Chapter 4 – Everything I Do
Their feet barely touched the floor of the observatory when Thor spoke.
"Why did you bring us back?"
His words bit into the still air with an edge, but Odin's rage made Thor's seem a sputtering insignificant thing. "Do you realize what you've done?" the Allfather demanded. He slapped Sleipnir's reins into the palm of a waiting einherjar. "What you've started?"
"I was protecting our home," Thor growled, taking a step toward his father, his jaw clenching as Odin pulled Heimdall's sword from the control pedestal and tossed it at the Gate Keeper. Heimdall caught the blade and, with a submissive bow, followed the royal guard out with the silver stallion.
"You can't even protect your brother! How do you expect to protect the kingdom?" Odin's gaze shifted to Loki. Braced between Volstagg and Fandral, and unable to stand under his own power, the second prince grew more pallid. Blood limned the seam of his mouth.
"There won't be a kingdom to protect if you're afraid to act!"
Odin growled. His voice erupted, deep and guttural and echoing in the expanse of the gleaming Observatory. "Get him to a Healing Room! Now!"
The Warriors Three complied beneath Odin's scrutiny. Sif lingered at the archway of the observatory. She looked at Thor, his attention riveted to the Allfather.
"The jotnar must learn to fear me as they once feared you!" He held his golden head high, proud shoulders squared, stance defiant. Thor stood by his decision. He did not watch them leave. He did not look at the blood pooled near his feet.
But a mist formed in his eyes, and his fists clenched until the knuckles turned into white pearls. He saw it, she knew. He felt it. She would find him later, in the twilight hours, blunting his guilt in a mead hall. Then he would leave her to blunder into Lyfjaberg and, despite the healers' protests, fall asleep on the floor of whatever room Loki will be placed. That was Thor's way.
The Allfather did not speak until Loki left his sight.
"That's pride and vanity talking!" Odin finally snapped. "Not leadership! Have you forgotten everything I've taught you? What about a warrior's patience?"
Sif left the room.
Outside, she found her companions with a detachment of einherjar. Volstagg sat in his saddle as Fandral and Hogun helped ease Loki to the stronger warrior. His bay gelding pawed nervously, the blood scent triggering flight instinct. It obeyed Volstagg regardless.
"You intend to ride?" Sif said. "He is dead weight. It will not be easy."
"He'll be dead before I reach the Hill if I walk."
With the prince secured between his thick arms, Volstagg adjusted his reins.
"Hurry," was all Hogun said. The mighty warrior nodded and with a flick of the reins and deft press of his heels, he raced down the bridge flanked by two mounted einherjar, light pulsing beneath each hoof beat.
The rest waited with the horses. Listening to the rise and swell of two powerful voices. The einherjar stared solemnly at the three companions but said nothing, asked nothing. The guard standing with Sleipnir coughed. The Bifrost activated. Odin came out alone.
Sif found the Warriors Three in Fandral's apartments, seated around the hearth fire despite the approaching dawn. Volstagg rubbed at the black necrosis blighting his skin. He did not eat. Cups of mead sat on the side tables, condensation pooling at the base of the mugs.
"How fares your arm?" Sif asked.
"As ugly as it is, it is healing fast. I can already feel the itch of new skin. How is…?"
"Eir is confident," Sif answered quickly. "Though I doubt she would dare tell the queen otherwise."
"What a mess this is," Fandral said. He picked up his mug and did not drink. "One prince banished. The other…"
"We should never have gone," Volstagg stated.
Sif sighed. She swallowed a tight lump in her throat. "There was no stopping him."
"At least he's only banished and not dead," Fandral offered. "Which is what we'd all be if that guard hadn't told Odin where we'd gone."
She wanted to forget that bit. They danced the knife's edge, pushing the boundaries of their skill, constantly testing their limits. Each suffered their wounds, spent their times on the Hill.
They never needed Odin to save them from their own folly. The wound to her pride only made the loss sting all the worse.
"How did the guard even know?" Volstagg asked.
