Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or the world in which they live. I intend no infringement upon J.K. Rowling's rights. I only ask that she let me borrow her creations for a little while. I promise to put everything back the way I found it!
Chapter 4:
Gemma's eyes were nearly crossing in concentration as she stared at her scales, carefully weighing out the nightfoil. According to Unspeakable Concoctions by Arsenius Jigger, even a fraction more of the nightfoil than indicated would turn the antidote into poison. The scales were just about tipped properly, and she was adding it in nearly imperceptible amounts to meet the instruction exactly. Gemma had never before attempted a potion that required such exact specifications, and she found it mentally exhausting.
Of course, it didn't help that she was so jumpy. At every sound she would stop what she was doing and stand motionless, her wand at the ready, until she was sure no one was there. She didn't know if any of the Death Eaters could have followed her, but she wasn't going to take any chances.
Gemma stepped back to her chair and flopped down in it tiredly. She was hoping that eyeing the scales from a distance would help. From what she could tell, she had measured out the nightfoil as perfect as she could get it. She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, leaning back into the chair for support on her aching back. She opened her eyes again and blinked them rapidly. They felt strained and had started to sting, and Gemma could feel a strong headache forming. She held out her hands in front of her, turning them over. Her fingertips burned from handling the nightfoil, and they looked raw and red. From what she had read, even external contact with the nightfoil was poisonous, and the headache and fatigue she was feeling were only the start of her symptoms. Once she actually started brewing the antidote, the fumes and vapors would probably only add to her problems.
She rose tiredly from her chair, and hurried back over to her cauldron. She didn't have the time to take a break. Or, at least, that poor man Mundungus didn't have the time for her to take a break. He had been under the effects of an Affliction Potion for over twelve hours. Gemma shuddered to think of what twelve hours like that must be like. No one had lived a full twenty-four hours after being Afflicted. Gemma only had reason to act as quickly as possible.
Fortunately according to Jigger, the antidote did not take very long to brew. The most time consuming part was gathering all the somewhat unusual ingredients and preparing them in such exact amounts. Gemma had everything she needed in her stores at the hospital too, so that had made things even easier.
All in all, she felt she was making very good time. She had measured out all her ingredients and was in fact, about ready to start the first stages of brewing. Gemma couldn't help but be surprised that no one from the Order had come to check on her yet. She had been sure they would have been here by now. Hadn't Sirius said he would be following as soon as they were finished?
She tried to clear Sirius and the rest from her mind, reminding herself that she would need her full concentration if she were to succeed in brewing this antidote. She rubbed her fingertips on a cloth by her cauldron, trying to get the burning to stop. She waved her wand over her table, rearranging things so she could work more easily. The antidote had to be brewed in three separate batches, each time adding different reagents, so she sorted out her ingredients into three different piles according to when they would be used. She had started the fire under her cauldron earlier to preheat it, and she dripped in a bit of dewlilly essence to test it. The essence bubbled and steamed, so Gemma knew the cauldron was ready. With a steady hand, she began adding the components of the first stage of the antidote.
After adding her entire stock of firebloom, a somewhat rare herb that she had been lucky to get her hands on the first place, the first stage of the potion was ready to simmer. She would need to stir it one-hundred and eighty seven degrees every four minutes, with an extra counter-clockwise sixty-seven degree stir every third stir. Gemma ran her eyes down her supplies for the second brewing, and after ensuring she had everything ready, she sat down for a moment, hoping that at least four minutes of rest would offer her some relief.
Her eyes had started to water as the stinging in them worsened, and the burning in her fingertips had spread now so that her entire hands burned and itched. The redness was also spreading. The pain in her head was just a dull one, so at least one thing did not seem to be worsening. The second stage of brewing, however, was when she would be adding the nightfoil and she knew that that was when the real fun would be starting.
As she stirred her final clockwise turn, Gemma stopped for a moment. She thought she had heard one of the doors to a nearby ward slam hard. She strained her ears, but couldn't make out any other sounds. She turned her eyes back to her antidote. She didn't have time to stop if she were going to brew the potion correctly. She next needed to strain this first batch and add a thickening agent before beginning the second brew.
Gemma lifted the cauldron with her wand, and began straining the liquid. When she was done, she added the thickening agent and then continued adding the required elements of the second brew. Her shoulders were tensed and she found herself holding her breath more than once. Gemma was growing more nervous as she pressed on. There was no turning back now. She did not have enough ingredients to try another brew. If she didn't get it right, if she messed up at all, there would be no way to recover the antidote. Gemma found she could barely keep her hands steady as she added the nightfoil.
Once she had added the final ingredient of the second brew, she charmed her wooden spoon to keep stirring, two large counterclockwise turns, then a clockwise turn. The potion had to be stirred constantly at this stage or the thickening agent would cause it too stiffen. The second brew needed to simmer for fifteen minutes before it too would be strained and Gemma could start the third and final brew.
She sat in her chair again and closed her eyes. She wanted to rub her head, but her hands were burning to the point of feeling numb, and whenever she touched anything, it magnified the pain. Instead, she laid her arms across the arms of her chair so that her hands hung freely in the air, not touching anything.
The fumes from the potion were making her feel lightheaded, as if the constant pounding in her head weren't enough. The antidote had started emitting a dark gray smoke as soon as she had added the nightfoil. The smoke was filling the room and was actually starting to obstruct some of the light in the room. Gemma was glad she had thought ahead enough to get all her ingredients ready in the beginning, because she sure wouldn't have wanted to be cleaning red skrull pustules in this dim light. She did wish she had a window in her office though, because it would have been nice if she could have had a bit of fresh air. If she wasn't concerned for her own life, she might have at least opened the door to her office.
As soon as she thought of the door, she heard the knob jingle. She shot to her feet and held her wand at the ready, ignoring the burning sensation in her wand hand. She could hear faint voices near the door, and she edged closer trying to listen. She had used her charm to keep the door locked so no one would be able to sneak in without her knowing.
"Scatters," Gemma heard someone say on the other side of the door.
The knob jingled again. "I thought you said you knew the pass code since the two of you are such pals," a second voice said curtly.
"You aren't helping. I could have sworn it was Scatters. Maybe it was Scritters?"
The knob jingled again. "Third time perhaps the charm?" the second voice sounded faintly amused.
Relief flooded Gemma. Sirius and Remus were bickering just outside her door. She pointed her wand at the door. "Skittles!"
Sirius turned the knob the moment he heard the lock turn and he and Remus rushed in. Both of them made sour faces as they entered and were hit with the fumes from the potion. Sirius shut the door quickly.
"All right?" he asked, concern in his voice. His hair was wild and a bit knotted. Remus also looked disheveled.
"Yes, you?" Gemma responded, curiously looking at them both. She had left them nearly four hours ago. Certainly they hadn't been dueling with the Death Eaters the whole time?
"Couldn't be better. How goes the antidote making?" There was a note of urgency in this voice. Gemma did not detect even a glint of the playfulness he usually used with her.
"It'll probably take about twenty more minutes after I add the last components."
"Twenty?" Remus asked as if disappointed. "I don't know if we have twenty."
"Is the man in really terrible shape? I've been going as fast as I can. The stirring pattern in this last brew is the most complicated I've ever seen. There's no way I'll be able to rush it." Gemma could feel herself growing even more lightheaded, and she placed a hand painfully on her desk to steady herself.
