Chapter 4: Understanding

(( In the start of this chapter, a song is mentioned so I will leave a Youtube link for it. I recommend listening to it as you read the dream. Once the story becomes darker, skip to 1:04 as it matches the mood set by the text. As always, happy reading! watch?v=1ea90L91eZk ))

-Clara Parker (Sharpe)-

Dawn began to break through the window, the soft new rays of the sun falling onto the resting face of the young dancer. She was in the mists of a wonderful dream.. A dream that seemed nothing big at the moment, but in reality the dream held a much bigger meaning. A dream that revealed the truth of her feelings. Those feelings would not be pulled from her core until a later time, but the dream went as so.

The chill of snow caused a shiver to roll throughout her body, but the whiteness of the land inspired a sense of innocence throughout her body. A sense of what everyone else saw from her, but an item she could not see in herself. Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake, Op. 20 filled the silent air, causing the howling and whispering sound of the darkness and the wind to be overcome by the song. Her legs did not fail her now as she twirled and leaped through the air. The white ballet dress complimented the snow perfectly, making her almost blind entirely as her skin was pale white. Her hair neatly pulled into a dancer's bun, a glimmering tiara on her head. She leaped through the air once again, her head rolling back some before she landed elegantly and gracefully. She was as fluid as water as she moved through the snow. That was when Thomas came into view. A smile came across ballerina's face as she moved closer to him. He was too dressed in all white. His black hair slicked back as she closed the distance between them. His hands gripped onto her waist, lifting her up as the soft snowflakes fell onto the two of them.. It was a beautiful and sweat moment.. Then everything started to turn black.. The snow almost seemed to turn to fire. The ballerina twirled around to see Lucille. She was shrouded in coldness and darkness… She was wearing a long black dress, her black hair braided back. She looked like a raven. Thomas stepped in front of the dancer concealed in light, protecting her.. But then Lucille drew him in, sucking away the light. The snow almost seeming to turn to fire as Thomas left the darkness, now apart of it.. His clothes all black as even his blue eyes seemed to be black. The ballerina stood strong. Light shimmering off her as the dark male began to stalk towards her. The dancer began to leap away, trying to escape the darkness… But it caught her.. He caught her.. The lightness consumed by the darkness as the ballerina fell limp in his arms…

Clara woke with a start, sitting straight up. Her breath was hitched as she could feel her skin beginning to heat up. She felt pressure around her stomach and throughout her waist. Panic raced over her as she thought she had truly done something to harm herself.. Looking down she realized an arm was wrapped firmly around her.. Thomas's arm.. She let out a revealed breath, trying to calm herself as he began to stir..

The dream made it clear.. Clara held special feelings for Thomas.. Feelings that a sister should not feel for a brother.. But what did the end mean? What did the visualization of Lucille mean? Was her sister destined to bring her brother to the darkness, causing him to consume the dancer? The dancer who was so clearly Clara?.. So many questions.. So little answers. It was not until Thomas woke, looking at her with concern in his deep blue eyes did she return to reality.

"Clara? My dear, what is wrong?" He asked, stroking her cheek. She looked over at him, chest heaving against her dress. Her breasts barely contained within the neckline of the dress. His eyes began to wander down, but he caught himself and looked back up.

"Nothing.. Just a bad dream. That is all," She assured him with a soft smile. He nodded, leaning over and kissing her forehead.

"Fret not little one. I shall let no harm come to you," He promised her before getting up. He went into the bathroom, no doubt getting dressed for the day.

Clara let out a breath, looking over to the window. She watched the sun rise up for a moment before pulling herself from the bed. They had spent the night.. Lucille had asked them not.. No doubt this would cause trouble for both siblings. It was for that very reason no time was wasted and haste was given as they returned to the house. Neither said anything on the way back, both too consumed by internal feelings and conflicts to say anything, but there was something in that silence that drew them closer together.. Their hands rested in each others as she was right at his side. Her head on his shoulder as she watched the landscape once again.. Winter was almost there.. Soon the snow would began to fall..

Lucille was waiting in the doorway as they arrived. Her arms crossed her chest. She was wearing that blue dress she always seemed to wear. Thomas sighed as he saw his elder sister. He helped the youngest out of the carriage, placing a kiss on her forehead before he excused himself; however, Lucille stopped him from entering. Clara stood a good ways back.. Watching the two. She was honestly afraid of how Lucille was respond.. Afraid of what she would do, and her fear was not ill placed.

"Clara go be a proper lady and get properly cleaned up for the day. You and I shall be spending the rest of the day together… After I have a few quick words with /our/ brother," Lucille called, her words dripping with venom. She was jealous.. So clearly jealous.. Thomas was moving on from her.. Moving to the newest and shiniest object for him to claim.. Thomas watched Lucille, not taking his eyes from her as they stood just inches away from each other.

Clara did not hesitate or fight this. She did not want to be in the middle of this.. She quickly moved inside, slipping past them. She hurried up to her room. Before she closed the door, she could hear the sound of Lucille yelling and the sound of something crashing.. The two elder siblings no doubt about to break into a rather furious brawl..

The youngest had not mean to cause any trouble.. She didn't even know what she did.. She tried to ignore it all as she drew a bath. She cleansed herself of the sin of her thoughts before changing into a long sleeve golden dress. The sleeves were laced up in red lace so that more of her body could be revealed. The chest part and the bottom of the dress also lined with red. It was a stunning dress, like almost all of her clothing. She let her long brown hair fall into its normal position. She looked so elegant, very much like the proper lady she was.