They lapsed into contemplation. Did it really matter? Thor was gone. It was not the guard's fault.
"Loki," Hogun said. They all regarded him. He did not speak often.
"What?" Sif asked. Perhaps it did matter.
"I saw him speak to the young aesir in the stable yard. I thought nothing of it at the time."
"He told the guard?" Sif repeated. Hope fluttered in her chest.
"Should we be surprised?" Fandral asked. "I mean, really?"
"Do you think," Sif started. She considered her words carefully, making certain she believed in the possibility before she said the words out loud. "Do you think that all this was by his design?"
Fandral frowned. "Sif…"
"He has always been jealous of Thor."
"Yes. And he also saved our lives," Volstagg said. "We should be grateful."
"Laufey said there were traitors in the House of Odin," Hogun said.
Fandral chuffed a laugh. "Why is it every time you choose to speak it has to be something dark and ominous?"
"A master of magic could easily bring three jotnar into Asgard," Hogun reasoned.
"No!" Volstagg said. "Surely not!"
Fandral shook his head. "Loki's always been one for mischief, but you're talking about something else entirely."
Damn the two of them for being so blind.
"Who else could elude Heimdall's gaze with tricks of light and shadow?" Sif asked.
"So because Loki is the only one we know of then he must be guilty? Do you hear yourself, Sif?"
"Think about the Coronation," she pressed on. "The timing of that interruption was too perfect." Loki planned all of this. None of that mess on Jotunheim need lay upon Thor's shoulders. Not truly. She could stop feeling…. He could come home.
It was easier to blame Loki.
"Seems a bit much for a prank. He almost died in my arms! I doubt I'll ever get the blood out of my leathers."
"We should still go to the Allfather," Sif continued.
"And tell him what?" Fandral demanded. He rose from his seat. "'Oh, good-day Allfather! We think your son betrayed the throne. Evidence? Why, we have none! What? We need evidence to accuse a prince of the Realm Eternal of treason? Pah! How about you go gather that for us, hmm? Oh, and do us a favor. Bring back Thor. There's a good fellow!'"
Fandral had a flare for melodramatic tirades.
"It's our duty," Sif persisted. "If our suspicions are correct, then all of Asgard is in danger."
Sif found the queen on the Hill of Healing, in the private rooms, conversing quietly with Eir. Loki laid on a recovery bed between them. He looked paler than even Sif was comfortable with, his wounds covered with runed bandages and caked with mystical powders. Tools used to snare magic. Eir noted his progress, murmuring her findings to her mousy little novice, all while waxing nostalgic with Frigga.
Queen Frigga sat at Loki's side, golden hands clasped around one of his. What the queen saw in this one, why she favored him, Sif would never understand. Her eldest banished to the barbaric world of Midgard, and instead of pleading his case, the queen sat here in vigil over the unworthy.
"I want to be here when he wakes," she explained, as if reading the warrior's thoughts. She looked so tired. "Almost two days now. His injuries were…."
"Extensive," Eir supplied. "But I assure you, my friend, he will not wake until I allow it. His recovery goes smoother this way."
"How much longer?"
"He heals quickly, all things considered. Perhaps tomorrow."
Frigga leaned over, stroking his dark hair. "His connection continues to serve him well."
Eir nodded in agreement. "I assume it is the only reason he survived the journey here."
They remained silent for a long moment, contemplating their little observation as only spinners of seidhr were want to do. Sif again thanked the Norns she had sense enough to choose war over weavings. She cleared her throat.
"Oh. Forgive me. Good day, Lady Sif," Queen Frigga said. Her voice warmed with a smile. "To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?"
Sif dropped to a knee, her fist over her heart. She hesitated for but a second.
"Good day my queen. I hoped to speak with you in confidence. It is a matter of state."
Frigga and Eir exchanged glances. Then, the healer said, "I have to make my rounds. I will check back in a while." She and the novice bobbed fleeting curtsies and left. Frigga looked to Sif, one hand still resting upon her son's.
Sif swallowed as she stood. She felt more at ease charging into battle.