Sirius sighed and walked over to where the antidote was brewing. He made a horrible face as he looked into the cauldron. "That's not the issue. We may have a problem here. We'll need to leave as soon as possible once the antidote is complete."
"We may have a problem here," she repeated slowly. "What does that mean?" Remus and Sirius looked at one another briefly, but said nothing.
"There have been some developments lately. We can't get into that now. Remus and I had to clear some things up with the Ministry, which took a bit of time, or we would have been here sooner. When we were done, we flew straight over."
"Flew? Why didn't you just apparate to the hospital? And what do you mean, 'developments'?" Gemma asked as she moved over to her cauldron. It was nearly time to start the sieving process on the second brew.
"While we were at the Ministry, we heard they had reason to cast several anti-apparation jinxes. There is one in the area around the Hospital now," Remus said cautiously, but offered nothing more. It seemed the two of them still were not going to answer her questions about the 'developments.'
Gemma couldn't believe there was an anti-apparation jinx around St. Mungo's right now. It was a rather drastic move by the Ministry, and Sirius's and Remus's urgent behavior only added to her unease. She flicked her wand and starting straining the second brew. "I'm afraid I don't understand. Why are we in such a hurry? And why was it necessary to cast an anti-apparation jinx?"
"We can explain it later. Where's the nearest window on this floor?" Remus butted in.
Gemma stared at him strangely for a moment before responding. "There's a window in the ward two doors down, on the left."
"I'll go see if it will work. I'll signal them if it's ok." Remus left the room.
"Should I even ask? Or will the two of you be as vague as you have been?" Gemma was feeling a bit perturbed that they were keeping her in the dark. She finished the straining and began adding the contents of the final brew. The hazy smoke was lighter now, but the smell was still strong. Her eyes were burning and tearing, and it felt now like her hands were on fire.
"Well, we can't apparate out, we can't walk, and the floo isn't connected there. We'll be flying out as soon as you are done. We've got a few others outside that will escort us to Mundungus."
Gemma gasped so hard she choked. "Fly?"
"Yes, on broomsticks. Ginny Weasley was kind enough to lend us hers for you. You remember her, the young red-headed girl from that night at the Hospital?"
"Yes, I realize you meant fly on broomsticks. What you don't understand is that I'm a terrible flyer."
"I'm not asking to you do any fancy maneuvers. It'll be flying in a straight line. Even children can fly in straight lines," he answered, dismissing her.
Gemma squinted her eyes in pain again. The pounding in her head was fierce and she felt like all the skin on her hands had been burned off. And here he was, ignoring all of it and speaking to her like a child.
"I'm going to see how Remus and the others are doing. You'll be fine here? Nearly done?"
Gemma merely nodded, as Sirius left the room. Things were going to get too complicated with the potion making for her to be worrying about what they would or wouldn't tell her.
She completed the composition of the final brew and willed her hands to stop burning as she began the complicated stirring patterns of the final brew. Her book had several illustrations for the patterns, and she kept one eye on the book and the other on her cauldron. While following the motions set forth in the instructions, Gemma's mind began to wander. Why were they being so gruff and vague with her? Why wouldn't they explain why the Ministry cast an anti-apparation jinx around the Hospital? Hadn't she proved herself trustworthy enough? She had saved their hides on more than one occasion. Yet, they were acting toward her like she was some kind of hindrance. Why hadn't she been able to complete a super-complicated potion in record time? Why couldn't she understand their simple plans without having to ask questions? Adding to her frustration, Gemma felt so light-headed that she was seeing stars.
Remus and Sirius reentered her office right as she was taking the cauldron from the fire.
"Everything looks good. It's been twenty now. You set?" Remus asked from the doorway.
"Just one last sieve and I'll pour it into a vial." Gemma tried to keep the annoyance from her voice. The three of them remained silent as Gemma finished sieving. The thick, mahogany liquid filled the vial halfway. She put a stopper on the top and turned to Sirius and Remus, placing the antidote in her robes.
"Well done, Gemma. Let's go," Remus said brusquely. He and Sirius rushed from her office. Gemma walked to the doorway and took one last look back. The place looked a mess. She had ripped her shelves apart looking for everything she needed, knocking potions and vials about, some even lay scattered on the floor. She had also made quite a mess while preparing the various ingredients so there were all kinds of smudges and stains about the room as well.
Gemma was about to leave when she noticed the book of manifests sitting in the middle of her desk. She cursed herself for nearly losing it again. She rushed forward and shoved the book into her robes, careful not to smash the antidote she had stuffed in as well. Sirius's charm had long since worn off, so her robes were again a pastel blue color, with some of the dragon organ goo still smeared on them.
Gemma ran to the room a few doors down. Standing by the window was not only Sirius and Remus, but a man with a terribly mangled face and a fake eye, and the dark-haired boy she had seen with Dumbledore the other night. They were all holding broomsticks, and the dark haired boy held two.
"You have it?" The man with the eye asked. Gemma had thought the fresh air of the room would clear her head, but instead she could feel the corners of her eyes start to darken, and she felt near to fainting. She merely nodded at the man, afraid her voice would shake if she tried to speak.
"Let's get moving then. Harry, give her the broom. Gemma, just keep up with us."
The dark-haired boy moved forward. Gemma thought that the boy might be Harry Potter but she couldn't be sure. He handed her the broom, and glanced at her red, raw hands. He turned back to the window and saw that the others had all already flown out. He and Gemma were alone.
"Your hands! Are you all right? Will you be able to fly?" he asked, concerned.
Gemma took the broom in her hands, trying to ignore the excruciating pain. "It's just from handling the nightfoil. They feel fine," she lied. "We'd better get going."
Harry moved to the window, mounted his broom, and kicked off. Gemma walked to the window and looked out. The men were circling the hospital, glancing at the window. She looked down at her hands, which could barely stand to hold the broom. She already wasn't a good flyer, and if she couldn't even grip the broom properly, she could only imagine how hard it would be. She hoped they didn't have far to go.
Harry was hovering just outside the window. She mounted her broom, kicked off, and flew slowly out the window.
"Let's get moving," she heard the man with the eye shout from above. He, Sirius, and Remus started off. Harry still stayed closed.
"You sure you're going to be able to fly?" he asked, still looking concerned.
At least one of them cares about me, Gemma thought sourly to herself. She was about to tell Harry that she would be fine, when a shooting pain shot up out of her hands, protesting her grip on her broom. The pain shot all the way up her arms and was so strong her head began to swim. She could feel her grip loosening, and she knew that she would fall any second. She tried to direct her broom lower, so she wouldn't kill herself in the fall. She was just about to the first floor when she finally lost her grip and fell to the ground. She hit with a thud and let out a yelp of pain.
Harry was down next to her within seconds. "Gemma! Are you hurt?"
"I think only my pride." She smiled softly at Harry and he returned it. "I don't think I'm going to be able to hold a broom for very long though." She held up her hands. Several of the raw spots on her fingers had started to bleed. She fumbled painfully in her robes. "Here, take the antidote and the book. I'm wasting even more time."
"Harry! What's going on?" Sirius shouted as he turned back around. No one had seen her fall it seemed, but they saw them both on the ground. "Did she drop the antidote?" he asked in an apprehensive tone.
"No! It's her hands! They're burned from the nightfoil! She can't grip the broom!" He shouted back. "Come on. You can ride with me." Harry walked over, mounted his broom, and waited for Gemma to grab hold.
