Hello...
First I want to thank all those people who read my story; It is amazing the support I have had. Thank you very much indeed, means a lot to me that they like my story. I really thank all who have encouraged me to continue this story.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think.
A big hug. Kisses, blessings and good vibes for everyone.
No beta. If someone knows someone who wants to help me being my beta, please write me
Disclaimer: I don´t own Iron man.
Dreaming of her
The band fell from his eyes and it was as if he woke from a dream, one that had lasted for years.
He opened his eyes clouded by the darkness and realized how silly he had been.
He tried so hard to live to the fullest, that he forgot to focus on the small details, to appreciate the good things that life had.
He thought she would give up everything for him in a moment, in every situation, no matter what he did. That was something he was clear about. That was his first mistake, a common mistake.
He thought that his present would continue as he wanted it, that what he had with her was eternally secure. That was his second mistake.
When he began to take her for granted, he failed to see the true importance of everything that surrounded her. He stopped striving for what he wanted and turned his face and heart to the true essence of life and love.
He was never fatalistic, but he was too blind to understand how fragile the thread of his happiness could be.
Only, when he finally understood, it was too late.
Why did she have to forget everything the moment he understood?
Unfortunately, no one warned him that eternal regret is the cost of good times.
And now that's all he did… regret.
His mind could only conjure a phrase: Say what you mean when you have the feeling and the opportunity. Tomorrow could be too late.
And Dear God, he was late.
His steps were slow, tired. The overcoat that he held on his body for a while (just because it smelled like her) now clung to the chair by the window.
His hands rested on his knees as he sat down on the couch.
Seraph purred a couple of times near him, but slunk away after realizing that his footsteps did not sound like that of his mistress.
Now even Pepper's cat seemed to hate him.
Guilty. He listened in his mind.
Guilty. He felt the pang in his heart.
Tony frowned, went back to doing his best to not think about Pepper Potts.
And failing miserably.
To his luck the dream reached him. Or not.
"You do not fool anybody here, Tony boy". The voice was making fun of him.
Her lips were the first thing he saw, red and full of lies and truths.
Lies that fall in love. Truths that hurt the hearts of the unfortunate souls who have had the fleeting joy of falling into her web of passion.
Her hair was tied up, a simple headdress atop her head. Her green silk dress brushed the floor. And she was there looking dangerously sinful.
A Woman. Christine Everhart
Tony did not answer. He just waited for the sarcastic remark he knew would come from her.
"Fool. You take her for granted."
Her lips curved into a satisfied smile as she saw his perfect façade fall into a grimace.
"Did I ask your opinion?"
"Really?" she asked in an ironic tone.
Tony looked at her in bewilderment, so the woman turned to look at his beautiful brown eyes. "What happened, Romeo? Too much for the girl?"
"That is none of your concern". He replied, keeping his voice down.
Christine let out a bubbly laugh.
"So this is what it's going to be then? Are you just going to keep lying to yourself?" She put her hands on either side of Tony.
"Shut up." Tony snapped waspishly.
His movement was quick, placing two paces between them. She simply nodded, disappointed.
"You should have a sign of mood swings."
His answer was accompanied by a grimace. "You have the gift of getting the worst of me."
She laughed and his level of discomfort only increased. "You know I find your distaste for me, really funny." She smiled.
He pouted.
"Well, you can never have everything you want, Mr. Stark."
"But I always have what I want." he declared.
"This shows that it is not so." Her voice was full of caution. "There will come a day when your little bubble will burst." Christine gave him a sad look. "And I'm sure your beautiful Pepper." – her voice filled with disdain and bitterness when she pronounced the nickname – "will not be there for you. She'll run the farthest away from you. Why, that's what everybody does, Tony. Leave you."
If the woman had hit him in the face, it would have hurt less.
Because what she was saying was true, he did take Pepper for granted. He did. For years. Nothing could change that fact, nor erase it. That fact perhaps made it worse. Now he could play with each of his memories, examine them, and see what he did wrong. How he hurt her and how he thought she was nothing more than an ordinary woman. Just a means to an end.
"She'll run the farthest away from you."
That's what he deserved.
"You're thinking about it right now, aren't you?" asked Natasha slyly.
Natasha. The spy, the friend, his friend.
Her next words were filled with sincerity that he rarely heard. "You don't have to believe her."
He let out a sigh. His gaze shifted from the couch to her.
For a moment he closed his eyes. "You always manage to catch me at my lowest point."
Nat took a step forward, and reached out to squeeze Tony's hand.
"I have always seen you as you are." she said. "In the good and bad moments." Her touch was warm and had am oddly calming effect on him. "You are an incredibly intelligent man, for the most part. And absurdly blind other times." She let out a laugh. "But you are Tony Stark and I like you."
