair covered chest. He kind of wants to reach out and touch, but he doesn't, instead trying to get his head around the fact that he's just slept with a guy. And sure there were clothes and duvets separating them, but he still feels like he's broken several rules and his dad is going to ground him for the next month or something.

He remembers the dream. It's all jumbled, just feelings and sensations, the only clear image is Dave, but it's Dave now. It confuses him. He remembers pain, and being thrown against something, and he thinks that maybe he's starting to remember what Dave did to him in high school, because he's been told about that time by Dave, Blaine, his Dad and to a lesser extent Finn. It seems like the only logical conclusion, except it doesn't feel right, because he's sure he'd remember Dave's face from then, not now. It's frustrating, trying to grasp at something that just keeps slipping from his reach. Knowing it is there, waiting for him to grab hold of and to have it just dissolve into mist.

He slides out of the bed, carefully and slowly so he doesn't wake Dave. Despite the sense of panic and terror from his dream he isn't afraid of Dave, which is disconcerting, although he's fighting back hysterical laughter that he's just slept with someone. He's glad it's Dave, because he's sure he's in love with him. Fallen in love with him. Again. He tiptoes across the room, and it's carpet, so he probably doesn't need to, but he's feeling dramatic. He stares at his reflection in the mirror. He generally tries to avoid looking at his reflection, because he looks so old. He still looks good though, but there're fine lines around his eyes when he smiles, and on his forehead as well. However, he's broadened out and his face has lost the roundness and dreaded puppy-fat. He looks like a man, which is kind of reassuring, because he knows he could have passed as a girl if he'd wanted to when he was a teenager. He wonders when he started changing and decides to go through all the photos again, see if it helps slot things in to place or help settle the images in his mind that he can't see.

His body feels old. Stiff, sore and his musculature is only just starting to reappear after weeks of physio. He knows the lack of muscle definition is because of the accident, but he wonders how he keeps fit now. He hasn't seen any gym gear lying about the apartment, and he can't imagine himself going running, especially on the streets of New York. He takes a leisurely shower, and he feels more relaxed when he steps out into the steamed up room, not as anxious about the already faded images from his dream. He wraps his bathrobe around him and when he opens the door quietly to bedroom Dave is no longer there.

KHDK

The first time Kurt kisses him good bye in the morning when he leaves for work he just stands there in startled silence, before Kurt had laughed at him, pushed him towards the door and told him to go to work. When he'd received another kiss when he got home he was slightly more prepared, but still startled. They're nothing more than innocent little pecks to his cheek, but they mean so much more. That Kurt is becoming comfortable. Relaxed.

He knows something has happened, because Kurt has reorganised all of the photos into chronological order and flicks through them on his tablet on a regular basis. He asks more questions, specific questions which Dave only sometimes has the answer to. He doesn't remember what was served for Christmas dinner two years ago, or what Kurt's favourite piece of clothing is (he's pretty sure he doesn't have just one). He does know what Kurt's favourite foods are, how he likes his coffee, his shoe size, and what he looks like after sex… He hasn't mentioned the nightmare again, and maybe it was just that, but Dave still has tiny seeds of hope that it's more. He's spoken to the psychologist that Kurt refuses to see, and told not to pressure him. To give him space, but also to be there. It all seems perfectly logical. It doesn't make it any easier though.

They're on the sofa, Kurt's feet are rested against the side of his leg. If it was his Kurt he'd have demanded a foot massage by now, or started rubbing Dave's cock with his foot through his pants. Instead his feet are to the side, just touching his thigh, and despite the fact that he knows Kurt's feet are like foot-shaped blocks of ice his leg feels warm.

"You wear my clothes…" Kurt says suddenly, and he prods his thigh with his big toe. Dave glances down at it and then up at Kurt's face, puzzled.

"Uh…no I don't. Your clothes don't fit me."

"No. I mean, you wear clothes that I've made for you."

Dave feels his entire body tense. He hasn't told everything to Kurt, wants to keep some parts back, maybe so he'll know when Kurt returns to him fully… but maybe he won't return in one big rushing waterfall. Maybe it will be more like the trickle of a gentle stream. Either way, he hasn't ever told Kurt that most of his wardrobe has been made by him personally.