"I'll be fine, really. You go on ahead."
"Yeah, right. I'm just going to leave you here and fly off. Hurry and get on already!" Gemma looked up and saw Sirius starting to fly back towards them. She took a few deep breaths to clear her head as she mounted the broom behind Harry. Her arms were starting to feel stiff, and it hurt to bring them around Harry. She joined her hands gingerly and Harry kicked off. "You can hold a little tighter, Gemma. I don't mind," he said. Gemma couldn't tell how tightly she was holding on, but she tried to hold tighter.
Within no time, they were flying high and fast. The cool air seemed to soothe some of the burning, but the pain was still there. She and Harry passed Sirius.
Sirius took a close look at Gemma's hands, which were extremely red and still bleeding in a few places. "Why didn't you tell me your hands were hurting?" He sounded offended.
She wanted to shout at him that she would have if he had given her even a moment to speak, but instead answered, "We were in a hurry. I didn't want to slow us down. I didn't think they were that bad." It wasn't her fault the wanker was so daft he didn't even notice her raw hands when he was with her.
He shot her a disapproving look. "Harry, you follow Remus and Moody. I'm keeping up the rear."
Harry nodded and whisked the broom ahead to follow Remus and Moody.
Gemma tried her best to ignore the pain in her arms. It wasn't too hard actually as she became more and more dizzy. She had to concentrate so hard on keeping her head from spinning that her hands and arms only made a distant second in her mind.
"Harry is it?" Gemma asked lightly. She hoped carrying on a conversation would keep her head from spinning too terribly. She started to worry that she might lose consciousness.
Harry laughed a little. "It's been awhile since I've actually had to introduce myself. Harry Potter."
"I thought so, but I couldn't be sure. I've read about you in the papers. I hear you're an excellent Quidditch player. I trust I am in good hands flying with you?"
She could hear a smile in Harry's voice. "Flying is the one thing I am good at." He turned his head back to her. "I never got a chance to thank you."
"Thank me for what?" She asked, looking him in the eye.
"For saving Dumbledore that night. He would have died if it weren't for you. And then you helped Sirius too." He faced forward again. "Things would have turned out a lot worse if it weren't for you."
Gemma smiled weakly. "There's no need to thank me. I was just doing my job and I was happy to help."
Harry's tone grew serious. "No, it was my fault they were both hurt. If I had just listened to Dumbledore, it wouldn't have even happened. If he had…" he stopped. "Well, it would have been my fault."
Gemma could hear the guilt in this voice, and she searched for something to say to reassure him. "If I had a nickel for every time I should have just listened to Dumbledore but didn't, I'd be rich." She tried to squeeze Harry a bit tighter to show her support, but she wasn't sure if she had even moved her arms. They were nearly completely numb in the coldness of the upper air, and the freshness of the air actually seemed to be making her more light-headed making it hard for her to think straightly.
"But do people die from your mistakes? Does every choice you make affect the lives of everyone you care about?"
Gemma grew quiet for a moment. She had read about Harry Potter, as everyone had, and she knew that his burden must be a heavy one. "Harry, all our choices always affect the lives of everyone we love, the bad ones and the good ones. We can only try to do what we think is right. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. Nothing bad happened, and that is what's important. We all mess up, Harry. All of us."
She wanted to change the subject quickly, as she was uncomfortable with the sadness in his voice, and so said without thinking. "So did your parents teach you how to fly?" She regretted saying it immediately. Of course she knew the story of the Potters, but she just wasn't thinking clearly. She could feel Harry stiffen.
"My parents died when I was a baby." He said nothing more.
She shook her head a bit, trying to clear it. "That's right, I'm sorry, I'm just a bit bubbled headed right now. I remember reading now that you lived with your Aunt and Uncle. Did they teach you how to fly? I bet you were a handful as a little wizard!" She purred slightly.
"I didn't learn how to do magic or fly until I came to Hogwarts. My Aunt and Uncle are Muggles. They don't much care for magic. Come to think of it, they don't much care for me either," Harry's voice trailed off.
Gemma was intrigued. "What do you mean they don't much care for you? They took you in, didn't they? That must mean they care for you."
Harry scoffed a bit. "Trust me, they only took me in because they had to. If my Aunt or Uncle had a choice in the matter, they wouldn't have even looked at me."
Gemma frowned. "That's terrible! They are good to you at least?"
Harry stiffened even more. He sneered. "Sure. I lived in the broom closet for eleven years. They didn't feed me sometimes. They put bars on my windows and locks on my doors. And the list goes on."
"Does Dumbledore know?" Gemma asked, shocked that Dumbledore would have allowed Harry to be treated that way.
"Yes," Harry responded simply.
"And he let's you go back! What a ninny!" Gemma shook her head strongly in disapproval, which made white stars appear in her eyes.
Harry shook his head too. "He keeps saying that it's for a good reason. They all do, even Mrs. Weasley. She says she'll come get me as soon as she can this summer, but to me, it's not even worth it. I don't understand why I even have to go."
"Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. Tell you what. I'll talk to Dumbledore about it. Ask him why you need to go back. And I'll let you know what he says."
Harry turned around again. "Really?"
Gemma nodded. "Absolutely. I cannot see any reason for you to go back to that place. They don't feed you for the love of Merlin! Locks on your door! It's ridiculous. I can't for the life of me figure out why he hasn't gone there to teach them a lesson!"
Harry smiled dimly. "He'll probably just blow you off like he does me, but thanks for offering."
Gemma chuckled a bit. "If he does blow me off, I'll go there myself! I can't stand Muggles who act so foolishly!" She paused for a moment, and her voice grew lower. "My best friend's Muggle parents were horrible to her, just like your Aunt and Uncle. She used to be so scared to go home. I can't tell you how many times we wished we could make them stop. No one should ever be forced to live with people like that."
Gemma grew silent for awhile and Harry looked around to see if he could recognize his surroundings.
In true Moody fashion, he was not letting them ride directly to their destination, but instead they had to back-track and change directions quite often. It didn't seem like such a long ride to Harry though, because Gemma was easy to talk to. Strangely enough, she seemed to show a genuine concern for him, but unlike what he as used to. Everyone else was worried about Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived. Gemma seemed to be worried about just the boy. It was refreshing for Harry to talk with someone who didn't seem to care so much about who is was.
Gemma snapped out of her reverie as Harry took a quick dive with his broomstick and then shot quickly back up again. Harry laughed as he wrung his hands around his broomstick warming them up.
"Hang on tight!" He shouted back to her. He and Gemma laughed as he starting doing all kinds of crazy maneuvers on his broom. He told her the Quidditch name for each move, and Gemma laughed and screamed as she tried to hang on. Harry was about to show her the Flying Dutchman when Moody growled for them to stop.
Harry calmed his flying down again, making faces at Moody, when he felt Gemma starting to slide a bit. "Gemma, you need to hold on tighter. I've been feeling you slip back for awhile now."
Harry could feel her trying to move her hands and arms, but she loosened her grip, not tightened it. "So I hear you are a great Quidditch player. I hope you're a good flyer too." Her voice was extremely weak sounding.
"Gemma?" Harry grew alarmed immediately. That was the same question she had asked when they first started talking. Harry reached for her arm just as she finally slipped back and off the broom. He had hold of her robe for a few seconds, but lost his grip immediately.
