Sorry for being so late, life's a bitch and she means business.

Also, I'm learning to work on Raphael's Brooklyn accent! And if you're wondering, the boys live in Brooklyn, NY. I know in the original 2003 TV shown (I don't know the original setting of 2012 TV show or the comics, but if you do, let me know by reviewing or PM-ing me!) in Manhattan, NY. That's the borough that the lair/sewer system they live in is located. And if you don't get the title, it's because love is Mikey's problem now, hehe. He loves Woody and loves his brothers, but he can't convey it, thus making him sick.

Here it is; and Punzi, you owe me chocolate sprinkles... I never forget. Never ;3

What They Always Tell Us

Chapter 4 – Love Is Sickening

Mikey made couldn't help but smile once he saw Woody's shocked reaction.

"I beat you again! Say hello to the new World Champion bro!" Mikey gloated for once. Somehow, Woody was the only thing that could cheer him up. Not the game, or the fact he had won for the fourth time that afternoon, but the fact that he was sitting shoulder to shoulder with Woody.

Woody, the guy he found himself slowly crushing on.

Woody the guy.

Mike's smile of victory nearly fell straight down at the thought. Woody liked girls, like how he was supposed to. Mikey, on the other hand, found himself having, to say the least, pleasant dreams of men at night. And not just Woody (Though Mike would be a fool to say that Woody wasn't apart of at least 95% of them), but other men as well. Men from commercials, the streets, places, TV shows; really, really, attractive men too.

And with the thoughts of his dreams in mind, Mike felt something stiff. He struggled to contain his erection along with his body's slight involuntary movements considering Woody was right against his side. Not helping.

"You okay Mikester?" Woody asked concern showing on his face. They were sitting on Woody's couch in his living room and Woody's parents were out on a date night. This gave Mikey a whole afternoon alone with Woody.

"Yeah, totally man!" Mikey gave himself a minute to try and think of some lifesaving excuse.

'Shit, shit, shit! What the heck do I say? "Hey man, just got a boner thinking about your body on mine"!? I'm crazy, insane. I've gone fricking loco. I like guys, and not just any guy, but Woody! My best friend! My only friend!' Mikey's mind was rushing.

He felt his hands sweating worse now and his leg was bouncing.

'You have to save this useless! He's not just your best friend, he's your only friend! You're gonna push him away too!' Barked that voice in his head.

"Uh, just, I..." Mikey froze when his phone buzzed. Looking down, he saw the alarm he had set to go off.

'Get Home' Was displayed on his phone's home screen with the options 'Snooze' or 'Dismiss' under it.

Tapping 'Dismiss' with shaky arms, he quickly saved himself, "Em, I- uh- gotta go home now. My brothers are probably worried by now!" Mikey jumped up, shaking everywhere, grabbed his bag and dark green hoodie. Woody rose an eyebrow and before he could even say goodbye, Mikey was gone.

"Weird..." Woody mumbled. What was going on with his best friend?

'Where is he?'

"He's probably just with a friend."

'Where is he?'

"Like ah care!"

'Where is he?'

"Oh sure, you don't care now, right Raphael?"

'I just want to know where he is!'

"He's jus' tryin' ta scare us. It's all jus' ta pull our leg, 'coz he's mad 'coz we laid it ta 'im straight at Christmas."

'Where is my baby brother?'

"Both of you can just shut the heck up!" Don finally snapped, pushing his glasses up on his flushed face. His face had the tendency to get red when angry or worried sick, something he hated about himself. "Our little brother is missing, missing, in Brooklyn, and all you guys can do is argue!?" Don was pissed off with his brothers right now.

"Yer all worryin' too much." Raph rolled his eyes. Internally, he was repeating the same mantra inside his head as his Brainiac brother. Where was Mikey? Was he hurt? If he was, who the hell was Raph going to beat up? And if he wasn't, what had his brother been doing?

The silence in the room was deafening for a moment. Leo was sitting at the apartment's counter on a bar stool, eying the clock on the wall as if demanding it to stop until his little brother was home and safe. Don had been sitting on the counter but had jumped off during his protest, he was now sitting back down, but on the couch in the open living room, which gave an open view to the kitchen and entrance area. Raph was leaning against the corner by the door, ready to either run out on his bike and find his brother himself or beat up his little brother when he came home, all the while trying to act nonchalant. All they could do was wait, and it was killing them all.