"How do you know that?" His voice sounds rough, and as soon as he asks the question the look on Kurt's face is instantly apologetic and he knows he hasn't remembered it.

"Uh, I figured it out. A while ago actually. I mean, a lot of your clothes are custom made, and don't have care labels, so I just…figured that I probably made them for you."

"I…yeah. You're right. You did. It kind of started out as a joke. You were complaining about my clothes and I said you should just dress me how you wanted and then…you did."

"Oh. Do you mind?"

"Do you think I'd have a wardrobe full of clothes if I did?"

"Yeah," Kurt replies, and he looks a bit saddened.

Dave bursts out laughing, because Kurt's right, even if he hated the clothes, he'd still let Kurt do it. Kurt's never made him anything that Dave has felt trepidation about wearing though, although he doesn't know if he'd place as much faith in the current Kurt. He had some fairly out-there ideas.

"I like the clothes just fine. You've never made me anything that I hate. I have favourites of course."

"I like the forest green one with the lighter green stitching."

"Yeah, it's your favourite," Dave says, and he's not sure if it's just a coincidence, or whether Kurt is slowly returning to him.

KHDK

Kurt could tell Dave was disappointed that he had only figured out about the clothes, rather than remembering. And he has to admit it to himself that he's starting to get equally frustrated. He feels like he's tried everything, and he's started looking up alternate possibilities. He's dreamed again, and he knows now that it's definitely something he's remembering, but it's loud and scary, and somehow has something to do with Dave, but he's not sure how. The glimpses are frustratingly short, shrouded in fog almost and he's woken a couple of times and had to punch his pillow in frustration. He's thought that maybe that first kiss with Dave is what has started this sequence of dreams, which is part of the reason why he's started kissing him. He likes kissing him though, and Dave lets him, although he's really starting to want Dave to initiate some of the kisses. He gets that he's uncomfortable, but he's getting to the point where he might scream. He wants…more. He's not sure exactly what though, because he's still a little freaked out by the whole sex thing, but he's becoming less and less freaked out each time he kisses Dave.

So he's dealing with dual doses of frustration, and the fact that Dave seems so cool, calm and collected is profoundly irritating at times. He feels like throwing a bitch fit, yelling and screaming about the unfairness of it all, how he has an awesome life and he can't even remember any of it. Instead he buries himself in his sewing room. Makes clothes and sketches. Walks around New York in awe that he now lives here. Talks to his boss, because despite his current lack of a qualification he still has an eye for what looks good. When he finds himself buying fabric for a shirt for Dave he sighs and completes the purchase.

The dreams start coming every night, and none of them are as shocking or as terrifying as the first, but he still can't retain any of the images. He gives up on sleep one night, instead getting up and going into his sewing room. His haven. He closes the door quietly and sets to work, mind not on what he's really doing, just wanting to be distracted from the constant sense of trying to catch water in a sieve. He doesn't know how long he's been working, but he hasn't heard the door open, or noticed Dave standing there, watching.

"Couldn't sleep huh?" Dave asks, and his arms are crossed over his bare chest and Kurt shakes his head, looking down at the fabric in his hands. "You always used to come in here when you were working something over in your head…"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Look, Kurt…are you remembering things?"

"I…don't know…" Kurt says, and it's a broken whisper. "It's like…the last ten years is a roll of film, and someone has cut it all up frame by frame, and I don't know what's a memory, or something you or Finn or my dad have told me, or a photo I've looked at… it's confusing… and scary…There are some things which I'm sure are a memory, but then I'll remember seeing a photo and I know I'm not remembering at all. That it's not real. And I want to remember so badly, but it's just this collection of half-developed pictures, sometimes mixed up with clips from other films and I just feel so useless…"

He's crying as he talks, and he sounds barely coherent to his own ears but Dave has moved to stand beside him, wrapped his arms around him and Kurt lets himself sag slightly against his strength. Dave's hand is rubbing soothing circles on his back and Kurt likes the physical contact, that Dave has comforted him automatically. He rests his head on Dave's shoulder, trying for deep calming breaths as Dave talks.