Harry saw that her eyes were closed as she started to fall. "I've got her!" he heard Sirius shout from behind him and Harry saw Sirius's broom shoot down after Gemma.
She was falling rapidly, her hair flowing above her. Sirius flew below her and caught her in his arms. The force of the catch caused his broom to spin out of control, and he and Gemma plummeted as he struggled to hold both her and the broom. Her hair had wound itself around his neck and arms, and he was struggling to see where he was going and what he was doing. He struggled to get his arms untangled enough to control his broom.
Sirius finally managed to get the broom under control, and he propped Gemma up on his chest, resting her head on his shoulder. Harry caught up with them.
"Is she ok?" Harry asked as he looked at Gemma with a furrowed brow. Her eyes were flickering and rolling.
"I don't know," Sirius replied in a somber tone. He put two fingers to her throat. "Her heart is beating and she's breathing. It's probably got something to do with the nightfoil." He started fumbling in her robes until he found the antidote. He handed the vial to Harry.
"Go on ahead with Remus and Moody. You'll need to hurry. I'll follow behind with Gemma. It'll take me longer to fly with her now that she's unconscious." He shifted Gemma around on the front of his broomstick, gripping the handle with his left hand and hold Gemma with his right.
"I'll go give this to Professor Lupin and come back and fly with you."
"No, Harry. You can't be back here unprotected. You stay with Moody and Lupin."
"I'm a better flyer than you. Maybe I should take her and you go ahead?"
"I can handle it. Just go. We'll be right behind you." Harry looked for a moment as if he wasn't going to listen but he finally turned to catch up with Moody and Lupin.
Sirius again shifted Gemma in his arms. She was heavier than she looked and he could already feel his arms starting to ache. He could feel her forehead burning on his shoulder and he hoped she would be all right. He glanced at her hands, raw and bleeding, and cursed. The poor woman had started out her day shopping in Diagon Alley, unaware that she would be ending it having poisoned herself with nightfoil trying to make an antidote for a complete stranger. And, to top it all, she had asked them to leave her out of it. A fine job they had done of that.
Sirius steadied his broom and started flying, keeping a tight arm on Gemma. It wasn't completely slow going, once he got the hang of it. He was only behind by what he would guess was ten minutes.
They had moved Mundungus to Moody's house. He had so many security hexes and charms, they figured it would be the safest place for him. Dumbledore had not told Gemma where the Order's headquarters were, so she could not join them there, and Dumbledore was insistent that they not let Gemma out of their sight. After what happened in the Alley, he figured she might be a prime target of Death Eaters.
Sirius landed his broom in front of Moody's house and stiffly laid Gemma gently on the ground to rest a bit before carrying her in. He started rubbing his back immediately. It had been a hard ride indeed. Harry and Dumbledore came bursting from Moody's house. Much to Sirius's surprise as well, Severus Snape followed closely.
Dumbledore rushed forward and knelt down. He ran his hands over Gemma's forehead, wiping at some of the perspiration that had formed. He gently lifted her arms and examined her hands. "Severus, will she be all right?"
Snape moved forward and began examining her himself. Sirius wanted to smack his hands away, but restrained himself. He couldn't stand to see Snape touching her. Snape rolled up the sleeves of her robes and examined her arms. He felt her forehead. "It looks like she'll be fine. I'll make up a balm I can put on her burnt skin. She will need to sleep off the rest of the nightfoil's effects." He looked closer at Gemma, and took a lock of her hair in his hand thoughtfully. "Although I've never heard of nightfoil having such an effect on hair. I'll have to check some sources. It's quite unusual that it turned it white."
"That wasn't the nightfoil. Her hair is always white," Sirius said.
"Her hair is naturally white?" Snape asked curiously. He held her hair thoughtfully in his hands.
Dumbledore's voice cracked a bit. "There is nothing natural about it, but yes, it was white previously."
"Will she be all right?" Harry butted in, obviously wanting them to get back to the issue at hand.
"I'm not a healer, Potter," Snape spat out. But when Dumbledore shot him a glare, he added, "But, nightfoil, while mildly toxic to the touch, it is only fatal when ingested. I suspect that with some rest she will return to normal." Snape finally released her hair from his hands and growled out, "It was folly for her to have attempted the antidote in the first place. You all should have found me immediately upon securing the nightfoil and I could have handled the brewing personally. I would not have been so careless in dealing with nightfoil," he looked down at Gemma with a disapproving look. "There have been few successful attempts at brewing this particular antidote, I am one of the only few alive now that has succeeded, and I very much doubt a simple healer at St. Mungo's is capable of doing it correctly."
"Then I hope you don't mind being wrong, Snape. She's done it." Harry iced out, anger rising in his voice. He couldn't stand Snape insulting Gemma, especially while she was unconscious after having tried to save their friend. Snape's face grew dark and furrowed, but he did not respond to Harry.
"Let us wait and see, shall we?" Dumbledore quickly added, trying to diffuse the situation. "We should get her inside." Sirius nodded and picked Gemma up gently, careful not to hurt her hands further. Tonks had come to the door to see what was going on, and now held the door open for Sirius. He walked into the living room and set Gemma down on a couch.
Sirius was trying to rearrange her robes when he found the book of manifests she had hidden in them. He smiled softly to himself and handed the book to Moody, whose magic eye immediately starting whirling. Sirius looked over to Tonks. "Mundungus…is he?" Sirius had noticed that the man's screams were no longer filling the house.
Tonks raised her eyebrows as if in amazement. "Nope. Last I checked he was fine. He actually stopped screaming about five minutes after we gave him the antidote." She shot a look at Severus, who was trying his best not to look interested. "Even if it isn't working, at least he's not in pain anymore."
Sirius again smiled, looking down at Gemma's sleeping face. She had done it again. He saw some blood dripping from her hands drop to the floor. "What do you need for your balm, Snape?" Sirius asked, trying to keep his voice neutral. He hated having to ask Snape for help.
"I'll get it myself. It will take me awhile to gather what I need. I suggest you find her somewhere more comfortable to rest. She might be incapacitated for a few days." He walked hurriedly from the room.
Dumbledore looked thoughtful. "This might not be the best place for her. She'll need someone to take care of her. I might go to the Weasleys' and see if they would care to watch after her a few days."
"That's an excellent idea. I think Molly will take great care of her," Sirius said as Dumbledore and Tonks sat down the near the couch. None of them said a word as they all sat in the calm silence that forms after a crisis. It had been a long day for them all.
Tonks was staring absently at Gemma, as if she were thinking. "Dumbledore," she said suddenly, turning to him. "Do you know how it happened…to Gemma? I thought maybe she was a metamorphmagus."
Dumbledore shook his head, and his face had grown solemn. "No, no, she is not. It was an apparation accident. At the end of her third year at Hogwarts, she had reason to apparate, even though she had no training. She saved me," he added quietly, closing his eyes. "But, since she was so young and inexperienced, she did not apparate herself correctly and wound up looking as she does." Sirius could hear the regret and guilt in Dumbledore's voice. Clearly he blamed himself. Sirius was burning to know what Dumbledore and Gemma might have been doing, but Dumbledore remained quiet about the rest of the story.
Tonks was still staring at Gemma. Sirius thought she was going to ask about what they had seen, about when her eyes and hair had changed, but she never did. After talking a bit about what they would all do next, Dumbledore rose. "I really should go see about Molly tending to Gemma. Harry, I think we might also arrange for you to stay with the Weasleys' a few more days before you return home."