"We should just call him. This grudge has gone on long enough." Leo finally conceded. Getting his phone out, he was going to call up his youngest brother. He couldn't wait any longer.

Even Raph couldn't say no to that one, because the big brother inside of him was yelling at Leo, begging Leo, his big brother, to find out what happened, what happened to their little brother.

When Leo's phone came to life, he saw the time.

9:58

Another taunting reminder of how late it was. Another taunting reminder that their little brother was not home, not safe. Another taunting reminder that their little brother could be hurt, lost, or worse...

They chose not to think any further than that.

Once Leo called the phone, the whole room filled with dread. Straight to voicemail.

Mikey didn't go home like he had told Woody. Instead, he had decided to just cruise around Brooklyn on his, magically still intact, skateboard. He visited the park, the grocery store (pretending to be shopping and not finding what you want is something his 'acting' skills helped in), even the arcade! Eventually, Mikey knew he had to get home. But he had dreaded it because he knew what home meant. Home meant, now thanks to him and his dumb problems, awkward silence and high tensions between his own (once close with) brothers and father, awaited. He didn't know how they'd react to him returning, but he had the impression they'd either all be asleep and lecture him in the morning or ignore him still.

'They're gonna pretend I don't exist. I don't blame them. I wanna pretend I don't exist too.'

He slowly pushed open the door in exhaustion, fear, and anxiety. What was he to expect? He honestly didn't know what to expect anymore.

"Mikey?" came a familiar voice, filled with worry and hope. Leo? Had he stayed up for him?

'I bet it was because Dad told him to. The others are probably asleep.'

Mikey peeked his head in, he was shocked.

"Mikey! Thank god, you're all right!" Don came up to Mikey, arms open and hugged the life out of Mikey for a moment.

Mikey observed his family for a moment.

Leo's face, which was once drawn heavy with worry and fear, was now lighter and relaxed, but still slightly tense. But Mikey saw beneath it; he was getting lectured. Big time.

Don, who was holding him at arm's length now, was frantic but slowly calmed down. Mikey's brainy brother was holding him in tight eye contact as if demanding an answer the unasked question everyone was thinking, "What happened to you and where were you?". Other than that, Don seemed just completely relieved.

Raph. Now Raph was the one that met Mikey's expectations.

He was just sitting there. Looking Mikey up and down, as if looking for marks or injuries. When he found none, Raph just glared harshly at his little brother before leaving the room, muttering about how he was going to bed now.

'When did Raph ever hit the hay at this time? Oh right, when I messed up our relationship. He doesn't care now. Who knows if he ever did.'

"Why are you so dirty?" Leo came over and asked, his face asking the question already.

"I nearl-" Mikey stopped himself. He wasn't going to be a big baby now and cry to his big brothers about nearly dying. No, it wasn't their fault or responsibility. It was his alone. "I fell. You know me, I'm never careful. I'm a klutz."

Leo looked skeptical but bought it. "Alright, well Dad is coming home from the dojo, so now you've got to explain yourself." He went stern, his face becoming stoic. Like it's been since the argument...

Don backed away. "Take a shower and change. Why didn't you answer your phone?"

"Dead."

Don sighed, his little brother was being curt now? Since when was Mikey the one to stay quiet?

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yup. I got it. You guys can go to bed, I'll take to father." Mikey looked down now. Were his brothers truly okay with this? No lectures or arguments? Did they really stop caring?

Wordlessly, Leo left, dragging Don with him to their shared room.

'Wow... they hate me that much now? Who wouldn't?'

Mikey hanged his head once his brothers left. Was he that expendable?

Mikey turned away and sat at the kitchen table. Their apartment was pretty big, but not a penthouse either. They were middle class at worst, but not a higher middle class. They did couponing and their father worked at a dojo, training kids and teens martial arts. He also did senior classes, but that was about it since the senior classes were about meditation. He worked a lot, and ever since Mikey was nine years old, when the business needed increase in their father's business, Mikey's brothers did a lot of the raising.

