'Don't give me that look...'
I was a coward. I couldn't force myself to look at Mami-san, but despite that, I could feel her eyes staring straight at me. She was probably disappointed, betrayed even. I could tell what she was feeling, and yet, I couldn't bring myself to apologize to her- let alone say anything.
"W-what do you mean?" she asked. I gritted my teeth. I didn't want to say anything more... I really didn't. But even so, my mouth seemed to have a mind of its own.
"Wouldn't it be better... if we just went after the witches? The familiars don't drop anything... Why bother hunting for them and get nothing in return when we can wait for them to turn into witches and end up with a grief seed?" Mami-san took a step back. I saw her face starting to pale, but maybe, just maybe, that was due to the cold weather.
"But Sakura-san... even familiars hurt innocent people too, you know..." she mumbled meekly. Her eyes began to tear up a little bit.
"Tch," I scoffed, "I completely forgot about that stupid, 'let's protect the world!', attitude of yours."
"Is it so wrong to want to protect people who should have no involvement with this witch business in the first place? Anyone can get hurt at any time. Is that not enough of a reason to-"
"THEN WHAT ABOUT YOURSELF?!" I cried with unnecessary volume. Mami-san looked surprised, so I felt obligated to continue. "What about us magical girls? Do we have to sit around and use up all of our magic hunting down these familiars that do us no good? Hell, if that's what you want, then our ideals clash. You see, if there was something that I learned, it's that you shouldn't have to use magic for anyone but yourself."
"Sakura-san, I understand your pain about your family, but-"
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!" I blew up again. This time, my frustration was genuine. What was she doing, purposely pushing my buttons like that? "Having your parents die in an inevitable car accident is completely different from being the sole cause of your family's death. I was foolish for wasting a wish on someone else. Doing something as stupidly selfless as that only causes grief and suffering. You don't understand such a thing, Tomoe Mami. The feeling of overwhelming regret, pain, misery, grief. You don't know what it's like having to carry on my days knowing that I was the reason why my father felt these very feelings in his last moments as well. Mami-san, you are too naive and too kind for your own good. Sorry, but I'll be going solo from here on out."
I turned around and began to walk away, but just then, I felt someone grabbing onto my arm with a very firm grip.
"I won't let you go alone," she said, her voice noticeably shaking. "You're obviously hurting on the inside, and you need someone to comfort you- whether it be me or someone else, you musn't take off by yourself."
I tried to shake her arm off, but it was evident that she was not going to give up without a fight. If that was what she wanted, then that was what she was going to get.
"You're going to do this the hard way, aren't you?" I replied with a sinister grin on my face. Instantly, I transformed into my magical girl outfit. Mami-san stood in silence for a few seconds, but she eventually snapped back into reality. Wiping away her tears, her clothes quickly turned into a familiar looking dress.
"You're one handful of a kouhai, you know!" she declared, pointing a musket straight at my head.
"Sorry about this, senpai!"