With now having completed getting dressed, she sat on her bed. She passed the time by coming up with the rather brilliant idea to fix the house. She had the money and then some. She could pay to have people come in and fix all the things that needed fixing, restore the house to it's original beauty. She began to work on the plans for that, drafting lists and all the things she needed some. She would also hire a maid to come every week to keep the house clean. She was in the middle of doing said plans when she heard a knock on the door.

Pausing she looked over to the door. "Come in," She softly called, watching the door open to reveal a rather happy Lucile. It seemed she and Thomas had worked everything out.

"My apologizes for that Clara. Thomas and I had a bit of a disagreement, but it has all been resolved," She assured the youngest, sitting on the edge of the bed as she looked over all the paper Clara had. "You want to fix the house? What a grand idea. I shall not stop you from that."

"Thank you Lucille.. I am glad you and Thomas came to an agreement.. Where has he gone to now?" She asked, not used to visits from her sister.

"He has to work. All his machine parts came in, so he is attending to that. I thought it was time you and I talked. Sister to sister. Woman to woman..," She paused, smiling some. Clara was taken back a little by this, closing her notebook and sorting all of the papers into one spot.

"I would love that.. What are we to talk about?"

"Thomas."

"Thomas? Why him?"

"Oh come now little sister. You know why. It is time I told you the truth.. The whole truth."

Clara furrowed her eyes. "I do not understand."

"Let me start at the beginning.. When you were little, mother died. The police ruled it as an accident, but truth was I killed her. She was trying to separate me and Thomas, and I would not let that happen… She hurt you.. She abused you. She abused you.. She abused Thomas. She was a dangerous woman. She was a threat.. So I killed her for the good of our family.. I wanted to keep you, Thomas, and I all together.. I had no idea they would take you away, and I am so sorry for that. I am glad you found such a nice family and became such a respectful and beautiful woman… Anyways while you were gone, Thomas and I became close. Closer than just brother and sister. You see, he and I are lovers. We pleasure each other in bed, we make each other warm in the coldest nights. We still are, but you see Clara there is nothing wrong with such feelings. For us, all of us, loving each other this way is how we survive.. Things are changing now, and Thomas and I will still be lovers. I will still pleasure him as I hold the experience to do so.. But now.. Now you are here my beautiful little sister, and Thomas.. Well he loves you more than a sister. He wishes for you to be his.. He wishes to pleasure you. He wants you to be his."

Clara moved back some.. This was all a lot to take in.. The murder of her mother.. The fact that Thomas and Lucille had.. sex together.. And now that Thomas wished to take Clara.. The part of her she had been raised with told her this was wrong.. All of this.. That she should just run and not look back.. That she should not take part in any of this. It was a love triangle, within a family? How was that right?.. Another part of her told her that it was right. Oh how was it right.. It was a natural part of life. A part that she was a part of.. The war between the two parts waged, and the later was winning.

"I do not know what to say..," She finally admitted.

"Do not fight it Clara. I know you want to accept it. So accept it. You love Thomas. What is there not to love about him?" Lucille asked with a dark smile as she moved forward, moving Clara's hair back behind her shoulder. The youngest looked back, playing with her hands.

"I have not been with anyone before.. I am not sure how to act.. How do I admit what I am feeling to him? What do I do?"

"Nothing. Let him lead. He has enough experience for the two of you. I shall tell him what you feel. Do not worry. It will all work itself out. You two will be bonded, more so than Thomas and I am. You will be bounded by marriage.

"Marriage?... But he's my brother. The law will not allow me to marry my brother… This is absurd.."

"Your past is unknown to all. To the outside world you are just Thomas's lover. You can save this family. You can save Thomas. You will become his wife. He will pleasure you. You will be happy. I am not asking you. I am telling you because I know it's true. Do you understand?" The eldest snapped. Clara looked down, nodding.. She was to be Thomas's bride.. Her family would be thrilled.. She wasn't sure how she felt about it though.. It would take time for her to get used to the idea…

Clara shifted uncomfortably, keeping her legs close together. The truth hurt, but she was glad she knew it now. Glad that she was not kept in the dark from it all, and slowly she began to understand the purpose behind it all. She would save her family, give them the funds, make her brother happy.. She did love Thomas. It would all be for the best… Lucille killed their mother to protect the other siblings.. She did not like that it had to end murder, and she would not do the same.. But she understood..

She looked to Lucille, smiling some. "I understand.. Shall we tell Thomas now?" She asked. Lucille chuckled, shook her head.

"No. Let him work. Come. Bring your papers. It looks we woman have work to do. I will go cook dinner, and you can continue this downstairs," The eldest prompted. She did not jump straight to planning a wedding as Thomas had specifically said he would like to propose. As apart of the agreement the two had made shortly ago, Lucille had agreed to it. Clara and Thomas would become lovers, but Thomas and Lucille were not done. Every night until the wedding.. Thomas was would spend with Lucille. There would be very restless nights for the two for a while…

Clara nodded, gathering her things and following Lucille downstairs to the kitchen. Lucille did as she said and started to make dinner. The youngest finished up her plans, having it already sent out by the postal man that came that afternoon, before she began to clean everything. She began to actually become less like a sister and more like a wife.. But little did she realize, that dark side of Thomas.. The dark side from the dream… had already been stirred.. Thomas wanted Clara now more than ever.. And he would do whatever it took to take her, but he was no longer willing to wait for it..