Harry's face grew dark, but he said nothing. "I should be back shortly. I need to speak with Severus once he returns. Don't let him leave before I speak with him," Dumbledore added with force. He then turned and was gone.
"What a day," Sirius signed as he sat at the foot of the couch. He ran a hand over his eyes, and breathed deeply.
"I agree," Remus added tiredly. He shot a reassuring glance to Tonks, who was seated near him.
They exchanged a quiet conversation as they waited for Snape to return. Moody had joined them after examining the manifests. He said they had hit the jackpot with the book. He would study it more lately, but it held mounds of useful information.
Sirius was absently flipping through the book, when Dumbledore burst in again. "Let's get her to the Weasleys'. Molly said she would take care of her." Sirius gently took Gemma in his arms. "Has Severus not returned?" Dumbledore asked, surprise in his voice. They all shook their heads. "Interesting," was all he added as the group moved to the Weasleys'.
Gemma wasn't as oblivious as they all thought her to be. On several occasions she was conscious, but the pain was so great that she couldn't move enough to even open her eyes. She heard snippets of conversations, though they sounded somewhat garbled to her.
She was awake when Snape had finally returned to the Weasleys' with the balm. The balm was as soothing as she thought Heaven would be. The burning in her hands and arms subsided instantly as he put it on. She was surprised too at how gentle he was when he put it on. He delicately wrapped her hands in bandages as well when he was done. She could hear Snape give curt instructions to Molly before he left.
Gemma was by no means conscious the whole time though. Sometimes the lightness in her head would send her spinning, and often she found herself lost of memories. They came randomly, but vividly. She had been dreading one memory when it finally came: that one day, so many years ago, at the end of her third year. She saw the Death Eater mask, saw him moving closer to her, when she finally shot awake, gasping.
She looked around, at first not knowing where she was.
"It's okay, you're at my house," a soft voice said to her right. She turned quickly, and saw Ginny's red hair next to her. Gemma eyes were still unfocused. She tried to blink to clear them. "You feeling okay? I can go get my mom."
Gemma laid her head back down on the pillow, trying to take in her surroundings. She was in a very comfortable bed, and she was warm. Someone was cooking something that smelled wonderful, the aroma filled the house. She lifted her hands gingerly, and turned them over. The bandages made her look like a mummy, but her hands barely tingled. There was no more burning. Her head still ached dully, but it didn't bother her. She still felt extremely dizzy though.
"I think I'll be all right. I might just need a second to clear my head."
"Let me know if you need anything," Ginny added, scooting her chair closer to Gemma.
Gemma watched her. Ginny clearly had been waiting for Gemma to wake. She was looking expectantly at Gemma. "Was there something you need to talk to me about, Ginny?" Gemma asked kindly. She wanted to get her mind warmed up, and talking helped. Her throat felt a bit unused and she wondered how long she might have been sleeping.
"It can wait until you are feeling better. I only wanted to…" she trailed off. Gemma caught her eyes and smiled. "I just wanted to see if you were going to tell on me," Ginny hurried out.
"Tell on you for what?" Gemma asked genuinely confused.
Ginny seemed reluctant to speak. "About what happened that night…at the Hospital."
Gemma's eyes widened as she finally understood. She shut her eyes tiredly. "I had almost forgotten. That seems like ages ago." She opened her eyes and made sure that Ginny met her gaze fully. "I promise that I won't say anything until we've had a good chance to talk it out ourselves. Deal?"
Ginny looked relieved. "Definitely." She smiled at Gemma. "I'll go get my mom now. She told me to get her when you woke up." Ginny left the room, with a bit of a spring in her step. She had been clearly worried that Gemma was going to tell everyone what she had done.
Much to Gemma's surprise, it was not Ginny's mother that entered her room first, but two red-headed twins. "Fred and George Weasley, inventors of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes." They both held out hands as if to shake Gemma's, but when she raised her bandaged hand, the both put theirs down immediately. "Word on the street is that you are quite knowledgeable with herbs."
Gemma cocked an eyebrow. "I know my fair share."
"Great," one of the twins said and he plopped down on the bed on her right side. The other twin sat to her left. "What all do you know about barfing? Causes and cures."
Gemma couldn't help but let out a laugh. And that was pretty much how her first few days with the Weasleys' went. Ginny was nearly always with her when she first woke. She had been kind enough to braid Gemma's hair, two large French-braid pigtails, since they didn't have any hats big enough to hold all her hair. Ginny spent her mornings helping Gemma with breakfast, talking nearly non-stop. Gemma was thankful for the distraction. Fred and George had taken to surprising her at all kinds of odd hours too, asking her opinion on all kinds of their projects. Gemma knew that Molly would kill her if she knew that she had been helping them.
Molly had been absolutely wonderful. Her cooking was terrific and she was always checking to see if there was anything Gemma needed. She felt very safe and well taken care of with the Weasleys'. Even Mr. Weasley, Arthur, would talk with her in the evenings about Ministry goings on. In four days time, Gemma felt good enough to start walking around. Ron, and sometimes Fred and George, would help keep her steady as she walked from room to room. They really all did their best to make her feel like part of the family, and Gemma was thankful that they were taking such good care of her.
The only thing she found lacking was that Sirius, Dumbledore, and Remus had not been to see her once. She found that infuriatingly rude. She had risked too much for them to just dump her off and leave. She had been fuming about this particular slight for several minutes on the Weasleys' back porch. They had a small porch swing in the back, and she found the rocking motion soothing. Her dizziness was nearly all gone, and the fresh air made her feel nearly normal.
"I had hoped to find you alone, but should you be out this late? It's cool and drafty," a smooth voice said from behind her.
"Sirius, it's summer-time. And I'm not an invalid. The fresh air does me good," she responded, trying to keep the excitement from her voice. He had set her on edge the moment she had heard his first word, and her head was buzzing for reasons other than nightfoil.
She could hear him walk over to her, and he paused to drop something in her lap. He continued walking past her and sat on the steps of the porch.
"What's this?" she said, eyeing the package, which looked strangely like an ill-wrapped present.
Sirius cleared his throat nervously. "Just a little something…consider it a thank you. For all you've done lately." He kept his head facing forward, not looking.
Earlier that day, she had finally removed the bandages on her hands. Her hands and fingers were still a bit red and sore, but all the rawness and bleeding was gone. She quickly unwrapped the box, anxious to see what was inside. She shifted through the tissue paper and uncovered a lavender colored scarf, which had small, pale blue flowers on it. She gasped as she held it up. It was made out of the softest silk she thought she had ever felt.
"It's not signed by Lockhart of course, so it's not perfect" Sirius added smartly when he heard her gasp. "There's one more thing in the box."
Gemma laughed delighted and fished around in the tissue paper. She shot her hand deep into the box, ignoring the slightly uncomfortable tingling, and wrapped her fingers on what felt like cold paper down on the bottom. She pulled it out and held it in the faint light from the Weasleys' kitchen. She could only gasp. It was a bag of Skittles. Gemma felt her eyes tear a bit. Sirius was still sitting on the steps, not looking at her.
Gemma rose to her feet and walked shakily over to the steps. She plopped down next to Sirius. He looked at her, some kind of unreadable light in his gray eyes, before he turned his head away again. Gemma softly kissed his temple. "Open these for me?" she asked, holding out the Skittles. Sirius took the bag from her and struggled to figure out how to open them.