His eyes softened, as he gave her a tender smile. "Thank you, Nat."
"Well, look at that. The Grinch's heart just grew three sizes today."
"Maybe two." He looked at her as he joked. "My ego is not as careless as yours."
She looked at him for a long moment. Tony could almost swear she was just waiting for another of his comments. Or maybe she was analysing him.
"There are things that never change."
Nat smiled, instinctively wrapped her arms around his figure. Just when she realized Tony's gesture was difficult and she was about to set him free, he embraced her again. Maybe it was tiredness, or maybe it was just an excuse, but he needed a friendly hug.
"Why are you hugging me?" he asked finally.
"What can I say? I'm an educated woman." She smiled. "The situation merited a courtesy."
Nat didn't remove her eyes from Tony's face.
"You broke your promise," she said without emotion. And he knew that she has hit the nail on his unspoken question.
That truth has been told.
His eyes were filled with so much pain that was almost tangible.
She shook her head in disagreement. "It's not your fault. God knows you're everywhere, but you still cannot stop someone from getting hurt. Accidents happen."
He was a disastrous fire that burned in his chest, devouring something he thought was devoid of his heart. For the first time in his life he felt like a fish out of the water that struggled to breathe, drowning endlessly. He never felt this pain, never in his life. He used to think of himself as an empty glass without feelings at all, but right now he was filled to the brim with terror, pain, regret, guilt…
Guilty. He listened in his mind.
Guilty. He felt the pang in his heart.
"She would not have gone that night if it wasn't for me, Nat." He ran a hand through his hair, trying to regain some control over the situation. "She almost died for me, for my stupid pride."
"No, no." She shook her head, and he was too relieved to question how it was possible for Nat to appear in his dreams just to help him.
Nat's voice interrupted his thoughts. "Listen to me, you idiot. You are in no way guilty of what happened to Pepper. She got hurt, that is the reality. But I am not allowing you to give up! Stop pitying yourself." She stated pointing his chest with one of her perfectly made nails. "You have a new opportunity to do well everything you did wrong. And dear Lord, was those are a lot of things."
Tony let out a sad smile. "You are relentless, Natasha Romanoff. It is impossible to say not to you."
She smiled smugly. "Alright, I would not want to go back and have to kick your slim back. Dreams or not." She took a minute and then added. "Well, look, Tony, I suppose your package includes an eternal curse of being a toxic idiot, and the inability to have normal relationships. But it also includes an intelligent man, an emotional man, who has so much affection to give that he is sitting in the couch of his girlfriend's apartment, asking for the help, to win her back. Someone kind, someone brave, who is not afraid to die for those he loves. Someone who has a heart of gold. Someone who is becoming the best version of himself, every day that passes, just for her. That's all you have to remember, Tony Stark."
He turned to look at her, a few tears escaping from his eyes, but she was already gone.
Tony ran down the hall. He stopped three feet away from her and caught his breath.
Her silhouette shone between the dim light and the dark, and made her look like an ethereal angel.
An angel who brought light once into his life, but left leaving him alone in total darkness.
The angel who always overwhelmed him.
The angel turned around and smiled. A bright smile. One of those smiles Tony knew.
The smile spread across the angel´s face as he watched her. Her hair was wrapped in a ponytail, as usual, and she was wearing one of the his T- shirts. He smiled to the view.
He liked it. He liked her smile that brightens everything with her light.
He liked everything about her.
Over the years, she had become something that he wanted to have. She was like a Rubik's cube that he could not solve. He liked that about her. He could not help it. It was as if she were a magnet that his eyes were drawn.
She smiled again. Pepper waited for him to stop panting. He did, lifting his head and simply gazing back at her, not saying anything.
"What have you been doing all this time?" Her voice tormented his sanity, threatening his heart like a bishop to the king in a great game of chess.
"Waiting for you," he whispered and she noticed how his beautiful brown eyes shone with an unusual tone.
"Something's wrong." Her words were soft. Full of worry that he did not want her to have. He did not seem to tarnish the sight of her in his mind.
He wanted to lie, but even lying to her here made him feel terribly wrong.
"It's my fault?" Pepper asked without looking.
He knew that it was a topic that he had evaded only a few hours ago, but a part of his brain urged him to tell her the truth.
"No, it's not you. I just feel that you'll fade away and I do not want that. I do not want to think that I'm living a dream...
"Shh. Don't say that." Pepper looked at him, her eyes bright as candles. And that sensation seized him, that flame that burned inside him the moment his angel's blue eyes fixed on him as if he were the most beautiful person on the planet. That flame burned his chest, made his skin rise to an impossibly high temperature. He did not respond, but his heart still beat rapidly.
"I'm here. I will not go anywhere, not without you." She took his hand.
