ANDROMEDA'S POINT OF VIEW
written by Verity
Disclaimer: All characters belong to JKR.
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Andromeda could feel her sister's touch, her arms hesitantly wrapping around her in a hug. While at first, it had frozen her but she couldn't help but to embrace it willingly. Cissy, Teddy-- they were the only family she had left. Sirius, the only other Black member that had accepted her for who she was and not shunned her for marrying the love of her life, had passed away just two years before all of this. He was the second Black to go after Regulus, and then... Bellatrix. Bellatrix who had willingly killed her own blood, her own family. Had she too been the very one to kill Andie's daughter? Had she tortured her with the cruciatus curse... or worse? The cruciatus was one of Bella's specialties, after all. She had learned to master it well, and only a real, true guiltless wizard could do so. At the thought of her one and only daughter being tortured senseless by Andie's own sister, pain attacked her at all angles again. She felt anger at Bellatrix as she couldn't help but to suspect that her own sister had been the very cause of her current pain. A sob escaped her lips, her tears dripping incessantly on Narcissa's shoulder, the bare wooden floor, and her hands around Andie's younger sister as they embraced each other in a tight hug. "I'm sorry," she heard leaving Narcissa's lips. She needn't repeat it, Andromeda had already taken her word for it. The two Black daughters had gone through so much as children, and now had had to endure the deaths of loved ones-- no doubt, Andromeda having lost much more.
"I'm sorry," Andie heard Cissa say the words yet again and she nodded on her shoulder, trying to say something in reply but failing quite miserably. Her words were muffled by her tears and the very sobs she struggled to control from escaping. She wanted to assure her younger, baby sister. She wanted to say, 'It's okay, Cissy,' in hopes of making everything 'okay' as she had just put it. But it wasn't okay and it wasn't alright. The two had differed so much, parted ways and lived their own lives for much too long. Yet here they were, on the floor, embraced in a hug. It was almost as if they had never left each other's sides to begin with. So many things had yet to be said, so many apologies made and hopefully, to be accompanied by forgiveness. Forgiveness towards and from each other. Hope, that the Fates would not do anything more to tear the two sisters apart-- more so, hope that the Fates would no longer bring more pain to what already felt unbearable to Andromeda. "I was too busy being an arrogant berk, too stubborn to quit holding grudges. That's a Black, though. We're stubborn by default." And despite her efforts, Andromeda simply could not deny it. It was true-- stubbornness had been a very infamous trait within those with the Black surname. They all had their similarities, even Sirius could easily be mistaken for a Slytherin at times. Yet, not all were as strong as the other whether it be physically or emotionally. Andromeda and Sirius-- together, they were the rebels of the Blacks.
"I never wanted things to happen this way, Andie. I never wanted them dead." Andromeda could only frown as she held back another sob, her eyes staring down at the dark, wooden floor of the house the couple had chosen in their early years of marriage together. This house wasn't much. It wasn't as big as her previous house, a large manor that could fit so many more than just a family of five. Instead, the Tonks house was small, but comfortable. Homey. More so, it was filled with so many memories, both good and bad. All the fights Andromeda and Ted would occasionally have. She recalled how those nights were sometimes spent on the couch where Ted was obliged to sleep rather than on the bed with Andromeda after an argument, only to have her crawling back to him late in the night. She couldn't sleep not feeling his arms around her just as Teddy Lupin wasn't able to sleep without feeling somebody else's warmth close to him. Reminiscing, Andromeda clearly remembered her teenage daughter, constantly starting a feud about her mother's choice of a name for her; Nymphadora. She was constantly acting as the pain in the neck for Andromeda, breaking anything fragile in reach due to her clumsiness and her fiery side (obviously, a trait of Andromeda's herself) never did cease despite her increasing age. At the same time though, Andie couldn't bring it upon herself to not unconditionally love her daughter. It was simply a maternal feeling.
"I... I know it's hard to accept, but don't think they regretted it. At least they died admirably. For what they believed in." Andromeda could only bite down on her bottom lip as Narcissa spoke. She could hear the sincerity in her voice and tone, see the truth that prevailed in her eyes. "They were truly heroes, Andie. I run from my problems, but they faced theirs." For a moment, Narcissa looked down, eyes on the floor. By now, Andromeda had succeeded at least, in ceasing her sobs. That she could control, but the tears continued rolling down her cheeks. She felt like she was leaking, as if the tears were going to be the last of her. That if she didn't stop soon, Andie would never be the same again. Ted wouldn't like that, and neither would Dora, she was certain. Bringing her hand upward, Andromeda wiped the falling tears from her cheeks listening obediently as Cissy continued to speak. "Ted loved you, you know. More than anything." There goes her tears again, like a rain drops in a thunderstorm. "I know," she managed to croak, her voice sounding so much more strained and low than she could've ever possible imagined it to be. It had only been yesterday that Andie was within arm's reach of her daughter, albeit a mere corpse, and already, she was feeling different. Older. Maturer. More vulnerable than ever before.