"This is probably the nicest thing anyone has done for me in awhile," she said softly, as Sirius continued to fight with the Skittles bag.
"Well, I figured you lose a scarf every time you are with me. It won't be long before you'll be out," his eyes avoided hers. Instead he chose to concentrate on the Skittles bag. "I don't really think you need them though, but I know you like them."
She wrapped the soft scarf thankfully around her neck. She wasn't sure she would ever take it off. Sirius had finally managed to open the Skittles bag and had handed it back to Gemma. "And Remus explained to me about the Skittles while we were on our way over from the Ministry. He said they were your favorite." Sirius's voice took on a slightly agitated tone.
Gemma tried to hide her smile as she dug through the Skittles bag. She kept shaking it and turning it in the light, looking for a lime one.
"What are you doing?" Sirius asked, smirking at her.
"I'm looking for the ones I want. I don't like them all."
He was watching her intently. "What are they?"
Gemma shook the bag again, and closed one eye to look in. "They are chewy fruit snacks. Each color tastes differently."
"Like Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans?" Sirius asked.
"Not quite. There aren't nearly so many flavors, and they are all fruity, nothing nasty. The lime ones are my favorite." She shot a hand in, and pulled one out. "Ew. Grape."
She was about to throw it back in the bag when Sirius grabbed her hand gently. "I like grape." She smiled hugely at him and let him take the grape drop from her hand.
"Good, you can have them all." Sirius looked somewhat reluctant to put the candy in his mouth, and at first he chewed it cautiously, much to Gemma's amusement, but she could tell quickly that he liked it. She shot her hand in the bag again and pulled out another circle. "What are your thoughts on lemon?"
He took the lemon from her as well. "I like lemon too." He popped the lemon quickly in his mouth this time and began chewing.
Gemma finally found her lime one, and was chewing softly on it as well. "Well, that works out perfect. I don't like the grape or lemon ones, but I always feel bad throwing them away."
He met her eyes. "Well, I guess you'll always have to eat Skittles with me now."
Gemma could feel her heart drop in her stomach and some heat rise in her cheeks. She could have sworn his voice sounded much more husky than usual as he had said it. She met his eyes bravely. That same unreadable light was there. Gemma could feel her flesh pink as he moved closer to her. He propped one hand on the floor of the porch and brought his other hand up to touch one of her braids.
"I like you hair like this." He rubbed the braid gently with his thumb.
"Ginny did it for me," was all Gemma could think to reply as Sirius dropped her hair and moved his hand to her face. He placed his hand on her cheek, and she pressed her face into the warmth of it. She could feel his hand gently drawing her closer, and she leaned into him. Her head was buzzing but she felt her heart miraculously still as their lips met. It was a gentle and soft kiss. Sirius's lips felt rough, but nice on her own. He pulled away slowly after a few moments to look in her eyes. She didn't know what he was looking for there, but she hoped they were telling him not to stop. He started to lean forward again, when they heard the back door swing open.
Gemma jumped back slightly, but Sirius stood his ground. He looked to the door with a growl. Harry looked at them both, a small grin on his face. "We just got in. Dumbledore wants to hold a meeting."
Sirius sighed. He couldn't miss a meeting of the Order, no matter how much he cared to. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before looking at Gemma. She smiled at him playfully, and he could feel his resolve falter.
"Sirius, we're ready to start when you are," he heard Molly yell from the kitchen window.
Gemma laughed. "Help me in?"
Sirius got quickly to his feet and helped Gemma to hers. She leaned more heavily on his arm than the thought she would. "I didn't realize you still were feeling weak. Why didn't you tell me?"
Gemma squeezed his arm. "Well, I'm not quite sure if it's the nightfoil or you making me feel this way." Sirius barked out a laugh and grinned wickedly, but they said no more as they walked in. Sirius helped Gemma into a chair next to Dumbledore. He sat himself on the armrest.
It seemed as if Dumbledore had already started the meeting for he was in mid-sentence when Gemma and Sirius sat down. "…I enjoy making you suffer." Dumbledore's voice held an irritated tone.
Gemma shot Sirius a sideways glance. Harry immediately spoke up. "Then why do you make me go back?" Gemma raised her eyebrows. They were clearly fighting about him having to go back to his Aunt and Uncle's. She hoped her talk earlier did not give Harry any ideas to start a fight with Dumbledore.
"I would not make you go there if I didn't think that is where you would be safest, Harry. Surely you must understand this."
"I think we've already proven that that idea is flawed. I was attacked by Dementors there last summer," Harry fought back. "I was on my own there. If I'm going to be on my own, why can't I at least choose the place?"
Dumbledore breathed deeply. "I already explained this to you. There are protections set in place for you there that no one else can match. It is only for a few months and we should be able to move you."
Harry rolled his eyes. "Protected but miserable. No thanks. You might as well just drop me in the middle of a desert. I'd get better care there."
"Harry!" Molly cut in. "We'll bring you here as soon as we can."
Harry's lip curled in displeasure. "What you're all saying is that I have to take it whether I like it or not. It doesn't matter how horrible they are to me? You all get to be included and I don't!" he stormed out of the room.
Dumbledore sighed heavily and got up to follow Harry with Molly.
"I'll be right back," Sirius said to Gemma as he followed them.
Gemma turned to Tonks, who was seated at her right. "Why does he have to go back? I don't understand."
Tonks screwed up her nose, which changed shapes. "Don't know. Dumbledore has his reasons I assume. Sucks though, those two are right gits to Harry. I wouldn't mind teaching them a lesson, but Dumbledore says we have to leave them alone."
Gemma was about to ask further, but Sirius and Dumbledore had reentered. Sirius did not retake his seat next to Gemma, but instead moved to the chair that Molly had occupied. He looked lost in thought and did not look at anyone else in the room.
Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Now that we've go that cleared up," he sounded amused, "we'll move on to more pressing things." He grabbed the book of manifests that Gemma had stolen. "This book has proven to be quite useful. Alastor and I have been over it quite a few times, and we've detected several interesting patterns. Nearly every large shipment the Death Eaters order is funneled through to three different places. After that, we have no idea where the goods are going, or what they are doing with them."
"What kinds of goods are we talking about, Dumbledore?" Arthur Weasley asked.
Dumbledore perched his chin thoughtfully on the tips of his fingers. "All kinds actually. It is quite odd. There are several shipments of herbs, foods, and other miscellaneous goods. What is most interesting is a series of artifacts and equipment."
Remus shifted in his seat. "What kinds of artifacts?"
Moody joined in. "Mostly old scrolls from several foreign libraries. Some tablets and tapestries too. All about the same thing though: the Founders."
"The Founders?" Remus replied.
"Of Hogwarts," Dumbledore finished. "Lord Voldemort is apparently looking for something hidden in texts about the Four Founders." Sirius detected an odd tone in Dumbledore's voice, as if he might be leaving something out. He also noticed that Gemma had paled and sunk in her seat. She was fidgeting with the scarf around her neck nervously.
"They've also ordered quite a bit of excavation equipment. They're digging for something, possibly having to do with the Founders." Moody got up and started pacing the room. "The manifests, of course, don't mention what. But we can see the areas where they are shipping most of the excavation materials to, so we at least know where they are looking even if we don't know what they are looking for."
Gemma shot her eyes to Dumbledore to see if he would make any indication that he already knew what You-Know-Who was looking for. He made none, and so Gemma followed suit, even though she had a very good idea about exactly what he was looking for.
