Author's Note: This is how I imagine one of their many breakups taking place early in their relationship. By the way, this is pure Bristen fiction. If you do not like stories of this nature please don't read. I'm really not trying to offend anyone. Thank all of you for the lovely reviews!
"I can't do this anymore."
"What?" Chip's voice is barely above a whisper because he knows what she means and wants her to say it so his mind can accept what his heart already knows.
"This..." She says it through a cracked voice and tear stained cheeks. "...us."
"You don't mean that." It comes out angrier than he anticipates and he cringes at the thought of hurting her more than he already has.
She can't bring herself to reply immediately at the fear of the dam holding back all of her uncontrollable tears breaking and him seeing the real aftermath of what they had done. What he had put her through these last few months.
He wants to grab her, hold her, tell her everything is fine but they both know it isn't and the last thing she wants is for him to touch her right now. It's also the only thing she wants but she knows it will only make this more difficult.
Connie takes a deep breath before responding. "I don't."
"You don't what, baby?"
"I don't mean that. I don't mean any of this but I can't anymore. We can't."
"We don't have to." He assures her. He doesn't know what else to say to make the tears stop.
She nods in acknowledgement, tears still streaming down her face as she wipes them away. "I'm sorry. I thought I could. I really thought I could." The words she isn't saying are what they already know.
She thought she could do a no strings attached thing with him. Be okay with him leaving her at the end of the day. She isn't. The longer they keep this up the harder it's becoming for them both.
"No, I'm sorry. For everything."
He had been the one to pursue her. He had kissed her first. Bridged the gap between fiction and reality. Pushed it until they finally broke. She knew the consequences and she welcomed them. She claimed she wasn't scared but what he said last night terrified her. "I'll leave." That's the last thing she wanted. She wasn't a homewrecker.
"You can't leave for me".
"Is that what this is about? Wouldn't that be a good thing?" He didn't understand.
"Dammit, Chip! Don't you see that there isn't anything good about any of this?"
As soon as the words leave her mouth she knows they're a lie. The way he made her feel when she didn't feel like this was good. The way his hands felt on her body was good. The way his mouth...the way he loved her... In the end though, the circumstances couldn't have been worse.
She sometimes wondered what it would have been like had they met when they were younger before commitment had been a question. Sometimes she wondered what it would have been like to never know him at all. And sometimes, only sometimes, did she let her mind wonder about what it would be like if he left for her.
"I don't know what else to do. What do you want from me?"
"Not this." Her words are steady, she had somehow finally ran out of tears. "I don't want anything you can give me. I don't want to never get all of you and I don't want you to leave for me."
His voice lowers and she can swear she's never seen such fear in his eyes. "Where does that leave us?"
That's the question she'd asked herself every night he went home. Every day after set. After every kiss, look and touch. She never liked the answer but now was the time to face it.
She places her hand on his and looks in his eyes. "Here for the last time."