He didn't say anything to that. Sometimes they don't need words. He'd never really been good at words anyway.
"Tony," she breathed. But he was not ready to talked about it.
"You always have me."
She stroked his hand with her fingertips. It was so gentle and soft. His mother used to do that to help him fall asleep.
No, wait. That was not true.
He could see it now. And it was all his own fault.
Tony felt his throat begin to constrict. "I'm so, so sorry." he said earnestly, seeking forgiveness in those eyes.
"I know."
Tony sighed. "I am sorry for being rude to you on many occasions." He blinked, and then scowled as if disappointed with himself. "I must admit that you have done nothing but treat me very well for years and I have repaid you by being a jerk".
Her gaze had a touch of comfort he did not expect, but he welcomed it anyway.
Pepper was his lighthouse, and he was desperate to see her light again.
"Tony, I have loved you for years. And for all that time, I knew that somewhere inside that cold, lifeless exterior, there had an actual human soul." She pointed to him for emphasis. "Uh-huh, and that once you were done pretending to be a jerk, you would eventually go off and show me the amazing man that I knew you were."
Pepper, his perfect and beautiful PA/CEO/girlfriend took a deep breath. "You did. I saw you. The real you. I saw behind the jerk boss. I saw the empty shell of the boy; the lonely, misunderstood teenager; the intelligent man who was only looking for answers. I fell for every part of him, every defect, every smile, every look, and every cruel grimace." She placed her free hand on his cheek, her touch a gentle feather's brush. "Because when you love someone, you love every part of them. You love the good and the bad, no matter what. I fell for you, Tony, I fell hard, and that means I love you. And I believe I always will do." Her words became velvety caresses that covered his heart. "Don´t be afraid. I have always thought we had this sort of connection. Unspoken, of course." Pepper laughed. "I will see you. The real you. And I will love you forever."
It felt so good to have her back, like when he put the last piece of the puzzle in the right place and the image he tried so hard to build is complete.
He leaned his forehead against hers. His eyes looked close to storms, but he did not release her. He seemed reluctant to truly let her go.
"I love you, Pepper Potts." he whispered, and she noticed how his beautiful eyes shone with a unique tone.
"My mind was doing everything to erase you, for years, but it failed. You told me you loved me when I thought no one would, and I fell in love with you when you thought I never would. I could not love you the way you want me to, but that does not mean it's not love now."
She nodded, understanding his words. The fingers of her other hand were like wind in his hair, gently combing through the rebellious curls to calm him.
"Just not be so jerk this time. Please!"
"They've told you that you're very smart, Pepper."
"Not recently, but I hope it serves your purpose."
"You fought for me all these years, now it's my turn to return the favour."
Her voice was soft, almost childish. "Well, if you don´t do it, I swear I'll be mad at you."
His eyes were full of determination just like his words. "I will not rest until you come back again. I swear I'll make you fall in love with me. And this time will be different."
She tickled his arms with her soft fingers. "I'll be very angry if you do not kiss me now."
He did not need to be told twice.
Her lips brushed against his slowly. The sensation of butterflies fluttering in her stomach built up gradually as Tony laid his hands on Pepper's waist, drawing her towards him, kissing her lips softly, tracing them like glass. He would have to win her love in reality, but now he had it next to him and that was the only thing that mattered. The kiss was short, tender, when they opened their eyes, both were flushed with broken breaths.
Her smile widened considerably.
"You're doing very well," she encouraged.
Tony pulled her to him once more, placing a chaste kiss on her forehead.
He dared to close his eyes for the first time in her presence.
He felt content, complete.
It was a perfect time.
He just needed to do it in real life.
He was ready to repair his failures, to remove everything from his life that had ever hurt Pepper. He knew that it was not easy, he knew he needed the time and trust to create new bonds with her. Bonds that would endure and become signs of affection.
He still had an uncomfortable fear. It was the fear of loss. It was the fear of falling headfirst into the game of love and losing. It was the fear of crying again, of wanting to laugh, and of lying while wanting to tell the truth.
But Tony was a man who loved risks. He was an adventurer who had lost everything, and who relied fully on his ability to create a good scheme. He did not act like he used to do, because he had matured. He had learned from his mistakes, and now he had an immense advantage: Pepper's love finally belonged to him.
Until…
His meow very close to his ear and his scratches returned him to reality. Away from his dream, away from her.
Damn it.
His words were cold, angry. "I know a very large dog. I'll introduce you two one day".
Seraph stopped scratching him. He gave Tony an overly complex look for a cat.
"I'm not kidding," he said. This only made the cat meow stronger.
TBC...
If you take time to read, you please take the time to comment. Let me know what you think.
I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter.
I invite you to read my others stories.