"Fuck Kurt…don't put so much pressure on yourself. It's ten years of memories. It would be a flood of information and emotions and…everything. Just… go easy on yourself okay? What are you making anyway?"

"Uh…" Kurt pulls back and Dave's arms immediately loosen, which he doesn't like, wants them back around him. He looks down at the fabric in his hands and for the first time realises it's the fabric he bought the day before. "It's meant to be a shirt for you…"

He shakes it out, and it's all pieced together, almost finished in fact. It needs button holes and buttons, as well as the final hem, which he picks at before looking up at Dave's eyes, which are searching his face.

"Where did you get my measurements?"

"Um…I didn't. I mean… I just… made it."

The significance of the words hang in the air between them, and Kurt feels a thrill of excitement that he apparently knows Dave's measurements subconsciously. Dave is tugging the shirt out of his hands and putting it on, his eyes never leaving Kurt's. The shirt is a perfect fit, it hangs off his shoulders, if the right length for his arms and Kurt can tell the collar is the right circumference and the entire shirt is the right length.

"Perfect…" Kurt breaths, because it's something tangible, something real, something that tells him while he might not be able to remember everything, some part of his brain is ticking over and filing things away where they're meant to belong. Dave's mouth on his takes his by surprise for all of a second before he's kissing him back, allowing his fingers to run down the open shirt, running back up underneath the shirt, fingers tracing over bare skin that he's never touched before. Dave is firm and warm and strong, but above all of that he's gentle.

KHDK

Dave can't believe it, that it's actually finally happening, that there has been some sign of Kurt's memories returning. To some it might seem like a small thing, but it's finally seeing the tiny flicker of light at the end of the tunnel after nearly six months of solid walking. And even if the tunnel is still miles long, knowing that that light is there will make the journey all the more worthwhile.

Kissing Kurt had been automatic, his hands going to his hips while Kurt's hands explored his chest. Something both versions of Kurt seem fascinated by. He flicks his tongue out and Kurt's mouth opens in response, and he feels his fists grasp at the shirt, his body swaying forward and Dave pulls back, needing to make sure, needing to know what Kurt wants before he gets carried away. Kurt lets out an annoyed sound at the loss of lips and his eyes open to glare at him and Dave can't help but grin. Seeing Kurt glare at him, be annoyed with him… it's a welcome sight. One he hasn't seen in too long.

"You okay with this?"

"Uh…what's this exactly?"

"Whatever you want…" Dave replies, and he means it. If Kurt wants to make out, great. If Kurt wants to go to bed, he can deal with that. If Kurt wants…more. Well, he's all up for that too.

"Um…making out. What we were just doing… is that okay?"

"More than okay. You just…you're in charge here okay?"

Kurt nods jerkily and he's blushing, which Dave finds adorable because Kurt doesn't blush like that anymore. He lowers his head, letting lips brush across lips feather light and Kurt's pushing against him, hands skating across his chest again, and Dave places his hands back on his hips, gentle, so that Kurt can pull away the moment he wants to.

Except there's no pulling away. Instead Kurt is plastering his body against him, attempting to slide a leg between his rather ungracefully and Dave has to fight the urge to hold him there. He wants to suggest that maybe they move to a bed, but doesn't want to give Kurt the wrong impression, or pressure him. He kisses thoroughly, revelling in the feel of Kurt's mouth, the bumps in the roof of his mouth, the extra sensitive spot on his cheek beside his lip. Kurt arches and Dave pulls back to lick a long stripe up the exposed neck, and sure enough, Kurt shudders. He feels a surge of relief, that Kurt's body is still the same, still reacts the same way.

"I don't…I don't know what I'm doing," Kurt mutters, eyes closed, but his body doesn't move away, and he's grinding against him ever so slightly. Dave drops his mouth to Kurt's ear, licks and nips the lobe until he feels Kurt shudder against him again. He loves how responsive Kurt is.

"You do whatever you want and whatever feels right…don't worry about me okay. I can take care of myself."

"I don't want you to take care of yourself. I want to take care of you…" Kurt mutters, and he sounds petulant which just makes Dave smile. His body is moving fluidly now, rutting against his thigh, and Dave can feel the warm hardness through the thin fabric of his pyjama bottoms.