"Well, what's the plan then? We've got to figure out what he's looking for and if he actually knows where it is or if he's just searching," Sirius was fumbling with the heel of his boot absently. He was clearly still concerned about Harry.
"Yes, we'll need to split up. I was hoping that you and Tonks might be able to go around and scout about the sites. See exactly where they are digging and see if you spot what they are doing." He turned to Gemma, "I was hoping that Remus and Gemma could do a little work in the library, trying to locate similar scrolls to what Voldemort has requested so we may be as informed as he is." He moved to pick up the book again. "Before you leave though Gemma, I was hoping to get you to prepare a Veritaserum for me, since Professor Snape is absent again. There is a man listed several times here as receiving goods. I tried to question him earlier, but he was not forthcoming. I thought a little persuasion might be in order." His eyes twinkled
Gemma remained silent. Dumbledore fumbled in is robes for a moment and pulled out a Galleon. He walked over and held it out to Gemma. "It's enchanted, an idea of Miss Hermione Granger. The letters here heat up when I've called a meeting. The initials here will spell out at which location the meeting will be at. The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, you should know, is located at Number 12, Grimmauld Place, London."
Gemma made no motion to take the coin. Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "I'm not a member of the Order," she said softly.
Dumbledore chuckled softly. "Yes, I know we have not formally made you a member, but you are as good as."
Sirius smiled, but Gemma did not. Gemma took a deep breath. "No, you misunderstand. I won't be needing that coin because I am not a member of the Order of the Phoenix."
Everyone in the room was silent as they all stared at Gemma. Dumbledore's lip twitched. "Yes, I think I have misunderstood you."
Gemma's face flushed as Dumbledore still stood over her. "If any of you had bothered to ask me, I could have told you and saved you the trouble. I have no, nor have I ever had, any intention of joining you. I helped only because I could not in good conscience leave things as they were. I will certainly not be involved in any escapades involving Death Eaters or You-Know-Who, so you can all forget that!"
No one moved even a muscle, and Dumbledore's lip continued twitching. Suddenly he burst out, "Gemma Peacecraft! I never in my life!" He roughly grabbed her hand and shoved the coin in. Gemma gasped a bit as his roughness caused her still sensitive hand to ache. "As I recall it, I never asked you to join anyway, so that settles that! You are now formally a member of the Order of the Phoenix and I expect you to act as one with full participation forthwith. You will go upstairs right now. I've dropped of the ingredients into Fred and George's room. I expect Veritaserum before I leave this night. And I will not hear another word from you!" He suddenly backed away as Gemma got to her feet furiously. Her face was flushed and she stood glaring at Dumbledore for a full minute before she finally walked out of the room. Dumbledore called after her. "We will finish this later!"
Dumbledore sat loudly in his chair, clearly distracted. He fumbled with his half-moon spectacles before speaking again. "We also need to find out as much as we can about today's events. I've sent Shacklebolt to Azkaban to investigate."
Remus sighed. "No one there will be able to help us. The Dementors are no longer on our side, and I doubt anyone else there is for that matter. They bow to money and power, and You-Know-Who has both. The fact that all the Death Eaters there have managed to escape shouldn't surprise us."
"Escaped?" Molly Weasley gasped, and she grasped the collar of her dress, pulling it tight.
Sirius nodded. "We first got word early this afternoon. Every Death Eater there, including the ones that were arrested last week at the Ministry has escaped. Remus and I were at the Ministry when we heard they were casting anti-apparation jinxes around several important locations, to prevent the Death Eaters from getting any help they need or capturing key locations."
Dumbledore nodded. "And our first steps should be to try and apprehend as many of them as possible. I've spoken with the Minister, and he has given Tonks special permission act as liaison to several aurors who we will be aiding. It is most crucial that we do not allow Voldemort his most trusted followers."
"Easier said than done," Sirius added. He kept glancing upstairs. He wanted so badly to leave and speak with Gemma. He and the others continued talking strategy though, laying out what little they knew and what needed to be done to learn more. Near the end of the meeting, when Dumbledore was speaking nearly exclusively to Tonks about the other aurors, Sirius excused himself and headed upstairs.
He had no idea which room Gemma had gone to, but he tried to follow the smell of the burning cauldron. He found his way to a light under a closed door, and he stopped for a moment, listening in. Gemma was grumbling to herself. He heard her knocking and pounding everything she could as she went, and he couldn't help but smile.
He knocked softly before turning the knob. From the other side of the door, Gemma said venomously, "If that is you, Albus Dumbledore, I would suggest that your turn right back around. I've nothing to say to you!"
"And what do you suggest if it's Sirius Black?" Sirius asked as he entered the room.
Gemma was seated on the floor, brewing the Veritaserum in the cauldron that Fred and George used to create all their crazy concoctions. She did not yell at him, but her sour mood did not change. "If he says one thing about the Order of the Phoenix, he'll wish he had stayed downstairs," she answered foully.
Sirius's eyes narrowed. "You can't be serious about not wanting to join."
Gemma glared at him. "And why can't I be? Just because you all bully me into helping doesn't mean that I actually want to! Have any of you ever asked me even once? I told Remus and I told Dumbledore that I did not want to be included; that I would not be helping. But did they listen? No? He still comes in, asking me to heal him, heal you, looking for me to brew antidotes to the most horrible potions imaginable. Getting me involved with Death Eaters! And Remus, he has me brewing Wolfsbane potions for him! It's like they don't even listen. None of you listen! I DO NOT WANT TO BE IN THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX!" Gemma banged down her spoon with her last words.
Sirius scowled at her. "Can't be bothered with the dirty work, is what you mean," he shot back. "Risking your life for others just isn't worth it to you. But you'll be sure to reap the rewards once we done. You'll just walk over our corpses and hope for the best? And if you don't pick sides, it'll be easier for you to join him in case we do lose."
Gemma looked as if he had slapped her. "That's not what I am saying, and you know it. That's not fair!"
"You'll have to excuse me if I take your insults personally, but the Order is my life's work. I've given up everything I am to stop the Dark Arts, and nearly everyone I ever cared about died doing the same. It's pathetic to hear you talk about it as if it's some club you don't want to join because it doesn't suit you." Sirius regretted saying it, but he couldn't stop himself.
Gemma's eyes widened. "Would you stop overreacting?! You know that's not what I mean! Can't you understand that I might have my own reasons for not joining? Do you have to jump to such conclusions?"
"If you aren't with us, then you are with him. It's as simple as that," he spat as he walked to the door. At the doorway he stopped and looked back, saying in a toneless voice, "I liked you better when I thought you actually were our ally instead of a sponger not wanting to get your hands dirty." He held open his hands for a moment, as if to say that's all, and then left the room. On his way down the steps, he passed Dumbledore, going up, no doubt to speak with Gemma himself.
Sirius couldn't explain it, but Gemma's reluctance to join the Order really hurt him. It was like she was shunning all his friends and all he stood for. He had given up everything, had given his life nearly on several occasions, for the Order and to help put a stop to the Dark Arts. Countless others had given their lives and died in an effort to stop Voldemort, including Harry's parents, and if Gemma couldn't honor that, then he had seriously misjudged her.