"I apologize for laying this burden upon you. I had hoped to bring this matter to the Allfather, but now that he has fallen into the sleep…"
"Yes, it was sudden," Frigga said. "We were unprepared. But fear not. Asgard will not remain rudderless for much longer."
"That is what I fear my queen. I suspect Thor to be the victim of the highest treason."
The queen's brow furrowed. "Treason? Please, Lady Sif, explain."
"This will be difficult to put to words. Please, forgive me. I believe that Loki brought the jotnar into Asgard… to ruin Thor's coronation."
The Queen stared at Sif. A muscle in her jaw fluttered.
"Don't you see?" Sif implored. She glanced briefly at Loki, and then looked Frigga in her blue blue eyes. "His jealousy has corrupted him. Loki tempted Thor into transgressing against the jotnar, which led to Thor's quarrel with the Allfather."
"So, Thor's banishment is Loki's fault?"
"Yes, my queen."
Frigga's gaze drifted to Loki's face. She blinked a few times, but remained silent for a long while. Sif noticed the queen's hand tightening around Loki's. Then, she drew in a breath and her back straightened. Frigga spoke, her tone measured, steady and even.
The question came, just as Fandral predicted. "I am ready to hear your evidence."
"It is but suspicion at this time, my queen. It was Loki who informed the guard of our journey to Jotunheim. And Heimdall is certain that the jotnar were cloaked from his sight. It is no secret that your son is a master of illusions and trickery."
Frigga stifled a small huff of laughter. "As am I, my dear. Loki has ever been my student."
"But… your Grace," Sif stammered. "With all due respect, you are not one for childish pranks played out of jealous spite."
"You're right. He has always grown in the shadow of Thor. Can you honestly tell me, Lady Sif, that you have never been jealous in all your years?"
"I swear, my queen, I never have."
The queen turned her attention back to her son.
"Then I pray to the Norns you never do," she said softly. "I understand and appreciate that you worry for Thor. You have always been a steadfast companion, as good a friend to my son as any mother could dare hope for."
"Thank you, my queen…"
"So I shall forgive this insult."
Sif's brow ached from the weight of her frown. "My queen, I…"
"You dare come into this room, at this time, to level such an accusation?" Frigga demanded. Though her voice did not rise above a conversational hum, Sif heard the steel beneath each syllable. "I know that Loki does not think or behave as you perceive an aesir ought. I understand that his sense of humor and tricks were a cause of irritation in your youth and that he sowed mistrust with you. But to blame him for Thor's own foolishness is unjust."
"But if he allowed the breach…"
"Is my son the only sorcerer in all the Nine? Does he alone have a connection to seidhr?"
Sif wanted, stubbornly, to argue that he alone would dare. "No, on both counts."
"Did he force Thor, or any of you, to go to Jotunheim?"
"No."
"Did he draw first blood?"
"No."
"And most important of all, Lady Sif. Has Loki ever betrayed Thor?"
Sif grit her teeth. "No," she ground out. Not really. She hoped she did not sound a petulant child, though she certainly felt the urge to argue the matter. She felt his guilt in the pit of her gut.
"Then, if ever you bore my sons any love, put this foolishness from your mind. My son will wake to find himself alone with a kingdom upon his shoulders. He will need the help of his companions if he is to keep Asgard together."
"Will you request that he bring Thor back?"
Frigga did not even look at her. "I will not."
"But… I don't understand."
The Queen smiled weakly. "What, do you suppose, will Odin do if he wakes and finds that Loki overturned his decision?"
Sif paused. The scenario, built upon the experience of the last day, did not end well for either son. She had not considered anything beyond returning Thor to where he belonged. The throne, Asgard, were his and his alone.
"No," Frigga continued. "I will not lead Loki into conflict with his father. I have done what I could. I pleaded mercy… and when the Allfather refused rest assured I let my displeasure be known. There is naught else to do."
"So that's it? We do nothing? We just… accept it."
"We can have faith."
"Faith?" Sif tested the word. As a woman of action, she hated the taste. "While Thor suffers?"