The years in the foster system trained Mikey's brothers how to do that though. A lot of Mikey's 'beginning' childhood, when Mikey didn't remember much. He only remembered a couple of their foster homes, and then suddenly being with Mr. Hamato at age eight. His brothers, unfortunately, remember much more.

Mikey crossed his arms on the kitchen counter, remembering how much his brothers used to cherish and spoil him. He'll admit, ever since he could remember his brothers spoiled him like crazy. He had been the baby after all. Maybe that was the problem. Mikey had been so used to being the baby, now his brothers wanted him to grow up, he didn't know how. He remembered for a moment when he had made his big mistake of telling his brothers to back off and stop being 'clingy'. He wanted his brothers to give him some space, but at the same time, all he wanted anymore was for someone to hold him and tell him everything was okay.

He wanted nothing and everything at the same time.

He wanted to be alone yet have everyone spoil and love him again.

He wanted to give up on his life, but want to still fight to pass school and have a successful life.

He wanted to die, but something inside of him was screaming to try and see what tomorrow brings.

He wanted to... he didn't know what he wanted anymore.

Then, as he looked across his empty and quiet apartment he realized. He finally found the one thing he can truly say he wanted.

He wanted to his big brothers, the way they had always been.

He wanted home, not a house or apartment; home. A place where he could feel safe and happy.

But they had never had a home. So why was he going to get one now? Even when his brothers had found theirs, he just wasn't meant to get one.

Home is where one was loved, and Mikey wasn't feeling it yet. Mikey was getting sick of feeling, sick of love. Feeling just seemed to make problems worse than what they start as.

Leo sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"It hurt to do that Leo. We all know good and well he wanted someone to care for him back there, and we just left. How could we do that?" Don pushed his glasses up with his knuckles by accident as he rubbed the tears in his eyes with a finger.

Leo frowned. "We're doing what he wanted."

"But it's not what he wants anymore! He made a mistake Leo, c'mon. We all make them." Don gave an upset face, as Leo sat next to him, the bed going down. He clearly was not happy with this predicament. Then again, neither was Leo or Raph for that matter.

"Tha kid's learnin' a lesson Don. Ah don' like it eitha. But tha knucklehead needs it. Plus, we're teachin' 'im that he can't jus' get away wit' that kinda attitude."

"Raph's right, as much as I don't like this new way of treating Mike, he needs to grow up at one point. Look at his grades, his childish behavior, the ditching classes and now this. Coming home late at night? It's teenage rebellion and even though we can handle Raph here," At this, Leo got a sharp elbow to the ribs, he decided to ignore the radiating pain though, "Mikey still needs reinforcement. This could be good for him and shape him to be more... independent."

"But what if we're doing this wrong? What if we're hurting him instead of helping him?" Don still didn't like this idea...

"We stop it. But I know Mikey's tough, he can do it. Plus, this is Mikey here. He'll come to us when he's hurting. He always has, does, and I bet he will." Leo comfortably rubbed Don's tense shoulders.

Sighing, Don caved. But something in his mind was screaming at him, flashing red lights, saying this was a bad punishment. "Fine. Maybe I do spoil him too much..."

"We all do, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Just means you love him, that's always good."

"Ah don't spoil 'im." Raph protested.

"Mmmhmm." Leo went, making Don laugh.

"Whateva. 'Night."

And with that, the three older brothers parted ways, not realizing how much their baby brother had changed. What they did was out of love. Sadly, sometimes love can just worsen situations, not fix them.

As Leonardo pulled up to the police station, he found himself struggling to control his anger and frustration.

'He's done it again.', Leo thought sardonically.

"Raph?"

"Yup, here he is."

They were on a first-name basis at this point.

The walk to the car was dead quiet. Raph wouldn't dare to try Leo with that look on his face.

As soon as they were in the car though, it was everything but quiet.

"Raphael, how many times have I told you to stop getting in trouble." He started in a low voice, terrifyingly calm.