"I'm not going to complain, but I just thought…this first time…you just…go whatever pace you need."

"I've been thinking of this… thinking of you… wanting you. I just… I'm scared I'm going to do it wrong."

Dave's eyes close at the vulnerability in Kurt's voice and he scatters kisses over his face and neck. He's wearing his full pyjamas, buttons done up to the neck and Dave has to smile.

"You could never do this wrong Kurt. Never."

Dave slips his hand between their bodies, to the front of Kurt's pyjama pants, and he means for the touch to be soft, so he can ask if it's okay, but Kurt lets out a soft moan and thrusts into his hand. Dave bites back a matching moan, because it's been too long since he's seen Kurt like this.

He palms Kurt's cock through the fabric, watching Kurt's face, his eyes squeezed shut, mouth open, tongue darting out to wet his lips. He kisses him, only holding back a small part, enough to pay attention to Kurt if he suddenly pulls away or makes a sound of distress. All he gets from Kurt is the thrust of eager tongue into his mouth, fingers tugging his chest hair and when he goes back to kissing Kurt's neck he can hear mumbled 'oh fucking hell's under Kurt's breath. He works his hand faster, hoping that Kurt won't regret this in the morning, or fuck, in a few minutes. He can feel the wetness of pre-come, the tell-tale tautness of Kurt's body against his and knows that he's close.

When Kurt comes a few minutes later Dave watches, enthralled. The bitten lip, eyes blown wide, the almost drunk and dazed look Kurt gets on his face as he comes, as if it's a surprise each time. He watches as Kurt blinks slowly, eyes refocusing on the room. On him.

"I love you," Dave says, giving him a short kiss, and he realises he hasn't said it aloud to him once since he woke up. "I love you."

"I know. I love you too. All over again," Kurt murmurs quietly, and he's blushing furiously and Dave realises he's probably sticky, uncomfortable and suddenly shy. Especially with the words thrown in there. He can't resist another kiss though, before pulling back.

"You should probably go shower…change your pyjamas. Try and get back to sleep…"

"Yeah. A shower sounds good. Um. Will you…uh…"

"Do you want me to come to bed with you?"

Kurt nods, looking relieved that he doesn't have to voice his request out loud and Dave nods and smiles. He's going to need a shower himself, so he sends Kurt to his bedroom and en suite while he heads to the main bathroom, telling Kurt he'll be in bed shortly. As he undresses he fingers the fine fabric of the shirt and smiles, because everything is actually going to be alright.

KHDK

Kurt wakes the next morning with Dave's arms around him and he grins, because it feels good, and even if his memory takes years to return, he knows that it is returning, and he can live with that. He allows his body to act on instinct, placing a hand on Dave's chest, and it feels significant somehow, he doesn't know why, just that it causes Dave to smile in his sleep, and maybe that's why it is significant. Although it also apparently makes Dave wake up.

"Morning…" Dave says, and his voice is gravelly and deep and Kurt likes the sound.

"Hi. Sleep well?" He feels embarrassed. Knows he shouldn't really, but can't help it.

"Yeah. Best I've slept in a long time…" he replies, and his smile is soft and lingering, and Kurt feels warmth flood him as he understands. Dave slept well because he's back in his own bed. With him. He's glad Dave understood what he was trying to ask last night without the need for him to say the words.

That day while Dave is at work he moves all of his things into their bedroom. When Dave comes home and sees the empty guest room Kurt knows he's got his message across loud and clear. He might not be ready for anything more than exploratory hand jobs for now, but he's not giving up sleeping with Dave's arms wrapped around him.

KHDK

He hears a screech of tyres, the loud on-going sound of a car horn before the crunch of metal, the shattering crash of glass as it rains down and the popping sound of an airbag inflating. He feels sick, the words 'Just come home safe' repeating in his ears, and he's terrified that he's never going to see him again, terrified that the last words to him are going to be about not eating takeout for dinner, rather than words of love. The sound of sirens and Dave's face floating in front of him. 'Just come home safe.'

Kurt blinks awake in the dark, and stares into the darkness, a slow smile gracing his lips. He reaches out and places a hand on Dave's chest, right over his heart so he can feel the strong steady beat.

"I'm finally home safe."

THE END