Gemma could not believe what had just happened. Not half an hour before, they had shared a somewhat romantic moment. Now he hated her and had raked over the coals. Why couldn't he understand that she just didn't think she deserved to be in the Order? Only the most capable of witches and wizards should be in the fight, and she was clearly not. Had she not nearly killed several innocent people in Diagon Alley through her mistake? Had she not crawled helpless at the feet of a Death Eater? Didn't he realize that she was a sitting duck for Death Eaters? They'd kill her before she knew what was coming if she ever had to face them. It wasn't that she didn't feel the Order a worthy cause or that she wanted He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to win. On the contrary, she felt awed to be with such fierce fighters and was somewhat assured that they would come out on top. But she certainly wasn't their equal.
Gemma couldn't imagine her day getting worse. She was determined to finish the Veritaserum as Dumbledore had ordered, and then she was going to hide under a rock for a least a week. Maybe by then Sirius and Dumbledore might have cooled off and would actually let her explain herself fully before blowing their lids.
Gemma began working on the potion again, and did not look up as she heard someone rap at the door. She didn't respond because she didn't want to give anyone else the opportunity to yell at her. She didn't have another fight in her. She tried to look without looking, and saw that it was in fact Dumbledore who had come in, no doubt to finish the job.
She was sure he must have heard some of the yelling Sirius had done, probably the whole house had, and her cheeks burned slightly. Was that what they all thought? That she didn't want to join because she supported You-Know-Who? She couldn't bear to hear Dumbledore say those things to her too, so she chose to remain silent.
"I'm very disappointed in you," Dumbledore said after a few minutes of silence, realizing that if he didn't say anything, Gemma certainly wouldn't.
"A little early in the argument to be using that card, isn't it?" Gemma responded stiffly, still stirring her potion. Why was it that he always knew the exact buttons to push? "But effective. I wish you wouldn't say that," she said in a softer, exasperated tone.
Dumbledore chuckled a bit and sat down on George's bed, so that he was facing Gemma at the cauldron. "You've got quite a bit of explaining to do," he raised his eyebrows and stared down at her. "I cannot fathom why you are so against joining the Order."
Gemma silently got up from the floor and moved to sit next to him. She sat completely still for a moment, a million thoughts running through her head. She had so many things she wanted to tell him, so many things she needed to say, but she couldn't pick where to begin. Finally, in a defeated tone, she responded, "I can't be brave like you all."
Dumbledore chuckled a bit, and reached for one of her braids. "I beg to differ. I would not be here today if it weren't for your actions."
Gemma looked away. "But it wasn't enough, was it? She still died. I couldn't saver her. And look at me now." She looked down at her hands, wringing them slowly in her lap.
Dumbledore was about to reply, but she continued, "I nearly died the other day in Diagon Alley, you know? There was a Death Eater standing over me, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about. I couldn't shield myself, I couldn't attack him. All I wound up doing was shooting bubbles and a bit of flowers at him. I can't defend myself, even when my life depends on it. And that's fine. I've learned to live with it. But about when it's not just my life? What if I'm doing something for the Order, it all depends on me, and I can't even cast a spell? What if I'm with someone that I can't protect? You and I both know I have no control over when my powers come and go. And even when they do come back, I still can't control them. I know Sirius and rest think I saved him that day but the truth is I had no choice in the matter. It was luck that I hit the Death Eater, because I could have just easily hit Sirius instead. I'll wind up doing more damage than good." She looked up into Dumbledore eyes, meeting his fiercely. "How can you put your faith into me when you can't even count on me?" She shut her eyes tightly for a moment. "In times like these, in war, you need someone you can rely on. That isn't me."
Dumbledore grabbed her hands and squeezed gently. "You have never let me down in my life, Gemma, and I know that you never will. I will always count on you because I know that I can." He began to rub her hands with his thumbs, a far away look in his eyes. "In these dangerous times, we must surround ourselves with those we love and care about, as much to drawn strength from them, as to protect them. And to do that, Gemma, we must fight. We cannot trust that things will turn out all right. We have to make them so, yes? We have to work at taking control of what we can. You understand this? That we must fight?" He held her gaze strongly. "No matter what we think we are facing, we must fight to keep it from happening."
Gemma nodded her head, but held onto Dumbledore hand. "This is a road I never intended for myself. I can't get involved in anything where someone's life would depend on me. Not after what happened before," she barely whispered out.
"Gemma, nearly everyone is now facing an untraveled path, as these are the darkest of times ahead of us. There are few fighting with us who survived the First War, and we are in no shape to fight a Second War. I can bet that very few ever intend to put themselves between Voldemort and his dominion. They never intended to travel this path either. Often, we do not have a choice in the matter. But, we all have to test ourselves at one time or another. And I daresay you will prove yourself to be much greater than you give yourself credit."
Dumbledore smiled at her softly. "And don't think that I haven't considered your unusual problem myself. I'm asking you to be in the Order as much to help us as to keep you safe. I won't be sending you on missions where I know there will be any direct danger. My thoughts were more for you to be a more reliable potions maker than we currently have. And a healer will be incredibly useful in our ranks, don't you think?" His voice took on a different tone as he talked about his plans for her and the Order. It was like the Order brought new life and purpose to him.
"I remember you being brilliant with ancient runes as well, and as it seems Lord Voldemort is searching in ancient scrolls, that will come in handy now too." He met her eyes and brought his hand under her chin. "Sound like a plan? I'll keep you out of direct action and I'll make sure you stay safe, especially now that I've put you on the Death Eater radar?"
Gemma nodded a bit. "What about my parents and my sisters and their families? What am I going to tell them? How can I keep them out of this? How do I explain to them that I am putting them in danger?"
Dumbledore sighed and closed his eyes tiredly. "I'm afraid it's too late now. The Death Eaters and Voldemort no doubt, now know that we have you helping us. There's no way to keep them out of it. But, the real point here, Gemma, the point I think Sirius was trying to make, much less eloquently, is that there is no where out of danger anymore. Lord Voldemort and the Death Eaters are back. The Second War has started. No one can simply stay out of it. Either he will win or we will. The best way now for us to protect those we love is to fight. Doing nothing will only put them in more danger."
Gemma nodded, realizing Dumbledore was right. No matter how many reasons she might give him for not joining, the fact of the matter was that there really was no choice. You-Know-Who was back and if he couldn't be stopped, she'd have a lot more to worry about than a few angry Death Eaters.
Dumbledore suddenly looked very sad. "I'm so sorry, Gemma. I keep asking so much of you, and giving you little chance to deny me."
Gemma chuckled mildly. "I'm keeping a tab, don't you worry. It doesn't help you're always right about everything though. Every little thing you have had me do has really been for the best, no matter how dismal it looked to start with."
Dumbledore brightened a bit. "I thank you for that vote of confidence."
Gemma shot him a small smile, but grew grave. "I will tell you this though, Albus Dumbledore. I've warned you. I tried not to join the Order of the Phoenix. One day down the line, I'm going to mess up. You're taking a great big gamble, and I just hope you aren't sorry you made me join."
Dumbledore raised his eyebrows, and looked at her sharply from his half-moon spectacles, but he did not answer her. Instead he got up and walked over to the cauldron. "I think we should get finished on this potion. I've got plans to use it soon."
Gemma joined him, and they carried on a companionable conversation, as if the events prior had never happened. Gemma tried to ignore the weight of the coin in her pocket and tried to not think ahead to what may come. Dumbledore's mind was working double-time, trying to figure out what Gemma could have possibly meant, and what she was hiding.