'Uh oh...' Raph swallowed thickly at the thought of what Leo would do to him this time. Burying the fear and sucking it up, Raph began to state his case; even though he knew it would fall on deaf ears. "Leo... Dis time Ah swear, it wos nuthin' in mah control. A'ight? Ah saw some poor kid who needed help Leo, whattdaya want me ta do? Let 'im get hurt by some thugs?"

"Raphael, what am I going to do with you? You're lucky I got the phone, and not father. But you're still in huge trouble. But answer my question first; How many times have I told you to stop getting in trouble?"

'Wow, so he ain't goin' ta let that question go, huh?'

"Um, 'bout five times dis month?"

"Yes, and what happened each time that causes me to repeatedly tell you this?"

Swallowing thickly again, Raph gripped his knee in anxiousness.

"Ah get mahself in trouble."

"Yes."

Leo gave a death glare to the road as he drove. His hands had a white-hot grip on the wheel and he was grinding his teeth so hard, Raph was surprised he didn't have short teeth by now.

"But-"

"You have to understand Raph, if you keep getting in trouble, you'll get father in trouble! This stuff goes on record, and they're going to put together the pieces. Why is it now that you're with this man, that you're getting into so much more trouble? Huh? They think about this stuff Raph! They'll start thinking something's wrong at home! Do you want to go back to the foster system? Since father legally adopted us now, we have to be careful! The law blames the parents for things like this!" Leo paused, running a hand through his hair and not catching the look of guilt on Raph's face.

"I know you get angry," Leo halted as they reached a red light, "And- and I know going out and rebelling is your way of releasing it. So as to not do something you'll regret." When Leo caught a glimpse of Raph's face, he knew he hit the head on the nail. "You're afraid of hurting one of us. But Raph, there has to be another way of releasing it. Stay home, find something, go to a class; anything! Just stop getting in trouble. Please."

Leo was driving again and there was silence for about 20 minutes. Raph didn't know what to say to that, and they were almost home anyway.

"I get it. You-"

"Ya don' get shit, Leo! Stop thinkin' ya know everythin'! Ya don'! Yer not me, yer Mr. Perfect! Yer Fearless, ya ain't me! So, stop pretendin' ta be!" Raph's outburst caused more silence. He sat looking out the window, trying to ignore his big brother's presence.

"You're right, I'm not you." Leo started softly, glancing at Raph in his peripheral vision for a minute, before sighing and continuing. "I never will get what you feel Raphael. But I can tell you I understand that you're angry and hurt and scared. Maybe I can't feel it exactly and know why, word for word, but I know you're feeling it. And it's okay to feel." Raph scoffed and rolled his eyes towards the window. He didn't need to hear this shit.

In Raph's world, no one could feel what he felt, or even something remotely close to it. He hated that. He hated the loneliness because he was alone in feeling. He hated that he got so angry all the time. He hated that he almost killed his youngest brother this morning with a pipe. He hated that no one could understand him, heck, he couldn't even understand himself.

"Whateva." That's all Raph could defend himself with. He was just happy he got off easier with Leo than normal. It was probably because he got into a fight with good intentions this time, instead of getting into a fight just to blow off some steam like he typically did.

"I mean it Raph."

"Sure."

Leo sighed and focused on driving and the minute they were home, Raph bolted. Getting inside and taking every pathway to avoid Leo. He took the stairs instead of the elevator with Leo and rushed himself to his room before he could have a chance to bump into him. All Leo could do was hope he was doing this thing right. Because if Leo had to say two things about himself that were fake, it was that he was Perfect or wasn't perfect because he wasn't good enough to raise his three little brothers right when they didn't have a father figure for that, like they do now. He wasn't fearless because every day the 16-year-old woke up with a new worry he was afraid to face, a new fear that he tried to run from.

This face of perfectness or bravery was hard to keep up, and it was beginning to show itself in Leonardo. Maybe not for them, but for himself. But everything Leonardo was doing, he was doing out of love. That made it all worth it, right?

No, Leo wasn't fearless or perfect. But he'd pretend to be, if it's what his little brothers needed.

A/N:

Please review! Reviews are writer candy! I love reading your guys' comments! They're so motivating to finish the story, lol ;P