Moreover, Andromeda pitied the baby still lying in his cot, sound asleep. Poor Teddy Lupin. He was to be the next Harry Potter. Maybe not in the sense that allowed him powers from an evil source, but... nevertheless, an orphan at such a young age. Andie could only make a vow to herself that he would never get to see her in her most vulnerable point. Unlike Harry, Teddy still had her beloved grandmother who was now quite the expert with rebellious metamorphogi, thanks to her daughter. Of course, he'd miss his parents... wonder what they were like. Andromeda could never replace them, but she could try and be there for him when he needed her and that was what mattered most; the love she could give him. "I think that was part of the reason why I hated him so much. He took my sister away from me. Selfish, I know. But no one loved you more than Ted. I saw that. It was part of the reason why I started hating you." A small smile made its way to her lips. Albeit, the smile was not the usual one you'd see on her lips. It didn't have a single hint of mischievousness nor was it one of her infamous Black smirks. But it was a genuine smile, her first honest smile in weeks since Ted had left her. 'No one loved you more than Ted.' "Oh, Cissy. You know I loved you. You know I-- I still do. I couldn't possibly stop. Deep inside me, that's impossible. We're sisters, Cissy. I would have never left you had you asked me to stay. But... I could've never left Ted at the same time either." She wanted to say more, but her lips pursed together in concentration as Cissy continued.
Bella always had a lot of responsibility, being the oldest. And I always felt that I had certain standards to live up to, since I was the youngest. We were always closer when we younger, since you're only two years older. Once you went to Hogwarts, I felt like I'd lost you. So I began to resent you. After a while, I decided it was time for payback. So I cut you out of my life, like I felt you'd done to me. I wanted you to feel how I felt. How it felt to lose my sister. But now I realize how childish and immature it was. It didn't work out as I'd planned at first, since I couldn't bring myself to do it. But once Ted came into the picture, I couldn't take it much more. Instead of confronting you about my feelings, I went along with the rest of the family. Agreed that you were no longer fit to be a part of the family by marrying a mud--, muggleborn." Andromeda no longer knew what to say at this point. Her confession, her words had hit her square in the stomach, knocking her breathless for a moment-- but in a good way. She had never known, never guessed that Cissy had such strong feelings about the whole ordeal. Of course, at first, Andie was a little cocky, hoping she'd come to her senses... they were sisters, after all. Her last expectation of Cissy then was to agree with her family and Andromeda had been left devastated. Abandoned by her pureblooded family, only to be able to start one with Ted. You win some, you lose some-- you could say, but the pain was unbearable. Loosing them both, however? That was worse. So much worse.
"I- I had no idea. I'm so sorry, Cissy. I should have included you in my plans more. I shouldn't have abandoned you at home like that. I should have... I should have written more! I should have done so much more. When I left, I thought-- I really, truly thought you hated me, that you'd chosen purebloodedness over me, your sister. I really thought that all our time spent together as kids were wasted. You have no idea how many times I considered coming back to visit you-- but, I was afraid. So afraid that somehow you, just you, Cissy, would be able to make me change my mind and come home. I couldn't leave Ted and Dora and I would never put that choice on jeopardy, but... thinking you really, truly hated me was the only thing that really pushed me to choosing Ted over you. Not Mother, Father, or Bellatrix. Just you. I've missed you so much." The words first came out in a jumbled mess, but it did not take long at all for her to finally slow down. She meant each and every single word, yearning again to feel Narcissa's warm, firm grip around her. Oddly enough, she had never felt safer... not since Teddy's arms. "I wasn't there when you needed me, I know. But I'm here now, Andie. You're a strong person, Andie. You always have been. You don't have to handle the pain alone, because I'm here now. Let me help you. You were always there for me when I needed you, now it's my turn to be there for you."
With that, Andromeda's eyes began to immediately well up but she held back, once again. The worst has come and gone. Now it was time to get up, to cure herself, to start a new without... them. "So is this it? Is this the complete end of blood discrimation?" Andie paused, hoping Narcissa didn't take it the wrong way. She hadn't meant to make her words sound as... rude as it did. In an attempt to redeem her question, in a solemn face, she added, "I mean... if not for everybody else, at least for us both?" After seeing Narcissa dab at her eyes with her sleeves, Andromeda reached out for her without a second of hesitation, taking Narcissa's soft hands in her own and giving it a light squeeze. "Come live with me," Her words shocked Andie all the more, the surprise causing her to suddenly drop Cissy hands from her grip. "I can't bear to see you alone like this. With a grandson, nonetheless. My home is your home. We have more than enough room for you and Teddy." By now, Andie had begun to shake her head. The idea was ludicrous. Narcissa had her own family to care for... even despite the size of her house, that Andromeda guessed to be very fairly large, she'd still be considered intruding. And with Teddy, she really didn't want to ruin their relationship any more than it already had been ruined, even with the reconciliation. The tears were sewn back, but they had still to be fully healed.
"Please, come be a part of the family again. Our family."
Again, the words used had a somewhat odd effect on her. Andromeda's eyes, earlier staring down at the dark, wooden floor, averted upwards instead to gaze at her sister, her eyes were a swollen red from all the fallen tears... but she had never looked more naturally beautiful. Andromeda wanted to accept the offer. She really did. Knowing how the facts of life worked however, she could not. "Cissy... I-- I can't. I couldn't possibly intrude into your lives like that. Especially not with Teddy around. I'm sure it's been quite a while since you've had a loud, crying baby within the walls of your home. And I'm also quite certain neither Lucius nor Draco would like the extra company around." Just as these words had been said, as if on cue, Teddy began to cry in the other room. With an apologetical look, Andromeda pulled herself back up and made her way to the living room, glancing back at Narcissa once, as if allowing her entrance inside. She made her way to the cot and picked up the bawling baby, swaying him gently back and forth in a soothing motion. "Shh," she murmured, "Sleep, Teddy. Go to sleep and dream of your loving parents and the grandfather we named you after. Alright? Please?" His crying did not cease much but instead increased in loudness almost. At least, it seemed so to her. With a desperate glance back at Narcissa, Andromeda could only continue trying to soothe the crying child, hugging him close to her chest and rocking him gently.
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Enjoy!