"I know," Frigga said. She pulled her eyes away from her precious dark son. "I know this seems cruel. I never would have leveled such a harsh punishment on one of my children. But Odin is wise. Everything he does is for a purpose. We must trust in his wisdom and have faith that Thor will find his way."
Sun poured in through the skylights, warming the throne room and setting the gold cloaks of the several dozen stationed einherjar aglow. Uncountable petitioners and nobles scurried amongst the proud columns and life continued in Asgard as though the Allfather himself sat the throne. Thor's banishment forgotten by the people with a swift coronation.
The usurper wasted no time.
Their turn came. A guard escorted the four companions to the bottom of the dais and left them to stand before Loki. Gungnir in hand, there remained no doubt the queen and council willingly conceded to him. The golden spear seemed too perfect next to the second son's finery, all verdant green and enchanted gold.
"The king will hear your petition," a herald prompted.
"My king," Sif managed, lowering herself to one knee, her hand fisted over her heart. The Warriors Three echoed her movements.
"Ah. Lady Sif. You're here about Thor's banishment, yes?"
She prepared herself to beg. Now that she stood before Loki, sprawled out upon the High Seat, looking much too comfortable, her resolve faded. She could not bear to grant him the satisfaction. And yet…
"We request that you overturn the Allfather's decree. Please, sire, end Thor's banishment."
He cocked his head as though considering the innocent request of a child. "My first act as king cannot be to undo the Allfather's last, my lady." He brought a pale hand up and rested it upon his chest. "We are on the brink of war with Jotunheim. Our people need a sense of continuity if they are to feel safe during these troubled times."
She frowned. He waited only a beat before speaking again.
"This banishment is not without provisions. Have some faith, dear Sif."
"Provisions?" she asked. He smiled indulgently.
"Yes," Loki said. "If Thor can prove his worth to the Allfather's albeit vague standards, he can return home and reclaim his title."
"To what standard?"
"As I said, they are rather vague. My mother supposes it concerns the perfecting of Thor's rough character. Kindness, humility, patience…"
Yes, Frigga mentioned something about Thor finding his way.
"Thor is not one for thinking through obstacles," Fandral said. "He breaks them."
Loki's smile widened.
"Fandral has a point," Volstagg added. "This is perhaps a bit..."
"Harsh?" Loki suggested. His smile withered. "Do you not recall how belligerent he was in Jotunheim? My brother needs this lesson."
"Fine," Sif said, her voice tightening. "You allow him to take this punishment and learn. Must he do it alone? Could we not help him? Offer him protection or advice? Anything?"
Hogun spoke up: "We've always been at his side."
"My friends, clearly I have more faith in my brother than any of you."
"He's right. This is Thor," Volstagg boomed. "The Thunderer! We should allow him some time to succeed at this challenge. He's faced worse, and won."
"But he's mortal now," Sif said. "He could die before he even locates Mjolnir."
Loki's brow furrowed. She wanted to see it as concern.
"The Allfather did not say he had to do it alone…" the second prince conceded.
"We could ask Heimdall to keep an eye on him."
"Oh, I assure you, my loyal Gatekeeper is already doing that," Loki said, his voice laced with a deprecation that ill fit the words. "The real question is whether or not he has sworn any additional oaths to keep us from interfering."
"You're the king now," Fandral ventured. "Heimdall might allow you through?"
Sif stifled a groan. Sending Loki to help would be akin to having a wolf guard a babe.
"Perhaps… though I feel it a disservice to Thor."
"Thor's honor could be at stake," Hogun muttered.
"How long are you willing to wait, then?" Sif demanded, not taking her eyes off Loki's lean frame. She looked for any tells.
"He could be back tomorrow for all we know," the prince said.
"But if he isn't?"
"It has been 6 days…" Loki had the grace to look troubled. "He should have been back by now." His thumb worried at his upper lip, lost in thought. Sif could smell a victory. She prodded, cautiously.
"We should at least make certain he is safe."
It still came as a pleasant surprise when Loki nodded his submission.
"You're right," he said.